Take This Darkness from My Soul
Disclaimer: Just playing with Joss's toys for fun, not money.
A/N This chapter rated M.
Coulson stood at Skye's bedroom door. Sighing, he peeled the yellow sticker off and took stock of his thoughts and feelings. The feelings were oh, hell yes without reserve, but of course, the thoughts held him back as usual. He actually couldn't remember a time in his life that he had acted on feelings without regard to all the consequences his brain threw at him. He was exceptionally good at talking himself out of anything that might provide comfort. His past had taught him that comfort was fleeting, and that to have any sort of stability in life one must eschew comfort and embrace logical thought. He began to tick off the logic in his head. One, I'm a lot older than her. Two, she's still somewhat under my command. Three, perhaps the biggest obstacle, I'm supposed to be leading these people, not flaunting my sexual exploits in front of them.
For once, instead of stopping right then and there and walking off, Coulson remained where he was, head full of more thoughts. He remembered his outburst outside just a few hours ago. The looks on his team's faces were very clear. They thought he'd lost his marbles. He actually stood remembering his psyche classes at the academy. Wasn't there something about the very human need for physical and emotional support to make one stable? Did he lose it out there because for over a year he hadn't had any of that support? Sometimes he felt like his brain had turned on him. When he woke from horrible nightmares, when he felt so disconnected from the others, when he couldn't trust himself. He did desperately want someone to talk things out with, to not always have to be alone when making the hard choices. He looked down at his hand on the doorknob and was amazed to be able to focus on the flesh itself. Instead of just an object used to complete a task, he let himself see the skin and hair and he flexed his fingers to feel the movement. This is what makes me a human, he thought to himself. And even though touch was not something he experienced much in his life, he realized at that moment that he needed it. It made him feel good. It made him feel human. Squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath, he let himself into Skye's bedroom.
"Skye?" He whispered because it was pretty dark and he didn't want to wake her. She was definitely not asleep. She stepped from behind a dresser and he gasped. She was very, very naked!
"Like what you see?" She teased as she approached him, stopping a few feet away. Coulson had unconsciously flattened himself against the door.
"I…. well, I thought we were going to talk." He squeaked, and she laughed. She took a big step forward and began to take his tie off. Smiling, she assured him that they would talk later. He was so astounded at her boldness that he let her unbutton and remove his shirt. He felt a twinge of regret as she stepped away and looked him over.
"I know, it's really ugly." He mumbled. "There's one on the back too." She frowned and he felt the need to explain. "Just giving you full disclosure. You've got a right to know my accident history after all… you know, since you wanted to see what's under the hood."
Skye ran her hands up and down on his upper arms. "Where did you get these?" She asked about the muscles that had been hidden under his shirt. "I've never seen you work out."
He grinned shyly. "I guess they are after market." She smiled and then his world went haywire when she finished undressing him. Her hands seemed to be everywhere at once and he just let himself drown in her lazy caresses. Thoughts left his head and were replaced by feelings. He made the effort to return the favors, but she would have none of it. She truly meant for this to be his time.
Moving them to the bed, she had him lay down and straddled his hips. He hadn't had sex in so long he was afraid that once she touched him it would be all over. But, Skye was patient and she kissed and rubbed and nipped at him until he thought he would explode. He felt her reach down and position him as she slowly lowered herself onto his shaft. Coulson felt that if there was a heaven then this would be it. He started to raise his hands to cup her breasts but she stopped him.
"Baby, I'm so close." She stammered out. His eyes fell shut as he let himself experience the feeling of her wrapped so intimately around him. He reached down between them and began to expertly thumb her, pushing up into her as she writhed in pleasure. When they both came, he just let himself feel his body, her body, and where they were joined. It was intense and calming at the same time. The buildup and release each as pleasurable as the other. They lay panting side by side until they fell asleep enjoying the softness of skin against skin.
The others looked up when Coulson and Skye came to the cafeteria for breakfast. Fitz watched in amusement as Coulson, who hadn't been eating much lately, filled his plate to overflowing with eggs, hash browns and bacon. He also got a large glass of orange juice.
"Nice to see your appetite back." May said dryly. She even had a knowing smile on her face. Coulson turned bright red and Skye felt sorry for him. He would be the one to get all the teasing in this relationship because of his age and, well, stereotypes. He still dug into his food with gusto, and she was relieved.
Koenig, who was oblivious to the situation, spoke up. "We've got to get your team vetted today, Agent Coulson."
"Vedded?" Coulson said around a mouthful of potatoes. Koenig nodded. "Fury left me with a state-of-the-art lie detector, and I can use it to make sure there are no Hydra spies on your team."
"Hydra spies?" Said Ward, who had come in sometime during the night and had joined them at breakfast. "We've been together a long time. I can assure you no one here is Hydra."
Even as they heard his words, the team couldn't help but look around the table at each other.
"Fury's orders." Said Koenig firmly. "Everyone except Agent Coulson."
Coulson felt lucky that he had finished most of his food before this part of the conversation. His appetite disappeared as he remembered his fight with May. She had told him that Fury was not the one who had replaced his memories, and now he shivered inwardly as he realized once again that he didn't know if he could trust himself.
"I want to be put in the lie detector." He said firmly, despite the pointed look from May. Koenig gave him a surprised look.
"Fury trusts you. There's no need."
"I have a need." Coulson said enigmatically as he looked around at the surprised group.
"Phil…" May started, but he gave her a soft look to let her know he wasn't still angry.
"I just….. need to know, May." He explained and she knew then that it had to happen.
Koenig shrugged. "Okay, then. Follow me." He led the group down the hall to another room. A large black chair dominated it. Koenig pointed to it. "Just sit in the chair Agent Coulson, and put on the headphone section." Coulson did as he was asked and settled into the chair as he felt the slight vibrations of electrical energy through the seat and back. Koenig cleared his throat.
"State your name and rank."
"Phillip Coulson, Agent of Shield." Coulson replied. The chair continued to vibrate. Koenig looked a little puzzled where he stood watching the results on a hidden screen, but he continued.
"Do you now, or have you ever worked for an agency called Hydra?" The team knew their leader well enough to be confident about his allegiance, but they were surprised when he turned pale and swallowed at the question.
"No, I have never worked for Hydra." Phil said clearly.
At this point, Koenig let out a mumbled whistle. The others fixed their gazes on him.
"It's just never done this before." He said as he moved the screen so that others could see it. The words on the screen were stark in their appearance and astonishing in their meaning. On the screen were the words:
SUBJECT CANNOT BE READ. UNEXPLAINED INTERFERENCE PRESENT.