Seven years ago Santana left her broken and empty because she was afraid to come out and fight for their love. She asked Britt for some more time, but she didn't want to wait anymore. She waited for her since she was six years old. Her parents knew about them They saw them making out and eve heard them having sex and Brittany knew they would give Santana a place to stay if her parents kicked her out. But it was not enough for the Latina to come out to her family.
''I'm done Santana. I can't anymore. I've loved you since I was six and you never had courage to fight for me and love me back as I deserve.''
''Britt…My grandmother is on a death bead…. I can't tell my family now….''
''Then we are done Santana…''
Santana left Britt's house and that was the last time she saw her. Brittany was left in pieces. For weeks she was empty, just a shell of who she used to be. Rachel and Queen kept her sane but they were afraid for their friend. Queen tried to find Santana but had no luck. Her phone was no longer in use and her parents had no idea where she went. Even her parents had no idea where she was. As soon as her grandmother died, she left. She packed her bag and left in the middle of the night. She never called any of them or tried to reach any of their former friends. Britt was sad and drunk most of the first year and then somehow she found the way to cope with her pain and all she felt. As time went by she was getting her old personality back and somehow she got the will to live again. She, Rachel and Q moved to New York and made it big. She and Rachel started dating and as Britt's job as a Broadway dancer made their income safe, Rachel decided to have a baby. Rachel was two months pregnant and over the Moon when Britt landed new dancing role. It was for a movie. She was supposed to help with choreographing a musical. It war some new version of ''West side story'' and Rachel made her take the job. Rachel and Quinn insisted they visit her on set and see her work. The lead actress was hot as hell and Rachel had hints of jealousy watching Britt dance with her. She was flirty and fun. Rachel got some self confidence back when she learned that the actress is pretty straight and just interested in being Britt's friend. Her name was Elena and she reminded Quinn of someone. She would notice how Britt would wonder off somewhere watching her practice or talk. And then it clicked… She was very much like Santana. She was beautiful , loud , funny and had the same eyes. She was not sure how to approach things or even if it is worth it to ask. She and Rachel were at the good place. They were having a baby and Britt was always there when Rachel needed her. As long as Rachel made no comments, she will keep her mouth shut. For almost a month Quinn and Rachel would come to rehearsals and watch Britt dance. They would have lunch with Elena and then they would go back to work. One day they started talking about friends and family. Elea told them that there is six of them and that she had a lot of cousins. After the family talk, came the relationship talk.
''Are you dating someone?''
''I am now… He is the best ever… I met him through my roommate.''
''They are friends?''
''That is the funny story… They are ex lovers…. They used to hook up at high school, but at some point they became friends. ''
''And what is your roommate like?''
''She was the only girl that could get me to cross the line... She is also Latina, hot as hell and has a temper to kill. She has a body of a goddess and there is no man or woman who wouldn't want her. I am not as half as difficult as she is. I love her so much…. But… Oh… She is the Satan in woman's body….''
Quinn smiled .
''Us, Latinas are not easy to handle… But… she… Oh, my Good… She is really something special…. She is also an actress and an amazing dancer. That girl can move and do with her body things I can't imagine doing. I found out she was a cheerleader, four time national champion and that she had crazy lady as her couch who made her and others drink some crazy things to stay in shape. ''
Britt's mood went down after mentioning the Latina, Satan, cheering and the rest… Rachel spoke for them.
''We used to know someone like that. Brittany and Quinn were cheerleaders too. They were on the team with that person. She had so much fun torturing me in high school. She thought she was better than me and she made all of us miserable. I was the leader of a Glee club and she wanted my place and my solos…''
Quinn tried to stop Rachel from saying too much. She was not sure how Britt would react.
''It was not like that… She was…''
They all looked at Britt… That was the first comment she made of her in years.
''She was special…''
''Brittany, you can't be serious?!''
Elena looked between the friends and lovers and tried to discover what is going on.
Quinn tried to calm down the situation.
''No, let her finish… She was special? She made hell of our lives… She made hell of your life…It took us so long to get you to normal and to get over her…''
''That was my fault also… I made her leave. I had no understanding for her pain and struggle. If I had more patience and understanding, she wouldn't have left and…''
''You would still be together? Is that it Brittany?''
''No, I was not going to say that Rachel.. I am with you, we are having a baby…''
''Are you in love with her?''
Elena looked at them and waited for something to happen and stop the discussion… Quinn interrupted by asking more about the roommate…
''She is crazy bitch… She sleeps with a lot of girls. But, when she is drunk, she always goes to bed with leggy blonds with blue eyes. Every year, on the 28th of June, she is locked in her room with a hear shaped wooden box crying like a baby and apologizing to someone who has something to do with a box. She referred to that person as ''baby B''. At first I believed she lost the baby or gave it for adoption , but my boyfriend assured me it had nothing to do with it. He said she called that girl like that. I never found out what is in the box and my boyfriend never talks about the girl from the box. He told me it was epic love and that she and the girl were too stubborn to forgive. He also told me that he would love to see them end up together. He told me what they had was something that happens once in a lifetime. Sometime he jokes that regardless of when and where they meet it would take them less than fifteen minutes to end up having sex like crazy. I was a little jealous at the beguiling. He knows her secrets and he knows how to calm her. Sometimes they would just sit on the floor and sing . She would cry and he would hold her and promise her that she would be fine. ''
Quinn was too curious…
''What does the box look like?''
'' I just know it was costume made and that she has a key in the locket around her neck. My boyfriend told me that the other girl also has a box and then inside of the box they made inscriptions for each other. ''
Brittany was shaking and couldn't eat anymore. She wanted to ask for the name… She had to ask… Elena noticed Britt's tattoo on the inside of the wrist.
''Oh, that tattoo of yours reminded me of my roommate… She also has a unicorn tattoo on her wrist. It is usually covered by bracelets or make up… But , sometimes I see her looking and it and sighing… The bottom of the unicorn is initial. It has two letters B and S. I suppose it is the name of the person…''
Britt got up and run to the restroom. She locked herself in the stall and started crying. It was her… It had to be her… She got out of the bathroom few minutes later and returned to the table. Rachel was too busy talking about herself to notice Britt was little off. On the other hand, Q was sure that something was wrong.
''My roommate will come to pick me up later, if you want to meet her…''
''Oh, I'm not in the mood to meet Satan's twin… I had enough with the one that was….SPECIAL… as my girlfriend would say…''
''Rachel, please… Leave it alone. I can't fight about it anymore…''
''I will not leave it alone… She called me Hobbit, Manhands, Jewish dwarf….''
''And you told her she would be working on a poll….''
''Are you defending her? You are on her side?''
''How can I be on anyone's side when I haven't seen her in years….''
''I can't believe you still choose to be on her side….''
''Rachel, be rational… I haven't seen her in years…And you never did anything do defend yourself. You let her say all these things and always wanted someone to save you. At least she fought her wars on her own. She never waited to be saved… And she saved me so many times. Even from you Rachel. You and Finn called me stupid numerous times and told me you were better than me…''
''That was high school. Get over it Brittany…''
''Me? I'm over it… But you are not. You still blame her for everything. Even for things you did by yourself.''
'' If I see her again I would never let her say all these things to me… I will tell her….''
''Leave it alone Rachel. Grow out of it… I can't listen to this anymore….You can't blame her for every single thing that happens.''
With that Brittany went back to rehearsal and Quinn was left with Rachel and Elena.
''What was that all about?''
''Apparently about the ex she will love till the day she dies….''
''Yes, I am pregnant, I live with her…. I sleep with her…. But it is all nothing compared to that…. person… who still lives inside of her. She made her sound perfect….but she was not… She was devil… devious and she caused a lot of pain… I'm going home. I don't feel that well.''
Elena looked at Quinn for and explanation.
''It's complicated. Britt and that other girl had a very special bond. She took care of her and protected her form other people. She was so in love with her, but afraid to come out. She had very strict family and she was scared they would kick her out if she told them she was gay and in love with Britt.''
''Britt got impatient and told her to come out . Her grandmother was dying and she was not ready to do that at the time, so B told her to get away from her life. She disappeared after the funeral and we know nothing about her. It took us a lot of time to piece Britt together. She blamed herself for that girls disappearance. Her and Rachel sort of happened. I believe she always had a thing for Britt and that Britt cares about her, but, if you ask me, she doesn't love her like she loved…''
''The other girl…''
''Yes, something like that…''
''Did you ever find the girl?''
''No, never… I'm not sure if she even tried to find her… I believe she feels guilty about letting her go so easily….''
''What was her name? Maybe I can help?''
''No, it's too late now. She and Rachel are having a baby. It's not right…''
''But it might give her closure…''
''Not sure it's a good idea.''
''O.K. I'll let it go…''
''That would be the best.''
When Brittany came home, Rachel was already asleep. Britt spent most of the evening in the living room thinking about Santana and all that Rachel said about her. Was she still taking her side? Should she still take her side? She was aware who Santana was and she loved her so much…or she still… She got up from the sofa and went to take a long shower. She closed her eyes and let her mind wonder. As usual, it wondered where it shouldn't. She could feel her arms around her and her lips trailing kisses over her back. She could remember how she used to touch her and made her feel good. That shower ended with her masturbating and coming thinking about Santana and the way they used to fuck under the shower.
Grate… This is just grate….
She changed to go to bed and went to bedroom. Rachel was snoring so Brittany knew she was really asleep. She woke up at six and went to work. She had to work on new routine and had to get her mind off Santana and all the amazing times they had. She worked so hard and when Elena came she started doing the choreography with her. Elena tripped and broke her leg. Doctors told her she couldn't dance for more than two months. They needed to find someone new to take the role of Anita. After two hours, producer came to talk to Britt.
''Miss Pierce, it's nice to see you. In a few minutes a new actress will come so you can work with her. We were lucky she already knows the part.''
''Fine, I'll wait for her… If she knows the part, we will finish things sooner.''
''And she is amazing dancer.''
''Than, it will be nice to work with her.''
Her phone rang.
''Hey… I was wondering why you didn't call. It is noon.''
''We had a situation. Elena got injured and can't work for two months. They found some other person to take her part so I was thinking about new dancing plan.''
''Oh. I just wanted to talk…''
''We can talk when I came home.''
She hung up and turned to find Rachel and Quinn behind her.
''I'll leave you two…''
'' You came home late…''
''I had to work…''
''You didn't come to bed right away… I noticed you had a beer last night…''
''I did… What is this all about?''
''What about her?''
''You still think she is the best dam thing that walked this Earth…''
''Were did that come from?''
''Yesterday, when Elena talked about her roommate. It reminded you of her… You eyes twinkled at the mention of sexy and Latina.''
''Do we have to do this?''
''Yes! What would you say If you had a chance to see her now?''
''I don't know…''
Quinn and Elena heard noise and got in the rehearsal room. Elena was in the wheel chair and Quinn helped her in.
''Well, I do! I have few choice words for Santana Lopez… I would have to tell her a lot of things I kept quiet for years…''
''Tell me what Hobbit?''
They all froze… Britt couldn't turn to face her…. Elena was confused and Q… She waited for hell to turn loose.
''You were saying Berry?''
They were all stunned to see her. She looked like million dollars to a poor man. She was in a tight red dress, black silk pumps and her curls were loose. She had very light make up and Britt could swear Santana still smelled like vanilla and cherries .
''You are the worst thing that has happened to us… And you are bad person, you just hurt and use people. You are incapable to love and you only hurt people who try to give you a little love.''
''Nice Hobbit… But, what do you know about my love? Or love at all?''
''I know what you did to Brittany and I know that NOW she is happy with me and we are having a baby in a few months.''
That was low punch. She lost the smirk she had on her face and looked at Rachel, Quinn and…. Brittany…
Rachel took Britt's hand and smirked at Santana. She finally had the weapon to defeat and hurt her. Santana took her solo in high school, she took Fin's virginity, but now she had her Brittany, the only thing that mattered to her. She noticed how Brittany is not looking at her. If she knew something, she knew her. Her and Berry might be together, but Britt is not in that relationship completely. That gave her strength to continue. Santana took a deep breath and made sure to hurt Rachel the way she knew she would end it for today…
''Well that is nice Berry… As usual… You enjoy my sloppy seconds… My solo, sack of potatoes Fin and now Britt… How does it feel Berry to come second…?''
She was not expecting this comeback so soon. She expected Santana broken and in tears. She should have won.
''Your lovers were mine first… You could feel me in every touch or kiss they gave you… I thought them well…''
Elena looked confused….
''You all know each other?''
''Yes, we went to high school together…''
''You are a cheerleader from hell Rachel and Brittany were fighting about?''
Santana just lifted her brow at them.
''Oh, I didn't know that….''
Quinn got involved…
''Santana, she is pregnant… Please don't push it…''
''Oh, Q… I would never push IT…. IT will fall by IT self in a few months… She is already huge…''
Brittany kept silent… She was staring at her feet. She let Rachel's hand and played with her fingers. Santana knew she made her nervous….
''Hello, Britt Britt…''
She lifted her gaze and finally looked at her. She was lost for words. Santana was finally here.
''Why are you here Santana?''
''I came to the dance rehearsal… I'm new Anita.''
Brittany closed her eyes and tried to remember how to breath… Quinn was looking at the girls thinking what should she do. Elena was starting to place things and people and was shocked to realize that she had it all in front of her nose all this time.
Rachel went crazy…
''No! NO! NO!''
''Calm your hairy tits Hobbit… ''
''Don't call me that Santana! I will not allow it…''
''What? Britt to work?''
''Not with you…''
''Oh, grow up…No one cares what you think. This is not Glee.''
Rachel was so loud in insulting Santana, that producer and security came.
''Miss. Lopez, is everything fine?''
''No, it's not. This…person is not letting us work… She is wasting my time.''
''Ms. Berry, please go home…''
''I will not. Santana cannot stay here. I will not allow Brittany to work with her…''
''Rachel, go home and don't make scenes…''
''This is my work. My reputation is on the line…''
''And what about my reputation and our relationship?''
''Quinn, take her home…''
''I'll go home if you promise not to be alone with her…''
Santana smirked and had so much fun with how angry she made Rachel. She spent so much time terrified of the possibility that Britt wouldn't love her anymore. And now, Rachel gave her reason to believe she is still very loved and a big issue in their relationship. Quinn managed to clam her and promised to stay with them and keep an eye on them. Rachel went home feeling little bit calmer than before. But, before she left, she kissed Brittany in front of Santana. She was pissed that Brittany didn't return the kiss. She huffed and left. Santana looked at Brittany few more seconds and then spoke.
''When do you want to start and what with?''
''Do you want to change?''
''You can use Elena's dressing room.''
Santana left the room and Brittany fell on the floor and started crying. Quinn came to her and hugged her. She was trying to calm her. It was not working. At one point, she started having panic attack. At that moment, Santana got in. She saw her on the floor and when Brittany noticed Santana, she started chocking. Santana got on the floor next to Quinn and took Brittany from her…
'' Britt… Breath please…Calm down Baby… I'm here… I have you… I'm here… ''
She was stroking her hair and she started to calm down. Quinn was shocked how fast Santana got to calm her and make her relax…
''I'm here and not going anywhere… I promise B.. I promise I will not leave you…''
Brittany held on to her and calmed down… Santana kissed her temple and hair humming some melody Quinn knew but couldn't remember what it was.
''Yes, baby B…''
''Yes… I promise…''
They had short staring contest before they started moving towards each other.
Q interrupted their moment and they had to go back to reality. Elena was in shock and very surprised to see Santana so gentle and protective over someone.
''Are you O.K.?''
''Yes, I'll be fine…''
''O.K. Let's dance Pierce.''
They danced for five hours. It was so difficult for them to do be that close and yet so familiar. In Santana's arms she found inspiration to push her limits in dancing and push Santana even more. Santana loved to dance with B. It reminded her of past and how good they had it. Looks Quinn was giving them made Brittany end their day and try to go home and try to fix things with Rachel.
''See you tomorrow at seven…''
''See you Britt Britt…Q…''
Santana left the room and Quinn kept looking at Brittany. She didn't like what she saw on her face. She looked happy to see Santana and to have chance to dance with her and hold her close. Queen remembered numerous times girls danced and how happy they always seemed to be in each other's arms. She decided to keep quiet and keep observing. She knew Rachel would not be happy and Britt will have to work hard to keep her happy and peaceful. She noticed sparks were flying and she just waited for the moment when they would do something about these feelings they apparently still had for each other. Brittany got her things and sighed…
''I'm going to Rachel's Q.''
''Yes, see you…''
She was in the car on the way home when she got message.
Baby B…I can't believe this day happened…. It felt amazing to see you again… Missed you more than I like to admit…
She knew who it was from…
I know… I was happy to see you again…
She closed her eyes and all she saw was Santana and those eyes and lips of hers. If Q didn't interrupt, they would probably be doing it like crazy somewhere. She got another message.
Can't wait to see you again… Already miss you like crazy. Only you can make me crave your touch and closeness like this….I can't stop thinking about what would have happened if Q didn't interrupt… I still want you like I used to…
Santana… Please stop…. I can't. I shouldn't do it to Rachel…
Fine… But, if you change your mind…
With that their messages ended. Britt got into the apartment and found Rachel on the sofa with Kurt. He looked at Brittany with pity. He always knew this Brit/Rachel thing is an epic mistake. As usual his friend created grate romance in her head and had no idea how much the other person didn't feel the same. But, there was a baby on the way. So, that made him little lean to the Rachel side of the things.
''Hi… I'm back… Want to eat something…''
''Oh, hi Kurt…''
Brittany started to walk towards Rachel to greet her when the little Diva addressed her.
''Go to the bathroom and scrub her of your body… Throw the things you danced in the garbage… I don't want you smelling of her…''
''You've been touching her all day. I want your hands clean of her when you touch me or our baby.''
She went to the guest bedroom and took the shower there. She put her dancing things to washing machine and changed into her sweats and shirt. Kurt and Rachel watched some Broadway musical and cried. Britt didn't like this gatherings. She was bored to tears. Her savior came in form of Blain. He brought some normal food and he and Britt opened beer and talked in the kitchen. She knew she could trust him. He was the only person she ever talked to about Santana and unresolved feelengs.
''I heard the news.''
''Oh, I supposed it would be broadcasted all over the planet.''
''How do you feel?''
''Her being so close…''
''What does that mean?''
''I think I still want her…''
''I'm pretty sure…We danced for hours. My hands were pretty much anywhere….''
''Uh…Grosse… Girls touching….''
She smiled at him and slapped his arm.
''What will you do?''
''I have no idea. I just hope not to be alone with her…''
''Good luck with that.''
''Yes… My point…''
''And what about her?''
''How does she feel?''
''Horney…as I do…''
That made them smile…
''Blain… What would you do?''
''I would go and see what is there… It is better to know what is going on than to make guesses…''
''You are not in this relationship… That is obvious… You never were in any other relationship than with Santana.''
After sixth beer, Brit got more brave. She got her phone and sent a text.
Meet me…I have to see you again…
Few minutes later she got the reply.
Brittany texted her an address near the studio where she used to live before Rachel insisted she moved in with her. Rachel had no idea she kept the apartment. That was her safe place where she would run when Rachel became too much to handle. That was the place where she was free to be who she is. She went to the bedroom and changed into sexy lingerie and running clothes so it wouldn't cause any doubt.
''Where are you going?''
''For a run…''
''I have to clear my head…''
''Why? She already made mess of it?''
''No, I did Rachel…''
''I knew it. She came back and you are already all mad about her. I can't believe you.''
''What now? I can't do this anymore… I am here for you Rachel, I tried to repay you all you did for me, but I don't get it… What else do you want…''
''I want you to care…''
''I want you to be happy for the baby and all that is happening to us. I want us to get married.''
''We'll talk when I came back.''
She left the apartment and hailed the cab to the other place. Santana was standing in front of the building.
''I got scared you changed your mind…''
''No, I haven't.''
They got into the building and the elevator was already there. Brittany pressed 15th floor and they were slowly going up. They were nervous. It was the first time in years they would be alone. Santana felt weak at her knees just thinking about a moment with a blonde and she was not alone in that feeling. It took them just one moment to look at each other and start feeling even more nervous. Britt opened the door to the apartment and they entered. Santana was behind her back closing the door. It was dark but they didn't need the light to see and feel each other. Britt turned and pushed against the door. She held her hands above Santana's head and just looked at her eyes.
''What on Earth are we doing?''
''What we should have done long time ago…''
Santana kissed her and she was alive again. It took them less than a minute to strip each other and be naked in their madness of need, lust and…even love. Brit lifted her and Santana put her legs around Britt's waste. She carried her to the bed and put her on it. In the beginning, their kisses and the way they touched each other were very aggressive and rough. Brittany held her hands to strong, bit her lips till they bled and scratched her back in some moments of passion. On the other hand Santana was very rough with the way she touched her and she had her share of fun with aggressive fingering and pulling of Britt's hair. Their first orgasms were based on pain they gave or received.
''You must admit that fucking Berry is not this much fun….''
''Santana, the sex we had could never compare to anything else… But with her is different. She is different.''
''She is Hobbit…''
''Santana…It's not that… Sex with you is like punishment… It hurts all the time.''
''Every time we had sex, you did something to hurt me. At first, you would say it's just because you were lonely and bored, than you would leave my bed when I fall asleep, then you would tell me it meant nothing and in the end you would cry and tell me you love me and sometime after that, I had to see you all over Puck. You hurt me so much time…Even now. I'm scared of looking at my body. You punished me even now…And I have no idea what for…''
''You left me and I was so broken Brittany. You broke me so badly that I still haven't recovered. You promised me forever and now you are having a baby with HER! You lied to me… You said you and I were and endgame and you do this!''
''I broke the promise? You promised to come out and you never did it….''
''I did… I sent my parents a letter where I told them all about us… I did it after I left.''
''No, you run away… As usual…''
''My grandmother died, I told her about us and she got a heart attack telling me I'm going to hell and she wants me dead. She died because I came out to her… She died because I wanted to keep my promise to you.''
She got out of bed and stood by the window. City lights made her skin glow and reminded Britt of their night in New York after nationals. Her body was still perfect and she adored every part of it.
They lost, she almost killed Rachel and Finn so Britt had to get her out of the room. She repeated some phrases in Spanish and all B could understand was that she would kill them and burn the Shire. She loved when Santana got to her Snyx place and insulted people with sarcasm and amazing sense of humor. Quinn gave her key card for their room and she got Santana to enter it and not return to hurt Giant and Hobbit. She texted Quinn not to return to room until she tells her to. Quinn didn't intend to do so. She knew better than to interrupt their sexy time, or any one on one time. She did it to many times so far. She knew that Latina could get very angry if she is deprived of coffee, food or Britt. Their relationship was not yet defined, but Santana finally accepted she was gay and in love with Brittany. At that moment, Britt could live with that and be happy just with being close to feisty Latina.
''I can't believe we lost because of them. I hate them!''
''Santana, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that we have a new experience. Something to tell our friends and families when we get home.''
''B… My family doesn't deal with defeat very well. My parents don't like losers… I do everything wrong. Good for us we got the Nationals with Sue…''
''You see. You are not loser… ''
''Hey, you came the long way… ''
''Can you hold me.''
Brittany enveloped her in a tight hug and kissed her hair.
''I love you so much…''
Santana looked at her and kissed her. It was their first kiss after very long time. Britt couldn't control herself. She took off Santana's dress and placed her on their bed.
''Brit, what are you doing…?''
''I'm doing what we should have done long time ago…''
She stopped Santana from speaking any more. She kissed smaller girl's lips until they were swollen. Her hands wondered Santana's body and Santana finally gave in, allowing Britt to be the one who is in control. She never regretted that choice because that afternoon she realized how happy this girl makes her and how everything is better with feelings. They were naked in each other's arms but beside their bodies being stripped of all the clothing, Santana felt her soul is stripped too. She was naked in all her glory in Britt's arms. That was the first time she spent entire time looking into Britt's eyes. That was the first time she couldn't stop repeating how much she loves her. Brittany held her close to her body helping her calm after an orgasm. She was kissing her face and hair with an angelic smile she usually had only for Santana.
''I love you too. I'm yours… Proudly so…''
Santana's voice got her out of her memories.
''It was always everything…''
''You were wrong…Our sweet lady kisses… It meant the world to me. It was the only time I felt good about myself and happy. In your arms I was complete… In a way I still am…''
''Come back to bed…''
She offered a hand Santana hesitated to take.
''Please… Come back to bed…to me…''
She took it and B pulled her on her body and started kissing her.
''You are a drug Santana Lopez… How will I let you go again?''
''Don't let me go…''
''We'll figure it out somehow… Just please, don't ever live me again''
''I don't think I'll be able to leave… But… I have to stay with her until the baby is born. She needs me…''
''Fine. I'll keep this under the radar for as long as you need it to be like that.''
''I promise, we'll find the way…''