Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: I'm gonna warn yah, Edward fans may wanna steer clear... *grins*

"I'm not a prude," Edward huffed angrily, running a hand through his expertly messed copper hair.

After years of having his manhood (and his sexuality) questioned by that giant ape, Edward was determined to prove him wrong by – how had Emmett put it – 'picking up a chick' at this club.

He looked up at the sign hanging over the entrance as he approached; it was simple white letters against a black background.


The name seemed classy enough for a club and he hoped that the clientele reflected that. He had already dismissed two other clubs in town as he passed them, turned off by the painted woman in tight, barely there dresses that mingled around outside. As eager as he was to shut Emmett up once in for all, it didn't mean he had to lower his standards to do it.

He withdrew his ID and watched as the bouncer at the door stared at it skeptically, no doubt questioning its authenticity. (Sometime it sucked to be stuck in the body of an eternal 17 year old.) Sure, he had every right to be suspicious considering it was a fake, but it was a very good fake. Completely undetectable to, not only the human eye, but any tests that might be given to it, not unlike the one being given now.

The bouncer slipped the light he'd been shining on the surface into his pocket and passed the ID back to Edward, making a 'come in' motion with his chin as he did so – even if he didn't look too happy to be doing it.

Resisting the urge to shoot a haughty smirk at the man who could put Emmett's bulked up frame to shame; Edward dusted at the non-existent lint on the shoulder of his three hundred dollar shirt and strolled into the club.

He came to a stop just inside the entryway and cast a critical eye around the dimly lit area. The inside was smaller and more intimate – closer to a bar than an actual club – than he'd been expecting, with a small set of steps leading to a medium sized dance floor tucked at the very back. There was roughly about twenty people dancing to the music that was pumping from the speakers that hung from the walls surrounding the space – the typical type of pop garbage- and while it was loud, it wasn't intolerable.

The whole club was fairly packed and Edward had to take a moment to separate his thoughts from those of the people around him. It was times like this that he wished he had more control of his gift and if hadn't been so damn determined to one up Emmett, he probably would have turned right back on his heel.

He smirked when he caught the thoughts of the blond giving him the eye from the table across from where he was standing, realizing that he'd be able to use his gift to his benefit and find out which woman would be more receptive to coming home with him.

Quite a few, it turned out, as yet more thoughts of women in the near vicinity reached him. He preened slightly under the attention, mentally telling Emmett to shove it. As he strolled towards the bar, he scanned the thoughts of the women around them, slowly dismissing them one by one.

Too drunk, he thought as a red-head gave him a sleazy wink. He caught the eye of a blond in a barely there dress giving him a 'come hither' look. Too easy. His nose wrinkled when he caught the thoughts of yet another blond – who was worrying about her test results – and pasted his best, 'not interested' look on his face when she smiled at him.

By the time he had reached the bar, he had decided that none of the woman were up to his standards. Signalling the bartender, he ordered the only alcoholic drink he knew the name of – a Martini – and leaned against the bar top as he waited. In the time it took for the bartender to bring it to him, he had dismissed four more women and he disappointedly pretended to sip at the drink – trying not to grimace as the liquid touched his lips.

Perhaps I'll have to try another place, he mused, turning around to sit the full glass back on the bar top. The action drew his attention to the woman sitting by herself at the end of the bar, looking shyly around her surroundings and nibbling gently on her pouty lower lip.

Edward cocked his head as he eyed the dark green dress she wore – which managed to be both flirty and demure – and swallowed thickly when she shifted in the stool she sat on and drew his attention downwards when she crossed her long, bare legs.

He reached out to her with his mind as he took his first tentative step towards her, only to halt in his tracks when he realized that he couldn't pick up anything from her. Not a single thought.

Tilting his head with unease, he did his best to drown out his surroundings and focused on her completely. He breathed a sigh of relief when he caught the soft, steady thump of her heartbeat and saw the pretty blush that colored her high cheekbones when she caught him staring at her.

Intrigued at her ability to block his thoughts – something he had never run into before – he drew closer to her. A slightly dreamy smile touched his lips as the scent of her – lacking the harsh chemicals of perfume and consisting instead of something softer, like peaches – swirled around him and caused his thoughts to go a little hazy.

"Is this seat taken?" he asked, pointing at the stool beside her.

She flashed a shy smile up at him and tucked a piece of long, mahogany hair behind her ear. "Not at all," she murmured.

"Edward Cullen," he introduced, holding out his hand.

"Bella Swan," she replied, reaching out with her own and blushing when he dropped a light kiss on her knuckles.

He turned his head away for a moment to lick at his lips, groaning lightly as he savored the faint taste of her skin. Clearing his throat, he turned back towards her. "Forgive me if I'm wrong, Bella, but this doesn't seem to be your sort place."

She chuckled softly, the bell-like sound sending a pleasant shiver down his spine. "Is it that obvious?"

"Only a little," he promised, flashing her a grin.

She sighed and began fiddling with the napkin that was placed under the fruity concoction she had in front of her. "Normally, I'd prefer to be curled up somewhere with a glass of wine and a book, but my friends insisted I come out tonight." She turned and scanned the club, frowning when she didn't find whatever it was she was looking for. "But they went off with two guys almost fifteen minutes ago and I haven't seen them since."

He looked over his own shoulder at the dance floor that had gotten more crowded. "Probably lost somewhere in the crowd."

"Yes," she laughed, "and probably breaking a few public decency laws while they're at it." She motioned subtly to a couple that practically looked like they were having sex and the two shared a laugh.

They began to exchange the usual banal topics of conversation – where they were from, what they did for a living (things Edward was forced to answer with carefully prepared lies for the most part) – and Edward was pleasantly surprised to learn that they had so many things in common. The more he got to know about her, the more he began to think that this woman had been made for him. Though he still couldn't hear her thoughts, he could read her body language, and it was telling him that she was very into him – and very susceptible to moving this elsewhere.

Gathering up his courage, he boldly asked, "Would you like to come back to my place?"

He knew it was dangerous to bring a human back to the house, given Rose's disdain towards their kind and the tenuous control Alice's mate had over his blood lust, but dammit, he wanted to rub the fact that he'd managed to pick up a beautiful woman right in Emmett's face.

"Yes," she agreed shyly, gathering her up her small purse.

He brushed away her attempts to pay for the drinks and laid a crisp bill on the bar before placing his hand on her lower back and guiding her towards the door.

"Don't you have a jacket?" he asked, when she didn't pause by the coat check and instead, continued walking.

"I do," she replied, "but it's actually in my friend's car." She blinked up at him, and for a minute he swore her eyes flashed silver but he quickly assured himself that it was a trick of the light. "Do you mind if I stop and get it?"

"Do you need to get the keys?" he questioned, gesturing back towards the clubs.

She chuckled. "As much as I may warn her, my friend's not really big on locking her doors."

"Well, then lead away," he said magnanimously. "Where exactly is her car?"

She grinned sheepishly and pointed a little ways up the street. "The parking lot was pretty packed when we got here; we were forced to go somewhere else. There's a little parking lot tucked behind that building up there," she said, indicating what looked like an office.

He motioned to the parking lot where he had managed to find a space. "Would you like me to drive you up there? Save you some time?"

"Would you mind if we walked? There's something..." she smiled coyly up at him. "...romantic about walking with someone at night."

He nodded in agreement and they started up the sidewalk.

"So, do you live alone?" she asked, shivering slightly in the cool night air.

He stepped closer and curled an arm around her shoulders. He was hesitant to reveal he still lived at home with his entire family, but knew she was going to find out anyways. "I share the house with my two brothers and two sisters. We all go to school in the area, so it helps to cut back on the bills," he lied.

"How sensible of you."

If he hadn't been so distracted by the feel of her skin under his hand, he would have heard the mockery in her voice.

The shadows grew deeper as they drew further away from the club and Edward looked up at a burnt out streetlight. "You'd think the city would do more to keep these things from burning out," he remarked, frowning when he realized that none of the streetlamps in the near vicinity looked to be operational.

"Oh, they're not burnt out," Bella said, a hint of amusement in her voice.

His brows furrowed in confusion and he brought them to a stop in front of a darkened alleyway. "What do you mean?"

A third voice – male – joined the conversation. "She means we broke them."

"Wha –"

The solid punch to his face caught him off guard, but he had no time to be stunned by the venom he could now feel trickling down his cracked cheek before he was shoved hard into the alleyway and knocked to his back on the dingy ground.

He attempted to scramble to his feet, but was pressed down by a set of feet on either side of him – one a thick soled boot and the other with a stabbing point that indicated a heel – that, even with his superior vampire strength, he was unable to fight off. Panicked, he attempted to reach out his gift, only to rear his head back when he was met with nothing more than a resounding silence.

There was a flick of a lighter and a sputtering flame lit up the features of a black-haired man with a silvery scar intersecting the thick eyebrow over his left eye and a beautiful red-headed female grinning down at him. Both had matching sets of silver eyes – the likes of which he'd never seen before – and they glowed softly in the flickering light.

"Boo," the man taunted, his grin stretching to become almost shark like, before he blew out the flame and the alley was once again plunged into darkness.

"Did he touch you?" the male voice from earlier asked harshly.

Edward heard Bella scoff and say, "As if I would let anyone but you touch me," before the distinctive smacking sounds of kissing met his ears.

The two holding him down apparently had no qualms about him lifting his head, and Edward blinked his eyes as they fully adjusted to the dark. He could make out Bella's back; the hem of her green dress shortened as she balanced on her tip-toes and furiously kissed the man her arms were wrapped around. There was one pale hand buried in her thick, mahogany hair and the other wrapped possessively around her waist.

As he watched them, the man shifted Bella's head enough so that Edward could make out his chin-length blond hair. One glowing silver eye cracked open to gaze at him – and the challenge and warning in that small look was enough to make Edward shiver with fear.

The two remained lip-locked for a few long moments before the man that was holding Edward down cleared his throat in amusement. "I'd say pull back for air, Jas, but..." he trailed off with a snicker.

The couple finally pulled apart and the man the other one had called Jas looked over Bella's shoulder and sneered at him. "Just making sure he knows she's mine."

Bella reached up to cup his cheek. "All yours, Jasper," she purred.

"Who are you people?" he stuttered out.

The woman holding him down barked out a laugh. "People he says. Those are some mad deducting skills, Sherlock."

"Don't tease the poor vampire, Char," Bella chided softly as she walked over to him.

Edward's head reeled back when the word vampire casually passed her lips – no human had ever simply guessed what he was. "But you're human," he insisted. "I can hear your heartbeat."

She crouched down beside him. "Am I?" she asked sweetly as her eyes bled silver and her heart beat slowed to a sluggish crawl before disappearing completely. "Handy little trick, ain't it?" she laughed. She lightly traced the features of his face – shooting an exasperated glare when the man behind her snarled softly and hummed. "Look at you pretty boy," she mocked, "drawing people in with your vampire glamour. Well, I suppose you could say this –"

The lighter flicked again, lighting up her closely huddled companions and Edward could see that, where once were silver irises, were now one green and two sets of blue and three matching heartbeats. The flame was once again blown out by the dark haired man – blue eyes glinting mockingly – and the heartbeats vanished just as quickly as the light.

" – is ours. Gotta attract vampires somehow. They're more likely to let their guards down when they hear blood pumping through our veins. What could a poor, helpless little human possibly do to a big, bad vampire?" She chuckled.

"What are you?" he whispered.

Her smile became dark and dangerous. "I guess you could say we're a special kind of vampire." She stuck her finger in the seeping crack on his face and brought the digit up to swipe softly with her tongue. "One's that have acquired a taste for venom." She stuck her finger completely in her mouth and sucked softly on it. "Mmm... you animal drinkers always taste so good, pity there's not more of you."

He laughed uneasily muttering, "This is a joke," to himself as he desperately began scanning the alley and hoping that Emmett would pop out from some hidden spot and begin laughing.

Her face became almost solemn. "I can assure you, it's not."

"This is not possible." His maker Carlisle was a veritable scholar of all vampire lore and he had never, ever mentioned... "Cannibals? Please tell me this is a joke," he repeated shrilly as he attempted to squirm away from the feet that still held him down.

Edward howled when the black-haired male increased the pressure – cracking one of his ribs in the process. "That would mean we eat our own kind and we are nothing like you sparkly bastards," he hissed.

Bella patted his boot and tutted softly at Edward. "Peter really doesn't like that word, none of us do." She sighed. "I suppose it's my fault for using the word vampire to describe us, when really, there is no real name for us." She grinned. "Like I said, we're special. But," she clapped her hands, the sound echoing in the quiet alley, "enough chit chat, I'm positively famished." She looked up at the black-haired male beside her. "Since he insulted you so badly, Peter, I'm gonna let you have the first bite."

"With pleasure," he growled.

Edward's struggles began anew. "You can't do this... this can't possibly be happening!" he shrieked.

The male named Peter was suddenly nose to nose with him. "How does it feel, vampire," he murmured darkly, "to be the prey for once?" He clamped his hand tightly over Edward's mouth and dove for his neck.


Jasper glared down disinterestedly at Edward's jerking body as Peter fed. "Doesn't look like we'll get much out of him," he complained, kicking at his leg. "He's pretty scrawny, isn't he?"

"Ah, that's the best part love," Bella purred. "He's got a coven at home on the outskirts of town."

A/N2: I kinda considered this to be a companion piece to 'Bet You Didn't See That Coming'. Not a sequel or even in the same universe mind you, but more along the lines of the vampires I dislike getting their just desserts... I should deem this the 'Comeuppance Series'... hmm...

I tried to think up a name to classify Bella and her bunch, but kinda came up empty. I played around with google and found that a vampire that fed on it's own kind is considered a 'Rogue' but, in my head - while they may have vampire attributes - they're not vampires.

Lemme know if anything comes to mind for you. I'd love to here any theories.