The windows were locked again.
Jack's stomach fluttered with disappointment as he pushed against them again, hoping Jamie might crawl out of his warm bed to tell Jack that really, he had locked them by accident, not because he wanted to keep Jack out. But Jack knew that this wasn't true, and would never be true— ever since Jamie had turned 15 he had started locking the windows when he wanted "alone time".
The first time Jack had come to the windows and had found them locked, he had waited outside Jamie's room all night until dawn. The next morning Jamie had tried to explain(rather uncomfortably) that he sometimes needed "alone time" at night for personal stuff. He did not specify when Jack asked him what kind of personal stuff, which made Jack feel a twinge of sadness that his most beloved believer couldn't trust him with secrets.
And anyways, why would anyone want "alone time"? Jack did not understand why Jamie would ever want to that. Being alone was horrible. Absolutely dreadfully awful and depressing and maddeningly boring.
But even though Jack found the windows to Jamie's room locked 7 times out of 10, he kept coming back on the sliver of a chance that Jamie might want to play outside with him, or just talk about stuff. Jack desperately wanted someone to just talk to, and Jamie always listened to what he said with wide eyed wonder. Well, at least he used to. Jamie was 18 now, and it seemed like he was getting tired of the frost spirit, which made Jack more fearful than one could imagine.
Jack stared at the window numbly. His entire being was flooded with dread and sadness and his heart beat erratically as the panic swept over him in pulsing waves. This was the third time this week, and it was Thursday already. Jamie was always busy with school, and Jack was busy with guardianship, and whenever Jack came to visit Jamie the windows were locked. Jack wasn't sure if he even really liked the new Jamie at all.
When Jamie had first begun to sprout up during his first bouts of puberty, Jack had passed the strange behavior from the boy off as the adorable time of change that occurred during adolescence. Even the locking the windows thing Jack could deal with in moderation(that was back when it was only once or twice a week). But when their conversations became stilted, uncomfortable small talks that usually lasted for a maximum of 5 minutes before Jamie blushed and stammered that he had to go, Jack could not help but feel annoyed and angry. The only time they ever had fun together now was when they were playing in the snow, and even then, Jack had to forcibly drag Jamie out of the house and into the snow drifts.
It was a real shame that Jamie didn't play with him as often in the snow anymore, now that he was a full fledged 18 year old, he was finally a fair match to Jack in a snowball fight, throwing with better precision and more force than he ever could as a small child. Jamie wasn't a child at all anymore, actually. His face had lost all of its baby fat, melting away to reveal a strong jaw and high cheekbones that still blushed when Jack mentioned the name "Pippa".
Jack had noticed long ago Pippa's growing attraction towards Jamie(who was completely clueless but still smitten with her). The way she'd inch towards him and hang on his every word. Or how she'd go out of her way to meet him in between classes at school…
Okay so maybe Jack had been doing a little spying on Jamie and Pippa, but it was only for their own good! Jamie had liked Pippa for pretty much ever(or at least Jack thought so) and she hadn't even paid him a single glance until he had joined the soccer team and gotten all hot and strong.
Pippa was no good for Jamie, she only wanted him for his looks and popularity… It made Jack feel all gross inside when he saw her making goo goo eyes at his Jamie. Well Jamie wasn't exactly his... per se.
Jack had never thought he was particularly short; usually he was surrounded by young children who were half his size. But next to Jamie he felt miniscule… and he felt even smaller when he was embraced by the young man(although this was a rare occasion). Jack had watched in fascination as Jamie's scrawny, awkward little body grew into a strong set of broad shoulders and lean muscle that tapered into a narrow waist. He stood a few inches taller than the frost spirit; something about that stirred something in Jack he couldn't quite put a finger on. Jack felt so small and protected standing next Jamie's overwhelming tallness and broadness. Which was kind of ironic considering that Jack was Jamie's guardian and not vice versa.
Jack took a deep breath and rubbed the frost off of the window to peer into Jamie's room. Jamie was in his bed, and his little bedside lamp was on. Jamie was stretched out under the covers of his bed with his computer on his lap. Jack pulled away quickly from the window, afraid of being caught. Was he reading something secret? Was that what he did in his personal time? Jack had attempted many times to try and catch Jamie in the act of whatever he was doing, but never had any luck. He only ever saw Jamie sitting mysteriously with his laptop, innocently doing whatever he was doing on it. Homework? Video games? Movies perhaps. Jack had watched a lot of movies.
He looked into the room again to see if Jamie had noticed. If the boy had seen Jack at the window, he gave no indication, continuing his boring activities.
Jack slumped against the side of the Bennett's house, completely and utterly bored and sad that he had no one to talk to or play with. He was haplessly wallowing in his own misery when he suddenly heard a soft keening sound slip through the cracks of Jamie's window and out into the still winter night.
Had Jamie made the sound? Jack peered back into the bedroom, ready to inquire what was wrong, rush to Jamie's aid, put out a fire, whatever it need be.
From Jack's vantage point he could see that Jamie was moving restlessly, laptop discarded to rest on the floor by his bed, eyes squeezed too tightly to possibly indicate sleeping. His face was flushed and his dark hair was matted to his forehead with sweat as he writhed underneath his navy blue bedspread. That broad chest was heaving like nothing he had ever seen, filling Jack with panic and fear. Furthermore, it seemed as though the strange sound Jack had heard earlier was coming from Jamie; the boy continued to moan and groan and he turned from side to side.
Jack was getting nervous. Jamie sounded really really hurt… Maybe he was having a nightmare… Or he was trying to hide his pain from his family? Or maybe he was passing a kidney stone!
The last thought determined the next course of action Jack decided to take. Kidney stones were bad news, or at least Jack was pretty sure that they were, and Jamie probably needed help.
Shattering the windows seemed like the most suitable thing to do in that moment, so Jack did. However, it turned out he wasn't as strong as he thought he was, and when he attempted to kick break the thick panes of glass he only hurt his foot. The glass didn't budge or even crack a little bit. However, the noise did not go unnoticed by Jamie, who ran to the window to see none other than Jack Frost, clutching his foot and whimpering in pain. Jamie was clearly alarmed and caught off guard by Jack's appearance.
"J-Jack?" Jamie stuttered incredulously. "What the fuck are you doing in here!? I locked the windows! That means don't come in—" he was cut off by an anxious and doting frost spirit.
"Jamie, are you okay? You look so flushed and feverish…" Jack pressed their foreheads together to check temperature like he saw in those movies. Jack had watched A LOT of movies. But the good intentions of the action seemed to just make Jamie burn even brighter(if that was possible).
"I'm fine." Jamie was avoiding eye contact like a mastermind. He was still panting pretty heavily as he carded a hand through his shaggy hair. Jack couldn't help but admire(and envy) how strong Jamie looked; Jack was willing to bet that Jamie would not have sprained his ankle trying to break a window open.
"I'm sorry for trying to come in even though you locked the windows, but I stopped by because I wanted to play and then I saw you looking all sick—" Jamie cut him off.
"Did you see anything?" Jamie's voice was low and husky.
"Ummm well you looked really flushed and sweaty. And you kept thrashing around and making these weird noises… like moans…?" Jack trailed off as his mind began to catch up with the interpretation of the situation at hand.
Jamie. Innocent little Jamie, now soiled by adulthood and dirty thoughts. Those innocent amber eyes were dark and hooded, jaded by mean friends and sexual frustration.
Jamie. The little boy wide eyed with wonder when they first stood in this room conscious of each other.
Jamie. The teenager standing in front of him dressed in only a pair of boxers with a rather prominent erection visibly outlined by the constricting fabric… Cheeks still flushed with desire and arousal, chest heaving visibly, soft pants leaving his mouth like sweet music to Jack's ears-
Jack blushed bright pink(just because he was the spirit of winter didn't mean he was completely dead). Jamie seemed to acknowledge Jack's dawning of realization and awkwardly shifted his arms.
"I um… didn't know that you… um I'm sorry for interrupting? Oh goodness... Uh… sorry. I'm so sorry!" Jack backed away from the bed quickly and tripped over a box on the floor in his haste. He let out a small sound of pain as he fell onto his hurt ankle clumsily. "God… sorry, this is so awkward, I- I'll just be leaving now."
"Wait Jack… It's really not a big deal. We're both guys… I didn't want you to find out" Jamie rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.
"Why?" Jack asked from his spot on the floor. Jamie searched the floor for some suitable pyjama pants to put on.
"I thought… I don't know. You'd think it was weird. And gross."
Jack shook his head, "No it's normal. I mean… not something I want you to share with me but… I don't want it to hinder the time we spend together…" Jamie pulled on the pair of pants he found on the floor, finally covering up the rather prominent bulge in his underwear.
"You, it could have been so much worse. Sophie could have walked in…or my mom..." Jamie trailed off. He sat down on the bed uncomfortably, shifting his legs around to find the most comfortable position in his… condition.
"What were you doing on your laptop?" Jack asked suddenly. Jamie blushed furiously, much to Jack's confusion. Jack wasn't sure how he felt about all this hormonal action and teenage Jamie. Jamie was 18 and definitely old enough to handle himself, but Jack still saw the 11 year old who he had built snowmans with that first year after Pitch's defeat. Was this what a mother or father felt like when watching their baby grow up? Jack was pretty sure this was different. The sight of Jamie flushed and panting was far too appealing to the guardian, making shivers tickle their way up his spine and desire surge through his stomach in waves of butterflies. It felt so wrong. Did Jamie ever feel like this about him? Of course not… he had Pippa. Did he think of her? Jamie's voice brought Jack back to reality.
"Well… I was watching…" Jamie struggled to find the right words to phrase his abuse of internet pornography before Jack cut him off.
"Hey Jamie. Do you still like Pippa?"
Jamie seemed to ponder this for a second, making Jack think perhaps he had misinterpreted the teenager's intentions.
"Well she has nice tits." Jamie said bluntly.
Jack blushed at the crass language. This was becoming extremely uncomfortable. How was he supposed to respond to that? Scold him? No… that would make him like a parent. Punch him? Too much like a brother. Disagree? Too much like a bad friend. Agreeing seemed like the best option.
"Yeah… umm nice tits." Jack said. A pang of guilt made itself known in his chest as he said such crass things about one of his sweet, innocent believers who probably had no idea that he was saying such awful things right now...
Jack had intended the comment as a way to ease the awkwardness and make it seem like he was as cool with all this as Jamie was, but Jamie took it in a whole different way, suddenly launching into the most energetic conversation he had seen come out of the boy for 3 years.
"You think so? Claude thinks I have awful taste. Says she's too skinny. But you should see this magazine I got from the store the other day. And the last porno I watched on my laptop had this blonde chick with these amazingly huge—"
Jack wasn't even listening to the now considerably perked up Jamie.
This was weird. Way too weird. Jamie was talking to him about sexual things with girls. Was that even allowed? Jack was a guardian who was supposed to protect the innocence and playfulness of children and now here he was, standing in a young teenage boy's bedroom listening to him ramble on about porn after catching him in the act of touching himself. Furthermore, this was the most excited and lively he'd seen Jamie since before adolescence, so maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. If he just played along and provided someone to talk to he could probably see Jamie more, which was something he was absolutely sure he wanted more than anything in the world.
Jamie said something about redheads and Jack nodded robotically, still trying to sort out his feelings on this whole ordeal.
Jack was beginning to realize he had actually never thought of a girl this way before. Tits and ass were just words, not some Godly gift bestowed upon mankind. Did that make him weird? Was he unable to feel like this because he was a guardian? Why didn't he like boobs anyways? Boys were supposed to be attracted to girls. Jack didn't want to see a hot blonde shaking her junk at him, he wanted Jamie lying on the bed desperately seeking climax that he, Jack Frost, might be able to… No. That would just be plain wrong. Jamie said something that finally roused Jack from his thoughts.
"Of course I've never actually done anything before… I've never even kissed anyone." Jamie was sheepishly biting the inside of his cheek. "Can you believe it? I'm a soccer star… 6 feet tall… 18 years old and never been kissed. Have you ever...?"
Jack shook his head. He was pretty sure he had never kissed anyone while he was human, and he was positive he hadn't kissed anyone since he became Jack Frost.
"I don't think so. I've never liked girls… like that during my afterlife." Jamie looked shocked. Jack decided he liked Jamie's shocked face; it reminded him of the look he had made the first time he had seen him.
"Oh come on everyone likes boobs! You just need to reawaken… your.. yourself." Jack laughed as Jamie struggled to find the right words.
Jamie got up from his bed, and walked towards Jack, who was still sitting on the ground, ankle in hand. Any evidence of what had occurred earlier that evening had disappeared and Jack was pretty sure he felt a little twinge of disappointment. Jamie gave Jack a trusting look that melted Jack's heart with a flood of memories from when Jamie was younger.
"I feel like I could tell you anything. Like… you've been here most of my life, but you're not my age so it's great but weird and… Thanks." Jamie crossed the room swiftly and gently picked the frost spirit off the floor before he swept Jack up into his warm embrace.
Jack was a little stunned (seeing as he really hadn't listened to any of Jamie's ramblings for the past 10 minutes) but after realizing that Jamie wasn't going to let go for a while, he relaxed into the touch. Jamie was so much larger and warmer than him… It was comforting. Jack inhaled his masculine scent deeply, enjoying the way it permeated the air around him and made his vision blur.
Just when he felt like he could get used to staying that way forever, Jamie released his hold on Jack slowly, gently sitting him on the bed so as not to irritate the injury. He gently held Jack's slender foot in his hand, before looking up with a lopsided grin.
"Feeling any better Cinderella?" Jack blushed because a) Jamie was holding his foot, and b) Jamie called him a princess. Jamie didn't wait for Jack to respond.
"Thanks for always being here for me Jack. I just wish I could do something for you…" Jamie trailed off, now completely broken off from Jack's body and standing a foot away. To Jack, it felt like the longest distance in the world.
"Just… don't stop believing in me. That's enough for me."
But it wasn't enough, Jack knew. Jack wanted to feel those strong arms around him again. He wanted to breathe in Jamie's scent forever. He wanted something even more than that… but he wasn't sure what it was. Jamie interrupted his train of thought once again.
"Well duh I'll keep believing in you. You're standing here aren't you? But I thought of a better way I can help. Reawakening your manliness." Jamie said, a grin creeping to his face.
"Are you saying I'm not manly?" Jack quipped. He had to admit, he knew he wasn't as strong or big as Jamie was he was boyish… enough.
"Well you are a "frost pixie" according to Pippa." Jamie replied with a hint of malice. The teen fell to the floor and rolled around laughing.
"You guys are all awful! I can't believe she said that!" Jack had risen from the bed and into the air a few inches, the wind carrying him so he wouldn't hurt his ankle.
Jamie tugged at Jack's good ankle, causing the guardian to tumble awkwardly on top of the boy back onto the bed. They wrestled a bit until they were breathless, and until Jack couldn't fight back anymore. The teenager was so strong and lean now, he was able to pin the kicking frost spirit underneath his broad chest effortlessly.
"I finally… caught you. I win." Jamie said rather breathlessly. Jack wanted to hear him talk breathlessly like that forever. The comment went unnoticed as Jack stared back up at Jamie, cheeks pink and hair a bit mussed. Jamie was oblivious to Jack's looks of desire and merely plowed on, as if nothing had happened.
Jamie didn't even bother moving of him as he said seriously, "We could totally get you back up and running Jack. I bet there's some girl you like… or guardian? Tooth? And even if you don't, no worries. We'll figure it out."
Jack was not sure whether to be happy that Jamie cared so much or sick because he had no interest in breasts or anything of the sexual sort with females.
Jack grinned sheepishly and Jamie gave a joyous "whoop" before helping Jack off the bed and onto his feet(or foot in this case). All this physical contact became a bit overwhelming for Jack; Jamie's hands were around his shoulders and waist, intimately brushing at some of the skin peeking out from the guardian's hoodie. Jack blushed as Jamie gave him a firm slap on the back.
"Well… I should really go to bed now Jack. Sorry we couldn't play in the snow tonight. Maybe tomorrow?" Jamie shuffled over to his bed and slipped underneath the covers.
"Yeah... that'd be nice."
And with that Jack took off into the night, leaving behind the unabashed Jamie to snuggle into his bed.
To Be Continued...