(Blackout. Stage lights fully. Ros and Guil stand at center stage, looking around unsurely. Sounds of townspeople can be heard: dogs bark, venders haggling prices, children laughing, etc.)

Ros: Are we –

Guil: This must be –

Ros: - not on a boat.

Guil: - land.

They look around.

Ros: Perhaps we should –

He trails off, walking downstage.

Guil: What is it?

Ros: What is what?

Guil: What are you looking at?

Ros: Nothing.

Guil: What do you mean 'nothing?'

Ros: I can't see anything.

Guil: Then why are you looking?

Ros: I forget.

He walks back to Guil. They stare at the audience for a bit.

Guil: Shall we, then?

Ros: Shall we what?

Guil: We have to deliver a letter to the king.

Ros: Immediately.

Guil: Shall we?

Ros: Repetition!

Guil: (frustrated) Not now!

Ros looks around.

Ros: I don't see the king. Do we ask for directions?

Guil: I suppose…

Guil looks around. The noises have faded out by now.

Guil: I don't see anything.

Ros: That's what I've been saying! Ask someone where everyone is.

Guil: There's no one to ask!

Ros looks around frantically this time.

Ros: Well, where did they go?

Guil: (frustrated) How should I know?

Perhaps we should go look for someone.

Ros: Right. I'll go this way, you go that way.

Guil: Alright.

(Guil walks right upstage, Ros walks left downstage. Ros pauses, walks back to the center.)

Ros: No, I'll go that way. You go this way.

Guil: Alright.

They switch directions.

Guil pauses, walks back to the center.

Guil: But what if someone comes here and we are out there?

Ros: Good point.

Guil: We better stay put.

Ros: Together.

They look around expectantly, but no one comes. Ros sits on the ground, huffing impatiently. Guil paces.

Ros: Do you think they will come?

Guil: Who?

Ros: Anyone.

Guil: Why would anyone come? No one knows we are here. We are strangers in an alien country.

Guil sighs and sits by Ros. Ros tilts his head.

Ros: I say –

Guil: We are bound to sit and wait until our bodies rot and wither. No one will find us, because no one is looking.

Ros: Don't you hear –

Guil: And yet, we can't leave, because we have nowhere to go!

Ros: Music, I swear.

Ros gets up and wanders about, searching for the source of the music.

Guil: So we are cursed to death by waiting.

Trumpets sound, and the English King enters, marked by his gold crown, surrounded by four soldiers.

First Soldier: Halt!

Procession halts.

First Soldier: Who goes there? What business do you have here?

Guil scrambles to his feet as Ros bows. Guil bows as Ros stands back up. Ros sees Guil bowing, and bows again. Guil straightens, and Ros hastily follows.

English King: Well?

Guil and Ros look at each other.

Ros: We don't know where it is.

English King: Where what is?

Ros: The well.

Soldiers and King exchange confused looks.

First Soldier: What?

Ros: Pardon?

English King: For what?

Guil: Sorry?

English King: Why?

Ros: What?

English King: (frustrated) Why are you sorry?

Guil: We aren't.

Ros: Nope.

First Soldier: Who are you?

Ros: I'm Guildenstern –

Guil bows, freezes half-way down, and elbows Ros.

Ros: Er, he's Guildenstern, I'm Rosencrantz.

English King: Never heard of you.

Ros: We are nobody special –

English King: Obviously.

Guil: - We have a letter.

English King: What for?

Guil: For you.

English King: Why?

Ros: We were bringing Prince Hamlet of Denmark to you –

English King: And where is he?

Guil: (angrily) If you would let us finish – (Humble.) He got kidnapped by pirates.

English King: Well, you didn't do a very good job of bringing him, did you?

Ros: I suppose not.

English King: Well, what about that letter?

Ros: Right! Pats down pockets.

Guil produces the letter. English King starts to read it.

First Soldier: What does it say?

Ros: Oh, greetings –

Guil: - salutations –

Ros: - praise –

Guil: - I'm sure.

Ros: Probably.

English King: "-on the knowing of this contents, without delay of any kind, should those bearers, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern, put to sudden death –"

Ros: Death?!

Guil: Without delay?

First Soldier: Alright.

Pulls out a sword.

Ros: Rosencrantz –

Guil: Guildenstern –

Ros: Guildenstern –

Guil: Rosencrantz –

Ros: The letter –

Guil: - death –

English King: Immediately.

First Soldier: Last words?

Guil: Death is so final, so absolute –

Ros: - I don't understand.

Ros breaks into tears. Guil comforts him.

Guil: Nothing can be understood in this world. Maybe that was the point.

They are forced to their knees.

First Soldier: Stop crying.

Ros: I understood you.

Guil: I didn't understand you.

Ros is stabbed in the stomach, and then Guil. They fall to the ground in the same positions as the Tragedian's Spies. Blackout.

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