Disclaimer: I don`t own Zoids.
You know... This is quite honestly the last place I ever expected to be seen.
Not to mention the last outfit I`d ever be expected to wear for the last reasons anyone could ever believe.
My name is Thomas Schubaltz, and right now I`m sitting here on the steps of a chapel watching the sunset five hours after the wedding of Fiona Alyssa Lenette to Van Fleiheit.
Bet you didn`t expect that one, huh?
I actually swallowed a few bitter pills and showed up, as one of the best men no less.
I think I understand though, I figured out exactly why, even after I got up the gall to tell her, Fiona went and picked Van over me. Aside from the obvious reasons, it`s because I`m not the hero here. I figured it out a while back really, I just didn`t accept it until a few months ago.
Fiona, I`ve discovered, is the type to be drawn to heroes. Oh, she acts like she just wants to live a nice, normal life but deep down I think she`s drawn to guys like Van, the ones who`re always out there facing death in the eye and usually walking away virtually unscathed. Van`s a charismatic hero on the fast track, Fiona`s a lovely young woman who`s drawn to him like a fly to a bug trap.
I`m just a geek stuck in his brother`s shadow. Nothing to be too attracted to there, huh?
I don`t mind though. They`re meant for each other after all - for now anyway. I have a sinking feeling in my gut that someday my patience to sit here and wait for her is going to come back to haunt me in the worst way possible. It`s cool though, I don`t mind waiting and I don`t mind being single, just as long as I don`t become Doctor D. That guy scares me.
That sinking feeling isn`t out of melodrama either, it`s because I have an understanding of the risks that Van thrives on, a better understanding than you would think too. Van`s like Carl on speed, it`s easy to figure him out after you remove yourself from the scene far enough. Plus, Beke and I worked on it for a while.
Van has a 20% chance of surviving past the age of 40 at the rate he`s going. 10% if the Blade Liger is somehow taken out of commission at some point. Van may be a bit of a punk but that worries me, because of a good many reasons.
Like I said, Van`s a punk and I may not like that he`s now married to Fiona, but he`s still a friend. Sorta. And what`d happen to Fiona if he died? I can see it, she`s as dependant on him as I am on my machines in a fight. From what Irvine and Moonbay said, Van was the first person Fiona met when she woke up from wherever he found her. I`m not too clear on the details but I`ve figured it out from there.
Even after four years out of whatever egg he dragged her out of, Fiona is still scared of the world. Van`s the only constant in her life besides Zeke and the Blade Liger so... Do the math I guess.
Van`s a hero, I`m a geek. Van`s been there longer, I just popped up on a fluke and had the misfortune of falling in love at first sight.
It`s alright with me though. Contrary to how I act I`m a pretty goodhearted person, so if she`s happy then I can down a few jagged pills and plaster on a smile for her. It`s the least I can do, really...
I just wish she had climbed out of her shell before Van proposed to her. Or that I`d had the guts before then.
Too late for that now though, I guess it`s back to my original mission in life while I wait.
Even if I can`t get Fiona, nobody ever said anything about lighting a candle under Carl`s ass to get him to move out of the way.
What can I say, I`m unconventional. I refuse to be the one to step out of his shadow so I`ll just set a nice big fire up under him and make him move out of the way for me. Boom, I don`t need to move, Carl get`s a nice big burn mark and an inability to sit down for a month and I`m out of his shadow for good.
Sometimes being the geek has it`s advantages, ya know?
Everyone`s always underestimating me, not paying any attention to me, never giving credit where it`s due, focusing on those around me but never paying attention to me.
I`ve actually come to like that a bit now that I`ve come to accept it. I still intend to get out of Carl`s shadow but even if I`m not noticed after that I`ll be okay with it, because even if I`m ignored I`ll at least be my own man.
Carl`s always excelled at everything that could help you in the military but me? I`m a scientist with a gun. That`s all there is to it. I refuse to be the kind of soldier he is. He can lead, he can fight and he can pilot a Zoid far better than I`ll ever be able to, but the same can be said of Van and Irvine and most of the others.
Know what that means?
They can lead men to their deaths better than me.
They can kill more people than I can.
They can commit suicide with far better styling than me.
When you look at it like that, then you kind of begin to understand why I`m happy to just be a little geek nowadays and sit by on the sidelines watching everyone else become legends. History can forget my piloting skills and I`d be happy about it, if I`m remembered I want to go down as a scientist first and a soldier last.
Maybe that`s why I can spot a bit of pride in Carl`s eyes now that I actually pay attention to it. I think he understands the logic behind what I just said now, and I think he doesn`t really want me to be the same as him.
Why is it that even after all these years, he still has to be the semi-protective, semi-picky older brother?! Jesus, he drives me nuts sometimes.
Nowadays, I`m happy to be the geek of the group.
Only thing I`m not happy about anymore is Fiona`s situation with Van. Maybe I`m being overly judgemental about this but I`m seriously worried about them. Van`s like some sort of cand- no, wait... More like a super nova. Yeah, that`s a way better way of putting it.
Shines really bright, but only for a short time and when he stops he sucks everyone down to Hell with him.
Maybe I`m being harsh but I can`t help it. I`m worried, I know at some level I`m a bit bitter and I can`t tell if I`m reading into these things too much.
Well... The sun`s finished setting and the moons are coming out now. I`m the only one here aside from Moonbay and Irvine and I think they`re both wanting to be left alone so it`s time for me to go.
I`m just the geek after all, no need to stand in the way of two other people like I did with Van and Fiona and I doubt Moonbay and Irvine are the type of couple who`d want someone unwittingly listening in or watching them.
So it`s time to leave.
Time to go be the geek some more instead of the angsty little twiggy simp I`ve been acting like lately.
Who knows, maybe I can annoy Doctor D a bit.
Except that he scares me a little...
I hope I don`t end up like him.
I`m a geek, not a perv...
Author`s Note: This one`s for you two, Aardwulf and December. Hope ya liked it and I hope it wasn`t the same as the one I did for Harry Champ.
Leena and Brad are next...