A non-troll story from me? How many years has it been? Well, this still will be far more lighthearted than any BioShock game. Though after Burial at Sea, that should be welcome.
Just in case you did not notice in the description: this takes place immediately after Burial at Sea, Episode 2, so the very first line of this story will be a massive spoiler.
Robert & Rosalind are Dead
The Debt Paid
Sally walked away from Elizabeth's stiffening body. While she didn't want to leave Elizabeth, those two splicers standing a few feet away were scaring her. They didn't act or look like the other splicers, they just stared at her. The male splicer moved towards Elizabeth's body and Sally broke out into a full sprint.
"So, we're done then?" Rosalind asked while Robert inspected the body. "The cycle's broken?"
"Paid in full," Robert answered.
"Well then there's no reason for us to remain here." Rosalind snapped her head away from Elizabeth. She could not let Robert see her tears, if he knew she was not completely indifferent to the DeWitts she would never hear the end of it. "I promised you we would settle this, brother, and we have. Now let's go."
Robert knelt down by Elizabeth, he knew he shouldn't interfere any farther and yet, "Yes, but… we cannot just leave her like this, can we?"
"What else can we do? We've done our part and can put this all behind us." Rosalind cursed her brother's stronger sense of morality. Every moment they spent in Rapture weakened her wall against emotion.
Defeated, Robert nodded and started to get up when an idea struck him. He reached forward and pressed his hand over Elizabeth's face. Lowering his palm down, he forced Elizabeth's eyes closed, just as she had done to another Elizabeth weeks before. Robert stood up and walked back to Rosalind, who was hastily stuffing a teary handkerchief into her pocket. For her sake, he pretended not to notice. Neither of them bothered to take another glance at Elizabeth's body, which had begun to shift and twitch like an object being affected by a tear.
"You're right. I have to thank you for staying with me in this endeavor. Now we can do whatever you mind desires," Robert said. "Where shall we go? Dunwal? Azeroth? That horrible reality where everyone is a talking horse?"
Rosalind didn't answer, not verbally. In an instant Robert found himself sitting across from Rosalind at an outdoor café in Paris, tea and croissants already set out. Robert raised his eyebrows at Rosalind. This was the last place he'd expect her to go to.
"I just felt it might be nice to relax for moment. Perhaps you're rubbing off on me, brother," Rosalind answered, then took a sip of tea.
"In that case, have you given any thought to my proposal?" Robert asked. Rosalind's face darkened and she set her teacup down.
"You haven't even considered—"
"No, I mean I have thought about it, and my answer is no." Now Robert took on a similarly glum appearance at Rosalind's response. "Honestly, you would have us relinquish immortality and omnipotence for what? 2.5 children and a house with a white picket fence?"
"The design of the fence is entirely negotiable." Robert's answer may have seemed like their usual banter, but Rosalind detected an extra level of bite to the jab compared to normal.
"Brother, I know what this means to you. I just don't share your viewpoint, and I'm positive if you were to look at the situation from a logical perspective you would agree." This had no effect on Robert, who remained quiet. Rosalind forced a cough to break the silence. If seriousness wasn't getting to him, perhaps jest would.
"And think about it, what on Earth would name them?" Rosalind hoped that dwelling on the idea of children would point out to Robert how ridiculous it sounded. "I supposed if it was a girl, Rosamond would suffice."
"I would prefer Rosemary," Robert said.
"You would have our hypothetical daughter named after a single plant when she could be all the roses of the world?" Rosalind scoffed, "And furthermore, what if it was to be male? There's no name that could-"
"Ronald, of course."
Rosalind scrunched up her nose at the suggestion. "That's the sort of name I'd expect for a dreadful clown to have." She folded her arms and leaned back, ready to go in for the lecturing kill. "See, we are not suited for that sort of life. Besides, we already have the universe as our petri dish," She reached across the table and took Robert's hands in hers. "And most importantly, we have each other. There's nothing more we could ever need."
Robert opened his mouth to answer, but suddenly froze. His eyes widened in shock and horror. Rosalind turned around to see what had provoked this reaction. Once she saw what Robert had seen, her own face perfectly mirrored his. Stumbling towards them, clothing torn, her face half covered in blood, and constantly shifting like an unstable tear, was Elizabeth.