How Harry met a dementor...
"...which is why Hogwarts will house the wardens of Azkaban for some time. I must warn you that those creatures..."
Harry stopped listening when all around him people gasped in shock.
"What? What is it?", he demanded to know.
"The wardens of Azkabans! The dementors! He's got to be kidding!", Susan Bones exclaimed.
"What's a dementor?", Harry asked impatiently.
"Oh, that's right, you weren't on the train", Susan said. Harry had been traveling other magical countries, gaining more devotees during the summer and had almost missed the first September. Only in the last minute had he opened a portal to the school.
"Dementors are dark creatures that feed off your happy memories so only the worst remain."
That... sounded vaguely familiar.
"They look like black cloaked figures and it's said that they can suck out a persons soul!"
Something like a light bulb was showing over Harrys head.
"Wait and you say... those creatures protect the prison Azkaban?"
"That's right. Nobody ever escaped from there. That's why everyone says this Sirius Black guy has to be really dangerous."
Harry felt like banging his head on the counter top. Hard. And multiple times. Could it be this easy? Could the answer to his long search have been in front of his very eyes the whole time?
"Where did he say the dementors are?"
"He said they're patrolling the grounds – but, holy boss-"
Of course Harry didn't listen anymore. He was already on his way out of the great hall, leaving quite an irritated headmaster behind.
"Master, it might not be such a good idea to approach the henchmen on your own", Razoul whispered from the ground. "You're not immune to their effect..."
That was right. Harry remembered vividly his first and only encounter with one of Death's henchmen. At that time his father had thought about giving him one as a pet. He had only been six but he had passed out very quickly even though the dementor had not even tried to attack him.
But Harry wasn't listening. Finding his henchmen had been the only mission his father ever gave him and until that day he still hadn't been able to complete it. He had been so stupid, so blind...
"Oh, I will tell them one for abandoning my father!", Harry said in a rage. His body slowly began to glow almost on its own account. "They will be so sorry!"
"Maybe if you would just let me do the talking?", Razoul offered. Even he was a little bit scared, seeing his master in such a rage.
"Oh no! I have to do this myself!", Harry insisted. His determined strides took him right out on the grounds. Soon the air was freezing. Harry began to shiver as green light flashed through his vision but he kept on walking. Faintly he could make out a dark figure in the distance. The boy concentrated on his spiritual energy, on making the thing recognize him as superior – but it was so cold and his mother was screaming in the back of his head and... and suddenly everything went dark.
Harry woke up twenty minutes later in the hospital wing surrounded by his worried devotees.
"Wha – What's happened?", he muttered and everybody jumped.
"You just run out onto the grounds and passed out", Hermione said with a worried frown. "Are you alright?"
"Hrmpf", he made and sat up. "Those damn henchmen... I'm gonna show them!"
"Boss", Razoul whispered from where he was hiding in his shadow as usual, "maybe it would be wiser-"
"This time I'll get them for sure!"
But nobody, not even the school nurse coming and threatening to bind him to his bed if he didn't have some chocolate right now could stop him. Harry just jumped out of his bed and went down to try his luck again.
This time around he managed ten steps in the direction of Hagrids hut before he collapsed.
His devotees tried their best to get him to reason but he wouldn't listen. Five more times he went out but never came anywhere close to talking with the creatures.
"That's not fair!", the boy fumed as he sat on his bed in the hospital wing, his legs feeling like jelly under the heavy weight of Grim who wouldn't let him up.
"Life is not fair", Professor Lupin, the new defense teacher and the one person in the castle with the largest chocolate supply said and sighed. "Look, Mr Potter – Harry..."
Harry looked up in surprise. Few people called him that anymore, not since all the teachers were his devotees. Of course, being the new one, Lupin was an exception.
"I don't know why you insist on getting close to these dangerous creatures... But if it's that important to you, there is a charm that could help you."
"Oh? What is it?"
"It's called the patronus. It's a shield that will chase away the dementor and protect you from it."
But Harry shook his head. "I don't want to chase them away, I just want a chance to talk to them!"
Harry sighed and explained how the dementors were really supposed to work for Death and that it was his mission to punish them for slacking off.
"Punishing the dementors", Lupin muttered, sounding incredulous and tired at the same time.
"I have to build some sort of resistance", Harry muttered, "a way to get close to them without a patronus."
Grim let out a happy bark and wagged his tail.
"Of course, that's right! The henchmen are human hunters. They're not used to sucking in animal emotions. If I could somehow transform myself into an animal..."
"You can't talk as an animal", Lupin reminded him.
"Oh, I don't need to. Henchmen don't really talk, you know. They communicate by sucking out all memories you have except the one they want you to see. For example if they say 'yes' they will suck you empty of all your memories except for a single one of a conservation you had someday where you said or heard the word 'yes'. For the most part that means they communicate via images and feelings. All I have to do is to concentrate hard on my memory of Death, how pissed he is at them and that he wants them to come back. My emotions will be dimmed for them but if I'm angry enough it should suffice to make them curious and take a look at my mind."
"But Harry, you're talking about becoming an animagus... and in less then a year too, at age thirteen! That's just not possible."
From behind them a snort could be heard from Madam Pomfrey.
"You do know who that is, don't you?", she asked with a stern frown. "I wouldn't be surprised if the holy boss showed up with half a dozen animagus forms in a week or two."
Harry just grinned.
Madam Pomfrey was of course right. Harry went to McGonogall for some training consisting of meditation (which was easy since he had practice with Grim) and drinking a simple potion. His magic did the rest and voila, after four days he was able to transform into a... brown bear. A brown bear pup to be exact.
Well, he thought to himself, that was not exactly what he had anticipated... but it would suffice.
Now Harry the pup wandered off together with Razoul, Grim and Lupin, who had insisted on coming along should he collapse again. He did indeed get reasonably close this time around. He was able to rely his thoughts to the nearest dementor and by connecting his mind with grim, who, as a purely spiritual creature, was able to get a feel for the dementors own emotions even if it didn't make an effort to rely them he was able to hold a somewhat real conversation that went in a way like so:
"Hey, you giant rag doll of a walking corpse! Here comes the god of destiny, the son of Death and I have a message for you: Your boss is seriously pissed at you!"
"That's right, I'm talking about Death!"
"But you're... a bear."
"I'm undercover, alright? Now don't change the subject! Why did you abandon your posts?"
"You're supposed to hunt immortals if I remember correctly!"
"Well, yes, you know, the humans are quite capable of taking care of their own immortals. They usually end up with us in the prison or we're directed to them to take their souls. So really we are not disobeying orders!"
"Well, the boss certainly doesn't see it that way."
"We were just doing as the generals told us!"
"Who exactly are you talking about?"
"Well, you see... Wait, isn't that General Razoul over there?"
"Yeah, he's my servant."
"I told you I'm the god of destiny! He's part of my godly gear!"
"Alright now who are your generals and where are they?"
The dementor called out a few names that Harry made not of. "They went to the south to Italy, Spain, Egypt, Mexico, Brasil..."
"Wait, are you seriously saying that they're off to the tropics, sunbathing, while my father has to work overtimes to make up for their laziness!?"
Harry had heard of course that the generals (lethifolds, the magicals called them) were to be found in the tropics but seriously?
"Why are you even listening to them? Why waste away at Azkaban!?"
"Well, they have nice working hours and free food and lodging..."
"I can't believe this! Listen, you will report back to my dad immediately and take as many of your comrades with you as you can! Your vacation if now officially over."
The dementor actually ducked its head. "Yes Sir."
"Don't even try to get away! I know where you live. My Dad has a new pet that can kill people with its gaze. For a half spiritual creature like you it would probably turn you into stone. Then you can serve Azkaban as a very ugly statue on the wall. Do you understand!?"
"Yes Sir!", with a bit more energy this time.
"Then out of me sight you go."
"Uh...and the prisoner?"
"The one we're supposed to catch..."
"Are you putting the commands of the minister of magic over mine!?"
"O-Of course not, my lord."
"That's the holy boss for you. Now why are you still here?"
The dementor ran away (more like gliding but oh well) as fast as it could and Harry let out a satisfied huff.
The next day there was an article in the newspaper that spoke of a massive breakout in Azkaban because apparently all the wardens had vanished...
This story was totally supposed to be finished but recently I got a PM reminding me that I still haven't written the long epected dementor scene. I reread my fanfic and found it funny, got into the flow again and here you are, another bonus chapter.