Disclaimer: I own this story, and the disk I saved it on.
A/N If you are offended by boy/boy relationships, what the hell are here for? Homophobe.
One couple is bluntly obvious but I'm going to keep a secret anyway for some strange reason which even I don't know. There is, however, also going to be some sweet fluffy Taito and vague Daikeru (very vague). The first chapter is pretty pointless, it's only here to get through to you how Ken is doing with his past depression, but the other chapters are *so* much more interesting.
This is basically Ken contemplating over his past life, angsty but it's not like suicide angsty.
Betrayal of the Heart By Crimson 408
Chapter 1 Reality
Ken Ichijouji slowly opened his ice blue eyes to grimly greet a new grey morning.
Turning over to his right he wearily took a quick glance at the wall clock then slumped back down again with a sigh. Exactly 8 a.m. Same time as always on the weekend. He looked out the window. It was grey, giving the new day a bleak perspective.
Today was Saturday; it made no difference to him to him though. The days were all the same, wake up, get ready, eat and then leave to go somewhere of no importance. The days didn't matter if they didn't involve his friends. He had only realized this a few months back. Be fore then, things had been so very much different.
He had never realized how empty he was before, day after day, week after week; it never occurred to him that something was missing. He was renowned for his super intelligence, and apparently his looks too. He was the best at everything he did and with no effort! He never even had to try. He was a 13 yr old who had been on the news almost as many times as any famous actor or actress. He was flawless to everyone except himself. Perfect to world.
Yet all this didn't bring him happiness.
He was becoming a teenage boy in a sardonic world of fools.
He soon changed. He no longer could find the strength to appreciate anything any longer. He became bad, evil, and the circumstances for others were not good.
He had found a way to travel to what he believed to be a new world. It was revolutionary! He finally achieved something people had thought of as impossible, though this was not the first time.
But this was different; this was something that brought him a little satisfaction. Satisfaction being something he had not felt in a very long time, and it felt very good indeed.
It was surreal, just like a wonderful dream. He could do whatever he pleased to anything he desired. All because he thought it wouldn't matter. He wouldn't have been harmed. He made himself little minions, and hundreds of slaves. He even created new gadgets so he could trap his victims and control their minds and power of will. Soon he had also found a small, groveling slug worthy of only being his slave. He could boss and kick about the worthless worm like no ones business. It felt good.
It had all become nothing but a mere game to him.
Now looking back, he must have become insane with power. His conscience soon became futile and so did his sense of reality. Now nothing had any importance to him.
So much damage…destruction…
He had created himself somewhat of a fort, including his very own dungeon and torture section. He was too powerful to imagine, he thought that nothing could stop him now.
He was almost in hysterics when he found that a group of so called 'Digidestined' wanted to challenge him in his world. A world that he owned and he controlled.
He accepted the challenge with glee; he thought it would be interesting if not very entertaining.
Fortunately, things did not go as he had quite planned. His own evil came to battle against him, this leading to nothing but havoc and chaos. Soon he had no other choice but to join sides with his enemies. The insects, which he had set out to crush and destroy.
How very ironic.
He had found new pawns to toy with and in the long run it had turned out to be the very opposite. He now needed these imbeciles and he was the pawn.
Soon after, his world changed, he retaliated against the darkness within him, with help. He knew that they only helped because they wanted no more harm to come to the world which he now knew he did not own.
This world was the Digital World where creatures called Digimon lived, which he had brutally abused, killed and beaten in the hundreds. The ability to feel guilt returned to him again as did his conscience. He almost had forgotten what guilt felt like, but he was no longer a monster.
Suddenly nothing made sense again, everything he had gradually come to believe had turned out to be horrifically wrong.
He did beat himself up over it all, he hated now himself then anyone else in the world. He couldn't stand to even look at his own reflection. He feared himself, what he had become, what now was part of his history. Something that could not be wiped clean. He was stuck with his nightmare forever whether he liked it or not.
He became moral again. When he thought his best friend Wormon was gone forever the old Ken returned much to the relief of everyone. He realized how much the digimon cared for him and how he cared for the digimon in return.
He was no longer the Digimon Kaiser. He thought he had nothing left in the cold, resentful world and if he had lost his loyal companion Wormon, it would have been too true for him to handle. After everything he had done, how much he had very badly mistreated Wormon and what he had changed too, the thought of anything bad happening to his friends or Wormon made him want to die.
He couldn't accept himself as a human being any longer. He was going to end all the misery for good. He dwindled over the idea many times before. It was all could think of, he saw no future for himself and his existence was no longer important. He came so close, so close…
Luckily he didn't. Something made him see sense.
The Digidestined whom which he had once loathed, very gradually came to accept him. Well almost all of them.
It was the leader, Daisuke Motimiya, who had selflessly brought himself to make sure Ken would join their alliance as another of the Digidestined. Apparently he was one of the chosen children like them and it was his destiny.
Although he was unsure if he believed in fate or destiny any more.
It was Daisuke who had helped him get over his deep depression. It was Daisuke who had talked Ken into revealing all his secrets to him. It was Daisuke who soothed Ken when he was upset or at the rare times he let Daisuke see him cry, he helped him get over so many little bits and pieces. Anything good that happened to him was more or less because of Daisuke. That's why he held such high respect and admiration for the loud, ever grinning, brown-eyed boy. Davis had managed to get everyone to forget Ken's hideous past and most importantly forgive him. Well all except stubborn Iori, the youngest of the destined children who refused to believe a person who had once been so evil could simply change just like that. Obviously Ken would never truly be able to even start to forgive himself. To forgive and forget seemed to come so easily to them, yet he couldn't let him self forget any of it. He didn't even disserve their forgiveness.
I felt unworthy.
Now he and the rest, Daisuke, Hikari, Miyako, Takeru and even Iori were the closest of friends.
Currently, it seemed as though life couldn't possibly become any better. He was the holder of the Crest of Kindness and fought against the evil proudly with Wormon by his side and his friends to look out for him. He was also now found that even the former Digidestined were quite fond of him and let him into their gang.
He was loved again, loved and accepted. Which really was all he had been craving for, for such a long time.
During the months they had all spent with each they had been on numerous missions and discovered DNA digivolving. He and Davis had been close, but Ken believed that they now had developed their friendship further by this bond the two shared. It was as if the two could interact with one another's thoughts when they DNA digivolved. They became so close to being one. So close Ken could sometimes even see into Daisuke's soul.
He liked that.
Davis no longer envied Ken any more, though Ken did enjoyed to rub in the very obvious fact that he was a better soccer player. No matter if Davis wouldn't admit it. They had fun rivaling each other in a hard, intimate game of full on soccer. Often Taichi and Yamato would join in, sometimes managing to drag along Koushiro. Koushiro would whine about having to leave his laptop behind but always ended up enjoying himself just as they all did. It would always turn out to be a great laugh.
Taichi Yagami, Yamato Ishida, Koushiro Izumi, Sora Takenouchi, Jyou Kido and Mimi Tachikawa were all the older, former D.D.'s. Tai the big, immature brother of Hikari and Matt the serious, affectionate elder brother to T.K.
He did manage to accept the fact that in a way he was quite envious of his friends. After all they still had what he no longer owned.
A caring family, all happy, together…
Sometimes he was angered by the way they weren't as grateful as they should be, he would have given anything just be like them again, give his life to have his brother Sam back. Though things don't work that way, once you've lost something you can't get it back, no matter how much you cry, you wish or what you do. He would know. That's just not how things work.
It doesn't work that way; it just doesn't work that way.
That's why he had to make sure that he never lost his closest friend.
He didn't want for things to change, now things were so good, he had people who really liked him and not because he was some famous boy genius. They knew him so much better now and he'd never had friends as close as these. Never had a friend like Davis. No one he had ever met could match up to him. He was loyal, kind, trusting, funny, a little loud and well… kinda daft too. But that's why he enjoyed his company so much, Davis could always humour Ken. He always said the right things to cheer him up because everything Davis said came from the bottom of his heart.
And so he was going to stick with Daisuke Motimiya as long as he lived, they were almost inseparable.
Ken sat up and stretched, a smile creeping up on his lips.
The morning wasn't so bleak anymore.
He and Davis, friends forever.
A/N Reviews make me happy.