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Chapter 10 (woohoo!) – Divination take 2

S – Lily killed Lockhart

J – Yes Sirius, I think we've already got through that…

R – Let me get this straight, we're telling our future by reading patterns in the icing on cake?

P - Yup

R - . . .


S – Lily killed Lockhart

P – Oh! Oh! I think I see something!

S2 – Oh! Oh! Is it icing?

P – No. . .

J – Cake?

P – No. . .

S – Well what are you reading then? The plate?

J – I see. . .  a big woman who looks like an overgrown stick insect. . .

::Sirius and James snigger::

R – I see. . . James' death!

J – Ack! No! You must be reading them wrong! You can't be seeing my death!

::Trewlaney comes over, predicts James' death and goes away::

::Sirius stares at Remus as if he's grown a new head::

S – Remus can tell the future!

R – I canno--

S2 – ooh! Tell mine!

J – That's too easy; You have no future.  You're a multiple personality. . . Sirius made you up.

::Sirius' 2nd personality starts crying::

S2 – You are so mean sometimes. . . *sob*

S3 – There, there, there, there

J – Sirius, your multiple personalities are weird…

S – Ssh you multiple personality-hater! Haven't you done enough damage?!

S4 – You are so insensitive.

P – Who are you?

S4 - ::proudly:: Sirius' 4th personality.  I'm the somewhat sane one.

R – Oh dear god! They're multiplying!

J – Sirius? Having a sane personality. . . right.

S – Hey! At least I have someone to talk to when you lot ignore me.

J – Yes.  And talking to yourself's perfectly normal.

S – When you talk to yourself, you're talking to someone who really loves you.

P – Strangely enough. . . that's never happened to me. . .

S2 – Oh!! That icing pattern looks like a circle.

S3 – I'd say it's more of a rock. . .

S – Oh dear merlin! We're going to be crushed by a giant boulder!!

::Sirius clings to his multiple personalities::

S4 – Oh, honestly. . .

S – Shut up you. . . you. . . Multiple personality!

S4 – That's an insult! I'm my own person. . .ality.  ::nods::

J – Someone kill me now. . .

R – Actually, I think it's quite amusing to watch Sirius argue with himself.

P – Says the werewolf. . .

::James stares shocked at Peter::



S3 – BLUE!

S4 – I hate my life. . .

J – Would the real Sirius please stand up? Please stand up? Would the real Sirius please stand up?    . . . .I think we're going to have a problem here.

S2 – I'm the real one.

S3 – No you're not! I'm the real one!

S – I think it's painstakingly obvious he is.

::The Sirius' look pointedly at James::

J – Hey! No! Wait! I don't want to be dragged into this!

S4 – Tough.

::James is dragged into the Sirius Personality War::

J – Help meeee. . . .

S – So anyway, Peter. . .

P – Said the Grim.

R – I see nothing in my icing.

P – Huh?

R – No, seriously, nothing! Someone's eaten it!

::Peter looks innocent::

P – dudududdudu. . .

::Remus glares at Peter::

::Peter points at Sirius::

P – He did it!

J - ::choking:: Gasp. . . choke. . . Little help here?

S – Take it like a man, boy.

R – You do realise you just contradicted yourself in that one sentence?

S – Oh go away Moony.

P – Said the Grim.

S – Would you stop it with this "Grim" business?!

R – But Padfoot, you are the Grim.  Or does Trewlaney see another dog at Hogwarts every now and again?

S – Well. . . I dunno. . . That Rose girl is pretty close to a dog. . .

J – That "Rose girl" is also my girlfriend

S – So?

J - . . . So get back to arguing with yourself.

S – If I go down I'm taking you with me!!!!

J – You'll never take me alive!!!

::Sirius and James begin a war with their wands as swords::

R – Did that just happen?

P – Did what just happen?

R – James and Sirius going to war over nothing. . .

P – Yup.

S2 – It's not nothing! They're going to war over our rights as Sirius' multiple personalities!

R – You have rights as a Multiple Personality?

S3 – Darn right we have rights.

S2 – The right to remain sexy!

S4 – The right to be annoying more like. . .

S3 – What was that, oh dearest #4?

::S2, S3 and S4 start bickering::

J2 – Duduhduhduhd duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun! James 2 to the rescue!

S - . . . Can anyone say "Copy right" ?

P – I can!! Copy-ri—oh. . .it was one of them non-answer questions. . .

R – Rhetorical.

P – Said the werewolf. . .

::James and Sirius's wands set alight the classroom, the class runs out::

J – Did you forsee this professor?

("Of course I did")

S – Then why didn't you cancel the lesson ahead of time?

("You cannot mess with fate, Mr. Black.  The classroom was fated to be burnt.")

J – My inner eye says. . . "Trewlaney's fate will be to see the Grim tonight."

S – Ah well, can't mess with fate.