I am nervous as we drive to the hospital. I have that tingling feeling in the pit of my stomach where I don't know what to do to make it so away. It's not really unpleasant, it just makes me fee nauseous. That sensation in addition to the fact that I'm already not feeling well, ,isn't really the best combination. Tobias reaches over the center console of the truck to take my hand and when he squeezes it, I turn to look at him.
"You okay?" he asks, his thumb brushing against my hand.
I nod and lean back against the headrest and bite my lip. "Yeah," I say. "Just a little nervous."
"It's going to be fine, Tris," he tells me. "We'll go in and they'll tell us everything that we need to do."
"I know," I say. "I just..." I stop and take a breath. "I was just shot a few weeks ago. What if something didn't heal right and something goes wrong?"
He pulls to the side of the road and turns to look at me. Luckily not many people are driving cars so we don't have to worry about getting into an accident. "The doctors at the Bureau made sure everything was fine before releasing you. If they thought there'd be any complications I'm sure they'd let you know."
I nod. "Okay, you're right."
"I know I'm right," he says with a smile, leaning over to press a kiss to my cheek. "Are you good to go?"
He's looking at me with those intense eyes of his and I nod, because still after all this time he leaves me a little breathless, and nodding is all I can do. I smile and he smiles back and then he starts driving again. We reach Erudite Headquarters in no time at all and once I get out of the car, I have that feeling again. But that might be due more to the fact that one of the last times I was here, I was almost killed by Jeanine. But I should stop worrying about that. She's gone and I don't have to look over my shouldn't thinking that she's going to kill me again. But there is someone else that I have to worry about. Tobias Tobns the door for me, but I stop just outside and look at him.
Tobias stops and looks at me, his eyebrows coming together on his head. "What's up?"
"Your mom still works here, right?" I ask. "In this building?"
He shrugs. "I haven't seen her since we got back, but yeah, I'm assuming. Why?"
I let out a breath. "Because that means she's going to find out about this," I say pointing to my stomach. "And she was just getting used to the fact that we're going to be getting married. What do you think she'll have to say about us having a baby?"
He smirks and shuts the door. "You're worried about what my mother thinks?"
I nod. "Of course I'm worried about what your mother thinks!" I say. "She's family. Or going to be family. But still, family nonetheless. I just...I don't want her to think less of me."
He takes my hands and presses a kiss to each of them. "She's not going to think less of you," he tells me. "Or if she does, then forget it. This is you and me, Tris," he says with a smile. "We're going to be okay."
I shake my head to clear the negative thoughts and then I stand on my toes to press a kiss to his lips. "Okay," I tell him. He smiles and opens the door again.
After getting upstairs and heading to the hospital, Tobias and I are sitting in one of the exam rooms waiting for the doctor to come in and talk to us. I'm laying on one of the hospital beds wearing a gown while Tobias is standing next to me, his hand in mine, calming me. My thoughts are running rampant and my legs are shaking. Tobias reaches over and presses a palm to my thigh.
"Stop," he tells me, his voice soothing.
I look up at him. "I can't," I say.
He grins. "Yes you can," he tells me. The door opens. "See?" he whispers to me as a woman with brown hair comes into the room. I recognize her as Will's mother. Cara's mother. My heart pounds in my chest and Tobias squeezes my hand again. I'll be sure to tell him next time that he has nothing to worry about.
"Oh hello," she says, offering a smile to the both of us. "How are you doing today?"
I swallow. "A bit nervous, actually."
She chuckles, shaking her head. "No need to be nervous. We have the best equipment here, you should have nothing to worry about." I let out a breath and nod. She looks down at the chart in her hands. "So I see here that you two are here for an ultrasound?"
We nod. She smiles again. "Having a child is a blessing," she says. "Let's go ahead and get you looked at." She leans me back on the bed and opens the gown to reveal my stomach. She touches my scars. "What happened here?" she asks.
"I was shot," I answer. "That's why I'm nervous. I don't know if it messed with anything or if this is even possible."
She rubs a cold gel on my stomach and I glance at Tobias who has a tense look on his face. "Let's just see how things are here," she says. "And then we'll go from there."
I see Tobias' mouth twitch up and I realize that it's because he said the exact same thing to me earlier. I look back at Cara's mother and she smiles at me. "How far along do you think you are?"
I shrug. "I honestly have no idea," I tell her. "I just...I got sick thinking about food and then it just clicked that I might be pregnant."
"Let's check for sure then," she says.
She places the stick on my stomach and all three of us look at the monitor. I don't even know what I'm looking at or looking for. But then I hear it. The faintest of a heartbeat. My eyes goes wide and my breath catches in my throat, tears filling my eyes.
"Oh my god," I whisper.
Tobias makes a noise, sounding like there's something stuck in his throat and I look at him and there are tears rolling down his cheek. The heartbeat on the monitor washes away all of my doubts and fears and everything.
"Well that, is a very strong heartbeat," she says with a smile. "I'll get you set up with some vitamins that you can take during the pregnancy and then schedule a follow up appointment." She takes a towel and wipes off the gel from my belly and then tosses it into the basket. She pulls out a pad of paper and writes something down. She hands it to Tobias. "There you go, Daddy," she says with a smile. "Just go to the front desk in the waiting room and she'll get you those vitamins." He takes the paper, nodding slowly. "Go ahead and get dressed. We'll see you in a few weeks."
"Thank you so much," I tell her. There is so much that I want to say to her. That I'm sorry, I hope she can forgive me, because at some times I can barely forgive myself for what I did to her son. To my friend. But she just smiles at me and exits the room. It takes me a few moments to move.
"That heartbeat..." Tobias' words pull me from my thoughts, as they quite often do and I look at him. He is grinning at me ."We're having a baby."
I grin and grab onto his shirt to pull him down into a hug. he squeezes me tightly and I bury myself in his neck. "We are."
He pulls away and kisses me. "Guess this means we should go find a house then."
I nod. "Yes, yes we do."