I had been shot. And I was floating in and out of consciousness the entire way to the same place they were keeping Uriah. I kept hearing commands and bright lights when my eyes would open. They were too bright. So I closed them. I had seen my mother. I was ready to die. I had come to terms with how my life was going to end. I was going to go the same way my mother and father did. I had sacrificed myself to save my brother. I had sacrificed myself to save my friends and family that were still inside of the city.
Like Christina who had gone with the others to inoculate her mother and sister to save them from the Memory serum in the case that I failed. And I failed. Didn't I? I failed everyone. I failed him. At least…before I went into the room, I told Caleb what to say. That I didn't want to leave him. Because I didn't. It was the hardest decision I had ever made in my life. Harder than leaving him in the middle of the night to go to the Erudite headquarters and sacrifice myself to save everyone else.
Life is full of little choices. And those choices affect everyone around you, whether or not you know them personally. Ever since the day I let my blood fall into the Dauntless bowl at the Choosing Ceremony, my choice there sent motion to everything that has led me to this moment. To my death.
I don't know much longer I can hold on. I'm so tired. I'm so…
It's quiet here. No, not quiet. There's a beeping somewhere. Is it next to my head? I fight to open my eyes, but my lids are incredibly heavy. Death shouldn't be so uncomfortable, right? I try to say something, anything, but my mouth is so dry and there's a lump in my throat that I can't seem to swallow past. I turn my head as much as I can and my heart jumps in my chest. I hear the beeps react with me. My heart still works…I guess that means I didn't die.
Tobias' head is angled back against the uncomfortable chair he's sleeping in. I know it's uncomfortable because I sat in that chair when we went to see Uriah. I can't imagine sleeping in it. And it looks like he hadn't been doing much of that. There are dark circles under his eyes. I don't know how long I have been here, but I'm sure the second they got back…he's probably angry with me. But did he expect anything else of me? I couldn't just let Caleb die. As angry as I was with him, I couldn't let him sacrifice himself. He was my brother.
I didn't think that I would see Tobias ever again. That my last goodbye was watching him head back to the city we had spent so long trying to escape. And there he was…less than three feet away from me and I can't even reach him. I don't even notice that I have started crying until I hear the sob escape past the lump in my throat.
He jerks up in the chair and he looks at me. Our eyes lock, but I partially believe that this is a dream because he can't really be sitting there, can he? But then he moves to me, so quickly that I don't have time to react, and his head is resting gently on my stomach, his hands enclosing my own. I see his shoulders rise and fall and I don't realize he's crying until he lifts his head and looks at me.
"Hey," I say weakly, offering a lame smile. A smile that I know will do no good considering my current situation. And when he smiles at me, I think that I am off the hook, but I know better.
"Hey?" He asks, with a soft smile of his own. Even though he's mad at me, I have a feeling that the relief that I've opened my eyes outweighs everything else.
I bite my lower lip and then remember that my mouth is dry. "Can I have-"
He doesn't give me a chance to finish; he's pulling away from me to grab the water on the table next to the bed. He puts it to my lips and I swallow eagerly. It helps…it really helps.
"Better?" he asks, setting the water down. I nod. "So…"
I interrupt him. "How long was I out?"
He narrows his eyes at me, but answers my question anyway. "Nearly a week." I wince. I can't imagine being in his position. I've put him in situations where he's almost lost me, more times than I care to admit. I look away from him.
"I'm sorry," I tell him. Because I don't know what else to say. "I didn't have a choice. I couldn't just let Caleb die."
This makes me look at him. I was expecting a reprimand or something from him, telling me that I should have stuck to the plan. I should have waited. But we both knew that there was no time to wait. No time to figure something else out. His hands are in mine again, and I welcome the warmth. He looks at me for a moment before he leans down, pressing his mouth to mine. I kiss him back and sigh when he pulls away. I didn't think I would get a chance to do that again. And the tears are back. He lifts one hand to wipe his thumb across my cheek and I smile at him. I move to scoot over in the bed, to make room for him, so that he's not uncomfortable in the chair, but his hand is on my waist, stopping me.
"Lay down, Tobias," I tell him as sternly as I can. But there's not much you can do when you've been out for a week and probably look like death warmed over.
"I'm fine," he says, shaking his head.
I narrow my eyes at him. "This isn't me being selfless right now," I tell him. "I'm being selfish. I need you to lay down with me."
His eyes soften when he looks at me and stands, picking me up before getting on the bed and setting me down so that our bodies are parallel to each other. His body is warm against mine and I look up at him, my eyes settling in on his face. He's looking down at me presses his lips to my head.
"What happened with everyone?" I ask him, but he shakes his head. "Did it not work? Did they release the serum?"
He shakes his head and rubs my back. "No. It's fine. Everything's fine," he says. "We can talk about it later."
"I just got you back, Tris," he tells me. "Let me just lay here with you for a few more hours before you interrogate me, okay?"
His tone is joking, but I know he's being serious. I won't fight him on this. I like the quiet, steady heartbeat that I hear with my head resting against his chest. I close my eyes, letting it lull to me sleep.
A/N: Okay. So it's probably shit. But I like it. And it's Fourtris. So let me just be happy and share this with you guys. Let me know if you want me to do it like Allegiant and switch off POV. I can ATTEMPT to pull it off, but don't know how awesome it will be.