A/N: So here it is: the way overdue BBRae fic. I hope no one is OOC; that is one thing I can't stand, yet seem to struggle with when I'm writing a couple for the first time. For those following Farewell, My Love, a new chapter should be coming out soon. Sorry for the delays, I had a DC trip for school and I lost my flash drive, which just happened to have my emulators and Justice for All on it, and my DS is broken so I can't play it there. Sorry for the endless wait, life is a bitch sometimes.
Disclaimer: Teen Titans belongs to DC Comics. If I owned it, there would be a lot more romance and a ton of BBRae…and not all of it innocent…
Today was the day.
Raven began packing her bags, making sure not to miss a single thing. She had her mirror to Nevermore, her laptop, her diary with the raven feather bookmark from Beast Boy -
Except she didn't have that wonderful feather. It was gone, nowhere in sight. She couldn't ask Beast Boy for another one either - she was avoiding bumping into him, for a very valid reason: she didn't tell him she was moving out of the Tower.
It would break his heart, she knew, but it's only for 6 months. All her emotional turmoil about her feelings were making her break everything around her. Even the game console hadn't escaped her, charred to a brick in the living room. Cyborg wouldn't talk to her for a few days after that, only whispering to the burnt remains, promising over and over again to "never let that empath near you ever again." To say the least, the whole sight was quite worrying, and, dare she say, a little amusing.
The reason for her emotional turmoil was why she wouldn't tell Beast Boy; because, very plain and simple, it's him.
The small brushes of their thighs under the dining table, the way he made her swoon when he smiled, lighting up a room with that still-dorky grin, those looks he gave her when he thought she wasn't looking...
At the age of 23, she was acting like a school girl, fawning over him. It felt a little sickening, but what could she say? She was head over heels, she just didn't know it yet.
Holding up her bags with her powers, she pulled them out with her to the deck. Robin was supposed to be driving her, but when she saw that familiar green skin, she considered bolting.
"Raven?" She gulped.
"Yes, Beast Boy?"
"Where the hell do you think you're going?"
There it was; that inevitable anger because she hadn't told him that she's leaving. It just made it more obvious it's because of him.
"I just need some time to meditate."
"'Meditate'?" He shook his head. "If it was just to meditate, you would have told me."
"I just...didn't think it was important to you." A huge obvious lie.
"Rae, since when is anything involving you not important to me?"
She knew she was in for it at this point. With that question, feelings could come out, and that is the last thing she wanted right now. She was trying so hard to get away from this, yet here she was, dealing with it head on.
When he didn't hear her answer, he sighed.
"Look, Rae, you know you can't keep running from this. As much as I want to let you go, I can't. I can't live without you, because I lo-"
A hand made of black energy clamped over his mouth, preventing him from saying it. Somewhere in the distance, some glass object exploded.
"Don't you dare say it," she snapped out.
It was all too much. If he confessed his feelings, she wouldn't be able to take it. She lifted up her bags with her powers again, and ran back to her room, never dispelling the black hand until she was out of earshot.
She searched through her bags until she found her mirror, and transported herself to Nevermore.
"Love!" She screamed. "Where the hell are you?!"
When no answer came, she continued through Nevermore, finding the purple-clad emotion rolling around in a flower field with Happy.
"Love, as much as I like the fact that you're trying to be active, what are you thinking? I can't fall in love with Beast Boy!" She heard Love sigh at her, as if everything was so simple and she just couldn't see it.
"Raven, I'm only your emotion. I'm just an embodiment of what you feel. If you really want to know what's going on, maybe you should take it up with yourself."
She knew this was coming. This was all her fault and blaming Love, or even Lust, was not going to solve anything. The problem here was her, and that's what she was afraid of.
Without a word, she took off, running back through the portal to the outside world once again. As much as she wished she didn't have to, she needed to sit down and think.
What could she possibly say? Beast Boy was...idiotic (yet slightly charming), immature (yet cute in his own way), maybe a little handsome (more like smoking hot), and...She stopped. Even though she could see the flaws, they didn't even bother her. In fact, they lead to the things she loved about him.
"Love"? Oh god, did she really-?
No, she refused to think that way. Yet she knew she already has, and that upset her.
Figuring that Beast Boy would be in his room, she traveled down the hallway towards his door. Just standing there felt forbidden. Wanting to get this over with, she knocked firmly on the door.
The door immediately swung open, as if he were expecting her, which probably wasn't very far from the truth.
"Beast Boy, I-"
"C'mon in, Rae."
Warily, she stepped over the threshold, only to be brought with the biggest surprise she'd had in the last few years.
Beast Boy's room was completely spotless. No litter, no clutter...the furniture and walls were even visible. She noticed that the walls have been paint splattered, so unlike the gray walls she assumed would still be there. She took a seat on the bed while he continued to stand.
"Beast Boy?" Her voice was hoarse.
"Yeah, Rae?" She hesitated.
"What's your real name?" He shook his head before pondering it for a moment.
"...Only if you tell me yours." She took a deep breath.
"Rachel Roth," she breathed, hiding under her hood. "I hate it though."
"Lamb, right?" She nodded. "Mine's Garfield Mark Logan."
"Field of spears?" He nodded back. "Charming." He could only grin at her.
"So, Gar, I came he-"
"If you don't like it, then I won't call you it."
"No, no, no! I like it!" He practically yelped, waving his hands in front of him. Raven raised her eyebrows, but didn't press.
"As I was saying..." She trailed off, looking deep into his eyes, searching. Finally, she spoke.
"Say it." He knew what she meant right away. His eyes were on the brink of bulging out of their sockets, but he didn't relent.
"I love you, Rae."
"I love you too, Gar." She said, almost a whisper, praying that nothing would explode. She could hear something sizzling, but ignored it.
Garfield stared at her in sheer amazement for a moment before moving toward her, seating himself next to her on the bed. He pulled down her hood and stared into her eyes, as if he could see straight through her. She inwardly gulped.
"Gar?" He began to move his face closer to hers until they could feel each other's breathing.
"What are you doing?"
"I'll tell you when I figure it out."
And then he leaned toward her, and the whole world around her melted. It was sweet and innocent, and she fought to keep it that way. What if she lost control and hurt him?
Breaking away from his sweet, tantalizing lips, she laid down the law.
"Some ground rules, Gar." He sat up, paying full attention to her every word. "Nothing too...intimate. Making out a little is okay, but nothing too serious. Nothing below the waist, and clothes stay on. However, we could do without the belts. Lose it, Gar. It's digging into my hip."
"Okay," he obliged, and, as an afterthought, leant down and gently slipped off her boots. "What about your cape?"
"That's fine," she assured him. "But nothing else."
It was hard on him, she knew, but she had no choice. It was either this, or his life, and he knew that too. Eventually she would be able to handle more, but right now was a little early.
She undid her cape, moving it to the side. Without it, her breasts really showed, betraying her size. His gaze proved her point; his eyes were glued to her chest. She rolled her eyes. Guys are such perverts.
"Are you going to stare at me all day, or are you going to kiss me?" She said in her usual monotone.
He grinned at her, leaning back in once more for a kiss.
This one was a little more passionate, less wary, and involved a little tongue. She knew he was trying his best to control himself, she could feel it in how reserved he was. Somehow, that made her feel bad. She wanted to turn it into more, she really did, but-
Ah, to hell with.
She met him full on, and, as surprised as he was, he still goes along with it. When the need for air arose, she cut it off herself. Somehow he had ended up on top of her. He stared at her, as if pondering what he should say.
"Rae...?" They were both breathing heavy.
"One time thing," she waved her hand dismissively. "Just this once." It sounded like she was trying to convince herself more than him.
Without a word, he started back into her again, breaking away from her mouth to trail kisses down her jaw, stopping at her neck, asking silent permission. She nodded at his request, drawing down her finger slightly to indicate how much he could.
He drew down the top of her leotard to reveal her neck, instantly nibbling and sucking the sensitive flesh. A tiny, almost inaudible gasp came from Raven. She could see him trying (and failing) to repress the smirk playing at his lips.
Eventually he stopped. A small sound of protest came from her, but he moved to kiss her again.
Slowly, tantalizingly, he trailed his fingers from her jaw, to her neck, and then finally...
She tensed at the soft touch of his hands on her breasts, but melted into a puddle after a few moments. His touch just felt so good, and she was still wearing her leotard. She couldn't help the small sounds that escaped her lips. The pleasure was overwhelming, spreading a fire through her. Fear, however was telling her that it was going too far. She was so afraid of what would happen now, and-
His window shattered.
She broke away from him and took his hands off her chest, never looking in his eyes as she struggled to get out from under him. He pinned her to the bed, her anxiety growing by the second.
"Garfield Mark Logan, if you do not release me right now, I swear I'll-!"
He brought her chin down for her to look him in the eye, but she still refused. How could she not?
For all she knew, it could be him instead of the window, and she just couldn't risk that.
"Raven, look at me." She still declined, struggling even harder at the sound of her name instead of that all too familiar nickname.
She finally looked, resenting herself for being the cause of that hurt face. He would never be able to fully understand why she was distancing herself from people, even him. She needed to protect people from the demon deep inside her that threatened to come out.
"Gar, I can't-"
"Can't what, Rae? It's not your fault. Don't run away from me. I don't know what I'd do without you. We can work it out, I promise. Just stay here with me, please." He was begging her silently now, kissing her hand and holding it to his chest. How can she leave him like this? His face alone has her heartbroken, but that voice, still begging her-
She took him in her arms, holding tight. All in an instant, he tensed, relaxed, and hugged her back just as fiercely.
"Sorry about your window," she apologized. "I can fix it now, if you want."
"I think it can wait until later..."
She was confused. It would only take a second, after all. But then he drew her into his lap, and she finally understood. Apparently she wasn't the only one who was turned on. A pink blush covered her cheeks, and she shifted around nervously, which definitely wasn't helping with his...problem. She saw him biting his lip to suppress the groan fighting to come out.
"Gar-!" She squeaked.
"Don't act so cute, you're only making it worse." His breath hitched as she shifted again.
"Maybe I should come back later."
"If you go, I won't be able to fix anything." He muttered to himself, but she still heard.
"Seriously?" He nodded, slightly embarrassed.
"Well, then... I guess I'll stay and help you."
"You don't have to do that!" He shook his head frantically. "I'll be fine, really!"
Her eyes narrowed into a sultry gaze, and her mouth formed a sexy pout. Garfield gulped.
"Gar?" Her voice reeked of Lust's silky tone.
"Y-Yes?" She rocked her hips, earning a gasp.
"You sure you want me to leave?"
"Fine, I'll go."
And just like that, she had vanished from his lap and out the door. He sighed.
"Rae, you are one wicked woman."
Raven started unpacking her bags, telling Robin her change of plans. She still couldn't find her raven feather though, no matter where she looked. Sighing, she ventured into the common room to find Garfield. As expected, he was trying to best Cyborg at another racing game. His car crashed, and she used the opportunity.
"Beast Boy?" Raven could have sworn she saw him bristling like a cat, but, oddly, not because of his loss.
"Yeah, Rae?" He turns to her.
"A moment, please."
Cyborg watched utterly confused as the empath lead the changeling down the hall.
"Man, what'd I miss?"
Raven lead Garfield to her bedroom. Opening the door, she invited him in, but he shuffled his feet at the doorway, hesitating.
"What's wrong?" She asked.
"Sorry, Rae, it's just your room-"
"My room is like Halloween, I know." She sighed.
"No! No, it's just...your scent is everywhere, and it's a little intimidating. Not in a bad way, just...you know?" She nodded, recalling what he had once told her about scent.
'In the animal kingdom, if a predator has left a scent, the other lesser predators know to back off.'
Didn't that make her a bigger predator than him, though?
"Gar, you can come in. I don't bite."
He finally stepped inside, if not uneasily, but he still stood awkwardly, not bothering to sit. Shaking her head, she pulled him down to sit on the bed next to her.
"Why did you call me Beast Boy just now?"
"Oh..." So that's why he was acting weird. "I wasn't sure if you wanted me to call you Gar in front of other people or not. You were touchy about telling me your name, so I wasn't really sure."
"You actually thought about that? I'm so touched!" He said, mockingly holding his hands to his chest. She responded by whacking him with a pillow. He laughed, grabbing the pillow from her and tossing it to the side before creeping on top of her. A blush covered her cheeks.
"See, it's cuter when you say it."
"Shut up." He chuckled, low and deep.
"So what did you wanna talk about, anyway?"
She blinked. "Huh?"
"You know, the reason you called me here?"
"I lost the raven feather you gave me." It was his turn to blink now.
"You kept that?" She nodded. "I thought you threw it away or something."
"Obviously not." Her monotone came out again.
"No problem," He said cheerfully. "I can get you another easily."
"Good to know." She rolled her eyes sarcastically.
"Where were we?"
Before she could utter a comeback, his lips were on hers.
It was sweeter and more innocent than last time. He held her carefully, rubbing her arms soothingly. He knew how distressed she was about last time, even if she didn't say anything outright. They broke away slowly this time, trying to savor the feeling.
"Shhh..." He hushed her, enveloping her in his arms.
And for the first time since she was a child, Raven cried.
A/N: This took months to write, and I still feel like it's nowhere near done. So this is technically "complete", but there might be another chapter to this, depending on where my writing takes me. Most likely there will be a companion fic instead, but I can't say for sure. I'm not proud of this at all, but I decided to post it anyway, because yolo! :P
Seriously though, this is not my best work at all, so please don't judge my writing off of this. If there is a companion fic or another chapter, it will be a lot better than this. Maybe it won't break the 2,000 word count like this one, but who knows? Anyway, hope you enjoyed this even if it is really sucky compared to how I write now. This was written a long time ago, and my writing has changed since then, so I beg you to read my current stories if they interest you because this is really crappy. '^_^
Well see ya loves, hope for the best! 3