This is my first ever fanfic (apart from middle school Twilight phase- but we don't talk about that). This is the story that was in the back of head throughout all of Season 4. I've been wanting to write it for a long time and since it's "M/M Celebration Day" I figured it was a good time to start. The first chapters are kinda short- but they will get longer the story goes on (and I get better at writing). It will be around 18 chapters (3 of which I have done, and the rest I have planned). Anyway, I've been fangirling over the many fics that the Downton fandom has written for months now, and I've be so flattered if you all read a bit of mine.

Everyone in this belongs to Fellows.

Chapter 1

July 1923:

"Let battle commence," Mary declared cheerfully.

A second later, her jaw sprung open in shock. "Wait, what's that?"

Mary gapped at a sight beyond Charles shoulder. It couldn't be. There was no point in imagining things. For just a moment, she thought she saw-

"Mary, are you alright?" Charles asked.

"Sorry, Charles," Mary murmured. "I've just become very dizzy. It's probably just from dancing all night. I need to go have a lie down."

"Do you need help?" Charles asked, placing his hand on her arm, she shook it off.

"I'm fine," Mary muttered, her face clearly flustered "I'll be fine. Good bye Charles."

November 1920:

"Matthew?" Mary whispered in the quiet of the morning. She could tell from his breathing that he was awake.

"Darling?" He whispered back.

"I think," she cooed, smiling, her secret rolling off her lips and becoming theirs, "that I might be pregnant."

"Mary," His face broke out in the widest smile she'd ever seen and he pulled her into a close embrace. "Oh Mary!"

They laid together in silence. She had suspected it for days, but her visit to Dr. Clarkston the day before had confirmed it. Mary didn't want to say a word to Matthew till she knew it was certain, she knew how badly he wanted them to have children. She had known yesterday, but had wanted to wait until morning to tell him. She loved mornings waking up next to Matthew. It reminded her of all the mornings she had woken up drearily by herself and Matthew's presence now made them a joyous occasion.

She looked up at him. "Do you think I'll make a good mother?" She murmured.

"The very best," Matthew told her, brushing the hair from her face.

She thought blissfully of motherhood. She had never found herself particularly maternal, but here in Matthew's arms, she could imagine them having children, a family. She thought of them visiting the nursery together to rock their child and of the child growing older, buying him or her toys and showing them the world. She thought of how lovely it had felt to hold Sibbie in her arms, how just right a baby felt there. Mary felt flooded of joy at her vision of the future. She could do it; she could be a mother.

"I love you so very much," whispered Matthew.

"As I love you," she chimed back.

Matthew pulled her into a kiss. It was over a half an hour until Mary rang for Anna and Matthew went to dress and get breakfast. She thought cheerfully of the things they could do today. The crisp autumn air would be lovely for a walk around the estate before luncheon and maybe a stolen afternoon in the library snuggling if no one stopped by.

However, just as Anna was finishing Mary's hair, Matthew exploded into the room.

"Some ruddy tenant has caused quite a fuss apparently," Matthew growled.

"Has he?" Mary inquired, her distinctive eyebrows raising.

"He's not locked up his animals properly," Matthew told her, running a hand through his hair. "They've escaped all over the property."

"Has he really? What a sight!" Mary laughed. Even Anna was suppressing a giggle. It was hard not to when picturing pigs and sheep trotting around Downton's manicured lawns.

"I was looking forward to spending the morning with you darling," He frowned, "but now it seems I'll have to take care of this incident."

Mary frowned. She was going to miss Matthew, but she knew that the estate was his life's work, just as it was for her father, and her own really.

"It's alright," she said, smiling, "duty calls!"

"Indeed," he sighed, kissing her on the cheek. "See you at luncheon love!"

"Good bye Matthew."

July 1923:

Mary reached her room in Grantham House. She crumbled onto her bed, unable to catch her breath. What had she seen?

It has looked so much like him. It had to be him. The brown suit she knew he owned, even down to the exact hat he used to wear while traveling. It was probably just another man in his suit walking across the street.

But it has looked so uncannily like Matthew. The golden hair exactly so, his nose and jaw line, just as she remembered them.

It couldn't be. She remembered the funeral: An hour of standing numbly beside the coffin, dripping in sweat under her long black gown in the summer heat. She had watched solemnly, trained to never let others see her emotions. That was until they put his body under the ground. Then, she had broken down into gasping sobs, her cool and calm mask broken. As she watched the coffin hit the bottom of the grave, she thought of how her dearest Matthew was under the ground never to be seen again. Her mother had put a hand on her shoulder, as both a comfort and a reminder. She had gazed the tombstone, looking at the start and end to Matthew's life. And what she thought had been the ends of hers too.

Mary cried quietly, feeling so tiny and alone in her bed in London. She thought of how moments before she felt so free of the depression that had haunted her after Matthew's death. How she was so willing to let Blake and Gillingham fight for her heart. Yet now, it seemed as if it only belonged to Matthew. She felt so stupid that a silly passing man on the street could cause her to turn this way.

But all the same, for a moment, for a tiny precious moment, she had hope.

November 1920:

Matthew walked out of the house. He didn't know much about farm animals and was wary about how best to amend this situation. He, Tom, Robert and some of the male servants had decided to divide and conquer to see if they could find the animals and round them up. Matthew was secretly hoping that he wouldn't actually find any animals. He wasn't much of a country boy. He tried to pick the direction where there would be least likely to be any animals.

He turned down one plane of the lawn where is seemed no one had gone. He soon found himself in a small copse of trees. He hadn't been to this part of the Estate often. It felt a little bleak and foreign to him.

In the distance he saw a pig scurry by. He frowned at it, knowing that it meant he was to catch the pig. He took off in its direction. He tried to picture Mary beside him, trying to catch the pig. However Mary in the mud and dirt was something he thought he would never see.

He walked across wooded area to get to the pig. All of the sudden, a cloud passed over the sun, and things grew ominously dark. Matthew glanced worriedly around, all of sudden feeling uneasy. He had this bizarre and sickening feeling that he was being watched. He took a few steps towards when-

A rough gloved hand clasped his mouth and pulled his into woods. He felt the cool touch a knife blade against his throat.

I'm going to die, he thought bluntly.