Alright. Manic Taser Dream Girl, a Mardi Gras one-shot :-D

The first part is the remnants of a Christmas one-shot that I never finished, but I figured I'd post. Better late than never, eh?

And then we have Mardi Gras. I hope you like it :-)

Song mentioned below is of course, "Gold Digger" by Kanye West. You know I had to throw a little Kanye in there.


The doorbell was ringing incessantly.

Loki opened an eye to look at the clock on the bedside table … it was very early to be receiving guests. "Darling. Someone is at the door."

"Hmmmm. I don't answer the door on Saturday mornings," Darcy said groggily as she burrowed further under the duvet. "Nothing good can come of it."

The doorbell sounded again. And again.

"I do not think they are going away."

"Answer it if it's bothering you so much."

Loki grinned, rather loving the finer points of intimacy, such as being in love with someone who hated being awoken too early, and being met with an almost endearing scorn. "You really are so very pleasant in the mornings," he said, as he swung his long legs off the bed and stepped onto the chilly hardwood floor.

He walked down the stairs in pajama bottoms and a white t-shirt, figuring that was fine for greeting whoever called on a house at 9 o'clock on a Saturday morning. He opened the door, ready to scare the person away with rudeness if need be. Magic, if necessary.

He was met with an older man with dark hair that was grey on the sides, and blue smiling eyes … the kind of smiling eyes that one attained after years of practice in front of a mirror. A mask. The smirk on his face was also practiced … and also wasn't exactly friendly. "Good morning," the man said, in a loud clear voice. "Who the hell are you?"

The man then pushed inside. Loki inclined his head and raised a hand, ready to unleash his magic on the intruder. "Forgive me, but do you often force your way into people's houses in the mornings?"

"I am the caretaker of this house," the man said, as he walked over to the bottom of the staircase, obviously familiar with the layout. "Darlin!" he yelled in the direction of the second floor. "Get your butt down here, now!"

Realization dawned on Loki.

"You are Darcy's father."

"Hm." It was the only response he was given.

After only a few seconds, Darcy appeared at the top of the stairs, her hair looking like they'd had about ten rounds of sex the previous evening. She crossed her arms. "What are you doing here?"

Her father raised his voice again. "How long have you been in town?"

The only response she gave him was a shrug.

He seemed as if he was used to that reaction and went on. "You haven't been answering your phone."

"I didn't realize you even had my phone number."

"Don't start this shit, Darcy."

She rolled her eyes and started to walk down the stairs. "I had to get a new phone and a new number."

"I can't believe that I had to hear my daughter was in New Orleans, with some new boy, I might add, from the neighbors. You couldn't call?"

When she reached the last step, Darcy looked up at him. "What bothers you more, that I didn't tell you, or that you were embarrassed by the neighbors?"

"Let's not go down this road, Darcy. I haven't seen you in a year."

Darcy sighed. "Hi, Dad," she said blandly. "Hey, I'm in town. This is Loki, he's my … boyfriend." It still sounded weird to call a Norse demi-god her boyfriend.

"He lives with you?"

"Yep. We live together. In sin." Darcy looked over at Loki with much more warmth than she gave her father. "Loki, this is my dad. People call him Mr. Levi."

Darcy's father held out his hand. "Levi is fine."

Loki gave him a firm handshake. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Levi furrowed his brow, detecting an accent. "You're from … England?"

"Something like that," Darcy interrupted. "Now, what do you want? It's early, Dad."

"It's Christmas Eve, darlin'. You are coming to the house tonight, right?"

"Wasn't planning on it."


Loki decided to move things along to get the meeting over with, and get Darcy back to bed. "We will be there," he said. "Thank you for the invitation."

Levi gave him his first genuine smile of the morning while Darcy crossed her arms in a huff.

After he'd left, Darcy refused to go back upstairs. "Why did you do that?"

"Because darling, I know what it's like, having a complicated relationship with one's father … and I also know that eventually you would have accepted his invitation, if only out of curiosity as to what he wants exactly … because he would not have made such a gesture unless he wanted something. And I would rather not stand here all day while you two had it out … I'd rather take you back to bed, if you don't mind."

Darcy smirked. "Okay … but you're wrong, you know."

"Am I?"

"He doesn't want anything from me. He just wants to be able to tell the neighbors something, especially about you, the next time they ask."


"Never underestimate a southerner's need to look good in front of the neighbors."


Darcy stood on her father's front porch, trying to give Loki a run-down of the situation before going inside and being thrown to the wolves.

"Okay, I have a brother, Peyton, who is only a few years younger than me, and then a little brother who is five years old now. I also have a sister, but she spends Christmas Eve with her mother, I think … they all have different schedules and I can't keep up with them."

Loki nodded his head, committing it all to memory.

"Also, my grandmother will be here. We call her LuLu. Don't take anything she says seriously, okay? She had a stroke a few years ago and completely lost her filter."

"Her filter?"

"Yeah. You know, that part of your brain that helps you to stop from saying everything you think?"

Loki smiled. "And did you also have a stroke at some point? That sounds exactly like someone I know."

Darcy punched him softly in the shoulder and shook her head. "I might have filter problems … but you have no idea."

"Darcy!" The door opened to reveal a ridiculously cute and tiny dark-haired lad, holding a Captain America figure.

"Charming," Loki said, only slightly relieved that it hadn't been a Thor doll.

Darcy squealed and picked him up, twirling him around. Loki smiled, having never seen this side of her before … a maternal side. A side that she insisted wasn't there, the side where one gushes over children and babies … yet he was looking at evidence to the contrary.

The lad in Darcy's arms giggled and she gave him a kiss on the nose. "Loki, this is Jesse."


The boy nodded his head. "Yessir. I was named after my great-great-great-great-great grandpa. He carried a sword! What's your name?"


His little face brightened at the word. "My friend's cat is named Loki!"

Loki inclined his head. "Really."

A slight old woman in a pink suit stood in the doorway. "Good Lord, he's tall. Where in the world did you find him, Darcy?"

"I found him at the tall guy store, LuLu," she said, as she guided Loki into the house.


"So where is stepmom 2.5?" Darcy asked her father as she buttered a piece of bread. Everyone was sitting down at the fancy table in the dining room … everything decorated beautifully for Christmas.

"2.5?" Loki asked quietly, not understanding.

"I've had 2 and a half stepmoms," Darcy explained. "He married two of them, but was only engaged to another one."


Darcy's father took a sip of bourbon, the ice clinking in the glass. "She took a little trip to Aspen with one of her friends," he said through his teeth.


Darcy's brother Peyton began to laugh. "She went to Aspen with Jesse's nanny."

Levi then gave Peyton a look that said "shut the fuck up".

"Yes, dear," Darcy's grandmother said. "Levi has managed to turn this one into a lesbian."

Darcy's father cleared his throat. "Have you spoken to your mother?" he asked her, trying to change the subject.

She smiled, taking a strange pity on her father, and letting him talk about something else. "Yeah. She's fine … she's probably working."

Peyton laughed. "Brenda-bot is at work on Christmas Eve? I'm so surprised."

Darcy turned to look at him sharply. "Yeah, she always has worked pretty hard, putting herself through college and moving to the top in a career dominated by men … so, how is your mom doing? Still collecting child support and alimony from half of the Garden District? Of course, what she does is a different sort of work, but still exhausting I gather."

Loki's eyes widened at Darcy's cutting words to her brother. He then smiled slightly, a bit proud of her … never quite feeling this close to her before, watching her sibling interactions.

"Darcy!" her father warned.

"Jonee was a bit of a gold digger dear, you have to admit," LuLu said.

Levi took another drink, chewed on his ice, and looked down the table, apologetic. "Loki. I am so sorry, our dinners are usually much more civilized."

"No they're not," Darcy said.

"It's fine, sir. I actually feel very much at home," Loki said, with a smirk.

"My mom is not a gold digger!" Peyton growled at his sister.

Darcy took a sip of wine and set her glass down, looking at her brother with an evil glint in her eye. She then opened her mouth and began to recite a song … or a rap?

"I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids, his baby momma's car and crib is bigger than his, you will see him on TV any given Sunday, win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai, she was spose to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money, she went to the doctor got lypo with ya money, she walkin' around lookin' like Michael with ya money, should've got that insured, got GEICO for ya money."


"What, Peyton?" Darcy asked, batting her eyelashes. "I ain't sayin' she a gold digger. But she ain't messin' with no broke …"

"Darcy!" Levi cut her off.

"What? I wasn't going to say it!"

"What in The Nine was all that?" Loki asked.

Darcy shrugged. "Kanye."

He shook his head. "I should have guessed."

LuLu then spoke up, as if there was no tension in the room what so ever. "Ah. So Loki, is it true what they say about British men … are they really so very terrible in bed?"

Darcy dropped her fork. "He's not exactly from England, LuLu … he's from sort of, more north of there."

"Like Scotland?"

"Sure. Let's go with that."

"Ooohhhh, yes, those Scots are crazy. Nothing underneath those kilts, they say. Is he very good with his broadsword then, sweetheart?"

Darcy blushed, but took a drink of wine and then responded. "Very skilled, LuLu."

"I've always had a fondness for Scottish men," she said, nodding. "Sean Connery … and that Liam Neeson fellow, I've heard that he has an enormous co.."

"LIAM NEESON IS IRISH LULU," Darcy interrupted before the old woman could finish her sentence. "He only played a Scot in that one movie."

"Ah yes. And Loki certainly is tall like Liam Neeson, I'm sure that he …"

Loki interrupted her this time. "Yes ma'am, you could say that I have a very particular set of skills."

Darcy smiled slowly at him. "Indeed," she said.


The weeks they had spent in together New Orleans had been needed, had been restorative … and they were also an education in intimacy, as Loki and Darcy were able to spend the kind of time together that creates bonds … ones created because they desired to create them, and not because they were forced to live under the same roof together via impending Thanos or HYDRA threat … because of imminent doom. And for Loki, the weeks spent with Darcy had been some of the best of his strangely long life, and most certainly in recent memory. It was almost as if someone else had let go of his hold on the Bifrost … it was someone else that had spent all that time in the darkness in Thanos' torturous corner of space. Someone else entirely that had led an alien invasion on New York City.

But then the last couple of weeks happened and what was once a restorative and enlightening sabbatical, had become an exercise in testing one's stamina and ability to consume mass quantities of rich food and spirits. The weeks-long human tradition known as Mardi Gras reminded Loki of the most debaucherous of spring festivals on Asgard, Vanaheim, and Alfheim. But this was on another level … as it was more that just feasts and drink and dancing, the celebrations of the cycles within Yggdrasil … this had a modern human element, so there were bright lights, music that vibrated through your body, and the kind of excess and indulgence that would make even Volstagg bat an eye.

Loki's first big Carnival parade was one called "Muses", which Darcy had claimed as her favorite. They stood among a crowd of people at Scott's family home on St. Charles Avenue, armed with coolers of beer and lawn chairs, waiting for the night to fall.

He put his arm around her waist and bent down. "I still don't quite understand, Darcy. All of this … simply because one must begin to fast next Wednesday?"

She looked up and smiled. "Yep! You have to get the party out of your system before you give something up for Lent. By the time Ash Wednesday comes along, no one wants to look at alcohol and king cake anymore."

"But why must you give something up? Why go through all this?"

Darcy shrugged. "You're supposed to deny yourself one of your vices. Like, a fast … for the 40 days and 40 nights leading up to Easter. Jesus spent 40 days fasting in the desert … it's supposed to be a time of self-reflection … but these days it just means people eat seafood on Fridays."

He shook his head in confusion. "How is it that Jesus, out of all of the gods on your planet, was the one to make such a lasting impression."

"He was a rebel."

"Self-reflection does not exactly sound rebellious."

"No … he was rebellious because back when you could chop off someone's head just for looking at you sideways, he told people to just be nice to each other."

Loki laughed. "Just be nice to each other? Need I remind you of …"

Darcy held up her hand. "Don't! I'm not in any sort of mood to get into a deep philosophical discussion about Christianity with you, because in all probability, you'll be preaching to the choir. Let's just say that Jesus had a better PR guy than the other gods."

He cocked an eyebrow at her. "Very well, but for as much as parts of your country dislikes paganism, and dismisses the traditions of your ancient peoples as ignorant, this all seems very pagan."

"Most of our holidays have pagan roots. The more things change, the more things stay the same." Darcy lost her train of thought and pointed … "Look. It's starting."

Loki glanced down the street and saw several men holding long torches to light the path of the parade.

"That's the flambeaux," Darcy said. "The torchbearers. Back in the day, they would be slaves or free men of color, and they could earn money during the parades. People would throw them coins … but these days it's usually dollar bills."

Loki had spent weeks learning about the area's history and "people of color", as Darcy called them, and the idea of "racism". It was something that definitely struck his interest, as Asgard had its own views on color … but mainly with blue.

"So these torchbearers still light the way. Yet they are no longer slaves?"

Darcy laughed. "Um, no."

"Then why do they still get money from the crowd?"

"Tradition. New Orleans is very good at keeping traditions alive … even if they're obscenely outdated."

Jules and Scott then walked up and stood next to them, drinks in hand, to view the beginning of the parade. "Do you seem them yet?" Jules asked.

Darcy shook her head.

"Who are we supposed to be looking for?" Loki asked.

"It's the Muses parade … the all-woman parade. No dudes allowed," Darcy smirked. "And sometimes the muses like to show up to their parade."

"The muses?"

"The descendents of their great mothers, the Greek muses." Jules smiled and pointed. "See? There."

If you didn't practice magic, you wouldn't see it … but if you were tuned into the Earth's energies, you could pick up on it. As the parade started to roll down their section of the street, and giant colorful floats with ladies in bright wigs waved and threw beads and trinkets into the beckoning crowd … you could find nine women, all with a soft golden glow emanating from them, weaving through the mass of people.

"Make your magical presence known, you guys," Jules said, as she held up a hand, and her purple energy began to shine around her.

"In front of humans?" Loki was confused.

"They won't notice," Scott said. "It looks like all the other lights around here."

"Magic hidden in plain sight," Jules said.

They all held out their hands, though Loki didn't understand why. "I'm not sure what we're doing."

Darcy winked at him, her blue light glowing around her fingertips. "We're asking for a favor … everyone else out there has their hands raised for beads and Mardi Gras throws … we have our hands raised for a blessing of magic."

One of the nine women, with bright red hair and a long form-fitting, yet comfortable-looking white dress, sighted them and walked in their direction. When she came upon them, she waved a hand and a warm glow formed over them in a shimmery arc, blending with their magic. The woman smiled. "Jules," she said, her voice almost sounding like a song.

"Thank you, daughter of Erato," Jules replied and bowed slightly. The woman smiled, nodded in return, and was on her way.

Loki felt a gentle golden static run up his arm and then down his spine. It was as if the magic quenched a thirst that he had no idea was even there to begin with.

"She just dosed you with inspiration, Loki," Scott said, jumping up and down as if he was getting ready for a race. "Feels fucking amazing."

"And this is why Muses is my favorite parade … damn," Darcy said, stretching her arms toward the sky.

Loki looked around the crowd, able to pick up on every tiny detail, feeling a high that almost didn't quite fit with him, as it felt so incredibly light … it told him that he could do anything.

He shook his head and thought of the realm he used to scoff at, and dismissed as a planet filled with fools. A lower life-form. Midgard.

Darcy looked up at him and grinned. "You're doing that thing again, aren't you."

"What thing."

"That thing where you're like … 'Midgard. What the fuck.'"

Loki grinned back at her. "I suppose you could say that."


The rest of the weekend went by in a haze of alcohol, music, crowds, more parades, and very little sleep. On Lundi Gras, the Monday before Mardi Gras, Eshu decided to show up, taking a break from his wanderings, to celebrate a day of chaos with his fellow brother-in-chaos. Loki and Eshu spent the afternoon messing with drunk people, their new favorite trick being one where they gave passed-out unfortunates horrific tattoos on very visible places on their bodies, like their forehead. Jules and Darcy protested until it was made apparent that the tattoos only looked and felt real, but they would wash off with ease.

Although no amount of drunkenness would make people forget about a party they happened to walk by, where a crawfish boil was being held. As soon as the big vat of mudbugs were dumped out on the long communal table, along with potatoes, corn on the cob, and mushrooms, the little creatures decided to not be cooked and ready to eat after all. They got up and started to scamper away. Every party-goer standing at the table then suddenly threw their go-cups of beer in the air and started running in the opposite direction and away from the zombie-crawfish … while the two Gods of Mischief stood at the side laughing their heads off, while Darcy and Jules exchanged glances of … "divine tricksters … can't take them anywhere."

By the time Mardi Gras Day rolled around, and the first rays of light broke through the curtains of Loki and Darcy's bedroom in the morning, neither one was all that motivated to get out of bed.

Darcy forced herself to sit up. "Come on, Loki. One more day."

He threw an arm around her and pulled her back under the covers. "I believe we should just sit this one out and spend the day in bed … I've not been able to have my way with you, as we've been too busy trekking around this city in a drunken fog."

Darcy snuggled up to him and kissed his cheek. "One more day. Then all the sex you want."

"Hn. How about just all the sex I want."

She sat back up. "Later. Now, get dressed. You have to teleport us to Jules' house."

He rolled his eyes but complied, and quite soon after that, found himself in Jules' living room watching Scott paint the girl's faces in elaborate floral designs, while they drank bloody marys at 6:30 in the morning.

"What are you for Mardi Gras, Loki?" Scott asked, as he put the finishing highlights of a blue flower on Darcy's cheek.

"I believe I'll just be Kanye West again, as I was on Halloween."

"Which means he just wants to wear his suit," Darcy said. "He's doing his thing where he doesn't want to look like a silly Midgardian and go out in public in costume."

Loki inclined his head. "That's not completely true, darling. I've added a very important element this time," he said, as he pulled a pair of shutter shades out of his pocket and put them on.

Darcy sat and laughed at her trickster boyfriend, looking gorgeous in his suit, his hair getting longer again, tied back in a ponytail … with Kanye West shutter shades. "I'll take it," she said.

After a few shots and filling their go-cups with plenty of bloody mary, they joined the rest of Jules's neighborhood in the walk towards the French Quarter, stopping every so often to mingle at a chilly morning party, or dance along with people on a street corner who had set up drink and music stations. Along the route, they were joined by Eshu and Chango, along with several people that Loki had never met, though they were always friendly, as if he'd known them for decades.

In the Quarter, he found himself amazed yet again. The area was packed, everyone dressed up as some sort of whimsical creature, or characters from fiction … also, a lot of sharks. Darcy had told him that it was a big year for sharks. As the day progressed and he became warmer, either from the weather or the alcohol, it gave him the illusion of comfort … and he found himself without his suit jacket and tie. And then he found himself without a shirt altogether as they happened upon a drum circle in an ancient narrow street. As the beat went on and on, he began dancing, everyone moving to the rhythm … and Loki discovered that he was able to close his eyes and lose himself completely to the music. It must have been all the vodka. Or rum. Probably the rum. Maybe both.

He opened his eyes to find Darcy staring at him, smiling.

"What is it?"

She nodded at him and he looked down. On his stomach, he could see a flash of blue. He had somehow faded into his Jotun form during the dance. He panicked momentarily but Darcy reached out to touch his chest. "Don't," she said. "It's all good."

It's all good.

He couldn't bring himself to care … as no one around him seemed to care. Not one person. Everyone was smiling, laughing … and quite the opposite of caring about such things. No one was recoiling and running in the opposite direction, as they would have on Asgard. And his skin felt like it could breath in a completely new way.

They kept dancing until it began to get dark, and the streets started to become less populated with people, and filled with discarded beads and cups. The remnants of Carnival season … it's last few hours. It eventually began to rain, as if the land was washing away the weeks of excess, and people ducked inside of bars and eateries, packing them to the brim.

After they were thoroughly soaked and heard thunder in the distance, Darcy squeezed his hand. "I think we conjured a storm," she teased. "Can you take us home?"

He grinned down at her. "Gladly." They waved good-bye to their party before teleporting back to the house, in their living room.

Darcy shivered, her teeth chattering. "It's freezing in here."

"Well … you are all wet," Loki said, then he snapped his fingers, bringing up a fire in the fireplace.

She raised an eyebrow. "Are you trying to be romantic?"

Loki shrugged. "Come here." He touched her cheek and all the make-up that had begun to smear from the rain disappeared, leaving behind only her soft skin.

He leaned down to kiss her and when he wrapped his arms around her, she gave a slight gasp. Loki broke the kiss and looked down … he was still in his Jotun form.

"I am sorry," he said, just about to revert back to Aesir.

"No! Don't. I like it … you're just … a little chilly." She smiled as she sat down on the rug in front of the fireplace. "Come over here. I'm about to be overheated. I'm going to need you to cool me down."

He knelt over her. "I can do that."

With ease, they peeled off each other's clothing, warming themselves by the fire, and building their own kind of heat. Loki ran his hands over her body, making it respond to the magic in his fingertips, sending gentle waves over her skin, brushing it with vibrations of pleasure. She in turn, did the same to him, as he had been teaching her how to direct her magic much better … and it felt intensely warm and inviting, while being in his Jotun form.

They took their time, exploring every inch of their bodies, lit only by firelight … the only sounds were their breathing, sighs of pleasure, and the rain's gentle tapping on the windows accompanied by the occasional rumble of thunder.

Darcy lay back on the soft rug as his mouth searched her neck, and then lavished her breasts with the utmost attention … taking the time to coax each nipple to their height of sensitivity, kneading with his hands. And then she found his head dipping lower, his lips kissing his way down and between her legs, until his tongue found her heated slick flesh, swollen from arousal.

She moaned at the sudden feeling of his cold lips, and he began to work gently, masterfully … the contrast making everything even more heightened than usual, the difference in temperature bringing about an ultra-awareness of every single movement, every lick, every swirl of his tongue. He would bring her to the brink, over and over again, and then slow down, back off, sending her into a lusty frenzy. He laughed softly as she took matters into her own hands and sat up, forcing him onto his back.

"Why are you always such a damn tease?" she said, as she straddled him.

"Hmmmnn, because I love it when you're so overcome, you take control … you're so beautiful when you take control." He groaned as she slid down onto him, the intense warmth of her enveloping him. "Sooo very beautiful."

Loki watched as she moved slowly, the light of the fire dancing across her curves, his own body overcome. He slipped back into his Aesir form to make it all last longer … he so wanted it to last. For forever.

Darcy bent down to kiss him. "Why did you switch?"

He ran his warm hands up her back. "Because it was about to be over with a little too quick for my liking."

"Hmmm." She sat up and began to pick up the pace. "I'll happily make love to you in either form."

He breathed deep and stretched in pleasure. "And I love you for it."

"I love you, too."


Thanks for reading, guys! Happy belated Mardi Gras. I'll be writing the sequel to MTDG after Age of Ultron comes out. I have a basic outline and a direction I want to go in, but I'd still like to kind of make it fit. At least a little ;-)

Until then, if you want, you can read For the Laughs, my other fic. It's a WIP and AU.

Also, I had to sneak it in there, but my first novel is about the muse from the "Muses" parade. Hopefully it will be finished soon. As always, thanks for your amazing support. I wouldn't be half the writer I am today without you.