A/N: I hope you enjoy all the d'Artagnan whump in this story and please let me know what you think!

Sticks and Stones

Chapter 1

'Sit still.'

'I am!'

'And stop fidgeting!'

'It hurts!'

Constance sighed and readjusted her grip on the tiny needle. 'If you would just stay still-'


Constance swore heartily as d'Artagnan wrenched his hand out of hers, causing him to look at her in wide-eyed amazement.

'That's it!' she exclaimed. 'I give up!'

'But, Constance-'

She shook her head and strode out of the room, d'Artagnan following behind her, with one hand clenched around his finger.

'If you aren't going to cooperate, I'm not going to help you,' she said, cursing again as a heavy knock on the door let her know that she had visitors. Ignoring d'Artagnan's injured look as she swept by him, she opened the door with more vehemence than was probably necessary so that it swung back on its hinges and hit the wall with a bang.

The three musketeers standing outside, however, seemed unbothered by her abrupt appearance.

'Good evening, Madame Bonacieux,' said Aramis, removing his hat with all the flair of his usual manners. 'May d'Artagnan come out and play?'

She glanced back over her shoulder to see d'Artagnan hovering in the shadows behind her, now sucking on his offending finger, presumably in an effort to ease the pain.

'He may,' she said, turning back. 'But - my apologies - I must ask for your assistance with something first.'

'We are at your service, of course,' said Aramis, delivering her a bow that was echoed by his companions.

She smirked. 'Well, I am afraid that poor d'Artagnan has a splinter,' she said, ignoring the betrayed exclamation that sounded from behind her, that was quickly followed by the sound of hasty movement. She stepped aside to let the already grinning musketeers enter before closing the door behind them and continuing. 'And I need your help to hold him down.'