Xander had boarded the windows with planks. The Potentials were training in the backyard. Andrew came wandering down the stairs. "Giles, what kind of doorknobs do witches prefer?"

Giles was afraid to ask but even more concerned that Andrew would take this to Willow next. "Doorknobs?"

"Yeah, I'm sort of afraid to touch them. I'm not sure which kinds to avoid. Do witches like those glass ones or is polished metal better? Oh, and what about the color? Is silver better than gold? Or maybe they like those long handles."

"Please tell me you haven't been reading the Malleus Maleficarum."

Andrew's eyes skittered about the room. "But it's old and the books you use are old."

"I'm going to tell you this once, Andrew. The Malleus is a load of hogwash. Witches do not … pleasure themselves with doorknobs. Demons do not have cold, er, members."

"But on Bewitched Aunt Clara collected doorknobs."

Giles pulled off his glasses and started cleaning them. "Andrew, drop it. I'm fairly certain I do not want Willow turning you into a toad."

"But let's just say for example …"

"Andrew! Stop or I will turn you into a toad myself."