Helga Muyo: part 5
No need for a scientific mission

If you haven't figured it out yet, the author owns none of this. Tenchi Muyo! is the creation Kajishima Masaki and owned by AIC. Hey Arnold! is the creation of Craig Bartlett and owned by Nickelodeon. Nic and AIC, sue me if you dare, but I warn you, you'll lose more money paying your army of zombie attack lawyers than you can collect from me. BHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Somewhere in rural Japan USA (no wait, Japan isn't in America. I think it's in Mexico)

Arnold laid in bed asleep. He looked serene and disengaged from the turmoil of the rest of the world in the light of the early dawn entering in through his window. His covers came up to his chin neatly wrapping him in its warmth. The rising and falling of his chest was going at a slow rhythmic pace. No noise say the exhale of Arnold's breath could be heard.

"Git up, Football-head!" bellowed Helga while she was ripping the sheets off the bed and throwing them to the wall. Helga finished her task of waking Arnold by giving him a kick in the hip.

"How many times I have to tell you, Helga: don't come in my room in the mornings."

"But we're a couple now, so that rule doesn't apply to me anymore."

"Like heck you and Arnold are a couple." Sasami stormed in the room, stood on top of the bed and pushing Helga back. "Arnold, that awful girl didn't hurt you did she?"

Arnold looks up at Sasami and gave her a false smile. "That's okay, Sasami. Helga's not doing anything wrong."

"Oh, but I AM going to do lots of wrong things to Arnold." Arnold was shocked that Helga was saying that in a sexy voice, which he never heard from her. He turned to Helga who is now wearing a white dress and black and red vest, the same one Ryoko usually wears.

"You'll regret the day you try that Miss Helga." Arnold turned his attention towards Sasami who is now wearing Aeka's Kimoto.

"Oh look, lit' miss Princess is goin' to punish me. Oh, what will I ever do?" Helga, who hair was now blue-green and spiked, mocked. She got on Arnold's left side and started nuzzling him.

Sasami, who's hair style was now exactly like Aeka's, pushed Helga away. "Leave Lord Arnold alone, devil woman." Sasami grabbed Arnold's arm. "Come Lord Arnold, you don't want to associate with the likes of her."

Helga grabbed Arnold's other arm and said in Ryoko's voice, "Wanna bet, Princess."

Sasami tried yanking Arnold away from Helga and yelled back in Aeka's voice, "Let go of him."

Arnold turmed to where Helga was only to find Ryoko in her place. "Drop dead, old maid." Arnold turned his head the other way only to find Aeka in Sasami's place.

"Leave Lord Tenchi alone." Suddenly, it was Tenchi in Arnold's place.



"Aaaawwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Tenchi shot up out of his bed gasping for air. He went to the bathroom and looked in the mirror. "It's still me," he whispered. Tenchi gazed at his reflection which indicated to him that he needed a trim and a shave. "I wonder why I dreamt Helga and Sasami was turning into Ryoko and Aeka and Arnold was turning into me." Tenchi started back to his room when he saw a familiar face. "Grandpa, what are you doing up so early?"

Katsuhito was in a pair of blue pajamas looking solemn. "I heard you scream. So I got up to check up on you. Must have been a pretty bad dream, huh Tenchi?"

"Well," Tenchi chuckled, "it was a doozy."

"Tell me about your dream, grandson." Tenchi told his grandfather about the dream.

"So, Grandpa, what does it mean."

"You of all people should know, Tenchi."

"No way! That whole mess is already settled. Sasami and Arnold are a couple. I mean Arnold made his choice."

"Unlike you, Tenchi."

"Well..."

Grandfather and grandson conversation was interrupted (and grandson was glad too) when they heard an argument in the living room.


"Helga, Arnold's history report isn't due til next week." Sasami stumped her feet pouting at Helga.

"You want Arnold to rush though his report at the last minute and flunk," Helga sneered.

"I'm not going to fool around and not finish my report. You know me better than that."

"Off course she does," Sasami said in agreement, "she's just doesn't want to see each other." Sasami took Arnold by the hand and tried leading him away, but Arnold just stood there staring at Helga. "Come on, Arnold."

"Sure, Sasami," Arnold half-hearted responded and made their way to Sasami's room.

Helga wasn't going to let this discourage her. She went about the house calling for Nobuyuki and Katsuhito. As Helga was looking, she came across Ryoko. "Hey, Ryoko, have your seen Grandpa and Noby?"

"No," Ryoko answered, "I haven't. Why you're looking for those two?"

"I saw Arnold and Sasami go into Sasasmi's room. I figure if I make it sound like they were making out in Sasami's room, I could get Sasami in trouble and away from Arnold."

"ARE YOU SUCH A COWARD YOU GET TENCHI'S OLD MAN AND GRANDPA TO FIGHT YOUR BATTLES FOR YOU!!!!!" Ryoko's yelled loud enough that Helga's ears were ringing.

"What's the big idea, Ryoko? I thought we were on the same side?"

"All you're doing is playing the spoiler for everyone else Arnold's interested in." Ryoko put her hands to her side. "If that all you're doing to do, then you don't deserve Arnold."

"Now, wait a sec, Ryaldo..."

"No, you wait, Helga." said Ryoko sternly, "if all you do is break up Arnold's relationships with other girls and not tell him that you're interested, all you'd done is left him alone. I wouldn't do that to Tenchi. I never hid my true feelings from him. You never once told Arnold."

"As a matter of fact, I did, sort of."

"What do mean, 'sort of'?"

Helga explained to Ryoko the time she pretended to be Cecile, Arnold pen pal from France and met him in a French restraunant on Valentine's Day. She almost got him to like here like her, but Arnold didn't know who she really was.

Ryoko stooped down to Helga's eye level and smiled at her. "Why don't you tell him, Helga? I'm sure he would want to find out who Cecile was."

"After, all those years torturing him, calling him 'Footballhead', and making him the object of all of my evil plans, he's going to believe I'm his long-lost sweetheart?"

"Why not? He knows how you really feel about him."

"That's another thing: it sickens him to think I have a thing for him."

Ryoko gritted her teeth. "Fine then, give up on Arnold and move on elsewhere. He obviously doesn't mean that much to you." Ryoko turned around and started walking away but not before Helga grabbed her by the collar of her blouse.

"That's not true. Arnold means everything to me."

"Then fight for him..."




Inside her interdimensional laboratory, Washuu was on her holographic labtop calibrating her equipment. It was a clear pipe running to the very end of the horizon. Her screen showed a brown crystal suspended in midair, held in place by green rays emitted from orbs at the end of metal cylinder almost completely enclosing the crystal but leaving a space in the front. In front that space was the end of the clear tube. Washuu hears the bell in front of her dimensional door open. "Mihoshi, how many do I have to you not to come in my lab when I'm in the middle of an experiment!"

"I'm sorry, Little Washuu." The voice wasn't Mihoshi. It came from Phoebe. "I didn't mean to disturb you, I can wait until you're finished with your lab work."

"No, Phoebe, YOU can stay. Unless of course, you insist on touching my equipment like certain Galaxy Police persons I know." Washuu gave Phoebe a puzzled look. "By the way, how did you get in her."

"Mihoshi let me in. But she didn't say you were in the middle of an important experiment."

"Figures."

"What scientific endeavor are you engaged in?"

"Nothing, really, just some impact testing on a fragment of Ryo-ohki. I'm working on a new configuration for her spaceship structure. It's to improve her structural integrity against collisions with meteors." Phoebe noticed a humming noise from a control consule on their end of the clear pipe. Washuu gave Phoebe a pair of goggles and earmuffs.

"Safety first." Phoebe put on both items. Suddenly, there was suddenly flash of light followed by a mushroom cloud rising out of the horizon. A few seconds later, the lab shook to the eruption of an ear-shattering explosion followed by a strong gust of wind.

Phoebe tore off her head gear. "You said you were impact testing. That was more like a nuclear explosion!"

"When a spaceship is flying through interstellar space at 25% the speed of light and hit a piece of ice off a comet, the amount of kinetic energy released is about the same as an atomic explosion."

"Gosh, Little Washuu, I didn't know that. You sure are smart."

"And you sure are trying to suck up. Whadda want?"

Phoebe put her hands together and started pleading to Washuu. "I overheard Ryoko and Tenchi talking. They said you were going a xeno-zoology study of another planet. It would mean so much to me if you..."

"The answer is 'no'," Washuu interrupted.

"But I didn't finish asking you."

"I already know what you want. And a species from a quarentine planet can't leave on a vessel of not their own creation, let alone accompany a professor of the Royal Science Academy."

"But we already know the existance of extraterrestrials. There's no harm in letting us see anymore. Besides, I heard you were quite the rebel and never listen to any of the Science Academy's rules."

"Is that what Ryoko told you about her mother?"

"No, that was what Mihoshi told us. Then, she showed us your records."

Washuu signed. "I'm going to have a long talk with Office Mihoshi on the right of privacy of galactic citizens."

"I mentioned that to her, and she said you committed some felonies and that reliquished your privacy rights."

Washuu, upon hearing this, fell over in her seat. "I thought the pardon from the regional governor deleted that from my records." Washuu picked herself back up. "All right, you can go."

"Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, Little Washuu!" Phoebe said. "I'll tell Arnold and the rest we're going to space with you." Phoebe ran out off the lab.

"Wait a sec. I didn't say anyone else could go." But Phoebe was already gone. "Nevermind, how much trouble could Phoebe, Arnold, Hel-ga, and Sa-sa-mi cause." The mention of the last two names gave Washuu a throbbing pain in her head.