With one last glance toward the two sleeping forms he stepped out of the wrecked fuselage. Immediately the cold air of the night enveloped him, soothing away some of the tension that had built over the past few hours. Looking up, he was astonished to see the sky above him sparkle with thousands of stars, a very rare treat here. In fact he couldn't remember ever seeing it so clear on his first stay. Was that a good sign?
Stepping away onto the clearing, he felt the need to move, to work the tension physically out of his body. He fell into a jog to warm his muscles up. One of the first things Slade had taught him, when he finally had decided to accept to train him. Never start working out without a proper warm up, because the risk of injury makes you vulnerable and therefore expendable. Like all his lessons it had been dispensed the hard way leaving him wishing someone would put him out of his misery the next day.
A deep sadness welled up in him even as his mind wandered the path of things long past. Memories of his hardships seemed all he had. His feet pounded the rich forest soil more forcefully now. He upped the pace as he moved forward and his body warmed up. No obstacle he encountered made him change his set route. –Problems had to be solved head on; delay brought no relief - another one of Slade's lessons.
So on and on he ran jumping over fallen moss-covered trees, climbing large rocks, sliding down the other side. Slowly his body covered in perspiration, but still it wasn't enough… he had to go on, push himself, cross the limits. To accept what deep down he knew was the right choice. He had to go back, face the aftermath of his failed actions. Face the truth Tommy had thrown his way. Find a way to honour his memory. Caught up in his tormenting thoughts, he missed his next jump, his palms not finding any grip slid down the rough stone burning his skin and leaving it raw as he finally managed to stop his slide. He welcomed the pain shooting up from his fingers. He had seen worse, so much worse in the past. With an almost inhuman cry he hauled himself up and over the top. He stood there panting, feeling the tremors running through his exhausted body. Leaning forward he placed his hands on his knees to catch his breath more easily. It wasn't enough, he had to go on, because as soon as he stopped the ghosts would come back.
In his mind the click of the landmine still echoed. He saw the panicked looks of Diggle and Felicity again. He knew the sensation of dread creeping up your body from his own experience… the desperate need to move away from the danger, a survival instinct that would be sanctioned by a very painful death if you gave in to it. Now Felicity would be haunted by this memory too, all because of him. Because he had fled his responsibility… had fled reality… again. A deep feeling of despair settled in his stomach as he thought of all the misery he brought to those he cared for. It really would have been better if he had stayed here to begin with, or… he didn't let his mind wander further that dark road. Instead he pushed forward, running down the slope toward the forest as fast as he could paying no heed to the branches whipping his body. He simply pushed on through the dense primary forest trying to blend in to become part of it again. Then he would feel in control … a predator among others and no longer the helpless poor excuse of a human being that he sometimes felt he still was.
I still feel like I can trust you. Out of nowhere the words echoed in his mind. How could she? He was a failure. He hadn't fulfilled his father's last wish, he hadn't been able to help the citizens of his city. Hell he couldn't even save one single person – his best friend.
His exhausted muscles screamed, but still he kept sprinting forward until he came to a sheltered spot. Three mounds of stones marked the site. His legs finally gave out under him his muscles cramping because of exhaustion and he found himself kneeling in front of his father's grave. His eyes wandered over the piles automatically checking for traces of scavengers or displaced stones. That's when he saw the first one … on top of one of the larger rocks rested a small polished pebble that hadn't been there the day before. Frowning his gaze wandered to the other two graves and there too, there was a perfectly shaped white stone resting on top, near the piece of wood marking the name of the person below. Someone had been here. Quickly he got his legs back under him, his eyes scanning the underwood in search of potential threats while his mind tried to process the information. Years of living as a prey had taught him that much. Apparently someone had found the gravesite, but seeing as nothing was disturbed, that person hadn't had any bad intentions. What was this about then? He grabbed the nearest pebble and turned it in his fingers examining it more closely. It appeared to be some kind of granite if he correctly remembered his very vague reminiscences of geology classes. The perfectly white surface sparkled even in the diffuse light of the rising moon. The lack of asperities indicated it had been polished by water… Clearly it didn't belong in the forest. Someone must have brought it along. But where did it come from? Or rather, who had placed it there? There weren't that many possibilities… In fact there were one two… Felicity and Diggle. Somehow they must have passed through here while searching for him. Why place these stones on the graves? He couldn't find any logical explanation. Promising himself to get the truth out of them later he placed the small mineral back where he had taken it.
After a brief moment of recollection, he got up and turned toward the camp. It was late and his body desperately craved some sleep. He caught a movement out of the corner of his eyes. In two strides he had moved to the spot and with one swift kick he had hiped to disable his opponent, but he found himself flat on his back even as he heard a shriek emanate from the figure standing over him.
"Oops, sorry. But you attacked me and I acted on instinct. Felicity twisted her fingers nervously, trying to avoid his gaze looking everywhere but at him. "Well not really on instinct, because while you pulled your disappearing act – so to say – Diggle has shown me some basic self-defence moves. Not that I would need to defend myself against you. Except when you come charging at me like a fury. Perhaps… I mean you're a good man and self-defence is useful against criminals, not that you're a criminal … Even if you cross the law sometimes … like regularly. Oh I need to stop talking right now." Taking a deep breath Felicity closed her eyes willing her brain to stop going wild. She hesitantly opened them to look at Oliver who still stared at her with a cocked eyebrow and a half smirk on his lips. He didn't say anything, just watched her as he processed what had just happened.
"Are you hurt?" The slightly apprehensive an uncharacteristically small voice of his very personal computer specialist friend, partner made him laugh and shake his head in disbelief. Oh how he had missed those adorable one-liners she threw at him on regular intervals.
"No, Felicity, you haven't hurt me, my pride perhaps… Diggle will have some explaining to do though."
"He only tried to help me be less vulnerable to potential threats." She blurted out.
"Not because of that," his hand gestured between them. "That was a very good move. Felicity, he let you wander around a minefield. What did he think letting you wander off all by yourself?" Anger laced his words and Felicity cringed, feeling the urge to defend her friend.
"Well I did wait for him to fall asleep, before I sneaked out, so he's kind of innocent." She immediately quipped.
"He didn't hear you?"
"Nope." Felicity shook her head to underline her words.
"Still. It's his job to protect you." Oliver felt the necessity to remind her of her importance.
"In fact it's his job to protect you!" She pointed a finger in his direction. Oliver closed his eyes as his mind registered the fact that she was right. If she was in danger and needed protection, it was because of him, not Diggle. A sigh escaped his lips.
"Did you … ?" his voice trailed off, but he gestured towards the graves.
"Oh! That? Yes." The reply was short and to the point. His confusion must have shown on his face because Felicity launched herself into an explanation.
"I'm jewish, but you know that because you're my boss and I told you last Christmas and you wished me a Happy Hanukkah and…"
"Felicity!" His voice was sharper than he had intended and he was sorry to see it made her flinch. But sometimes she needed to be re-focused or re-booted, like her computers he thought somewhat amused.
"Yes? Oh! This is an old tradition in fact. A sign of respect for the person buried in the grave."
"But you didn't know them… How?" His mind had difficulty wrapping itself around the idea.
"No, you're right. I never met them, but I respect them nonetheless. They helped you become the good man you are deep down here…" She placed the palm of her hand over his heart. The touch reassured her, calmed her as much as him. A heartfelt thank you was her reward. As she dared look into his eyes she could see the emotions raging in them. Could we get back? I mean it's late and cold and I can feel the forest stare at me…"
A small chuckle erupted from his chest as he grabbed her hand still resting on his chest and turned without letting go. "You're right. Follow me…," he said. Always, she thought blushing slightly.