"Revenge is Bittersweet", Chapter One

by VTBots and DragonShadow83 (from RP'ing)

NOTE: No, this is not a sequel to Animalistic Animosity. Think of this as an... "alternate universe" or something. This is also based on the American version of all three games. (I never played any of the Japanese versions, though I heard about a major difference between the versions in one of the stages of UmJammer Lammy...)


Ahhhhh... A fine, beautiful early afternoon in a nameless small town in a crazy, cartoon world full of anthromorphic beings, live inanimate object people, and even some human beings! A fine, beautiful day like this ought to be taken advantage of by couples everywhere. In fact, one certain couple we know and (maybe) love are using this fine, beautiful day to enjoy themselves... with ice cream! Yes, the lovely sunflower Sunny Funny and the rapping hero Parappa are staring lovey-dovey at each other--or at least Parappa is--eating their chosen ice cream in the local ice cream parlor. Such a casual, romantic moment together.

However, Sunny appears to have something on her mind. Something that seems to be hard for her to bring out. Parappa, being too busy staring into the loveliness of his girlfriend, pays no attention to this as he slurps on his oh-so-delicious desert. A thought war rages in her mind: "Should I tell him? No, don't tell him! But you must! But it would-- Shut up! You're going to tell him whether you like it or not!" Finally, the mind battle ends as she sighs, defeated, and sadly places her yellow hand on Parappa's paw, but smiles to hide her negative feelings.

"Parappa... Ummm... I need to... talk to you..."

Parappa slurps on his ice cream, still smiling. "'Bout what?"

"Well..." She turns her head away, finding it very difficult to bring out her thoughts to her boyfriend. "Look, I... just don't... think we should... go out... anymore...."

The puppy's eyes widen and his ears perk up at the news. He just sits there, pausing, not saying anything for a minute. Then, as sudden as his silence, he bursts out laughing. "Hahahahaha, oh, I'm sorry Sunny! (slurp) I thought I just heard you say that we're breaking up or something." He wipes a tear away, still snickering in amusement. "Boy, what an imagination I have..."

But Sunny does not appear to be joking at all... which begins to worry our poor rapstar hero. "Well, what I mean is...," she sighs, "I'm a... and you're a... My Dad says inter-lifeform relationships don't work."

"...what?" Parappa opens his mouth in shock; like a cold stake has been thrusted into his heart, shattering it to itty, bitty pieces.

"I mean, if it were just different species it would be one thing, but... We're not even in the same catergory."

"But..." The dog boy begins, his ears beginning to droop, whimpering like a little puppy.

"I'm sorry, Parappa, but it just can't work. Flowers can't date dogs..." Then she suddenly exclaims with a frown, "You pee on us!"

Parappa, blushing with embarrassment and shame, opens his mouth to protest, feeling a bit offended, but closes it immediately, knowing what she said is true. All he can do is sink into his chair, whimpering.

Sunny continues with the longest sigh in the conversation: "So I'm sorry, I just cannot see you anymore... G... Goodbye, Parappa."

And with that she stands up with tears in her eyes and turns to leave. Parappa, shaking his head as if having a nightmare, whimpers again and again "No, no, no..." until finally he springs from his chair, dropping his ice cream in the process, and grabs Sunny's hand, halting her marching out of there.

"W-Wait," he says as he turns his former girlfriend around. "...since this's our last moment as boyfriend and girlfriend... uh..."

Slowly but savory, he leans over and kisses her flower friend on the lips briefly, ignoring the "Awww"s or the "OOOOOooooooo"s or even the "Ewwwwww"s as he holds the kiss their for minutes, their last kiss as a couple ever, sadly. Finally, they break away and Sunny, sniffling, turns away again and leaves, looking back to her former boyfriend one more time before another tear from her eye falls, plopping unto the hard ground, before she waves and leaves Parappa's life as his girlfriend forever.

The little hero waves back to her as he watches her leave sadly, his own tears pouring out, but suppresses any incoming sobs. Finally, he jumps on the table, then shouts out angrily, asking the entire town: "Whhhhhhhhhhhyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!?!?"

Suddenly, Sunny Funny, in cartoony speed, zips back in, calmly saying to him, "I told you!" before leaving as abrupt as she entered.

Parappa, sweatdropping, slithers like a slug back into his chair, his heart broken like glass, his eyes watering like a small waterfall, his ears drooping like that of a certain other cartoon dog. He sits there, watching his popsicle melt right there, wondering again and again in his mind "Why?", not even noticing the MilkCan band members, Lammy (with her guitar slung over her shoulder), Katy Kat and Ma-san, enter the parlor, each of them holding their tummies hungrily.

"Man," Lammy groans, desperate to eat something, anything. "Chocolate sundae, must have chocolate sundae... I'm famished!"

"Yeah," Katy responds in a similar manner as her stomach growls, and quite loudly at that. "I could sure go for some strawberry milkshake right about now."

"I'd like a vanilla sundae with lots 'n' lots of sprinkles!?" Little Ma-san mumbles in her weird language that only her two girl friends understand.

The gang orders their things and sits at a table of their choosing. As they satisfy their hunger, the smallest MilkCan member notices a sulking, pitiful-looking puppy dog sitting at a table across from her and her friends. Cocking her haircomb-like eyebrows in curiousity, she nudges to the girls and points over to him.

"What's his problem?"

"He seems to be pretty sad about something," Katy observes as she rubs her chin, watching Parappa sigh sadly to himself.

"Maybe someone parked in front of his favorite fire hydrant," Lammy giggles, almost wanting to smack herself for her joke.

"I guess a puppy like him would be depressed about that."

"No, girls," the blue cat waves her paw, "I think it's something else. ... Should we go talk to him?"

Lammy nods. "I guess it would be polite..."

So MilkCan walks over to Parappa's table, bringing their desserts with them, and sits close to the depressed dog. He finally becomes aware of their presence, though he refuses to meet eyes with the girls.

"Yo," says the little MilkCan member, "what the heck is the matter?" Parappa doesn't say anything; mostly because he did not understand what Ma-san just said.

Katy Kat is happy to translate for him: "She asks what is the matter, Parappa. You look really down. What's wrong?" She gently places her paw on Parappa's shoulder, smiling reassuringly. "You can talk to us about it."

After a long and chilly pause he finally lifts his head up and eyes the girls sadly. "Sunny and I broke up," he sighs. The girls' eyes almost widen, surprised at the news. Parappa and Sunny seemed like they would always stay together; MilkCan has seen that in them many, many times. But now that they're hearing of a break up between those two... it's almost impossible to imagine!

"Really? That's awful. I'm sorry." Katy sighs sympathetically.

Ma-san, however, doesn't share the same, sympathetic passion as Katy Kat has. Instead, she uses this time to insert her infamous jokes. "Let me guess...," she smirks. "You refused to 'go to bed' with her, didn't you?" Nearly busting out laughing, she takes a bit of a chunk out of her sprinkle sundae, grinning like a clown.

Of course, Katy Kat isn't in the mood for the small girl's clowning around. "Ma-san!" she shouts sternly to her.

"Why did she break up with you, Parappa?" Lammy asks, both from curiosity and from hoping to prevent a meaningless argument between her two friends. Parappa slowly explains to them the reason for Sunny Funny dumping the poor boy, leaving out the embarrassing info of dogs. When finished, he goes back to sulk mode, laying his canine head on the table, his ears drooping like wet towels.

"... I see." Katy sighs sadly, again.

"I'm sure she'll come around soon, Parappa," Lammy says, trying to take Katy's role of being the optimistic one for once. But Parappa shrugs with an 'I doubt it' response. Katy, shaking her head, pats on Parappa's shoulder comfortably, smiling her sweet, caring smile.

Suddenly, Ma-san smirks as an idea, or rather a semi-joke, comes to her head. "Well, you can always go out with Miss Tardy over there." She points over to the guitarist.

Seeing Parappa's ears perk up with an expression of curiousity and 'What she say?', Katy Kat translates for Ma-san again, pointing at Lammy at the same time: "You can always go out with Miss Tardy over there." It takes seconds before Katy realizes her slip, covering her mouth and grinning sheepishly. "Oops. Sorry Lammy."

Lammy smirks at Ma-san's idea/joke, though if one looks closely they could see slight blush on her cheeks. "Come on girls, like me and Parappa would ever go out."

"Heh heh, yeah..." Parappa agrees, trying not to laugh himself. "Kinda funny, isn't it?"

Katy smiles, happy to see Parappa's frown turned upside down for the first time this entire conversation. "Well, I'm sure Ma-san was just trying to make you feel better."

Lammy, wanting this subject to drop quickly, wavers both of her paws, rolling her eyes. "Well ANYWAY, is there anything we can do to cheer you up?"

"Weeelllll....." Parappa wrinkles his nose, adjusting his trademark floppy hat shyly. "I was... kinda thinking of being the... guest singer in your... next gig."

Ma-san opens her mouth in shock, shaking her head. "... You gotta be kiddin' me, puppy."

"Yeah," Katy agrees, "MilkCan is a girl band, in case you didn't know."

"Yeah, but..." Parappa begins, but Lammy interrupts: "Parappa, it would never work. We're MilkCan; you have your own band with PJ, remember?"

He most certainly does remember. Unfortunately. He and PJ were inspired by MilkCan's first big success as a band and wanted to form a group of their own. However, their efforts failed miserably and they then decided to trash the idea, at least for now.

He smirks to the lamb, his sentences dripping with the acid of sarcasm. "Yeah. We even destroyed an expensive, beautiful guitar so we can get a quality-sound, super duper maracah out of it. We'd be big successes and everyone would love us."

Lammy ignores his tone of voice, continuing to offer her advice. "You do what you do... whatever it is that rappers and DJ's do."

"Right, Parappa." Katy nods with a confident smile. "If rock is your weak point, stick to your strong one."

The young dog pauses and rubs his chin, considering his friends' bits of wisdom. Then, as suddenly as how the conversation became quiet, he slams his fist into the palm of his other paw in excitement, almost jumping out of his chair. "You're right! Why haven't I thought of it before?"

"Probably because he's the youngest and the stupidest," Ma-san jokingly whispers to Katy, who glares directly at her in response.

"Why did we try rock-and-roll when we know we kick butt better in rapping and DJ'ing? ... Man, now I feel so much better now. Thanks, Lam, you're the best!"

Then the next thing that happens surprises everyone, especially Parappa. He doesn't know how, he doesn't know why, he just goes up and do it...

He kisses Lammy right there on the cheek. Out of the clear blue. Just like that. Feeling shocked and then embarrassed, he backs off and shakes his head quickly, his cheeks glowing shades of pink. Sweating, he stutters, "Um, uh, I, er, gotta go, bye...," and then takes off like a jet, out of the ice cream parlor.

Naturally, Lammy is just as surprised as the dog boy was, as she places her little paw on the part on her cheek where she received the sudden kiss at. She shakes her head as if trying to tell any oncoming confused emotions to not invade her mind.

And just as naturally, Katy and Ma-san can not help but seize this opportunity to torture their friend with grins and teasing "Ooooo"s, wolf-whistling and mock puckering of the lips.

"Wooo! He planted a big one on you!" Katy nudges Lammy's side.

"Didn't I tell you?" smirks Ma-san.

"Eh... it was just an 'in the moment' kind of thing," Lammy says lamely, trying to conceal her cheeks which are now beginning to radiate in redness.

"Riiiight. Suuuurrrrre it was."

"It was!"

Katy giggles, wavering her paws around to cease the teasing. "Anyway, I wonder where Parappa ran off to?"

"Probably went to buy romantic presents for the lamb girl."

"Come on, stop it Ma-san!" Lammy frowns a bit, beginning to get annoyed with the small one's constant teasing and smart-alecky remarks. "He probably went to make up with Sunny."

"Maybe..." Katy says as she rubs her chin.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, a pondering Parappa is to the direction of the quiet suburban areas. Thoughts about his former girlfriend swarm his mind, and he hopes that this more important subject would distract him from that 'magical moment' that occured a few minutes ago. "Maybe I should not try making up with Sunny," he mumbles to himself. "Not now.... She seemed really, really serious when she announced our break up. Yeah, maybe it's best I worry about her later. Right now, I gotta find PJ. Now where is he..."

Why, sleeping on the living room couch in the comfort of his own home, of course. The short, peaceful PJ Berri snores blissfully, a little "anime bubble" forming from his nose. Parappa arrives at his home and knocks once on the door. "Peej? PJ, are you home?"

"Do not disturb," mumbles PJ in his sleep.

Parappa, scratching his head, goes over to peek inside the window. His dog eyes tell him his friend is in dreamland mode. Sighing, he taps on the glass loudly, hoping it would wake him up.

And it does. But of course, PJ isn't too happy to be woken up from the world of slumber. "What is it!?"

"C'mon, Peej," Parappa calls behind the window, "we're reformin' our band!"

"Band? When were we a band?"

"When we tried rock-'n'-roll... You don't remember, huh?"

"Oh... yeah, I remember." Then he blinks once, "Why are we reforming?"

"Because Lammy... I mean Milk Can gave me some advice. Why not we just have a rapping/DJ band instead?"

PJ simply shrugs. "Okay."

"Great! ... um, aren'tcha gonna let me in?"

PJ shrugs emotionlessly and opens the door for him. Parappa steps in excitedly.

"Whew, thanks," says Parappa. "For a minute there I thought you were gonna just fall asleep again."

"Wanna get something to eat?" the bear asks suddenly.

"Ummm, I just a--" Parappa begins, but remembers he lost most of his ice cream from before, "yeah, I guess."

"Alright, where should we go?"

"I dunno. How 'bout Beard Burger? I heard the Nickel Grounder is ninety-nine cents now."


Deciding on their destination, the two best buds head on their way to Beard Burger. Of course, they have nothing else to converse about, so they just walk, sighing boredly; PJ looks to be about ready to fall asleep again. Then, finally, Parappa sighs and tells his friend the same news he told Milk Can. "Oh, PJ, I've got some bad news to tell you. Sunny and I broke up."

"... Awwww..." PJ says quite unsincerely.

"Yeah," says Parappa, not detecting PJ's disinterest, "so no more dating for us. Now I'm girlfriendless... again."

"Well, you know what they say..." shrugs PJ. "... Girls suck."

Parappa wrinkles his nose curiously. "Huh, well, I don't think so."

The duo finally reach their destination and get in line.

"Girls can be great if you just give them a chance," Parappa continues, hoping to break through PJ's emotional barrier.

"They just seem to suck all your money dry," shrugs PJ.

"That's because most guys suck up to them so much by buying them millions of presents instead of being them... selves..." his voice fades as he realizes just how weird that is coming out of him. "Gosh, I'm being hypocritical here," he says with a scratch of his head, prompting a smirk from his buddy.

The dog and bear reach the end of the line and order the now 99-cent Nickel Grounder. After paying for it a minute or so later, they sit at a table next to one of the windows with their food. PJ almost immediately begins devouring his like a scavenger.

"Maybe next time," Parappa sighs, "I oughta buy presents only when I actually need to--like their birthday or something--and be more like myself. Maybe then the next girl won't dump me." He lets out another sigh and chews on his Nickel Grounder slowly.

"Well, just forget about it, Parappa. You're better off in the long run, believe me."

Parappa sighs again and chews as he thinks, 'Forget about it. Right. If only he knew I was happy having a girlfriend than not having one at all. It sucks being lonely.'

"Besides," PJ continues as he takes a big bite of his burger, "look at all the running around you did for her. And what thanks do you get? This crap."

"Well, that was before we found out 'inter-lifeform' stuff wouldn't work. And besides... thanks to 'all that running around', I got better in rapping," Parappa says this with a smile.

"Yeah, well, she's still ungrateful," PJ says with still no emotion.

"Well, it's not her fault, really. She didn't know." He pauses. "... at least, I don't think she did."

"Bah, stop making excuses for her. Get mad or something."

Parappa chews slowly again. "I don't get mad easily."

"Well, maybe you should. With everything you do for people around here, you should have a flock of girls surrounding you... Not that you'd want that, because girls suck." The bear takes yet another bite of his burger, not caring about the fact that some types of people he's insulting right now are sitting at a table across from him.

"Hm. Strange you keep saying that," muses Parappa. "I thought you like Katy or something? Or was I dreaming it?"

PJ looks at his friend strangely. "Why would I like Katy? Sure she looks nice, but yuck, no thanks."

"'Kay. I guess it was just some crazy dream." After moments of silence (besides the sounds of biting and chewing), he finally decides to change the subject, "So, what should we call our band?"

"PJ and the Rapper?" says PJ with a shrug.

"Oh yeah, no ego showing in you there," smirks Parappa.

"You asked."

"How's about the All-Star Rapstars?" His response: crickets chirping in the background. Parappa sweatdrops, "... well, it was a nice try."

"How about just PJ and Parappa?"

"No, Parappa and PJ. It's, uh, alphabetically in order," Parappa says, trying to hide a smirk.

"Sure it is."

"Okay, then. Hmm. How's about we flip a coin for it?"


"Heads or Tails?"



Parappa digs out a penny and he flicks in into the air. But it slips out of the table and falls on the floor, making Parappa and PJ bend down (and look weird while doing so) under the table.

"What's it say," Parappa whispers, trying to see the coin.

"I think it's on its side," is PJ's response.

"Standin' on its side? Great..." Parappa suddenly tries to blow the coin flat on the ground so his Tails would win.

"Hey!" PJ shouts as he kicks the penny, sending it flying again. It lands on its side and rolls away from them. Parappa crawls after it while PJ follows him, trying to knock the coin over Heads up. Bystanders can't help but giggle at the sight as they continue this antic for a while, trying to knock the coin to their winning side, until finally, Colonel Noodle, the son of the late Beard Burger Master, comes into the scene, wondering why all of his customers are giggling, snickering, or shaking their heads.

"The heck is with you two?" he demands. "Are you in love or something? Cut it out."

Then, out of frustration, he stomps on the coin between them flat on the ground and walks away in a huff. And unfortunately for Parappa, it's on Heads...

"No..." he groans in defeat.

But PJ is experiencing the opposite emotion. "Hah!"

"All right, all right, you win," Parappa sighs as he takes his penny back. "So PJ and Parappa it is."

"Thank you," grins his friend.

"So... what should we do now?"

"Rehearse?" shrugs PJ. "It's what MilkCan always does."

"Okay. Let's go to the studio, then."

"We don't have a studio..."

"Oh yeah. I forgot." Parappa slaps his forehead, "And we don't even have money to own one." Then suddenly, he smiles a bit. "Well, no need to worry about it right now. Not like everyone knows about 'PJ and Parappa,' so we don't have any deadlines where we have to perform or anything."

"Yeah, yeah..." PJ agrees with a shrug.

Parappa stuffs his paws into his big pockets. "So, I guess I'll be seein' ya, Peej. I'm gonna try one more time to make-up with Sunny Funny. Maybe she's changed her mind?"

"Sure," smirks PJ.

* * * * *

So the two say their goodbyes, and Parappa runs out of the restaurant in a hurry. Nervous thoughts run all over his mind as he begins to sweat from more than just the running. 'Has Sunny changed her mind?,' he wonders. 'What if she has? Could that mean her dad was wrong about the inter-lifeform thing, or that he doesn't care anymore? What if she hasn't changed her mind? Would she get mad at me for asking again? What if I'm lonely forever? I mean, sure, I have PJ, but most of the time he does nothing but eat and sleep. I need... someone else. I need... OOOFF!!'

Parappa had crashed right into the door of Sunny Funny's lemon-shaped home (no, really, it does look like a lemon!), interrupting his panicky thoughts. 'Oh,' Parappa thinks again with a sweatdrop. 'I'm here.'

Sunny Funny, at the moment, is sitting in the living room, looking boredly at the television show before her. It is one of them afternoon soap operas. And even though most soap opera shows bore her, there is nothing else to watch; no cartoons, no live-action comedies, nothing. Soooo...

"What do you mean, we cannot date?" shouts the voice of a male character in desperation. "Just because you're an animal and I'm a human?"

"You heard me," replies a female character in a stern tone. "Now get out!"

The guy yells some profanities as he storms away, crying like a wuss. Sunny rolls her eyes and switches off the TV immediately. "Stupid people don't get that we're not in the same genus," she says to herself, annoyed.

As she is about to lie down for a quick nap, repeated knocks on the front door sound through the living room.

"Uhhh... Sunny, you there?" calls a familiar voice.

"What is it?" Sunny replies as she walks to the door.

"Um, I wanted to talk to you..." 'Oh great,' Parappa suddenly thinks to himself, 'now I'm starting to chicken out. Steady, knees, steady...'

"Yes?" Sunny politely asks as she opens the door.

"Okay," Parappa says, trying to calm down. "I will not reduce myself to begging. I will behave like a real dog instead of a little puppy." Then, adjusting his hat and clearing his throat, he speaks in a fake sophisticated voice, "A-A-Ahem. Ms. Sunny Funny, were you just messing with my head and kidding around when you said that we cannot date anymore?"

"No," Sunny says simply.

Hearing that, Parappa breaks down, collapsing on the ground and hugging Sunny's knees while whining, "Oh, NO! No, no, no, no! This cannot be ha-pen-niiiiiing!" He whimpers as he sucks his thumb while hanging on to his former girlfriend's leg with the other arm.

She sighs with a shake of her head. "Parappa, I thought I explained this..."

"I know, I know..." says her former boyfriend, stopping sucking on his thumb for one moment as he wrinkles his nose. "I was just hoping it was a bad dream or something."

"Well, it wasn't."

"Oh, kibbles 'n bits..." whines Parappa, his ears drooping, hugging Sunny's knee tighter.

"Parappa, come on..."

Long moments pass before he finally sits up, dusting himself off, "Okay, sorry about that. It's just... you know, it's hard for me to accept."

"Well, you're going to have to; flowers and animals just can't be together."

"I see. I understand. Well, it was nice while it lasted," he says as he holds unto Sunny's hand.

"Yeah it was," she replies, smiling.

Parappa smiles as well, but shrugs, "Oh well. Doesn't mean we can't be friends, right? I mean, we can still talk to each other and stuff like that, can't we?"

"Well, of course."

"Then, I guess that's okay." He sighs sadly but still smiles, "So see ya around, then. And sorry for buggin' ya."

"Don't worry about it, it's okay."

"Whew. So, catch ya later, pretty flower!" Parappa smiles, backing out and waving goodbye to her.

"Bye, puppy," smiles Sunny as well.

And so, after taking one last look at the flower girl as a 'girlfriend', Parappa stuffs his paws into his pockets and walks down the sidewalk, sulking, his mouth wrinkling up like paper.

* * * * *

Somewhere out there, though, a mysterious figure is also feeling misery in its heart. Rather, it itself is thinking it's misery. And it's not the same type of misery our rapping hero is experiencing. Nay. This is a misery of feeling... left out. Upstaged. Cast into the shadows so that the other person, the cause of its misery, is shone in the light. The being is planning on a plan to strike back against the cause of its misery, its pain, its suffering... A plan so evil that it (the plan) even scares itself... a tinee bit. This being, feared by its people, grins an evil grin as it laughs whole-heartedly, having this feeling inside itself that soon... soon... its revenge will be complete at last....

* * * * *