Dissonance

Dissonance, n: A lack of harmony among musical notes.

Dissonance. A slight tremor of uncertainty in what was once a pleasing melody.

Izumi Koushiro couldn't say what had caused it, wasn't even sure when it began. All he knew was that something had changed, causing dissatisfaction and unease to infringe on his contentment.

As usual, he was grading papers in his single bedroom apartment. The place was sterile and sparsely furnished. The only area of interest was the desk running along an entire wall in the bedroom. It created enough surface area to house a laptop, a desktop, three monitors, a printer/scanner, and all of his paperwork. There was also an empty space reserved for doing that paperwork. He was bent over that area now, his dark eyes scanning answers from his students.

The cell phone at his elbow began to ring, and Koushiro sighed, lowered his pen, and picked it up. His annoyance at being interrupted abated when he read the name on the screen. He smiled, then raised the phone to his ear.

"Mimi," he said by way of greeting. "How are you?"

A high-pitched, energetic voice called his name from the other line. "Fine, fine. I only have a minute between photo shoots, but it's been so long since I've heard your voice, I just had to call you."

It has been a while, Koushiro thought, but he saw no reason to pick at Mimi. They would have even less time together if he annoyed her and she grew defensive. "Where are you now?" he asked, ever curious about where her profession took her.

A breathy sigh met his ears, and Koushiro knew at once that his girlfriend was somewhere she liked. Perhaps Paris, Hawaii, or the Caribbean? "Bora Bora, Koushiro, and it's to die for."

Koushiro felt his eyebrows dart up. "As in, the French Polynesia? I saw that island and its resort on a commercial once." If it were anyone but Mimi, Koushiro might have been jealous. He hadn't seen anything but his apartment and the campus where he researched and taught advanced programming in ages.

"Yeah! You would not believe it, Kou, it's amazing! They have these tiny condos floating right above a lagoon. I've been walking out onto the patio in back and hopping straight into tropical waters for the last two days. There's even glass panels in the floor, so you can watch the fish from the bed or your couch." A slow, wistful sigh tripped over the line. "It's so romantic… If only you could be here, too."

Koushiro's breath caught as he envisioned that scenario. Mimi, wearing nothing but one of her skimpy bikinis, rising out of clear blue waters, smiling in invitation as he helped her back up onto the patio. Completely ignoring those glass panels and fish as he dried her off and followed her to the bed…

"You're picturing it, aren't you." Mimi's pixie-like voice was playful, and contained just a trace of smugness.

"It's rather difficult not to," Koushiro shot back. His embarrassment at being caught in a mushy daydream overrode his typical tact. "I haven't seen you since Yamato-san's and Sora-san's wedding, and that was almost eight months ago, now."

There was a pause, during which Koushiro cursed himself in every language he knew. He didn't mean to blame Mimi for her busy schedule. She was doing what she loved, just as he was, and he was proud of her and happy for her. But, as her popularity and fame in the modeling world skyrocketed, her ability to spend time with him diminished, to the point where they had to snatch at every free moment when they were both awake for phone calls. Long distance relationships were always tricky, he knew, but this was beginning to feel impossible.

"You know I want to see you," Mimi said petulantly. "But I pulled so many strings to get a week off for the wedding…! It will be a little while before I can manage another vacation. Why can't you come here?"

Koushiro closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, and willed himself to create the patience that he no longer had for this topic. "I have students, Mimi. I have to be present for classes. There's no room for spontaneity in my schedule. That's why I couldn't spend the entire time with you when you were in Japan for the wedding."

He also could have pointed out that the last time he visited her during his PTO, she was so busy working that he spent most of his time touring Germany alone. But he was neither a fool, nor a glutton for punishment, and so he kept that to himself.

There was another, longer pause, and Koushiro rubbed his forehead. An impasse, as usual. If things went as they typically did, Mimi would change the subject any moment now, hoping to find some enjoyment in a somewhat bleak situation.

"How are your students?" she asked, and Koushiro frowned at the forced cheerfulness in her tone. "Have you discovered anything new lately?" They were ritualistic questions, and Koushiro found himself answering them automatically.

"The students are fine, although the new group is mostly older than me. As for discoveries, well…" He grinned at the pile of papers on his desk as he described a novel programming function that he had designed, but the long silence on the other end of the line had him trailing off. Mimi tried to show enthusiasm for his work, and Koushiro was glad for that effort. But she had no interest in it, and she lacked the training needed to understand it. Koushiro began to drum his fingers against the desk as he delivered the shortest, simplest version possible.

"Woooow," Mimi said when he finished. "That sounds amazing, Kou. You're so smart." Koushiro swallowed hard, willing himself to take the compliment and shrug off his disappointment at being unable to really explain the topic.

"What have you been up to?" Koushiro asked. And, suddenly, Mimi's voice was full of animation and enthusiasm. She spoke of places, people, parties, makeup lines, clothing… Koushiro quickly grew overwhelmed at the sheer amount of seemingly random information that she was tossing at him. He found himself glancing over his papers as she went on. Her tone suggested that he was intimately familiar with every designer and brand name that she mentioned, but the truth was that he had no idea if they were even discussing clothing or hair products at this point.

Then, her tide of words abated, and Koushiro produced a hmm sound to indicate that he was listening. His eyes fell on his closet, sparking a memory. "Ah- Mimi- I wanted to thank you for the clothing you sent me. Everything fits perfectly, as usual."

"Oh!" Pure pleasure filled Mimi's tone, and Koushiro smiled in response. "I'm glad! Did you like all of it?"

"As always, you know my tastes perfectly. And, as always, you spent way too much." Three years of dating Mimi had provided him, somewhat against his will, with enough knowledge to recognize the labels on some of the items she sent him, and to realize that they were frighteningly pricey.

Mimi laughed, a beautiful, enticing sound that had Koushiro pressing the phone closer to his ear. "Oh, Kou," she said fondly, and he could practically picture her trailing a hand delicately through the air. "You silly man. If it suits you, of course I'm going to pick it up for you. If it weren't for me, you'd have five of the same button down shirt in different shades of green and orange, two pairs of slacks, and one pair of shoes. Don't try to deny it; I saw your closet when we started dating."

Koushiro tilted his head and made another hmm sound, mostly because he had no way of defending himself. This had Mimi laughing again. Another pause formed, and Koushiro cast about for a topic. It was difficult to keep a conversation moving three years into a long distance relationship. When talking was your only available activity, you began to wear out your resources.

"How's Eimi-chan?" Mimi asked, and Koushiro twitched so hard that he dropped the pen he was fiddling with.

"Actually… I've been meaning to call Jyou or Takeru-san and ask about her." He frowned at his monitors, as if they were the cause of his sudden worry and hurt.

"Koushiro! You sound so serious, all of a sudden! Is something wrong?" Mimi's voice went even higher than usual, and Koushiro grimaced as her tone went sharp.

"I don't know, Mimi. That's the problem. Before the wedding, Eimi-chan and I were in frequent contact, as you know."

"Of course," Mimi said impatiently. "Ever since you moved to your current university, Eimi-chan's the only friend you can meet up with regularly. I worry about you, you know, being so withdrawn. If not for her, you'd only ever go to the campus." Koushiro grinned ruefully. The two of them were polar opposites when it came to their social tendencies. He liked to be alone, and enjoyed filling his time with mental puzzles. Mimi, however, spent almost every waking moment in the middle of a flutter of social activity, whether she was at a party, a photo shoot, or on a runway. "You know I love her for that. Is she alright?"

"I don't know," Koushiro repeated heavily. "I feel like she's been avoiding me since the wedding. At first, I thought I was imagining it, so I didn't say anything. Our phone calls grew brief, until she stopped returning them entirely." His hands tightened around the edge of his desk. "I visited her website, and… So much has been happening in her professional life."

"Well, maybe it's just that," Mimi said, her tone brightening. "She has been on tour. I met up with her in Paris, remember? And she's never done much traveling before, right? Maybe she's just been busy running around Europe."

"It is true that she was on tour for a few months, but it seems that she's been back in Japan for a while. I checked her website the other day, and I found that five local performances have passed since she returned, and she didn't invite me to a single one. And then…"

Sighing, Koushiro pushed off against the floor with his feet, rolling himself towards the speaker at the corner of his desk. An MP3 player was sitting on top of it, and he picked it up, selected a song, and hooked the device into the speaker.

A sweet, lilting voice filled the room, along with the accompaniment of a soulful acoustic guitar. Koushiro closed his eyes and breathed in. People called him stoic, and that was probably accurate. But still, even he reacted to Eimi's singing.

"Oh…!" Mimi gasped, then went quiet for a moment. "That's beautiful, but… I don't think I've heard that song."

"No," Koushiro muttered, rolling his way back to his working space. "That's because it's from her fourth album. It released two weeks ago."

There was a long, uncomfortable pause. "But… She talked about the release of her third CD for weeks, didn't she? And she invited you to the release party."

"Mm." Despite his strain, the corner of Koushiro's mouth twitched upward at the memory. Eimi had spent most of that party hiding on a balcony with him, bent over a chessboard. She didn't win a single game, but she kept playing without complaint, and she challenged him with a few cunning strategies.

"What is this about? Did you two have a fight, or something?!" Mimi demanded.

"No. I have no idea why she's suddenly cut me off. I've considered talking to Jyou about it, but…" Koushiro sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, trying to soothe discomfort that wasn't quite physical. "He has a lot on his plate. The last thing he needs is another source of worry."

A few faint clicks sounded over the phone. That was Mimi, flicking her tongue as she thought. Koushiro managed half a smile as he imaged her expression, her head tilted to the side, her eyes averted and unfocused, her brow pressed petulantly down.

"Well," she said at last, "what's to stop you from just showing up at her door and finding out that way?"

"Uninvited?" Koushiro asked, propping his elbows on his desk for support. "That's hardly considerate."

"Well, neither is treating a friend like a stranger!" A rough, shrill tone entered Mimi's voice, and Koushiro pulled the phone back. Her breathing went a little labored, but quickly slowed back down.

"And what if something's wrong with her? Or maybe she just forgot that you care, Kou. I love you up and down, you know I do, but you're not the best at letting people know how you feel."

Koushiro's fingers rose to his chin at that suggestion, trailing hesitantly over his jaw. While he had probably never communicated any affection for Eimi, they got along well. It seemed unlikely that her withdrawal could be due to a perceived lack of interest in continuing their friendship. However, the possibility had soothed his girlfriend, so he wouldn't voice his doubts. The last thing he needed was to give Mimi a reason to seethe right before a photo shoot.

Mimi called his name, possibly because the silence had drawn out too long, but the sound broke off abruptly. Tension instantly formed in Koushiro's gut. He was fairly sure he knew what was coming next.

And, sure enough, there was a short pause followed by a long sigh. "I have to go, Koushiro. The photographer's going to be here soon, and my assistant wants to go over some things with me."

Something seemed to be sinking inside of Koushiro's stomach, but he forced his tone to remain light. "I see. Have fun, Mimi. I enjoyed hearing from you."

"Koushiro… I miss you."

He cleared the lump from his throat, then returned the sentiment.

Author's Notes:

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Digimon. This is a nonprofit fanwork.

SHOUT OUT AND DEDICATION: This story takes some inspiration from Aveza's story, Plus One. Plus One is my favorite fanfic, guys, it's literally the best one I've ever read. You have to go read it. While Seeking Resonance and Plus One aren't actually affiliated, there is definitely some overlap, because Aveza is patient with my insanity, and there will be some stuff from Plus One informing Seeking Resonance. Also, you guys probably don't know this, but I seriously considered scrapping this fic at about the 12,000 word point. Aveza convinced me to keep going. So, and hopefully this isn't arrogant or weird, but this one is dedicated to Aveza, for helping to inspire the story, and for being an awesome and patient cheer leader when I indulge in doubt fests. Thank you!

IMPORTANT: Yes, there is Koumi in this story. However, if you can't stand seeing Mimi and Koushiro in couplings besides Koumi, please leave now. Let us part peacefully, as friends XD There will absolutely be other couplings involving both characters in this story. Also, full disclosure, there are two original characters in this story, and one is a main character. If any of you read my other fics, you already know Anami Eimi.

This story is a meandering thing that alternates between the present storyline and the past, so sometimes we'll see what is currently happening, and sometimes we will see what lead to it, or what will lead to other scenes, going as far back as six years ago. I won't ever mix past and present in one chapter (and note that some chapters will be broken into separate updates), and I will clearly mark how far back each past scene is, to make things easier on you guys. Also, everyone is full grown, with most of the characters in their late twenties and early thirties, at least during the present.

Anyway, this is a simple story about maturing and learning and finding yourself through the little triumphs and heartaches of everyday adult life. It's a bittersweet, wandering affair, and I really hope you enjoy it! It will be ten chapters long (but will be delivered in more than ten updates), and will run 70-90K words in length.

In the future, I won't be leaving author's notes, except to explain some Japanese culture aspects, as needed. From now on, I will update my fics once a week, on Sunday. On weeks where I've written enough to update Four Years or Growing Up with You, I will update those. Whenever I can't update those, I will update this story. When this story ends, I will start working on Insurgence again.

Please enjoy Seeking Resonance :)