Aftermath: a couple of days later...
"You know, Four-Eyes," Jakuzure began as she sidled up to Inumuta after school, "seeing as how I'm still under orders from Gamagōri to get you a girlfriend at the earliest possible opportunity... I guess I wouldn't mind going on a date or two with you that badly..."
Inumuta rolled his eyes. "I'm going to be terribly busy with repairs and preparations over the next few weeks. But I suppose I could stand to humour you once or twice, if only for variety's sake. Pick you up at seven? And do wear something that isn't pink."
"Make that seven-thirty. Hair this perfect doesn't style itself, you know. And if I have to wear one of the inferior colours, then you're wearing something with a low collar."
And with that, they parted ways, one quietly humming "Voi che sapete" from The Marriage of Figaro and the other the Ouran High School Host Club theme.
A/N: For existing readers of my work wondering why this is a thing, let's just say I've been feeling rather down lately, and writing one-shot crackfic is something I still have the emotional energy for, whereas the next chapter of "Lighting Up the Dark" is something best left for later.
For those with no musical knowledge (like me), "Voi che sapete" opens with "Ladies, you who know what love is, look to see if it is in my heart. (...) It's so new to me, I don't understand it", while the Ouran High School Host Club theme, properly known as "Sakura Kiss", opens with "Before I know it, you're always by my side. But is it really hate? Love? Or just delusion?"