"Ah Kissed Him Once"
Chapter 4: The door is always open.
Fic Note: This is set after "Stuff Of Villains" and before "Self Possessed".
Author Note: Its been awhile, but here it is! And sadly, it is the last chapter. And perfect timing!
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the story.
Ah enjoy the outdoors. Especially when Ah know Ah should be inside. It was lunch period, but Ah know no one would miss me. So instead, Ah took my lunch and a good book and planted myself under a tree. Ah was on school grounds- no harm done.
It was quite nice out. The clouds were white, the sky was blue, the grass was green- everything was normal.
Normal on the outside.
Trying to think straight with about a dozen people in your head is very tiring. Trying to think when about a hundred other people are talking is simply exhausting. Evidently, being away from people helps me think.
That's all Ah seem to be doing lately.
Weeks have passed since Ah last heard from him. Ah have never really missed anyone this much before. Well, except Irene. Ah think Ah miss her so much because Ah know Ah love her and she truly loves me. Does that mean Ah love Gambit? How could Ah?
Ah have tried to compare it to what Kitty has gone through. It's hard! Lance made an effort to join the "good guys", but overall he just couldn't cut it. But he did it for Kitty- to be close to her.
Ah could never ask Gambit to change sides. And even if Ah did, would he do it? Would he even consider it? After all, he was born into a life of crime. A guy would never change his entire life for a girl, especially a girl like me.
Argh! Ah don't even know why Ah am thinking about this!
"You okay, Roguey? You look kind of pissed off."
Speaking of the devil...
"What are you doing here, Alvers?"
"Hey, I'm just concerned."
"Well, be concerned somewhere else!"
"Gimme a break. I was just passing by. The last time I checked, this tree is school property," his face softened and he gave me a pleading look, "Forget we are on different sides. Talk to me like you used to. Please."
"Lance, you don't go to this school anymore. You shouldn't be here."
"Don't sweat the technicalities. Just talk to me."
He waited for me to say something else, but of course Ah didn't.
"What's the matter?"
"Ah was kind of thinkin' about you and-"
"Thinking about me with that scowl on your face? What'd I do this time?"
Ah had to laugh. He always makes me laugh no matter what. Its a blessing and a curse really. He can always tell when things are bothering me and he can make me smile, but its only temporary.
He sat down next to me, took a bite out of my untouched sandwich, and nudged my arm, "Well?"
"Ah was kind of thinkin' about the situation you and Kitty were in. You know, who was on what side. What made you want to leave the Brotherhood to be with her? Didn't you feel like you were betraying what you believed in?"
"Of course, but at the time I couldn't help myself. When it comes to women, you'll do anything for them," his face fell and he turned to me, "But in the end, what brought us together evidently broke us apart."
"Would you ever do it again?"
"I don't know. It was really hard to leave my brothers," he paused and looked away, "You should know what that's like."
"Cut the guilt trips, Lance. You know why Ah left."
"I know. Why you asking me this stuff anyway?" he draped his arm around my shoulders and whispered playfully in my ear, "You got a thing for me?"
Ah really should have pushed him away or punched him in the face or something, but the closeness of someone Ah trusted was really what Ah needed at the time. Yes- Ah trust Lance! He has his moments.
"Ah am being serious, Lance. Ah'm tryin' to see this from all perspectives. Ah think Ah may be in trouble and Ah wanna get myself out of it before Ah get too deep."
"Anything I can help you with?"
He smiled that bittersweet smile. You know the one- the smile that can't hide the pain.
"Well, you know where I am," he took his arm back and stood up, "I'm out of here. I think Summers is spying. Smell ya later!"
Summers- He's the last person Ah wanna to talk to right now. Ah could either take off and skip 5th period, or Ah could listen to his bullshit.
Hell, Ah have study hall after lunch- Ah'll deal with Scott later.
Whenever Ah wanted to be alone, Ah would visit my usual spot under the bleachers. Once Risty came along, Ah spent my alone time with her. It may sound strange, but she was the only one Ah trusted besides myself. Now she is gone and Ah don't have anyone to trust but me.
Sometimes Ah don't think Ah can trust myself that much. Sounds kinda harsh, but Ah need to be. Ah have so many personalities in my head that it's hard to decipher who Ah am and who someone else is. When all the cards are down on the table, no one likes the possibility of being alone for the rest of their lives- even the people in my head. So, if someone is willing to touch me, to like me, even love me- Ah'll most likely take the plunge and go with it.
Bon jour, chère."
Just the man Ah didn't want to see. Problem was, Ah couldn't see him. Ah could feel him. He was towering over me, behind my back. He had a rose in hand and that rose began making a trail up from my chest to my temple. It didn't died It was fake- brownie points.
"How'd you know Ah was here?"
"Remy had a hunch."
"Just a hunch?"
"A hunch- an' Remy was watchin' you."
Ah stood up and slowly turned around. Ah couldn't look him in the eye, so Ah looked at his chest. Hey- it's eye level for me!
Good for you. Ah think Ah'll be going, as Ah turned to leave, he dropped the rose to the ground and grabbed my arm with his gloved hand, turned me around and let go.
Wait, Rogue, Ah tried to get around him, but he grabbed me again and held on this time, Remy came all dis way to see you.
And Ah waited all this time to see you!
D'en why leave so soon?
Ah let out a sigh, Ah've reached my limit. Ah can't sit around and just let you have the ball in your court all the time-
He began to speak and Ah stopped him.
And Ah missed you.
His face softened and he stepped a little closer.
Ah put my finger up to his lips and let it sit there longer than normal. Ah expected him to protest a little or move his head away, but he didn't. He did what only a crazy person would do... He took the tip of my glove into his mouth, bit on the excess and started to pull the article off of my hand. He surprised me and Ah made the mistake of yanking my entire arm away. Can you picture Gambit with a glove between his teeth?
Are you crazy?
He spit it out,
Don't pull that Ah'm crazy for you' bullshit.
Okay, den Remy is just crazy.
Ah never doubted that for a minute.
Come o' here, he said with a smugness Ah can't stand.
Being the weak person that Ah am, Ah joined him. He held me close, but it was not close enough. Ah needed the warmth, so Ah took a chance and closed the space between us. Ah was about to touch his hair, but he pulled my remaining gloved hand up to his face and ran my palm down his cheek. Then slowly, one by one, he pulled each finger out of their snug positions and threw my other glove to the ground.
You givin' me permission to drain you if Ah have to?
And what would Remy do tah deser' dat?
Lots of thing.
What kind o' t'ings?
Lots. Ah don't know if you've realize this or not, but you are not on my favorite person's list.
By da sound o' yah heart beat, Remy would beg tah differ.
He caught me there and Ah didn't realize how right he was. There was no getting around it. Ah love the way he makes me feel, but Ah hate who he is. He is everything Irene told me to stay away from. He is everything Logan told me to stay away from. He is everything Ah told myself to stay away from. Not just because he's the enemy, but because he's a sweet talker that knows how to get exactly what he wants.
The way you make me feel and the way Ah feel about you are two different things.
He leaned his mouth close to my ear. The tiny hairs stood at attention and i swear i felt his lips brush against them. When he started to speak it caused miniscule electrical shocks to make their way up and down my body.
Jus' concentrate on how Remy's makin' you feel.
Ah was doin' just that! Ah felt his arms tighten around my waist as his left hand went under the back on my shirt. Ah let out a small moan and closed my eyes as he brought his free hand up to my jaw, tracing the shape and letting it linger there for a little while longer before making a trail down my neck, past my choker and over my shoulders- he stopped.
Trust me, he whispered.
Ah opened my eyes just a little, Ah trust you.
He smiled and fell to his knees in front of me.
Ya' said ya' trusted me, he said with out looking up.
Ah knelt down infront of him and sat on my heels. Ah couldn't stand to look at him. Ah focused on my naked hands and my beating heart. From that Ah determined that my hands were naked and my heart was beating. Now what?
He ran his hand through my hair- slow and steady.
When dis whole t'ing started, Remy was tellin' imself dat he just was in it for dah challenge. Dat was my plan, but it back fired. For dis thieve's heart was stolen by da enemy. You see-
Ah don't like that word- enemy.
For now chère, dat's all Remy can be.
My eyes shot open and Ah backed up a bit,
Yeah, why? Why do you have to be the enemy?
Dat's where my place is right now.
Do you really believe in the same things Magneto does?
He paused and looked over my head, avoiding my eyes,
As much as Remy wants to leave, he can't. He made a deal-
Yeah, a deal with the devil.
For some reason unknown to me, that upset him. He roughly grabbed both of my arms and forced my gaze upon his eyes, He may be da' devil, but dis devil got me outta N'awlins!
What's so bad about New Orleans that made you team up with that guy?
When you fall in wit' dah' Guild, da' only way of gettin' out is leavin' in a body bag or leavin' on a plane. Dah' body bags in N'awlins wouldn't match Remy's complexion so he chose Magneto.
You couldn't just leave on your own?
Didn't know where to go. Didn't know bout da X-Men.
So you feel that you owe him somethin' now? What would he do if you left?
He smirked and lightly tapped on my temple.
Dat old man is in dat head o' yours. You know what he's capable of.
Ah paused for a moment to gather my thought and the thoughts of Magneto, You're right. He's not a man that will let you go that easily.
Don't worry, chère. Dah' right opportunity will come
Ah dunno if it's him or me, but, Ah pause for a bit and touch his hair, Ah'm not gonna let you go that easily either.
He gently took my naked hands in his and squeezed them tenderly. His features softened and he closed his eyes with a subtle, yet delighted smile on his face. He seemed very touched with what Ah said- flattered even. Either way, Ah have never seen anyone look at me like that before. Ah melted.
Nore do I, chère.
When he said those four words, the realization that this was real hit me like a ton of bricks. This wasn't a memory of someone else. This wasn't a TV drama. This wasn't a story told by Kitty or Jean. It was a situation Ah had to deal with in my own life. Here Ah was under the bleachers with a guy who is probably the only man capable and willin' to love me.
But you do realize this is wrong?
He opened one eyes and shook his head,
You and Ah-
He released my hands and cupped my face,
No Remy. The obvious differences between us are gonna break us apart.
Why don't you believe dat evert'ing is gonna be okay? Dat everyt'ing is gonna work out?
It never does when you are on different sides.
Like Remy says. One day.
Ah know, Ah smiled at his defeated face, And you know the door is always open.
Ah carefully took his hands away from my face and stood up slowly.
Does dat mean da door to y'ah heart is open, too?
Ah smiled and winked.
Ah expected him to get up. He didn't. He just stayed there on his knees with a pleading look on his face.
Ah had to laugh.
Ah offered him my hands. He looked at it for a second and took it, Never thought Ah'd reduce Gambit to pleading on his knees.
He smiled and dusted off his pants, Pleading? Very funny, Rogue.
Ah decided to push a few more buttons, Wait til Ah tell Logan!
Oh no you don't, chère! he smiled and playfully lunged at me, grabbed me around the waist, picked me up. He easily slung me over his shoulder and tightened his hold around the back of my thighs, You won't be tellin' dat overgrown hairball about
And why not?
He gently placed my infront of him and brushed the hair away from my face and studied my eyes.
Well? Why can't Ah tell Logan?
'Cause if Remy be joinin' dah X-Men, he embraced me once more, He can't let dem know a girl ad im on his knees. Dey'd never take im seriously.
Ah don't think Ah've smiled that wide in a long time, So, you really comin'?
Ah flung my arms tightly around his neck and kissed the fabric that covered his neck,
Ah felt him smile into my hair, inhale and squeeze a little tighter, Remy's gonna miss
Ah pushed myself back a little. He seemed content and calm, Me too.
We are gonna have tah start dis all over gain when Remy be joinin' you?
You know we do.
He took one arm out from behind my back and went rummaging in his pocket. A bright smile appeared on his face when he pulled the object out. It was a piece of red silk. Without a word, he tilted my head back just a bit and gently placed the silk over my lips.
Remy'll enjoy dah chase- Again.
His left arm tightened around my back and his right hand grabbed a handful of my hair and used that to support my head. Ah took fistfuls of the back of his jacket and pulled him closer, urging him to just kiss me already. When he did, it was like none of our other three physical encounters.
Our lips met with some awkward hesitation. The kiss itself was soft, slow, and sweet. Almost teasing. As the seconds passed it became deeper, more passionate, more intense, more longing, more needing. Every hair and every nerve in my entire body was reaching out to him- almost pleading him to hold me tighter, kiss me harder, and never to stop. Of course he stopped.
He took the clothe away from my face and Ah saw that tender look.
Don't be disappointed, chère.
Ah waited to catch my breath before Ah spoke, Ah'm not disappointed, Ah- Okay, Ah am disappointed. What gives?
'Dis will be much easier when we are t'gether.
No more complications, right?
He nodded with a now somber look taking over his face. He pulled me into a tight hug that lasted longer than the kiss- still not long enough. He backed up an arm length away from me and held out his hand, Enemies again?
Ah should have placed my hand in his as a civil gesture, but Ah didn't. Ah made him think Ah would. Ah extended my hand, but instead of pacing it in his, Ah grabbed his wrist. His face held a bit of surprise as Ah quickly turned and used every ounce of my strength and used his weight and the forces of gravity against him, just the way Logan taught me.
Soon, he was on the ground. He tried to grab my ankle, but Ah was too fast for him. Ah jumped out of his range of sight long enough to take the upper hand. When he was looking away from me, Ah made my move. Ah was suddenly on top of him, straddling his hips. Ah somehow got my legs wrapped around his thighs and my hands were around the inside of his elbows before he had a chance to react.
Chère? What gives?
We're enemies now?
Remy t'ought d'at maybe we'd wait til the next time we met.
Ah thought this would be a perfect time, Ah lowered my face less than and inch away. Ah could feel his breath and he could feel mine. Our eyes burned into one another's like they never have before, What? Remy doesn't wanna play?
His eyes gave off something more this time- something new to me. So new Ah wasn't too sure what it was. It may have been desire, but Ah wasn't sure what kind- desire for me, or desire to hurt me. My question was answered when Ah finally noticed his excitement where Ah was sitting. It took me a moment to get over that fact, but by that time he turned the tables.
He got his arms free from beneath my weight and Ah fell hard against his chest. Ah immediately sat up and he let me. Ah searched his face for a motive, but all Ah saw was the desire. It was so overwhelming that Ah didn't notice his right hand on my thigh. He inched his way slowly, but firmly along the contour. When Ah felt his finger tips tease the bottom my my skirt, an odd noise erupted from my throat. He took that as an invitation to go higher. He did stay above my skirt- such a gentleman.
Ah was over the initial shock of the attack gone wrong and Ah took the opportunity to study his face as his hand continued it's journey. He still had the unmistakable look of desire plastered on his face, but Ah didn't see how he could after Ah attacked him. He was up to something.
Up my SHIRT!
His left hand tucked itself away under my shirt and sat on the side of my waist. Ah made eye contact with him and he began to wander. He made his way up to my ribs and the odd sound came back. Ah had to ignore the butterflies and the yearning to be touched.
What was he up to?
When Ah felt his thumb brush the underside of my breast, a dull heat began to engulf my body. This heat wasn't the heat of passion and desire... It was his power. He was gonna try something. Ah made it seem like Ah didn't notice. Instead Ah tossed my head back and let out one of those embarrassing noises again. He grabbed my butt a little tighter and moved his left hand to my back. He liked it. Ah was gonna take a chance. Ah was ending it here.
Ah practically breathed out his name,
Ah tossed my hair to one side in a very dramatic motion, leaned down so our chests were touching and said, It ends here.
The desire that was once evident on his face turned to malice as he grabbed my belt. The heat from it was intense and Ah had to stop it. My hands shamed into his shoulders and Ah crushed my dry lips against his. It wasn't the passionate and mind-blowing kisses we shared in the past. It was all about superiority.
My power began to work its magic instantly. He tried to fight me, but he couldn't. He heat that he produced entered my body and at an alarming rate. Ah really didn't wanna kill the man so Ah pushed myself off of him and stood. He was conscious, but not going anywhere anytime soon so Ah took the time to dust off the dirt that was on my knees, put my gloves back on, fix my shirt, and sling my backpack over my shoulder.
Remy, Remy, Remy, Ah knelt beside him and brushed some hair out of his face, Ah'm gonna miss those arms around me, but for some reason- kicking your ass is a lot more fun.
He looked at me and smiled, Remy aims to please.
Ah patted his chest and stood up, That you do, Ah turned around and headed towards the school, See you around.
Ah made inside just in time for the bell to ring. Just in time for 6th period! Perfect.
As Ah was turning the corner towards the Science department, Ah spotted him- Scott. He stood there, leaning next to a set of lockers with his arms crossed. Even though Ah could never see his eyes, Ah could tell when he was pissed.
Ah could have just turned around and went the other way, but Ah knew Ah'd be late. No matter what, Ah'd have to explain myself to him eventually.
He stood up straight, almost as if trying to intimidate me. HA!
You weren't in study hall.
How do you know?
I told my teacher I had to use the restroom. Instead I went to talk to you. I saw you with Alvers earlier. What the hell was he doing here?
It doesn't matter what he was doing here. Why were you checking up on me? Ah can take care of myself!
Fine, I'll drop it. But why'd you skip?
Ah ran into Gambit. He-
Ah stopped when Ah saw him unconsciously reach for his visor. Ah don't think he realizes it, but he does that whenever someone messes with his girls.
Ah placed a hand over his arm, Chill out, Scott. Ah took care of him.
How'd you do that?
You wounldn't believe me if Ah told you.
Well, that's it! It's over with. I am done with this one. Please don't be angry with me, but I now feel that Rogue and Gambit are best told by the real writers of Xmen:Evolution. So when this story leaves off is where the new episodes begin.
I realized my writing style has changed a little- Sorry for that, but I've been doing so much reading that has influenced my style. Hope everyone likes! And I apologize for Gambit's accent. It sucks...
But I hope you all enjoyed the ride and I am very grateful for those who reviewed and kept reminding me how good this story was- you are the ones that pushed me to continue.