This first part is weird, I know, but it's important to the story later on, if I decide to continue it, that is.

Please Read and Review so I know what to do with this. Thanks!

Oh, yeah, the beginning is bad, but it gets better nearing the end. 1+2.


Living Again: Part 1

This time I know why I came here. The city was just what I needed to clear my mind right now.

(Duo!) The voice started up again. No, I'm not crazy, hearing voices in my head. The voice is just there to guide me, or something, I guess, but I now curse the day it first uttered my name. It's been trying to tell me something for years, I know, but it always says that it's not time for me to know yet.

I had been plagued by that 'voice' for years, the one that has kept telling me that there's something left for me to live for, someone who needs my help. I know that it's hard to believe that someone like me could possibly be of any help to anyone, but to be perfectly frank, that's the only reason I've kept on living.

I think it has something to do with all those weird dreams I've been having lately. I keep coming back to the same mirror in the same room in the same house every time I have the dream. It just takes me there.

The mirror is decked with ancient inscriptions, and rusted with age. When I see myself in the mirror, I never see myself as I'd expect. My reflection is usually dressed in my priest's uniform, just as I am, and is an exact replica of me from the below waist-length braid to my wild violet eyes.

Yes, it was me all right, but there is a most notable difference between us. This mainly is was the pair of black wings that reflected off the mirror's perfect surface, protruding from between my shoulder blades. They came up sharply, almost like you would expect a bat's wings to, and I will always feel a kind of weight on my shoulders as if this distortion was, in fact, my true reflection.

The most mysterious part, though, is that when I look up to see if they are above me, I fall into a purple sort of hazy world where the 'voice' will sit me down and talk to me until I wake up.

However, if I wait long enough without letting my curiosity get the best of me, I am allowed into a second room that's usually bolted up when I enter the dream. Inside it there's nothing except an old framed picture of this really beautiful guy on the wall and a window on the wall next to him, that allows the moonlight to come in just enough so that I can make out his features. He has white wings, like an angel, and these really amazing, and intense blue eyes. I've often wished I could meet him, and spent nights talking to his picture on the wall. But a dream is a dream, and nothing more, ne?

(Duo! Hey you! Don't pretend like you don't hear me, buddy!) The impatient 'voice' huffed.

'Yeah, yeah, I hear you, but I should let you know that you're not going to talk me out of this. You're the reason I always have to leave, and this time, you're not going to stop me from traveling back here! This is the only home I've got.'

(Yes, I know that, Duo. I am sorry, but we couldn't take the chance of them finding your location.)

'Who are THEY? And what can't THEY find out?!!!'

(Sorry, Duo. You're too important to us, we can't risk telling you yet. We have a pretty good idea that you've been having the dreams already, but it's not safe enough.)

'Who are WE?!!!!' I swear, if this guy was in the physical world, he'd be sooooo dead. I've been asking him the same questions for years, and he refuses to give me any answers. He's always been there, and holds some sort of odd respect for me that I could never understand.

(We are your protectors. That is all you need to know. Goodbye, sir. Next time we meet you will understand.)

Good, I'll never see him again. There's no way I'm going to understand why I have to keep leaving, why I'm always hiding. It's no big loss, really; I never liked him, anyway.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The city has always felt like home to me, but right now, its just another place to hide from the faults of my past. Damn, I hate remembering!

Any other place might bring comfort at this time of night. But then again, even being in a dark alley right now would have be so comforting if it weren't for the words that were still ringing in my ears. 'We can't risk telling you yet'. Risk what? I ask you! What is so important in this life of mine that I have to protect it with my misery?

The truth is that I don't belong anywhere. Well, I sure showed them. I had given them what they wanted, and I...damn it all! I'm running away again. Why do I always have to be hiding?

Back in the big city, roaming the streets for a vacancy sign. It isn't helping me much, watching the city lights flashing up above me. It might as well be night for how luminescent the streets are.

I know I have to get out of this crowded part of town. That looks like a dreary enough alley, over there. I just hope I can find a room to stay the night. Yeah, I have some money, but it won't last me long. Not here, at least. I'd find a job soon, though. The city's full of odd jobs, and with my skills, and charming personality, it shouldn't be very hard to find one that suits me.

There it is! Up there, on the door sign, do you see it? 'Room for rent', uh huh. This is the place. I knock gently on the door, and wait for an answer.

This is a really dreary section of town, I know, but I might not even be able to afford what they're asking of me. It looks like this is a three- apartment building. Kind of run-down, but it will do very nicely.

"Hello," I tip my cap at the silent man who answered the door, "Duo Maxwell."

"Yes. Here for the room?" He doesn't seem like much of a conversationalist, but who is at this time of night?

I nod my head. Hell yeah. I'm a complete stranger knocking on your door at midnight; this should be a hint.

"Come in and sit down a moment," the man with long bangs covering one eye turned inside and clearly had gone to get something. Taking a seat, I look around the place. Not too bad. Could use a little paint, perhaps, but this is a better home then I've ever known. It didn't matter anyway, what kindness this person had to show me. I'll be leaving soon, I might need a friend, but I wasn't the kind to drag someone into a friendship that I couldn't keep. That's why I have to be so cold.

"My name's Trowa. I manage this place." He set a sandwich in front of me. Why the hell was this guy giving me food? I can't take it. I can't make any friends that I'd just bring pain to in the end. I was changing, ever so slowly, I knew.

I tried to put it out of my mind, but the black wings I have been seeing in my dreams have been becoming more of a reality. I could have sworn that just this morning while I was taking a shower that I felt two bumps between my shoulders when I was washing my hair. I checked all over my back, of course, once I got out, but nothing seemed to be wrong. I'm probably just imagining things.

"Please eat." The man said after seeing that I am a man of pride and I wasn't going to take the food without an honorable cause, "I don't get many visitors, I would like to show a bit of hospitality. You are hungry, am I right?"

I nod my head. It's true, I haven't eaten since half a roll at breakfast, but I refuse to make friends that I know I can't keep, and hunger is a price I have to pay. I push away the plate with a smile.

"I appreciate it, really, but I can't accept this. I come for a room, and that's all. I can't afford to be owing any favors."

Trowa nodded at this as he led me upstairs to my room. I'm glad he understands, or maybe he's just pretending. I wonder if everyone was only pretending. Is this life just to tease me? I'd probably be better off if I were dead. I close the door to the room behind me and bid my new manager good night.

If there was somebody who cared, they'd have found me already, but there isn't. And if that isn't enough to think about, I'm not even sure if I'm human anymore. What does fate have in store for me, I wonder. It's a cruel fate, this one that I'm destined to.

I collapse on the hard bed in exhaust. Doesn't anyone else understand how I feel? My angel would know. I drift off to sleep watching the clouds float across the moon lazily, just like me. Always drifting, with nowhere to go

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ (Dreaming) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

I'm in the house again, but I'm not afraid. I would recognize this dream anywhere, and I always know exactly where to go.

It's just as dark and cold as I remember it being here, but at least I have somewhere familiar to go back to, even if it isn't a home, but rather, a sanctuary. Admittedly, it is a very creepy sanctuary.

I walk up the creaky stairs to find a crooked landing with a couple of floorboards missing. It's no big deal. Just a minor thing, although I have noticed that the house has been crumbling in the many years I have occupied it in my dreams. I know just where I am supposed to go.

The room on the left is always so silent, and the door creaks closed behind me all on its own so that the only light on the antique mirror is that of the moon through the broken window. I silently step over to it to find the familiar reflection of myself in somewhat of a vampire form, with only the black wings creating our difference. And there it is again, the weight on my back of wings, the black wings in the mirror. I watch as the mirror copies my every movement, and I reach back to grab my braid. It seems to be the only thing that gives me comfort when I'm alone like this.

I don't dare look up for fear I will end up talking with the 'voice' again, and so I start to leave, something I had never attempted to do so far in my dreams. I am sick and tired of the wings and the dreams, and I want out! Pounding against the door, I feel tears streak against my cheeks and I start yelling at the dream.

"If anyone can hear me, anyone at all! Know that I am Duo Maxwell, and I am not the person who you think I am! I will not be a pawn in your games! Damn you all!" I let myself cry silently, but I refuse to sob. Loneliness is not something to cry over, you know, but I am weak. I always have been.

I feel, then, all of a sudden, an icy hand on my shoulder, and I am frightened that it feels so comforting. Did someone hear me? Did I offend them? Damn my mouth. I feel the hand slip off my shoulder as I spin around, and I feel my teary eyes open wide as I stare into beautifully intense blue eyes. My angel?

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

* smiles *

I know; cliffhangers are evil, but I love suspense.

Should I continue?

Please Review.

Thanks so much!!!!!