Ranma's Wives: Avengers Edition! – By Ocramed
Disclaimer: R1/2, SM, ST, Marvel Comics and other properties belong to their respective owners.
Note: This is a one-shot story. C&C are welcomed.
Special Note: This is a part of the "Ranma's Wives" series, which is a part of the TRT/SMST Saga.
As always, Ranma Saotome is always there for his women, in one form or another…
Every year, the muscle-bound villainess Titania flicks her blond tresses to take on the sensational She-Hulk. The irony is that both Titania and She-Hulk started out as naïve waifs who wanted something better for themselves. The difference is that while the She-Hulk wanted to be a hero, Titania wanted to be a villain. As a result, the pair of muscle-bound vixens would go at it. However, thanks to a cosmic being named "The Champion", Titania was in possession of an Infinity Gem: the Gem of Power, which amped of the possessor's physical prowess. As a result of THAT, Titania was the strongest female in the Universe. And she was very much determined to prove herself to her hated foe.
"Auggh!" She-Hulk gasped, as her bones broke while being bear-hugged by Titania.
"Don't pass out, now," Titania said with an evil grin. "I want you to feel every bit of this…pleasure, of mine."
She-Hulk knew that she could survive her assault, but being humiliated in this matter was more taxing to her psyche. And without that focus, she was slowly losing her strength, and will soon be reverted back to normal…
"Face it: I am better than you are!" Titania said, as she began to squeeze She-Hulk again.
Suddenly, Titania felt multiple hits on her back, forcing her to release She-Hulk.
"What?" Titania said, as she began to feel a burning sensation that went through her body. She turned to see Ranma Saotome standing there with his right index and middle fingers pointing upward while flaming.
"Yes, me," Ranma said. "I do believe this is yours?"
It was then that Titania saw the unconscious body of her husband, the Absorbing Man, who was surrounded by an energy field that negated his absorbing powers. Ranma tossed the Absorbing Man to Titania's feet.
"How did you beat Carl?" Titania said in surprise.
"You don't think I study you guys, and not figure out a way to defeat them?" Ranma said. "I work for SHIELD, remember?"
"I'll kill you!" Titania yelled, as she rushed to hit Ranma in the jaw.
"Huh?" Titania asked. "But-?"
"In case you are wondering, I used a 'Weakness Moxibustion Technique' on your pressure points," Ranma replied. "Unlike some other super-strong types, you don't possess invulnerability, which means that your strength is…gone."
"No!" Titania said, as she began to hit Ranma repeatedly. Ever since her defeat at the hands of Spiderman, who was not as strong as she was, Titania had a fear of being helpless in the face of a stronger opponent. However, the longer the Weakness Moxibustion Technique, the weaker the victim of the technique gets, even with the Power Gem.
"But don't feel bad," Ranma said. "You'll have plenty of time to think about your situation…in the Vault, or wherever you'll end up."
"Hey," She-Hulk managed to say, just as Titania turns around to face her.
After She-Hulk head-butts Titania into unconscious, She-Hulk begins to revert to her normal form…
"I got you, babe," Ranma said, as he holds Jennifer Walters in his arms.
"I told you, I don't like people getting into my fights," Jennifer says tiredly.
"Yeah, well, sue me," Ranma said.
"Humph, I just might," Jennifer says with a smile, before going into a state of unconsciousness.
Ranma sighs, as he sees the Power Gem on Titania's forehead, before it disappears, no thanks to the Champion. He really wished that Elder beings stop muddling in mortal affairs…
"So, let me get this straight, no pun intended," said friend Patsy Walker, aka "Hellcat". "You are really a man."
"Yes," Tigra said, as she sipped her tea, while still in her cat-girl form. She and Hellcat have been friends for a long time, and were now eating lunch at their favorite eatery near Central Park, New York…
"And you are like this because of some dark god named Darkseid, with whom you became his wife."
"And you're not gay or anything?"
"Well, I am attracted to women," Tigra said. "But that's because I was born a guy, but was cursed by a cursed spring, which was further enhanced by the cat goddess Bastet, in order to become her avatar, but after I was brainwashed into being Darkseid's wife."
"Okay, that makes…no sense, but whatever," Hellcat replied. "But why are you telling me this, now?"
"Well, I wanted to tell you this because we've been friends for a long time," Tigra said.
"But…you've seen me without my clothes! We've bathed and showered together, for goodness sake!"
"Which is why I wanted to get this out of the way," Tigra said, as she finishes her drink. Then she deposits her money onto the table.
"No matter what happens between us, you can always count on me to be there for you," Tigra says with a smile. "Be seeing you…"
With that, Tigra changes into an actual cat, and runs off…
"Wait!" Hellcat said, as she gets up. "Don't go…"
"What happened?" said familiar voice.
Hellcat turns around to see a familiar face.
"Ranma?" Hellcat said, as she blinked her eyes in surprise. "What are you doing here?"
"I was in the neighborhood," Ranma said, as he went to kiss his wife on the cheek. "I'm surprised that you are here."
"Well, Tigra wanted to tell me something, and it was a doozy," Hellcat said, as she sipped her drink. "I think I'll need another one."
"Well, I'm sure it will work itself out, between you two," Ranma said knowingly. It was a simple matter of creating a 'shadow clone' of his female guise. Thankfully, not many knew that he and "Tigra" were one and the same.
"At any rate, I'm starving," Ranma said, as he opens a menu. "What's to eat around here…?"
"So, you're saying that when my husband 'The Vision' possessed Ranma's body, so that I may bear children, that made Ranma the father to my children, too?" said the Scarlet Witch, as she and Dr. Donald Blake (who was secretly the Asgardian known as "Thor"), and Ranma and the Vision sat in his office at the local clinic in Braxton, Oklahoma.
"It appears so," Dr. Blake replied. "Your children are the perfect synthesis of between matter and biology. And based upon what Ranma told me about the Cylon's 'human models', it is reasonable to assume that Ranma AND the Vision can be both parents to your children, at the same time."
"Fascinating," the Vision replied. "I am aware that the merging between Ranma Saotome and I was an attempt to lessen the power of paradox when my wife casted her reality-altering spell."
"And it would have prevented Wanda from having additional…episodes," Ranma said, as he looked towards his fellow Chaos Lord. Chaos Lords were in existence to break down the rules of Reality, sometimes openly.
"Then, we have much to discuss," Wanda said, as she turned towards Ranma in full. "Ranma, I had a discussion with Vision about all this, if Dr. Blake proved that our children were yours as well."
"Okay, what about it," Ranma replied, as he took a sip of his drink.
"We would like to marry you, Ranma Saotome," the Vision replied, as Ranma nearly choked on his drink.
"Are you okay?" Dr. Blake asked.
"Um…what?" Ranma said in surprise.
"We are aware of your…other obligations," the Scarlet Witch said gently. "But the Vision and I discussed the matter, and I am willing to be your wife in every way possible."
"And I can be your husband, in every way possible," the Vision said.
"…What?" Ranma said, as he notices that Dr. Blake was trying to suppressing a laugh. "Hey!"
"Sorry," Dr. Blake said, as he tried to regain his composure.
"At any rate, I'm not interested, since I promised the wife that I would not take on additional responsibilities-"
Just then, a white bunny with wings flies into Dr. Blake's office through the window.
"Huh," Dr. Blake said, as he notices a note tied to the bunny's collar. He knew that the All-Mother of the Norse gods used winged bunnies as her messengers.
"It's from 'Little Sister'."
"What does it say?" the Scarlet Witch asked.
"It says, 'Go ahead and marry them both; you have my permission'," Dr. Blake said, as he read the message from Asgard. "Well, it looks like the All-Mother approves."
"Oh, great!" Ranma said, as he stood up to look up. "Thanks a lot, Usagi!"
"When we go on our honeymoon, would you like to copulate with me as a male or female?" the Vision asked.
"I could go both ways, my husband, if Ranma was interested," the Scarlet Witch interjects.
Ranma groans in reply.
Located in the heart of Hell's Kitchen, Manhattan, there lies a complete recreation of a feudal Japanese castle known as "Shadowland". It was formerly the home of the rogue ninja organization known as "The Hand", which had been led by the costume superhero known as Daredevil. Now, it was the home of "The Chaste", a group of shinobi warriors who were dedicated in keeping the Hand in check. It was also the New York residence of Prince Ranshin and Princess Usashinko of Japan, aka "The Jade King" and "The Lotus Queen" respectively. And while not using Shadowland as a residence and meeting place, it served as a training hall, as well…
"Alright, just concentrate and focus on your vision," Ranma said, as he circled his student/wife, who was sitting on a mat. "Let the energy flow through you, as you picture weaving a thread through you…."
SHIELD Agent Jessica Drew, aka "Spider-Woman", was learning jutsus—shinobi magic—from Ranma, specifically those from the Spider clan. Ranma himself had spent time learning these arts, and suggested that he could teach Jessica these techniques, since she was known as "Spider-Woman".
"I see the lines spinning in my head," Jessica said, as she pictures a spider in her mind. "It's like weaving cloth."
"Good, now, as you see the strokes, perform the hand gestures," Ranma said.
With her hand clasped, she mirrored the movement of the spider in her mind with her fingers…
"Now, release!" Ranma yelled.
With a flick of her fingers, she produces a stream of webbing that had the consistency of silly string.
"Not bad, for a beginner," Ranma said. "With more practice, you'll be just as good as Parker."
"No she won't!" Spider-Man said, as he swings by the window near the training mat.
"Yes, she will!" Ranma yelled back, which got Jessica to giggle in reply.
"That was wonderful," said Colonel Carol Danvers (USAF), aka "Captain Marvel", as she gets out of bed, even as the dawn begins to rise in the East.
"You could stay, you know," Ranma said, as he lies on their bed.
"Yeah, but I want to explore the Universe with the Guardians of the Galaxy, for a while," Carol replied. "And besides, I'll be back in a year."
"Just be careful out there," Ranma said. "The Universe is a strange place, with treasures both subtle and gross-"
"And it's not for the timid, I know," Carol said, as she gives her husband one last kiss. She then clicks her bracelets together, forming her Captain Marvel costume around her body.
"I am surprise that you wanted to marry me, after all these years," Ranma replied.
"Well, after my trip to the past, where I ran into you, as an Imperial Japanese officer, I realized how much you meant to me," Captain Marvel said.
"Well, you did bring me back to my senses," Ranma said with a smile, thinking how the Axis Powers' control over the so-called "Spear of Destiny" could manipulate anyone to do the bidding of the Axis via magic…
"And it was a pleasure," Captain Marvel said, as she begins to glow. "Be seeing you…"
And, with that, Captain Marvel phases through the ceiling of his shared home in Japan…
"She gone?" Usagi said, as she brushes her teeth while in a bathrobe.
"Yeah, she's gone," Ranma said with a sigh. He looks to see a beat up old photo of him, Captain Marvel and the all-woman commando squad known as The Banshees. The Banshees had thought that they were dealing with another "Jap" imperial officer, until the truth came out upon Captain Marvel's arrival. Needless to say, how Captain Marvel was able to free Ranma from the bad guys control would be etched in the Banshees collective fantasies…
"Good, we got a world to protect," Usagi said.