Here I am with the update. The final chapter. And LO AND BEHOLD another suicide note. I do that a lot, actually. I seem to be fairly good at it. Anyways.

TRIGGER WARNING for suicide/suicide attempt (trying not to spoil anything) and blood.

Ok. So. Enjoy.

Ed had no idea how long he spent walking down the now-dark streets. The sun had long since gone down, and his tears had long since dried up. He didn't remember screaming, but his throat felt like he had. He walked aimlessly, completely lost in his thoughts. How? Where? When? I don't know. I've never…killed myself before. Obviously. But still. I know Fuhrer Bastard tried once with a gun, but I don't have a gun. I could jump. But off of what? I don't have any pills or anything. I do have a rope, but would I be able to make that work. There's so many ways it could go wrong. I only have one chance. I don't know what to do, but I need to do it. Soon. I've hurt Al too much. I mean, this will hurt him, too. But then that's it. I won't be able to hurt him anymore. And I won't have to feel like this any longer. I can't. I can't deal with this anymore. I'm supposed to be strong but I'm not that strong. I've fought so many monsters but I can't fight myself anymore. I don't think I'll be able to stand another day. I need to this. Tonight. But how?

Ed barely even realized he had fallen to the ground as his next thought ran through his head. He felt a morbid smile grow on his worn face. I have a knife.

Ed wasn't even aware of his flight home. His mind was stuck on repeat. I have a knife. I have a knife. I have a knife. He knew without a doubt that it would work. He knew exactly how to slice through skin. Exactly where to cut. Exactly how deep it had to be. He and Al found a body once. A girl who had ended her own life. Ed shuddered at the memory. It was gruesome. So much blood. But her face…she looked so peaceful. I remember her smile. I had dreamed about it for weeks. Soon that will be me. Ed slowed to a walk as he approached his apartment building and his excitement dimmed. The light in Al's bedroom was on. I can't let him know. Besides, I don't think I'd be able to talk to him right now. It will take a while, but he'll realize it's for the best. He'll remember all the times I've hurt him and he'll be relieved. I won't be able to hurt him anymore.

Ed took a deep breath and cleared his head as he stepped into the apartment. Sure enough, Al's bedroom door was closed. Ed walked towards it silently. He could hear Al crying. Ed almost knocked on the door, wanting to comfort his brother and apologize. His hand froze right before knocking. I can't. It's for the best.

Instead, Ed entered his own room, overcome with exhaustion. He decided with a nod that his plan could wait until tomorrow. After all, he didn't want Al to be the one to find him.

I'm running. Running. I'm looking for something. Someone? But everything is black. Completely black. I can't see anything. Not even myself. I know my legs are moving. I know my hands are reaching out. But I can't see them. I can't see anything. Wait. There. A light. Moving. It seems just ahead. Wait. I can see a figure now. Holding the light. Holding it in their palm. Like a ball. But they're walking away. Farther. Farther. Farther. I run. I run as fast as I can. But the faster I run, the rather away they get. I stop. Collapse. I can't move. In the distance, they turn around. Wait. Not "they". ''He". Al. Slowly, too slowly, Al walks back. Getting closer. closer .closer. Until he's right there. He's right here. Al. I can't speak. I can't move. I want to do something. I have to do something. Al. I can't. I can't move. Why can't I move. Al. Wait. Is he talking? What is he saying? Listen. Listen.

Ed woke up. Screaming. The last of the dream burned in his brain. Al's voice. Quiet. Filled with hate or sorrow or both. "Goodbye, Brother."

Ed ran to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet in time. After the meager contents of his stomach disappeared down the drain, he curled up on the floor, fighting to remember last night. The dinner. Al crying. The dream. What else? Ed bolted to his feet. The knife!

He opened his door. The place was eerily quiet. "Al?" Ed walked into the kitchen. "Hey, Al? You here?" When no answer came, Ed went into his brother's room. It was empty. Al was gone. Ed smiled. His first real smile in a long time.

Ed opted to spend his last few hours alive trying to enjoy himself. He felt relaxed. Lighter. Already he was at peace with his plan. He took his time taking a long shower. Though he hadn't worn it in a long time, he retrieved his old outfit. The familiar black leather and red cloth hugged him. He chuckled as he examined his old platform shoes. He didn't need those anymore, and they were too small for him anyways.

Once dressed, he cleaned the apartment. He piled his belonging on his bed. That will make it easier for Al to get rid of my stuff. Ed shook his head, promising to not think of Al anymore. He couldn't change his mind. No matter what.

With everything settled to Ed's satisfaction, he allowed himself to slow down. He had purposefully kept himself busy, stalling for no reason. He forced himself to focus. It's time.

Ed grabbed the notepad and pen that he and Al kept on the counter for messages. He vaguely noticed that a page had been ripped off. He only noticed because they had yet to actually use it yet, since they relayed messages through mouth rather than paper. He shrugged it off and put the pad down on the table. Now, the knife. I'll write the note and leave it here. Then I'll go somewhere. I don't know where, but away from here. Al can't find me. He shook his head at breaking his promise. No. I'm going to do this. There's no turning back.

Ed approached the closet where they kept the knife. It was hidden in a box under some towels, to be used in an emergency. He and Al sharpened it regularly to make sure it'd be ready for immediate use should there be danger. Without Ed's alchemy and with their reputation, they could be mistaken for a good target.

Wait. The box's too light.

Ed opened the box and found a single piece of paper, folded up with his name printed in Al's handwriting. He dropped to his knees and his heart fell with him. It was a note.

Brother, I know now that you don't want me around. You're angry at me, even if you won't admit it. I think I know why. Ever since you brought my body back in exchange for your alchemy, you've grown more distant. I know you hate not having alchemy, and having to rely on mine. Of course, I know it's more than that. But you won't talk to me.

The truth is, Brother, is that I haven't been doing very well since then. I don't know what's happening to me, but I feel so empty and sad all the time. I thought that becoming a State Alchemist, that having a purpose again, would help. But it didn't, and I had no idea what to do. I started to do something terrible, Brother. I tried to find ways to tell someone, to tell you, but I could never find the words. But it doesn't matter now, because I'm leaving. I can't do this anymore. I can't bear this pain. It's too much. It won't stop. I've been thinking about doing this for a while now, but I stayed here for you. I realize now, though, that I can give us both something we want. I can get rid of this pain and get your alchemy back too.

I know you'll be okay, Brother. You don't need me. You'd be better off without me. Everyone will.

I love you.

Ed rushed to the bathroom again, but there was nothing in his stomach to throw up. After a few minutes of dry heaving, he sat down and re-read the note. The more he read it, the more tears smeared the ink, until he could only read it from memory. As he sat there, he tried to think of where Al would go. It was pretty obvious what he was doing. It was the same thing Ed was going to do.

All this time…I should have listened. Al. Al.

"AL!"

Ed screamed as he rushed out the door, going to the only place he could think Al might go. It was the only kind of place Al would go for this. At least, Ed thought so. He had no idea when Al left, or how much time he would take. Ed could only hope that Al hadn't done it yet.

As he ran, his thoughts were stuck on Al and his heart was filled with guilt. This is my fault. He tried to tell me. He felt the same way, but he actually tried to tell me. It's my fault. I thought I was doing what was best for him. I thought I'd be helping. But I didn't know. I didn't listen. I'm the one who deserves to die, not him. Not Al. NOT MY LITTLE BROTHER!

Ed quickly reached the river leading away from Central. He has to be here. I can't be wrong. I have to save him. He has to be here. Ed ran along the river bed as he searched for Al. Every second that passed felt like an hour.

There. "Al! AL!" Ed sprinted and fell to the ground next to his brother's unmoving body. Ed took in the scene with horror. There was an uncompleted transmutation circle on the ground, drawn with the blood that Al's body was covered with. There were two deep gashes on each arm, splitting the skin diagonally. The knife that Ed had planned on using lay on the ground.

Ed scrambled for Al, pulling him into his arms. He searched for a pulse, his blood-covered hands slipping.

Ed sighed in slight relief. A pulse. Just strong enough to indicate life. He tore his cloak to make bandages, tightly winding them around Al's arms. Ed noted that there was still some blood flowing. At least that too meant Al was still alive. With the wounds bound, Ed fought to find a way to wake up his brother. It would take too long to reach Central, and as long as Al was unconscious, he would likely fade away before they even had a chance at reaching a hospital. And without his alchemy, there was no way to signal for help.

"Al. Al, you have to wake up. I can't save you like this. You have to wake up. Please wake up." Ed dragged Al towards the river, unable to think of anything else. He brought Al's body to the edge of the water and used more pieces from his coat to clean up the blood.

As the blood on Al's arm washed away, Ed noticed with dread that there were marks going up both of Al's arms. Scars? Some look really old. But others look brand new. No. No. Al would never do that. But. He did say he was doing something terrible. Is this what he meant? He's been…cutting himself? Ed sobbed and his desperation grew. I didn't know. I should have known! How could I be such a terrible brother!

Ed began shaking Al's body and checking his pulse obsessively. "Alphonse, please come back. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have been there for you. I should have listened and watched. You're my little brother. I should have noticed. I didn't know. I didn't know you felt the same way I did. I thought I was doing the right thing. I knew I was hurting you, but I didn't want you to know. I didn't want you to find out. All this time, we've felt the same way, but you tried to get help. You tried to tell me and I didn't listen. I promise I'll listen now. I'll never think about killing myself again, I promise. I'll stay here. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Al. Come back. PLEASE WAKE UP!"

As Ed screamed and repeated his last words, he felt, with shock, that Al's pulse had changed. "Alphonse? Alphonse! Come on! Please! You're almost there! Please wake up! Wake up. Wake up!"

Ed kept talking as Al's pulse grew slightly stronger. He rocked Al in his arms as tears continued to stream down his face. His throat began to feel raw, and his body began to tire, but he kept going. Al's pulse plateaued, but was strong enough to relieve some of Ed's worry. But still, Al did not wake up.

Hours passed and the sun was high in the sky. Ed thought of nothing but his brother, even as his voice grew hoarse and would barely produce anymore words. He brought his mouth to Al's ear. "I love you. Please wake up. I love you."

Finally, FINALLY, Al stirred. He groaned and buried his face into Ed's chest. "ALPHONSE!" Ed resisted movement, not wanting to disturb his brother. "Al." He felt his rigid body relax. "You're awake." Al groaned again and tried to lift himself up. He hissed at the pain in his arms and fell back into Ed's lap. "Al, don't move. I don't think you're strong enough yet. Just stay here for a bit."

Al's eyes opened slowly and focused, just as slowly, on Ed's face. Al smiled slightly and let out a small breath. "Brother."

Ed grinned as tears fell anew and hauled his little brother into a tight hug. "You idiot."

TA-DA! And yes, unfortunately, that is the end.