Sheldon stared down at the couch from over the top of his cereal bowl. He'd planned on watching Doctor Who but a certain blonde neighbour wrapped in a blanket across all three cushions fast asleep had other ideas.
"Penny? Penny, you're in my spot!" said Sheldon. She didn't awake. He looked down the hallway, hoping for Leonard to appear so he could ask him to…as he liked to call it…get his woman in line.
"Penny! This is unacceptable behaviour, Doctor Who is on!" he fumed. Penny still lay fast asleep on the couch. He took a moment to size up his options. He decided to try and lift her up into a sitting position, thus vacating his spot for his own use. Placing his cereal on the coffee table, he managed to get her up into a sitting position and sat in his spot, but being heavier than his slender frame could manage, he flinched as she slumped back down, straight across his legs.
"Well this is just plain unacceptable!" said Sheldon squirming at the physical contact of Penny laying with her head across his legs. He took a deep sigh, realised he wouldn't be able to do much (being a gentleman forbode him from casting her onto the floor, and really, he lacked the strength to do so, aswell as the lack of interest in her going Nebraska on his ass when she was awoken in such a fashion) and decided to reach forward to retrieve his cereal and the remote. Doctor Who was soon on, and he quite forgot about the Nebraskan blonde across his legs, indeed her head provided a nice place to store the remote. The episode was almost over when Penny shifted slightly.
"Huh?" she groaned out, confused as to why she was laying on a pair of legs.
"Oh no!" she groaned when she realised who they belonged to.
"Good morning Penny." Sheldon replied casting his attention from the tv to her. Penny turned over so she was staring straight up at her nerdy neighbour.
"This is a three striker isn't it?" she asked sadly.
"Well, I hardly think that would be a fair punishment. You were asleep on the couch, I lifted you up into a sitting position to reclaim my spot, but then you fell back across me. I could hardly give three strikes when I advertently instigated such a situation. A single strike for being in my spot should be sufficient." He informed her.
"What about me invading your personal space?" she asked.
What the hell? Why am I signing myself up for more strikes?!
"Interesting concept. Very well…two strikes." Said Sheldon.
Well done Penny, great way to start the day!
"Doctor who?" she asked tilting her head to look at the tv.
"Of course." Sheldon replied, as if anything else would be ridiculous at this time of the morning.
"Fair enough." She said rolling her eyes and closed her eyes.
"Excuse me, I hope you're not thinking of returning to sleep?" he asked.
"Why not? You've given me my two strikes, and you make a comfy pillow." She smirked with her eyes still closed.
"Penny, I have allowed this close proximity between us while you were asleep, it is now time for you to move." Sheldon informed her.
"Make me." She smirked.
"You're going the right way to get that third strike." Said Sheldon.
"Whatever." Smirked Penny turning back over again. Sheldon sized up his options.
"You leave me no choice Penny." Sheldon informed her. Suddenly there was a loud smack.
"OW! What the hell Sheldon?! Did you just spank me?" she asked, reaching an arm out behind her to rub her butt.
"I did warn you. I instigated the same punishment to Amy." Said Sheldon.
"You can't just go around spanking people." Said Penny.
"Can't I?" he asked, and as if to prove a point, did it again.
"SHELDON!" she yelled.
"I'll keep doing it as long as you continue in your current position." Said Sheldon.
"How would you like it if I did it to you?" she asked, rubbing her butt even more.
"It's not supposed to be liked Penny. It is punishment." Said Sheldon.
"Some people like it." Smiled Penny.
"Are you smiling? This is not supposed to be amusing Penny!" said Sheldon, bringing his hand back down to her butt again.
"Sheldon, I'm gonna go Nebraska on your ass if you do that again!" she warned.
"All you need to do is sit up on the two remaining cushions and everything will be back to normal. That is, me eating cereal and watching Doctor Who, and you in my apartment uninvited." Said Sheldon, smiling slightly at his sarcasm.
"Remnd me again why I'm friends with a Whackadoodle like you?" she asked.
"Penny. There is no such thing as a Whackadoodle, thus I cannot become it." Said Sheldon.
"It's not even 7.00 am! I should be punching you in the throat!" warned Penny.
"I have not disturbed you in your apartment. If anything, I should be punishing you for disturbing my schedule." Said Sheldon. Silence.
"You have no answer to my obviously correct fact?" he asked.
"That's it!" cried Penny sitting up and wrapping her hands around his neck.
"Penny, my cereal!" he cried as she knocked it to the floor.
"I don't care about your cereal Sheldon!" she replied pressing him into the back of the couch.
"Penny, I can't breathe!" he gasped.
"That's kind of the point Sheldon!" she replied.
"Alright, let go and I'll rescind one of your strikes you accumulated this morning." Said Sheldon.
"Both." Penny countered.
"Acceptable." Sheldon replied, and let out a large gasp when Penny let him go.
"Penny, your head is in the way, I can't see the TV." Said Sheldon. Penny rolled her eyes.
"You amaze me sometimes Sheldon. You have a woman in her pyjamas on your lap and all you're worried about is missing the tv." Said Penny.
"What else would I be concentrating on?" he asked confused.
"Well maybe our continuing proximity." Said Penny. She leaned in and kissed him on the lips.
"DEAR GOD!" yelled Sheldon wriggling out from under her and running for the bathroom and the safety of his disinfectant. Penny lay back down in triumph.
"Don't mess with me Moonpie." She smirked to herself.