Heading Out Toward Home
A/N This is the third story in the 'Home' series of Sam/Tim. The series began with Every Road Leads Home and continued with The Winding Road Leads Home. I hope you'll read those first. Please review.
Spending nearly two weeks with Sam Winchester at the men of letters bunker, even with Dean alternating between glares and confused looks, was thrilling to Timothy McGee. He'd convinced Sam he should start the long process of scanning the library into digital format so that eventually, the brothers would have the enormous resource searchable from anywhere. They spent at least a couple of hours each day working on it, and the rest of the time talking, taking long walks together, reading, listening to the vintage records, and even watching movies with Dean.
"I would absolutely love to introduce you to my partner Tony, Dean. You two would be able to go on for hours about movies," Tim said after watching (re-watching, in Dean's case) Death Wish. Tim and Sam had kept glancing at each other through the film, but they'd seen how much Dean was enjoying himself and so they'd suffered through the viewing.
Afterward, Dean had been re-enacting his favorite lines, miming shooting bad guys and singing the praises of Charles Bronson as a tough guy. He'd paused at the mention of Tim's partner. "He's not another queer, is he?" Dean asked flippantly. Sam tensed, coiling to strike, but Tim stopped him.
"Tony is a bit of a womanizer. You'd like him, I bet. Just, don't use the word queer around him," Tim said mildly.
"Or anyone," Sam muttered darkly. Tim glanced at him but did not respond.
"While he is quite a man's man, he'd take offense."
"Because he's protective of me. Like a brother. He'd never let anyone else insult me," Tim smiled. "I think he reserves that right for himself."
Dean frowned and threw a, "Whatever," comment out, but he seemed thoughtful and soon withdrew to his room.
The following morning, Tim made sausage and pancakes, doing them up as pigs in blankets. Sam arched a brow at the choice, but Tim just smiled. Dean's reaction was enthusiastic, however, and Sam watched Tim after that, suspicious. They were mostly through eating when Tim struck. "I didn't seduce your little brother," Tim told Dean. It was something he'd sensed from Dean: suspicion.
"What?" Sam's head snapped back and forth between his lover and his brother. "You don't think that, do you?" Sam scoffed. Dean shrugged.
"Well you've never gone gay before- "
"I haven't 'gone gay' now! We're-" Tim stopped him with a touch to his arm. Sam turned on Tim in his annoyance. "How did you know he thought that?" He turned back to Dean. "How could you think that?"
"Sam, he's a big brother. I get it. Dean, this relationship is about our emotional connection. Believe me, the physical side of it was a total surprise to both of us. I care about your brother more than anything, and I would never hurt him or try to get him to do anything he doesn't want to do," Tim spoke with the utmost sincerity, and though Dean frowned, Tim thought the message had been received.
Watching Zombieland that night, Dean suggested a drinking game. "We drink when a rule pops up, when anything gets killed, when someone says the name of a place, and when anyone says zombie."
Sam stared at him. "Seriously?"
Tim laughed. "Sounds fun." Sam turned to look at him, one eyebrow raised. "Sounds like a disaster, but it sounds fun. C'mon, Sam, let's try." Sam's eyes narrowed, but he couldn't see any subtext contradicting Tim's words in his eyes.
Thinking fast, Sam turned to Dean. "You drink whiskey. Tim drinks beer. I alternate, otherwise it's not fair."
Dean laughed. "You do know you're setting yourself up for the worst hangover of any of us, right? But okay, I'll handicap you guys," Dean chortled as he brought the bottled supplies out so they were ready. "Let's do this!" Sam double checked with a look to Tim, but he was still smiling, so Sam shrugged and picked up a beer.
Not long into the movie, Sam was glad they'd agreed as he listened to Tim giggle. He'd been pretty serious since their near break-up, so seeing him unwind let some part of Sam relax that he hadn't known was tense. Dean kept up his normal commentary of yelling at the screen, but the more they drank, the less it bothered Sam. Tim leaned against Sam, laughing hard at a scene, and Sam put his arm around him. From there, the tipsy giggling became surreptitious groping with innocent looks whenever Dean glanced over. By the time the credits rolled, Sam had one leg crossed with his ankle on his knee trying to hide his tented jeans and Tim was half-curled up against him on the couch, the position also hiding his arousal.
"You two... I'm glad you liked the movie, but you're like a couple of teenagers! I'm going to bed and I don't want to hear anything, got it?" Dean frowned as he stood up and stretched. His stride was rock steady even with all the alcohol he'd imbibed, and Tim also frowned for a moment, understanding anew the level of drinking Dean must do regularly to have such a tolerance. As soon as Dean was out of sight, Sam's tongue in his ear distracted Tim from any further contemplation.
"You really wanna try to have sex with your brother in the next room?" Tim asked. Sam's hand slid under his shirt and pinched his nipple in response, working his mouth down Tim's neck, biting and sucking. Tim moaned and Sam sat up.
"Oh shit," Tim muttered, knowing that neither of them was quiet during sex. He turned and bit Sam hard on the neck and he yelped. "Shhh," Tim smirked. Sam rolled his eyes, and they laughed. Heading back to Sam's bedroom, they stumbled slightly. Tim giggled again and Sam grinned at him.
"I love that sound. Have I told you that I love that sound? Baby, your laugh, that little giggle, is so adorable..." He went on; babbling about the unbearable cuteness of Tim, and Tim just shook his head. In the bedroom, Sam pulled Tim down with him as he reclined on the bed. "Oh, baby, you're just... Perfect," Sam sighed.
"I'm not perfect, Sam, and I'm uncomfortable with you saying that," Tim protested.
"To me you are," Sam shrugged the request away. Tim compressed his lips.
"The first time I do something glaringly not perfect, what's gonna happen?" Sam gave him what looked disturbingly like a Gibbs 'don't ask stupid questions' look. Tim looked away.
"No pressure..." He muttered. Sam took him by the chin to be able to look at him eye to eye.
"You are perfect: for me. You are more than I ever hoped for. You're...you're my light, you know that. My sun. My moon and stars," Sam's eyes were shining like Tim had never seen. "You make me feel safe and loved and all snuggly and fuzzy." Tim cocked an eyebrow at the odd turn of phrase. "You're so smart and sexy and you're just a-fuckin'-mazing in bed, dude, like, outta this world," Sam was slurring, babbling, but Tim couldn't bear to stop him, he wanted to hear what crazy shit was going to come next. "I've come more since we got together than in the last, like, five years... Well, the last two anyway. I fucked a lot when I didn't have a soul. Like, a LOT, but baby it's so good with you and when we're apart I just beat off in the shower - sometimes twice a day - just thinking about you, god, your mouth. That fuckin' lip. That big 'ole pouty lip I just wanna - wanna- " He did it, then. He sucked on Tim's bottom lip, licking and tonguing it, moaning. Tim waited. It felt really weird, but Sam was enjoying it, and Tim had had enough beer to be docile and patient.
Sam eventually moved on and began kissing Tim in a more normal fashion. The thought of Sam masturbating in the shower thinking of him began to take hold of Tim's drunken imagination, and he moved, rolling over on top of Sam and humping against the hard lump he felt. "Tell me more about what you do in the shower," Tim said, releasing Sam's mouth and moving to his neck, his hands starting to unfasten Sam's shirt. Sam laughed, loudly, and a faint pounding came through the wall, Dean indicating his displeasure hearing them.
"Shhh, shhh," Tim giggled, putting his finger to Sam's lips. Sam grinned and sucked the finger into his mouth, sliding his tongue over it, down, probing at the webbing between his first and second digits. Tim's eyes grew wide and his lips formed a little circle. "Oh." Sam grinned then sucked hard enough to make Tim's fingertip throb, and the answering throb he felt in his groin made him groan. Releasing Tim's finger, Sam shifted their positions, pulling his shirt off and settling back down, legs entwined with Tim's so they could grind against one another's thighs. Then he set about removing Tim's shirt, slowly. The buttons seemed smaller than he remembered, and he frowned, then growled, then shrugged and yanked.
"Sam!" Tim whined, and there was more wall pounding. Buttons had flown wildly and Tim could tell from the ripping sound that the shirt was ruined. Sam laughed, stifling his own outburst as he mockingly shushed Tim. They both dissolved into giggles. "Dean's gonna be pissed," Tim whispered.
"Dean's always pissed," Sam replied. He moved them again, and Tim went with it, laying with Sam spooned behind him, his big hand more deftly unfastening Tim's pants and reaching in to free his throbbing cock. Tim bit both of his lips, sealing in the moan at the feel of Sam's calloused hand wrapping around him and beginning to stroke. Sam put his chin up on Tim's shoulder and whispered in his ear. "You wanna know what I do in the shower?" Tim nodded emphatically. "I start thinkin' about your hot mouth wrapped around my cock, getting me super hard, and I kinda give a little twist like this- " he had the head enveloped in his fingers, two on the head, two on the shaft, and with his wrist moving, stimulated Tim's dick right at his most sensitive point before taking another stroke down. When his hand came back up, he did it again and Tim shuddered and he arched back against where he could feel Sam's hard-on against his ass. "And then I'll start thinking about going down on you, and how good you taste and smell, and the smooth skin on my tongue when I'm deep-throating you, getting you all slick and ready and your voice saying my name over and over, it sounds like a prayer, baby, and then palming your ass and pulling you deep into me, god, you filling me up, and I have to brace myself against the wall, 'cause I'm working my dick so good, and I'm shakin' and thinkin' of how you feel pushing into me, spreading me open and just sliding home, it's like home, you're so hard, just hittin' it and hittin' it and I have to grit my teeth or just fuckin' scream thinkin' about you coming inside me, and sometimes I'm just poundin' the wall and fuck, I miss you so much-"
Tim was panting, ready to explode with the hand-job and Sam's words, and he grabbed Sam's hand and stopped him, they turned over and Tim yanked Sam's pants off, and Sam moved and leaned down to suck on Tim, just enough to leave him slick and ready and Tim shoved Sam's legs up, raising his ass, ready for him, so ready, Tim pushed and Sam opened and Sam gritted his teeth and moaned low, deep in his throat and Tim choked, trying not to cry out at the heat and the grip, then he was thrusting, the friction so strong he could feel Sam turning inside out a little, but Sam's hips were meeting every deep movement, and his eyes were like fire, blazing his desire, his need, and his cock was jumping between them so Tim leaned forward so it could rub against his belly while he covered Sam's mouth with his own and they groaned into each other's mouths, stifling the sound while they writhed and Tim was shoving in - so deep - so hard, they were scooting up the bed until Sam was crushed against the headboard and Tim grabbed it for more leverage, deeper, harder, faster, and Sam's mouth was open in a silent howl as he came and Tim came, the bed rattling against the wall and Dean pounding and they didn't care they just came and came and came.
Afterward, they curled together, Sam's head on Tim's chest, Tim gently stroking his hair until Sam's breathing deepened and Tim knew he was asleep. Every moment with Sam was precious now. Sam had changed his mind, by some miracle, he'd chosen not to send Tim away like he'd first intended when he'd discovered they had been forced to fall in love. Tim wanted badly to believe that Sam was now utterly committed to him, but the night when Sam had tried to make him leave had left his trust broken. Sam was such an amazing person, strong and handsome, intelligent and funny, loving and compassionate; Tim had a tiny voice inside him telling him that he wasn't worthy of the love of such a person. So he shielded a part of himself and tucked away each memory he now created with Sam. Maybe if he had enough moments to cherish and recall he'd be able to survive when - if - something finally made Sam decide to leave him. Careful not to wake him, Tim kissed Sam's forehead and closed his eyes to sleep.