*Card Captor Sakura and its characters are rightfully owned by Clamp/Kodansha.

**Dedicated to Meemee-chan for being a very giddy tomodachi. Arigatou.

Mea Vita

By L. Hiiragizawa


I have discovered.

I have perceived.

Mea Vita,

Do you wish to see?


In front of a large mansion, a lone figure stood. Her hair seemed to sway with the wind's waltz and beside her tapping feet; a forgotten hat was gradually being drifted away. Away the precious item flew towards the ends of nowhere as its owner remained stagnantly still. In her hands, she clutched something dear.

Finally, she raised her hand that the contrasting blueness of a fabric met with her unmoving violets, which hid her emotions intact. She blinked. Twice. Thrice. Sinking into the depths of the cool hue, her lips formed a sweet curve. Looking back to where she was first gazing, she took a few small steps towards a grand, huge gate that was covering the view of the gardens behind. A few blossoms were visible though from the outside, each petal reminding her of the gentle, warm hands who preserved the beauty they behold. They reminded her of the kind heart who helped her through all the pains of loss and grief. He, who she desperately clung for support from falling apart and breaking into pieces, was her darling friend, confidant and tear-catcher. She wouldn't have accepted that she shall never be hers no matter how hard she tries to take her away from the man who owns her heart if it was not for him.


Mea Vita.


"Crying would do you nothing, Daidouji-san. The more you dwell into the pain, the more you hurt."

"Does that mean you never cried for anyone?"


"Even for her?"

The venom in her voice struck his soul, poisoning him, breaking the walls he built.


Quiet sobs prevented the melancholic silence, coming once in a while, from lasting.

Words were forgotten.

His warm arms wrapped around her fragile frame, embracing her close and she gasped in surprise. He rubbed her back and played with her tresses, comforting and silencing the soft cries escaping her mouth.

No apologies came from her trembling lips.

Like a little, weak child, he held on to him for a while, pouring out the woes enclosed all the years of her sad existence.

He wiped all visible traces of hurt away from her the pale, porcelain face he adored for months. Still feeling tinges of unhappiness, his face radiated tranquility and calmness, like what he usually was.

Mere actions, no enunciation of gratitude, no apologies.

With a pained smile, he rose and went on his way without looking back.

She watched as he vanished and contemplated on the mistake she did and the painful words she uttered.

Too late.

He was gone and the skies were getting dimmer and dimmer each fleeting second. Stars bade its way unto the dark sheath that covered the sun's rays, like glittering crystals embedded in mourning black.

Only one thing remained…

Her eyes darted towards the tear-stained, damask-scented cloth.

The kerchief.

His kerchief.


Mea Vita.


Tomoyo's hand repelled from the doorbell as soon as she laid her finger on it. She sighed and fear came over her. Long gone was the braveness she instilled on herself before she had the guts and courage to return what must be returned and thank the person she owes gratefulness. 

What if she annoys him?

What if he would push her away?

What if he would say things she would never like to hear?

What if?


A loud shriek shattered the once pacified surroundings and a grunt of displeasure followed. Tomoyo turned her back and was instantly taken into the arms of a squealing woman (err…cross dresser, as what Spinel Sun usually says with great confidence, which would be followed by yells and objections from the devil, Touya-kun addresses.)

"Suppi-chaaan and Eriol-sama have been talking about you a while ago, Tomoyo-chaaaan. The poor, poor fellow seemed too sober these days."

The statement inwardly shocked Tomoyo as Nakuru tightened her grip around her.


"Quiet you blabbermouth. And I repeat, it's not Suppi-chaaaaaaan, dear life form, it's Spinel. Stick that to your brain, if you have one that is." The tiny, black, feline annoyingly stated as he quickly changed expressions and smiled at the perplexed girl.

"Oh but Suppi-chaaan, Spinel is too rubbish for a kawaiiiiii plushie like youuuu." The guardian cheerfully replied while grabbing the other struggling guardian and pinching both of its cheeks.

"Did you just call me plushie, try-hard cross dresser?"

"And did you just call me a try.hard.cross.dresser., you book face, you, you…"

Tomoyo giggled as Nakuru stuffed a cookie down the poor fellow's throat and amusingly watched as its face rivaled a tomato.

Hidden behind the Sakura tree, a figure watched, observing her every detail. He was glad to see her smiling in spite of the pained expression still hidden beneath the fake glow of her face. He knew she was coming since he felt her aura coming close to his. He had memorized her being. The way she smiles, talks, glides gracefully as she walks during the afternoons they spent walking beside each other after class.

Because she was special.

TOO special.


She spotted him.

He looked around.

Nakuru and Spinel chased each other towards the kitchen, leaving the both of them to themselves.


Escape was futile.

Like a brave knight, he faced battle.

"I-I came o-over to return this."

He noticed his kerchief neatly folded in the palm of her hand. Reaching out to take it from her hand, he clasped her hands in his involuntarily and smiled.

"And I'm sorry Hiiragizawa-kun for blurting out those words. I know it may hurt but I st—"

She felt a finger over her mouth and looked up to meet his eyes.

"I don't need apologies, Daidouji-san. I understand. I shouldn't have talked in the first place. It is I who must be forgiven for intruding."

Tomoyo shook her head.

"I know that I've hurt you and I shouldn't have mentioned your past. Stop denying, Hiiragizawa."

Her voice raised an octave higher and she broke free from his hold. She tore away from his gaze and tears formed behind her glassy eyes.


She choked as a single tear rolled down.

"You're the only one I've got left."

Upon seeing her tear, he wiped it away with his thumb and tipped her chin up that she might meet his eyes once again. Maybe, just maybe, she would see through and notice the torment he secretly concealed since the day she cried into his arms because of her beloved.

"And I don't want to lose you, Hiiragizawa-kun. Nobody ever understood me better than you do. Please say you'll stay."

He nodded as he pinched her nose and smiled truthfully.

"I have nowhere to go, Daidouji-san. Nowhere. My road ends in you because you hold a special place in me. You're special."

With that, Tomoyo lit up and her lips twitched into a real curve. Holding out her pinky finger, she reached out for his hand and encircled her finger with his.


Eriol accepted and returned the gesture with hopeful eyes.

"Yes, Tomoyo-san, I promise."

Both stood still and Tomoyo just couldn't explain how she felt at the moment as she stared into his bluish-gray orbs, with her pinky intertwined with his.

Yes, he promised and he shall always be by her side.

Nothing and no one could come between.

Her gaze then turned to the forgotten blue kerchief on the floor and memories of their companionship flooded her mind in a split second.

Returning back to his blue pools, she stepped closer and whispered:

You are my one and only.

Then she stared at him with blissful eyes, hoping that he'll see what she felt and hid inside…

Mea vita.

My Darling.



I learned the phrase 'Mea Vita' in Literature class when we discussed Roman Poetry. Guess what that means. ^_^

Does this sound angsty? Gah. I don't know why I write such. *bangs head on the keyboard*

Anyway, this is dedicated to Meemee-chan and I advise you to go read her fics. Now.

 I am not worthy of writing this for her since she is too good.~_~

Oh, and to those who wonder why I *almost* write the same situations, let's just say that those are products of personal experiences.

I can't help it. Writing is the best thing to do than wasting time crying, eh?

Do Read and Review. Make me happy. (kidding).