I think 10 chapters is long enough to wait, our girls are finally about to get their heads out of their asses. Enjoy!
The apartment becomes incredibly crowded.
Puck heads back to Lima, confessing that the city is not for him, and with another construction job lined up. He promises to call and try and visit as much as he can, and he and Quinn part on probably the best terms they're ever going to get to. Mike chooses not to go back with him. Unbeknownst to Quinn, he had applied to transfer into Julliard, and made it in. But through some mix up, financial or otherwise, there is no place for him in the dorms.
So, their apartment originally designed for two people—three at most—is now housing five and a toddler.
Rather than Mike having to spend all year on the couch, as he had during the summer; and Santana crammed in with Quinn and Beth, they find two cheep twin futons. (Getting them up into the apartment becomes an experience. Kurt's barely any help at all unless he's directing Sam and Mike, Santana's not much better; and at one point, Beth is riding one of the beds up the stairs before Quinn notices and yanks her off.) They put one in the little hallway that leads to nowhere, and with some rearranging of the living room, the other gets shoved into a corner away from the front door. Along with some new shower curtains, they've got a smaller living room and a four bedroom apartment.
It's not ideal, Santana has to hang the majority of her clothes in Quinn's closet, and Mike has a good chunk of his things in the boys room... but it's what a bunch of nineteen year olds can afford, and they're all sort of clinging together, hesitant to branch out and go it alone; and it works.
Brittany and Rachel manage to continue to be roommates for the next year, and Quinn goes up to help them unpack while Sam catches up on Beth's entire summer. She's not sure who was more excited to see the other, Beth, or Sam.
Quinn tries to get Santana to come with her, but she refuses; unwilling to face Brittany for fear of rejection. God, they're so similar sometimes it scares Quinn.
The minute she sees Rachel, everything she's been trying to force down and get over all summer comes rushing right back. It was easy—easier—to call her feelings a simple crush and realization of her sexuality when Rachel was hundreds of miles away; it's much more difficult seeing her in person.
Quinn has been a fucking idiot. She doesn't want girls, she wants Rachel. And oh, god how she wants her.
When Rachel squeals and jump-hugs her the second she sees Quinn, there is really no denying it anymore. Rachel in her arms feels right. Feels amazing. And it's over in a second. Before Quinn can get her bearings straight, Rachel pulls away from her and Britt wraps her up in the tightest of hugs. The change from Rachel to Brittany is jarring. Rachel's talking a mile a minute about... who even knows what, and Quinn just shoves her face into Britt's shoulder's, least she make a fool out of herself. Brittany notices though (Britt always notices) and her grip tightens immediately, looking down at Quinn in concern. Quinn just shakes her head, and mouths, 'later' before steeling herself and turning to Rachel with a forced smile.
The afternoon drags on, but Quinn doesn't retain anything either Rachel or Brittany say; too knocked out by everything she'd been trying to shove down inside of her. She remembers saying goodbye, Rachel hugging her again, Brittany slipping into her arms afterwords and hesitantly asking about Santana. She murmurs that Britt needs to call her herself. Quinn is not going to be the go-between for them. Brittany nods sadly and then gives Quinn a knowing look, nodding off towards Rachel. Quinn pinches her arm and shakes her head once, sharply. Britt just smiles at her and kisses her cheek before asking if she can see Beth tomorrow. Rachel's head lifts up at that, and she grins, adding that she'd like to see Beth as well. They make plans to go to the pool the next morning (it's still hot as all get out) and Quinn bolts.
On the subway, Quinn goes back and finally let's herself actually reflect on high school and nearly every interaction she can remember having with Rachel. God, how has she been so blind for so long? This isn't something that's going to just go away, Quinn's sure of that now. She had thought that the distance of summer and trying to go on dates would help, but she was an idiot. The longer she spends with Rachel, the more she craves it.
It's so stupid. It's... it's dumb things like the way she bites her lip when she is trying to concentrate. Or the way she blows her bangs up off her forehead when she's too hot; hands on her hips and attempting to glare at Brittany for moving a box to the wrong spot. Unable to hold it for more than a second before she bursts out into giggles, then a pout. Her little excited jump-skip when they finally get out of the hot dorm to find some food. Moaning happily as she presses a glass full of ice water to her forehead before she sips it. The way despite the heat, she is incapable of not touching them. As if she thinks Quinn and Brittany will somehow disappear if she doesn't get her hands on them every few minutes. Twisting Brittany's hair up into a bun, grabbing Quinn's forearm and squealing as a good song comes on. A light touch here, a tug at a skirt there, then moving on; lugging a box along until one of them takes mercy and helps her. Trying to hide a proud smile as she picks the lighter boxes and skips up ahead of them. Her inability to stop humming, or singing along to Brittany's music. Britt's laptop open up on a dresser, filling the room with dance music, beats thudding, shaking the whole suite. Rachel spinning into Brittany's arms and giggling before grabbing Quinn to join, the three of them spinning like little girls, arms stretched out and dizzy. Not enough room and knocking into each other, falling, toppling over into a pile. Sticky, hot, skin pressing together, shoving each other away in the heat and laughing; all fighting for the spot in front of the fan.
Quinn had smiled when she saw her display a photograph of all of them right front in center on her desk. They were huddled together in front of the Nederlander theatre before the summer started. They had gone to see Newsies, all piled together as Rachel directed an usher into capturing the moment on four separate phones and her camera. She's pressed against Quinn's side, Beth sitting between them, grinning madly; Sam and Kurt flanking them with Brittany and Santana behind, draping over their shoulders. All of them linked in someway.
The way she looks at Quinn, no one looks at her like that. Like she is... whole. A whole person who has value exactly as she is. It's somehow more than the way any of her other friends look at her. The only person who can make her feel like that is Beth, and Quinn suspects a lot of that has to do with being a toddler. Still young and full of wonder, not old enough to tell Quinn she has screwed up her life yet. And maybe it's just because of the way Quinn feels, and she's projecting something onto Rachel's face; but it feels good.
Quinn is gay.
And she's in love with Rachel Berry.
And she has no idea what to do about it.
The urge to call her mother is astounding, and Quinn doesn't know exactly where it is coming from. She's gone to her mother for advice many times, but... never for the big things. She never felt comfortable enough for that. The fear of disappointing her is always too great. Occasionally, she remembers going to Frannie. She'd be dismissed the moment she said the wrong thing, or Frannie became bored, sick of explaining things to Quinn. Far too old to deal with her childish problems. But every once in a while Frannie would pull her in. Show her how to do her makeup properly; tell her about kissing, show her what tampons were, a few cheerleading moves here and there, and on three separate occasions, allow Quinn to sleep in her bed when Judy and Russell's drunken fighting got loud enough to scare her.
Frannie has always loved Russell. Adored him. Quinn has never been able to understand how easily they get along. He yelled at Frannie in all the same ways he yelled at Quinn; but she'd only grit her teeth, twist her face together into a smile, and apologize. Always coming up with excuses for him, she was in the wrong, not daddy, never daddy. Quinn never managed to get as good at it as Frannie, she always carried resentment for Russell. Deep down. It never went away. It's the first time in forever that Quinn wonders if Frannie felt the same. It's that thought that makes her call her sister.
She picks up on the fifth ring. Long enough that she had to think about it, see that it was Quinn, decide to answer. Quinn sucks in a breath, suddenly unsure of why she's doing this. "Hi," she whispers.
"So, Mother's told you?"
Quinn frowns, "told me what?"
"About the baby?" Frannie sounds tired, and annoyed. Which is how she has always sounded when it comes to Quinn.
"Baby? Beth? What about her?"
Frannie sighs, "no, not yours, mine. I'm five months pregnant. Jerry's thrilled. He wants a boy. I have an appointment next week, they said we can find out. They couldn't tell last time. Wrong position or something."
Quinn flops down onto her bed, hard. This was not where she expected this conversation to go. And, despite her distance from her family, she can't believe that not one of them told her Frannie was pregnant for five whole months. "You're... you're pregnant?" she sputters, "why—" suddenly she's furious, "why didn't you tell me? You're already five months?"
"Don't be dramatic Quinnie." She says with a deep sigh, "you know now." Quinn bites down on the inside of her lip. When Frannie calls her Quinnie, it always bothers her more than when her mother does. A fact her sister is well aware of. "So, are you comparing notes? Or giving me advice?" Frannie chuckles. "It's odd isn't it? I never thought you'd have a baby before I did."
Quinn can hear Beth playing in the living room. Laughing along with... Mike she thinks. "Yeah... well."
Frannie shifts around, the phone going slightly static for a moment, then grunts. "Were you always so sore? I feel like a beached whale."
"Yeah, I farted a lot too." Quinn says, because she knows it will annoy her. Just as Quinn suspects, Frannie tuts at her. "You still puking?"
"No, thank god."
"Do you love Jerry?" Quinn blurts out after a minute or so of silence.
"What kind of ridiculous question is that? He's my husband."
"Yeah but... I mean you dated Rick like all through high school, but then you guys didn't get married even though everyone thought you would. And then you married Jerry when you were twenty-two. You... you've never really been with anyone else have you? Did you just know you only wanted him? And like... why'd it take almost three years for you to have kids? I know you wanted them."
"Not that it is really much of your business, but we've been trying for a while. There were some... complications on his end, but everything is sorted out now and it's fine."
Quinn sighs, "that doesn't really answer my question. Why didn't you marry Rick? Do you love Jerry?"
"What exactly brought all this on?" Frannie asks, "I'm tired."
"I just want to know. Are you happy?"
"I'm about to become a mother." Frannie says, as if it should explain everything.
Quinn doesn't think she's going to get much more out of Frannie, but really, she's got nothing to lose at this point by pushing. "But are you happy?" Quinn repeats. "Why didn't you marry Rick?"
Frannie sighs, and Quinn thinks she's just going to tell her off and hang up; but instead she drops her voice down to almost a whisper. "Rick wasn't a suitable husband. He... Father didn't approve because..." she coughs and trails off. "There wasn't a future with him." She says eventually.
"But why not?"
"Father said." Quinn can hear a hint of a sob in her throat and that's when she knows. Frannie had always been enamored with Rick. The few times she'd confided in Quinn, had been when she would gush about Rick and their inevitable life together. Quinn always liked him. He'd lift her up and spin her around, give her high fives whenever he saw her, and Frannie always treated her better when he was around; seeing that Rick liked Quinn. When she was eleven, she thought having him for a brother would be wonderful. He was there all the time, then suddenly, Frannie graduated and nothing. When Quinn asked during dinner once, Russell slammed his hands down on the table and told her to be quiet. At twelve, Quinn knew better than to push when he looked like that; and quietly finished her dinner, never asking about Rick again. Her own boy problems became important, Frannie married Jerry, and she forgot all about her would be brother. He must have done something Russell didn't approve of; not get into the right college, or refuse to fall in line with Russell. Now that Quinn thinks about it, he'd never seemed to like Russell all that much. They butted heads more than once.
"So, you broke up with him because Dad made you?" Frannie doesn't answer, but Quinn hears her suck in a breath and she knows she's right. Quinn decides to drop it. "But... you fell in love with Jerry right? You're happy?" The idea of Frannie being forced into a loveless marriage with someone just because Russell approves of him makes Quinn's skin crawl.
"Why wouldn't I be happy? I've got a beautiful house, my husband has a wonderful job, everyone is healthy and I'm about to become a mother."
"You keep listing things instead of saying yes." Quinn tells her.
"I—Quinnie, I'm tired and I'd like to go take a nap, what was it you needed?"
Quinn gives up, she's never going to get a straight answer out of her sister. But, she's sick of holding her tongue and pretending there aren't any problems in her family. If Frannie wants to, that's up to her, but Quinn is done. "Congratulations on being pregnant, I hope everything goes well." She says sincerely. "I'm sorry you couldn't marry Rick because of Dad; I always really liked him, and he was good for you." She hears Frannie suck in a breath, but just continues on. "If you want to see your niece, call and let me know sometime. I doubt Mom told you, but I'm gay. Being a mother is actually pretty great Frannie, I've never loved anyone like I love Beth, I hope you enjoy it. And... I love you." Quinn hangs up before Frannie gets a chance to respond. She's said all she needs to say. To her father, to her mother, and now to Frannie. The ball is in their court. She's not going to wait around for them to stop making her feel like shit anymore. If they want to be a part of Quinn's life, they know how to reach her. Quinn doesn't need their advice or validation anymore. It'd be nice, but she finally doesn't need it anymore.
Their sophomore year plows on. It takes a couple of weeks for them to get into a routine with all five of them that works, but they manage. (After the hot water is all gone one morning Kurt when gets into the shower, he comes out buck naked and shrieking. Beth accidentally climbs all over Santana and wakes her up while looking for a toy. Mike walks in on Sam and Kurt about to have sex looking for a t-shirt; he runs out, blushing and declares they need some new rules.)
Santana comes home one afternoon during her second week of school and announces that she's decided on a business major. Quinn raises an eyebrow at that. "Really? What do you want to do with it?"
"I'm gonna open up my own bar." She declares with a grin.
"Yup, piano bar. Maybe, or an upscale place, haven't decided yet."
"Huh, well... good for you." Quinn says, and smiles at her. Santana looks excited, practically vibrating, and Quinn envies her for settling on a major. She still barely has an idea of what she wants to do.
Sam is blowing through his nursing program with flying colors and starts taking some art classes; leaving unfinished doodles all over the apartment. Kurt designs him a pair of scrubs to wear, declaring the plain light blue ones aren't interesting enough and he should stand out. It sparks an idea for him, and he starts designing more and more clothes than normal. His general credits are nearly completely out of the way—he crammed most of them into last year. And he reapplies to Tisch and Pace, and applies to FIT as well. Everyone helps him get his portfolio together for FIT, modeling for pictures of his clothes. Beth proclaims herself his assistant and gets him coffee, holds fabric while he works, has an impromptu fashion show complete with a killer runway walk Kurt helps her with; and then barks orders at everyone while Quinn takes the photos and Kurt rearranges their clothes every five seconds.
He doesn't get in to either Tisch or Pace, and Quinn sees how disappointed he is despite his declarations otherwise. Everyone gives him all the hot water and extra cookies they make for a week and a half. Then he gets a letter from FIT stating he has been accepted for the spring semester and the living room explodes with even more clothes than it had before. They all go out for a celebratory dinner and Beth does a runway walk into every room she enters and tells all the children at the playground that her uncle designed her clothes.
Mike settles in at Julliard and starts practicing with Brittany again at least once a week, usually twice. Quinn watches Santana's face twist uncomfortably each time he heads out to meet her. By the third week, Quinn lays into her, screaming that if she wants to see Brittany she should just call her. She and Santana don't speak to each other for the entire week. The next monday, Santana comes home, slams the door and bursts into Quinn's bedroom. "I called Britt." she announces, "and we're going for dinner tonight to talk. I need something to wear." she stands there, arms crossed in front of her, looking apologetic and refusing to look Quinn in the eye.
Quinn sighs and stands up, going to her closet and pulling out a teal dress of Santana's that hugs her in all the right places. She throws it at her head. "Glad you decided to stop being a dumbass."
Santana glares at her and strips out of her clothes, pulling the dress on. "You gonna stop being a coward and ask out Berry?" She asks.
Quinn only glares at her and walks out into the kitchen.
The problem is she's not brave enough. Admitting to her cowardice sucks, but the facts are the facts and Quinn is a goddamn coward. Knowing how much she cares about Rachel now... the idea of rejection is too painful and scary. Instead, Quinn spends every free waking minute she has with Rachel and falls more and more in love by the day. She can't believe she was able to deny it for so long, the more time she spends with Rachel, the more she realizes these feelings have been growing for years. Quinn can't pinpoint exactly when, but Rachel's been on her mind in some form or another since the minute Quinn met her. Slowly, she tries to open up more, feeling giddy every time Rachel so much as smiles at her.
Their differences in their interactions are palpable. Rachel's definitely noticed, but she doesn't say anything about it. Quinn... is horrible at flirting, (like embarrassingly bad) but finds herself joking and doing something that sort of feels like flirting whenever she and Rachel are alone. It's what she can manage for now and it feels like a giant step forward to Quinn; even though she knows it's barely anything.
Rachel becomes incredibly busy as the semester goes on, after she gets the role of Cinderella in Tisch's fall production of Into the Woods. Their interactions are delegated to mostly texts throughout the day, but even that makes Quinn grin every time her phone dings.
Mike starts spending a lot of time with Brittany and Rachel, and he pops up in conversations Quinn and Rachel have frequently. At first, Quinn doesn't think much of it—she has enjoyed getting to know Mike as well—but the more it happens, and the more it seems like Rachel is... considering something, Quinn starts to get worried. When they all manage to find a weekend to hang out before Halloween (Quinn drops Beth with Mrs Landingham) she finds herself watching the two of them interact. Rachel is giggly and keeps touching Mike as she laughs; falling into his chest at one point in the night in tears from laughing so hard. Quinn can barely contain her jealousy. Santana reaches over and pinches her thigh under the table. "Cool it Fabray." She hisses. Quinn ignores her, and sulks the rest of the night. Remaining in the booth while everyone dances. They're all paired off anyway now that Rachel is dancing with Mike. She's the only odd one out.
Near the end of the night, Rachel comes over, tripping over herself a little. She's drunk. Not overtly so, but enough. "Quinn!" she yells with a smile, and flops into the booth (and into Quinn) "come dance!"
"No thanks." Rachel pouts, linking her arms around one of Quinn's. "My feet hurt." Quinn says, "and I should get back. Beth you know..."
Rachel rests her head on Quinn's shoulder and sighs. "Do you like Mike?"
Quinn freezes, "why... do you?"
Rachel sits up, pulling away from Quinn and suddenly looking much more sober than she had a second ago. "I do." She says, "he's... you know I never really spent much time with him in high school but... I think he's the best guy I've ever met apart from Sam. And, Sam's taken. By my best friend. So that's out. But..." she looks right into Quinn's eyes and Quinn does everything she can not to squirm. "I'm lonely." Rachel admits. "I mean I'm fine, I have my friends, and school, and I love it all I really do but..." she shrugs, "all my friends are paired off it seems. Or most of them. And... I don't know, it'd be nice to be with someone."
"Yeah," Quinn chokes out, "I... know how you feel."
"Do you?" Rachel asks. Quinn stares at her, there's a different question in Rachel's eyes; but Quinn has no idea what it is. The dim light in the club is glowing right above Rachel, and she looks stunning. Quinn is aching to kiss her. To tell her to forget Mike, to pick her. Then neither of them will be lonely. And she leans forward and almost does so, only stopping herself as her lips are nearly on Rachel's. Rachel lets out a small gasp and Quinn freezes; realizing what she's about to do, and yanks her face back, almost shoving Rachel out of the booth as she practically jumps over her to get out.
"I'm sorry I... I'm sorry." Quinn apologizes, and backs away. Rachel reaches out, trying to get ahold of Quinn's arm and pull her back. But Quinn grabs her purse, apologizes again and runs. She can hear Rachel calling for her to stop, but she just sprints down the sidewalk and into the subway. She's shaking. She almost kissed Rachel. There isn't really any denying or offering up an explanation for what she just did; it was obvious, even to a drunk person. The idea of Rachel and Mike dating just made her... oh god she's an idiot. Quinn has no idea how she's going to ever be able to face Rachel after this.
She gets off the subway and finally slows down, trying to get herself together before going to retrieve Beth.
She should have just kept running.
Footsteps jog towards her and a voice that she'd recognize anywhere yells out "Quinn! Wait!" Rachel has followed her. As much as she wants to just sprint away, Quinn knows Rachel won't let up. If she's followed her this far, she'll barge into her apartment. Rachel's relentless. Quinn stops in the middle of the sidewalk, face bright red and teary, trying to come up with an excuse for almost kissing Rachel that she'll believe.
Rachel catches up, panting a little and out of breath. She immediately grabs hold of Quinn's arm. "Don't run away. Oh... I am not in shape anymore." She pants, doubling over and griping Quinn's forearm tightly. "I—" she stands, never letting go of Quinn, as if she's afraid Quinn will bolt the minute she releases her. (She might.) "Quinn, please, we need to talk. Can we go upstairs?"
"Rachel..." Quinn hears the agony in her voice and hates it. "I need to get Beth, it's late and..."
"We can get her, and put her to sleep and then I need to talk to you."
"How about tomorrow?" She asks. It sounds like begging, she wants to scream.
Rachel shakes her head, "if I leave now, you'll avoid me for weeks."
"Quinn Fabray I know you." she says firmly. "Avoidance is something you excel at." There really is no arguing with that, so Quinn just sighs and pulls her arm away gently. They start walking slowly up to Mrs Landingham's apartment, Rachel just a step behind Quinn.
They pick up an already sleeping Beth. As Quinn lifts Beth up into her arms, she smiles despite the state she's in as Beth cuddles into her instinctively.
Quinn keeps her gaze forward, only daring to glace at Rachel out of the corner of her eye. She ducks into her bedroom with Beth, telling Rachel she'll be right back. For about half a second, she considers just locking her door and trying to sleep. Rachel wouldn't bang on it and chance waking Beth up. But, it would be cruel. Quinn is sick of hurting people. This is her fault, and she needs to deal with it. She can handle one night, she'll apologize, and then probably avoid Rachel for the rest of her natural born life.
Quinn bends down and kisses Beth's temple, holding herself there for a moment and just taking in her kid. It calms her down and she takes a deep breath and goes out to meet Rachel.
She is in the kitchen, making coffee and tapping against the floor anxiously with her foot. Even with how nervous Quinn feels, she can't help but think how beautiful Rachel looks. She hears Quinn and turns, letting out a sigh of relief. "I thought you wouldn't come out." She says.
"I thought about it." Quinn admits, and remains standing in the doorway, arms crossed protectively in front of herself.
Rachel's foot stops tapping, and she leans back against the counter, facing Quinn head on. "So, you tried to kiss me." she says pointedly.
Quinn coughs, "so... jumping right in are we?" she tries to joke. Rachel makes a face at her, and the coffee finishes percolating. Popping and crackling, the only noise filling the room. "Can we just—pretend it never happened?" Quinn begs. "I'm sorry, it's—it won't happen again I was just..."
Rachel steps forward, ignoring the coffee and Quinn finds herself backing away until she's trapped against the wall. Rachel keeps walking towards her, and finally lifts her arms, pulling Quinn's from where they are crossed in front of her, and joining their hands at Quinn's side. Quinn can feel her skin tingling where Rachel's fingertips touch hers. She lets out a sigh and Rachel smiles shyly up at her.
"You almost kissed me." She repeats.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't..." Quinn pulls her hands away and slips out to the side, heading over to the coffee maker. She busies herself with getting out mugs, preparing coffee for both of them, needing to stall. She sips hers before it's cool enough and burns her tongue, wincing to herself. "Rachel, I—"
"I know you're a lesbian Quinn." Rachel says, interrupting; and takes the mug Quinn has neglected to pass over to her. Quinn's eyes snap up to Rachel's in a panic. Rachel smiles lightly at her, brushing her hand against Quinn's forearm. "Brittany told me. Accidentally. A week or so ago."
Rachel sips her coffee, smiling widely at her for a second before her face drops. "You could have told me." She says, plaintively.
"I was going to. Eventually."
"Quinn I could have—"
"Given me some lecture about how wonderful it is to be gay? Complete with a power point and subsequent blind dates? Drag me to gay clubs and events to 'embrace my people' or something. Yeah, no. I wasn't really ready for that."
Rachel chuckles and tries to glare at her, but can't quite manage it. She slaps the side of Quinn's arm lightly instead. "I wouldn't have done that." She insists. "A minor speech perhaps." She shrugs and Quinn can't help but grin back at her.
They stand impossibly close, sipping their coffee together for a moment and Quinn forgets to panic. Rachel seems to be the only person Quinn knows that can cause her to feel both incredibly uncomfortable, and perfectly calm. Often at the same time.
"What else did Britt tell you?" Quinn asks after a minute.
"Nothing, except not to tell you she told me. Which I've now blown, but in retrospect I think it's okay. You're not angry with her are you?" Quinn shakes her head and Rachel looks relieved. "So... the almost kiss was that you... experimenting?"
"Um—" now Quinn really wants to run; go hide in her bedroom and never come out. "—no. I sort of did that already."
Rachel's eyebrows shoot up, and if Quinn's not mistaken, she sees a hint of jealousy on her face. She's not above admitting that she likes it. "You've kissed other girls?"
"Well, one. And Santana. Sort of." Rachel eyes go comically wide. "We agreed never, ever to do it again." Quinn says quickly. "I wouldn't mention it to her, unless you have a death wish."
"Right." Rachel trails her finger along the top of her mug, "so... the other girl?"
"A blind date over the summer. Santana set it up." Quinn shrugs. "It didn't really amount to anything."
"Why not?" Rachel asks, almost shyly.
Quinn swallows. Rachel has been calm and polite about this so far, and Quinn knows that if she tells her the truth, she'll continue to do so. It might be awkward for a while, but if she hasn't been able to rid herself of Rachel by now, she doubts admitting to a crush will be the thing to do it. "I—like someone else." She whispers, looking down at the floor.
Rachel abandons her mug of coffee now, and Quinn can nearly feel her, pressed incredibly close, their bodies only an inch or so apart. She turns her face up, and Quinn has no choice but to look directly into Rachel's eyes. "Who?" she whispers, and waits, their faces too close together. Quinn can feel Rachel's breath on her lips and she lets out a small sigh. Unable to help herself. Rachel takes that as a cue, and lifts up just that much more, pressing her lips ever so lightly to Quinn's. Quinn whimpers into it, and Rachel reaches up then, pulling Quinn closer and deepening the kiss. Quinn's hands snake around Rachel's hips of their own accord and she feels Rachel buck against her. Knocking her body into the kitchen counter. Quinn moans. They kiss until they need to come up for air, and then Quinn's knees give out slightly, and she pulls away from Rachel and runs her fingers through her hair.
"Why did you do that?" she asks. "Rachel I—don't do that again. I—I don't just like you... I..." Rachel steps forward, reaching for Quinn, but she pulls back into herself, crossing her arms and Rachel hesitates.
"Quinn, I like you too." She says, calmly with a hesitant smile.
"No... you said... you and Mike..."
"I asked about Mike to see what your reaction would be. Which, I'll admit was a bit rude of me, but I think you'll agree it was effective."
"I—" Quinn shakes her head, this cannot be real.
"Quinn, I think I've had feelings for you for a while now. I didn't realize what they were until Brittany told me you were gay. I think..." she pauses, trying to find the right words. "I'm intense." Quinn snorts, that's an understatement if she's ever heard one. Rachel makes a face at her before continuing on. "I'm intense in all my relationships, platonically or not and I just never... I thought it was just that. Me being intense. But once Brittany said you were gay... I realized that the things I feel for you aren't platonic in the least. Or, at least they go beyond that. I just never considered that an option, because I thought it wasn't. For gods sake, I dated every boy you did." She says with a small chuckle. Quinn bursts out laughing at that, unable to keep quiet; and then they're both laughing loudly. Almost manically. Bent over, clutching their sides, uncontrollably. Quinn hears Beth whining in her sleep and covers her mouth, trying to keep quiet.
"Shush," Quinn waves at Rachel, who claps both hands over her mouth, still giggling. "Hopefully she'll stay asleep." They both stand as still as they can manage, listening for Beth, but she seems to have quieted down. Quinn turns back to Rachel with a shy smile. "Do you really mean all that?" She whispers, unable to contain her hope.
Rachel beams at her and steps closer, holding her hand out. Quinn takes it without hesitation and it feels right, their hands intertwined. "Yes." She smiles, and steps up, not quite needing to be on her tip toes and presses a light kiss to Quinn's lips.
"I—" Quinn doesn't know what to say to that. She feels like maybe she's dreaming. This can't be real. Rachel can't actually reciprocate her feelings. Never in her life has Quinn been this lucky. Rachel must be able to read all of that on her face, because she slips her arms around Quinn's waist; holding her tightly. Quinn sighs into her and wraps her arms around Rachel, kissing the top of her head. She's never felt this wonderful in her life.
So of course her daughter comes padding into the room, crying and squeezing herself in between them, ruining the moment.