Vacation Hell

by Weirdbard

chapter 1.

I do not own the characters of Kim Possible or Ash Williams from Evil Dead series. I do own the character of Gloria Passion and Pat Rens. No profit is being made from this and is only for amusement.

This takes place in my Trio world where Kim, Ron and Shego are together as teammates and lovers. If this thought bothers you, please do not read. Previous stories in this world series are: Frequency of Evil, Trio, Dream Team and The Lusting. You don't need to read those to follow this one but it might make your enjoyment of the story easier.

Global Justice headquarters.

Agent Will Du strolled through the halls of Global Justice looking for stragglers, goldbrickers and even the occasional newbie that was legitimately lost in the confusing maze of corridors and doors that made up the highest ranking secret paramilitary police force in the world.

After the humiliating incident involving the Necronomicon book and the creatures known as the Deadites, Du's career with Global Justice had briefly hit the skids. Demoted to nothing more than a glorified hall monitor, Du had worked his ass off to regain the status of their number one agent again and even though Dr. Director finally had cleared him of any deliberate wrongdoing on his part and forgave him his temporary lack of reason that had resulted in the release of the terrors from the book and reinstated him back to his former position… Well Du still monitored the hallways of G.J. when he had no other mission.

That so many agents tried to shirk their duties during their watches by wandering the hallways had been unknown to him until his 'punishment' tour but now that he knew of it, he was determined that no one would escape doing their jobs for unscheduled breaks, rendezvous or unnecessary social interactions. That was why people had time off and meal breaks for.

Du frowned as he turned a corner in a hallway to only come face to face with one the biggest distractions that Global Justice had to offer. The reason that so many men in the large institute found reasons to take so many unscheduled breaks all the time was to follow around and ogle a woman, namely one Agent Gloria Passion.

The tall statuesque woman with a bustline that made men drool, and not a few ladies as well, was well known for her overly affectionate embraces to those she considered friends and the fact that no matter how many official complaints Du himself filed, she insisted on walking around most of the time with the zipper to her jumpsuit zipped down to almost the base of her ponderous breasts revealing far more cleavage than decorum permitted.

Gloria having spotted Du as he came around the corner frowned and for a moment she toyed with the idea of turning around and backtracking the way she had came to find another way to the place she was heading to, but she was loathed to change her direction just because of the overly officious pest Du.

While Du might like to classify her as an empty headed, walking overly developed chest, the fact was that Gloria Passion was one of Global Justice's top agents as well. There was a steel trap of a mind located behind that dazzling smile, awe inspiring physique and slightly ditzy façade. Recently she had transferred out of strategic planning department into doing field work as an intelligence gatherer. It was simply amazing what a man would reveal while staring down the valley of her breasts and even women would let secrets drop while trying to prove that they were better than Gloria was.

There was no two ways about it. Agent Gloria Passion was a dedicated, intelligent and physically capable agent and Agent Du would normally highly respect an agent like her, if it wasn't for her habit to throw herself at almost everyone in Global Justice and embrace them in an inappropriate manner. Everyone it seemed except for Du.

Not that Du wanted the blond Scandinavian Goddess to glomp him like that. At least that was what Du told himself. No it wasn't jealousy that motivated his dislike of the woman it was… Her lack of professionalism. Du gave a slight nod to himself as he once again convinced himself that was the sole reason he disliked the woman.

Gloria Passion frowned to herself as she noticed Du nodding his head about something right before his eyes zeroed in on her chest. Sure she was used to almost everyone staring at her chest first before looking to her face but the way Du did it always made her feel slightly uncomfortable. Making sure the zipper to her jumpsuit was fully zipped up she nodded to him. He was technically her superior after all.

"Agent Du."

Du nodded back. "Agent Passion. May I ask why you are in the hallways at this time of day?"

Gloria resisted the urge to roll her eyes. What were they? Still in high school and she had to have a hall pass? Instead of the eye roll she put a respectful look on her face and replied. "I was headed to the cafeteria."

Agent Du did roll his eyes at that before looking at his watch. "It is only eleven hundred." He stated using military time. "The cafeteria has just opened and I believe your meal time is scheduled for twelve hundred sharp?"

Gloria's respectful look slipped to be replaced with a sour look. Again, what made Du think he had the right to control her? He maybe her superior but she was not just going for her own benefit but because Dr. Director and Ash Williams had asked her pick up some food for them but an annoyed Gloria wasn't going to tell Du that part.

"Why would anyone want to rush to our cafeteria anyway? I imagine the kitchen staff is making their mystery meat special once again." Du noted as it was Wednesday, when they usually served that barely digestible mess.

"Ronnie is back from assignment and maybe helping out with the cooking today. I spotted Kim and Shego sparring in the gym so they must have wrapped up their assignment early." Gloria stated with a sour look on her face as she tried not to grit her teeth with having to deal with Du.

Du gave an annoyed huff. "Their names are Agent Stoppable, Agent Possible and…." Du paused and finished sourly since no one knew what Shego's last name was. "Agent Shego. Please refer to them by those names and those amateurs have such amazing luck always getting the easy missions. How else can they finish them so quickly?"

Gloria's sour look was quickly turning into an angry one. She hated the way Du denigrated Ron, Kim and Shego when they weren't around. They were now fully employed by Global Justice so they were hardly 'amateurs'. Indeed Gloria knew something that Du didn't. She had recently seen the evaluation reports on Dr. Director's desk and had looked them over. In overall ranking of effectiveness of field agents Du was indeed top dog, followed by her, then Ron, Kim, Shego and an agent Gloria hadn't run into yet that was named Pat Rens. If Du wasn't careful he just might get toppled once again by either herself or Ron as top dog, a mental image that brought a smile back to Gloria's face.

Du in annoyance noted agent Passion's smile and wondered if she was trying to seduce her way out of the minor hall infraction or what was more likely she had simply tuned him out and was thinking of agent Stoppable's cooking again. He was about to reprimand her once again for wasting time when she was on duty but was stopped as a light chime was heard from the ceiling that came before all announcements. Since he had already noted that it was eleven a.m. and the cafeteria was opening to those that had early lunch schedules, Du suspected that the announcement would be what the cafeteria was serving that day. He almost hoped that agent Passion was wrong about Ron cooking just so he could see the disappointment on her face.

A hope that was dashed as Ron Stoppable's cheerful voice called out from the speakers along the ceiling. "Today's lunchtime theme is…"

Du frowned as he expected that the amateur was going to say his beloved Mexican style.

"Italian. We will be serving Pizzeria style pizzas, lasagna, old world style spaghetti, garlic bread and for desert several different flavors of frozen gelato. Have a pleasant meal everyone."

"Even the man's voice has an insufferable smile in it." Du thought to himself in irritation.

Almost as if someone had fired a starter's gun, all the doors in the hallway opened at almost the same moment and people started to flood the hallway, all of them trying to get to the cafeteria before the food was gone. Du reacted instantly as he started yelling at the people in the hallway.

"Agent Jones, I know your meal time is scheduled for oh thirteen hundred hours. Where do you think you are going? Agent Thompson? Your meal time is for the same time period. As a matter of fact all the lunch allotments for this floor is oh thirteen hundred! Where do you all think you are going? You will wait till your proper allotted meal times!"

As Du began his mini melt down, Gloria Passion took the opportunity to slip past him and head for the elevators. Dr. Director and Ash would not be happy if they missed out on Ron's cooking just because Du had held her up and too many others reached the cafeteria before her and the food had ran out.

Shego took a deep breath of Kim's enticing scent as she grappled with the sweaty woman and barely kept from releasing a moan, as Kim once again connected to her side with a boxing glove covered fist. They were engaged in her second favorite activity with the fiery red head, namely sparring. Shego had almost feared that this activity would cease when her, Kim and Ron had became lovers and she had to admit she would have missed it. No one else could stand toe to toe with her in a fight like Kim could and now Shego had the best of both worlds, sparring and sex.

Shego's enthusiasm dimmed just a trace as Kim landed another blow to her kidney region. "Damn it Kim we're supposed to be sparring not trying to really tear each other part. " She reminded the slightly shorter woman. The fierce and driven look on Kim's face was immediately replaced with concern. "I didn't hurt you did I?" She asked.

Shego frowned. "Princess you should know by now that I can take a lot." Shego grinned and even though she knew it would once again spark what Ron called her inner Kimminess, she couldn't resist the temptation. "Not like you now or ever could beat me in a fight."

Shego nearly laughed out loud as Kim leapt away from her and Kim's face flushed red and a fire appeared in her eyes. "I seem to remember all those times you used to work with Drakken that it was I that won the fights." Kim nearly snarled.

"You wish. We always had to cut our fights short because Ron would find the button and push it destroying Drakken's lab." It was an age's old banter between her and Kim, but it never failed to ignite Kim's passion… In fighting.

Kim lunged at Shego throwing a kick but Shego reacted by grabbing Kim's outstretched leg and pulling her close. Kim tried to get out of the hold by once again punching Shego in the side but Shego wrapped her arms around Kim tightly and pulled her so close Kim couldn't get the necessary angle or leverage to get a good punch in this time. As Kim struggled to get out of the hold, she ground her inner thighs against Shego's leg and Shego's mind instantly jumped to the thing that was number one on her list to do with the redhead. Bending her head slightly Shego let her tongue glide up and down Kim's sweaty neck, savoring the flavor that was uniquely her's.

Kim instantly froze. "Shego….Shego! This is supposed to be sparring, not foreplay!"

"For me it is both?" Shego said with a smirk as she sucked on Kim's neck and nipped playfully.

Kim starting to breathe heavily and relax into Shego's arms and Shego instantly spun on one foot and threw Kim across the room into a padded wall.

Rising to her feet Kim glared at Shego. "You may now work for the good guys but you still fight dirty."

Shego flashed Kim her most devilish smile. "I like to do everything down and dirty. Ready to call it quits Princess and hit the showers?"

"Um, no? I'm not quitting till I get you back for that trick."

"We could go to the showers and I'll let you 'get' me as much as you want." Shego said purring seductively.

Kim started moving towards her but cautiously, she wasn't going to fall for that same trick twice. "Not while we are at Global Justice Shego."

Shego frowned. "Oh why not? There hasn't been anyone in the gym since we've been here so there is bound to not be anyone in the showers either. Sex can be even wilder when there is a chance of getting caught while doing it."

"You know this place!" Kim replied scandalized. "They have cameras and monitors everywhere."

"So…" Shego said with a shrug. "We've exercised and sparred here many times and always took a shower afterwards. If they have cameras in there that might see us making out, they have already seen us naked."

Kim's eyes grew wide. For some reason she hadn't thought of that. Either they didn't have hidden cameras in the shower in which case a brief makeout session with Shego might be all right or they had and they already had seen her in all her naked glory.

Shego enjoyed the flush and expression on Kim's face but then decided to take pity on the younger woman's sense of propriety. "Kim, not even G.J. would risk the unbelievable lawsuit they would get if they were ever caught spying on their own people in the locker rooms or shower areas."

Kim was about to answer her when they both heard a long chime from the intercom system announcing a message about to be delivered. Both women couldn't resist smiling when they heard Ron's voice announcing the lunch menu.

"That decides it." Shego stated. "We take a really quick shower and go get something to eat."

Kim frowned. "It's not like you to suddenly back out of a seduction attempt."

Shego shrugged. "I'm not 'backing' out as you say. I'm just putting if off for a short time. We both know that if we play first and then go to eat there won't be anything left. These G.J. people are like vultures and strip the cafeteria to the bone when Ron cooks." Shego replied as she picked up a towel lying on the floor and briefly scrubbed her face with it to remove the sweat. "Besides…" She said as she lowered the towel to send a smoldering glance at Kim. "It is always more fun if our Ronnie is in the middle of our fun. We'll go eat a bite, collect our man, find some place nice quiet and secluded and more importantly has a lock on the door and nibble on the chef of our lunch."

Kim with a smile nodded her head as she started inching towards the doorway to the room. "Oh just one thing Shego?"

"Yeah?"

"Race you to the showers!" Kim stated and turning ran out the door to the sparring room into the short hallway that leads to the female locker rooms and showers."

"And she says I don't play fair?" Shego asked the now empty room as she tossed the towel to the side and went off in chase of her, being careful of course to not actually win. The view from behind was too good to pass.

Gloria Passion sighed as she stood in place in the line waiting to get into the cafeteria. She had raced as fast as she could after being delayed by Du and there was still this enormous line when she got here.

"Darn these people lucky enough to have offices on the same floor as the cafeteria." She groused to herself. She could have used the excuse that she was there to get Dr. Director and Williams' food to push to the head of the line but that was too much like cheating and it would take someone slimier than her to even consider doing that.

Gloria blinked in outrage as she noticed Will Du walking past her and the others in line to push into the lead. Silently she fumed to herself as she waited her turn and finally reached the serving line. "In addition to a plate for myself I need to get two carry out boxes for Dr. Director and Williams." She told the sour faced serving woman behind the counter.

The woman scowled at her. "We don't have enough food for you to try and trick your way into seconds and thirds before all the others have had a try at just getting 'firsts'."

"What?" Gloria asked genuinely confused. "I'm not trying to get seconds or thirds before everyone else I really am supposed to pick up some food for Dr. Director and Williams!"

"Yeah right. Agent Du was here earlier and already got food for the Director."

Gloria just turned red in anger and embarrassment. The ones in line behind her were getting impatient and some were sending her looks of condemnation for supposedly trying to get more food than she was supposed to at one time.

"But…" She started to say.

"Hey how's one of my favorite agents?" Ron's voice distracted her as he walked up behind the sour face serving woman and addressed Gloria, The serving woman whom a moment ago looked like she had bitten into the sourest lemon in existence instantly broke into a smiling face as Ron reached her side. Gloria blinked. She wasn't even aware that the sour faced woman knew how to smile and chalked her smile up to just another example how Ron seemed to bring a little Ronshine with him wherever he went.

"Not so good Ronnie." Gloria stated fluttering her eyelashes at him but resisting the urge to lower the zipper on her jumpsuit a few inches. "I was sent down this morning to make sure Dr. Director and Ash got their food but when I finally get through the waiting line, I'm told that Agent Du has said the same thing and already gotten three servings of food."

"Oh really?" Ron asked as he reached into his pocket and pulled out one of global Justice's communicators and pressed a button on it. Gloria couldn't see the view screen on the small device in Ron's large hands but saw him smile at the screen as someone obviously answered.

"Yes Stoppable?" Dr. Director's voice came from the device.

"I was just calling to see if you sent Du or Gloria down here to get your food for you this morning?"

Everyone in line could hear as Ash's voice answered instead of Dr. Director's. "We sent Gloria. I would never send Du to get me anything. Last time he went to get our food I didn't get my double nachos!"

Ron gave a brief chuckle. "I suspected as much. Don't worry I'll have Gloria's order filled in a few seconds and she'll be up with the food."

"There is no hurry. Let Gloria enjoy her lunch first and she can bring our food up when she is done. Oh and Ron?" Dr. Director in a sharp voice called out from the device. "Is there something I should know about Agent Du?"

Ron pulled the device away from himself slightly and addressed the serving woman next to him. "Ethel, exactly what did Du order and take away?"

The serving woman thought for a moment. "He got three orders consisting of two slices of pizza each, so six slices of pizza, three orders of lasagna and two large orders of the spaghetti."

Ron returned the communication device up where he could see it again. "Nope Dr. Director not that I know of… But I do have a slight suggestion."

"Yes?"

"When Du shows up after lunch maybe you should have him run… Oh I don't know maybe three or four times around the entire G.J. complex? He might need a bit of help with some extra calories."

Dr. Director's voice was quiet a moment before she replied. "I see. I think I shall take your suggestion Ron but I might double it."

"Double it hell." Ash's voice could again be heard over the device. "If that little twerp has been using our names again to snitch food I say we make him 'Greenie's' sparring partner for a week!"

Ron frowned and holding the communicator a little closer to his face he said in a slightly raised voice. "Ash if you don't stop calling Shego names I'm going to stop volunteering in the cafeteria between my assignments."

There was a moment of silence and then Ash's voice came out of the communicator again. "Now there is no need to be drastic Ron. You stop cooking in the kitchen because of me and these people will lynch me! I just use nicknames for good old Shego because we are such good friends. She knows I mean it in an enduring fashion."

Ron grinned. "Shall we have you and good 'OLD' Shego go into the sparring room and have her 'discuss' with you how enduring she thinks your nicknames are?"

"Nope!" Ash's voice answered instantly.

Ron laughed and started to say goodbye when Dr. Director's voice came once again. "Ron I would like for you, Shego, Kim to hang around Global Justice for a while, I want to have a word with all of you and Gloria later. I will give you a call when I'm ready for the meeting. Oh, and tell Du that I want to see him as soon as he finishes his lunch and he'll be present at the meeting later as well."

Ron looked over to an equally puzzled Gloria but shrugged. "Sure thing Dr. Director. I expect to see Kim and Shego for lunch sometime and I'll tell them and Gloria is standing right here and heard you. I'll seek out Du and relay the message."

"Please and thank you." Dr. Director said and the communicator went dark.

Ron turned his attention back to the serving woman next to him. "See that Agent Passion gets whatever she orders and I'm going into the dining room and see if I can spot Agent Du and talk to him."

The serving woman nodded her head as Ron started to leave but suddenly stopped and looked across the serving line at Gloria. "Oh and Gloria? You should try the gelato, I've made chocolate and strawberry and both are extra creamy."

Gloria reached up and casually unzipped her top a few inches and leaned towards Ron. "With extra whipped cream on top too? Whipped cream makes everything…" She took a deep breath. "More fun."

Ron looked at her for a moment before chuckling and shaking his head at her. "Yeah with extra whipped cream if you want it."

The Global Justice cafeteria was a large room, which was not very surprising considering how many agents were employed either constantly or on an ad hoc basis like Kim and him had been when they were in high school. The cafeteria's layout was fairly open and straight forward but there were a few out of the way nooks and crannies. Places hidden from the main floor of the cafeteria where a single person or a small group could eat hidden from the view of the others. Ron made for those first, suspecting that Will Du would seek those out to eat his lunch. That and most of the other agents didn't want to sit with him anyway. Ron would have felt almost sorry for Du considering that he had experienced much the same when he was in high school but in Ron's case it was the 'food chain' that isolated him while in Du's case it was just cause he was an asshole most of the time.

Sure enough, going around some large potted plants near the back of the cafeteria Ron came across Du sitting at a small table by himself eating. The man had a tray with a plate on it and was eating from that but as Ron watched the man reached into a carry out carton pulled out a slice of pizza and bit into it.

"Most people wait till after they have eaten the meal before asking for a doggie bag." Ron noted as he came up behind Du.

Du stiffened in his chair before practically growling at Ron. "Don't you have somewhere to be Stoppable?"

"Actually? No. I finished the mission Kim, Shego and I was on early this morning and am officially off the clock now. I just helped out with the kitchen staff because it is gratifying that so many people like my cooking." Ron leaned over toward Du and lowered his voice as if confided a secret. "So much so that some of them even lie trying to get extra portions by saying they are picking up food for others that for some reason can't or won't come to the cafeteria themselves. I mean can you believe someone would stoop so low?"

Du turned in his chair to stare up at the standing Ron. "You may think you have caught me in something Agent Stoppable but I assure you I have an excellent reason for my actions."

"Good enough reasons that your actions made Gloria look like a lowlife trying to get more than her fair share when she tried to get the food she was asked to get for Dr. Director?" Ron asked not even trying to hide his dislike for Du.

Du rolled his eyes. "Oh please. A quick lowering of her zipper and I'm sure they forgave her instantly."

Ron sighed as he tried to resist the very pleasing mental image of bouncing Du around the room came to mind. "Shego is rubbing off on me." Ron thought with a slight grin. Feeling movement in his pocket Ron glanced down, while Du looked over to see Rufus stick his head out of the pocket to glare at DU and say something rapidly before blowing a raspberry at him.

"What did he say?" Du asked in annoyance. "Oh and we have regulations against animals being present in the cafeteria!"

Rufus looked up at Ron with a guilty look as he saw his owner frowning at him. "You have to stop picking up phrases from Shego Rufus." To Du Ron replied. "A special exception has been made by Dr. Director for Rufus as he is not just another animal but an agent as well. You don't like it; take it up with her when you talk to her later. That is why I came to find you, was to tell you that Dr. Director wishes to have a word with you after lunch and later Kim, Shego, Gloria and I are to join you in a meeting with her as well."

Du took a nervous swallow as he could just imagine that Passion must have whined to the Director and she wouldn't be pleased but he refused to show weakness or nervousness in front of the amateur Stoppable. "As soon as I have finished my lunch I will report in to the Director."

Ron nodded his head and turned to walk away but said loud enough that Du could hear him. "Don't you mean when you finish yours and Dr. Director's and Ash's lunch?"

Agent Du glared at Ron's back but refrained from saying anything. Technically he was Ron's superior but everyone in Global Justice knew that Dr. Director favored Stoppable, Possible and Shego. Du rolled his eyes, hell she probably favored the pink mole rat thing over him as well.

Making his way back through the densely packed cafeteria Ron paused and frowned when he noticed Gloria was sitting alone at a table made for at least six people to sit. Gloria was always popular and it was unusual to not see a cloud of men and a few women admirers hanging around her but now that Ron thought about it, he realized he hadn't seen her flock of admirers around her for about a month. Right about when she transferred from a desk job to field work.

Detouring his course Ron stopped at the table. "Mind if I sit down?" He asked her.

Gloria who had been picking at her lunch brightened as if someone had flipped a switch. "Sure Ronnie. I would love the company!"

"Speaking of company, isn't it unusual that you don't have a large following? Why are you sitting alone especially when the cafeteria is packed today?" Ron asked as he sat down across the table from Gloria and looked around the cafeteria.

Women agents at nearby tables quickly looked away from their glaring at Gloria when Ron's eyes swept across them and Ron noticed that more than a few of the guys at the other tables were whispering and smirking at Gloria's back when they thought no one was looking at them.

"Okay, what's going on?" He asked looking back at Gloria in time to see her looking miserable before putting a strained smile on her face.

"It's nothing Ronnie. It's just…" Gloria let the sentence trail off.

"Just what?" Ron asked genuinely confused.

"You know I recently transferred from Strategic Planning to doing intelligence gathering in the field, right?"

Ron nodded.

"Well in gathering intelligence it is not unusual for a man or a woman to go into bars to obtain the information. You know, catch the target off guard, make them think you are harmless, a buddy and they'll reveal more than they should?"

A loud snicker at a nearby table caused Ron to look over in that direction. He caught the faint words, "I bet that isn't all she reveals."

"Yeah?" Ron asked turning his attention back to Gloria.

"Well… There have been rumors circulating about that I obtain the information I gather by doing more than just having a few drinks with my target and flirting." Gloria said with a sad sigh.

"Like what?" Ron replied without hesitation. He, along with Shego and Kim had gotten to know Gloria during their training and time at Global Justice. Sure she was a knockout with a killer smile and it was also true she flirted a lot, both with men and women but Ron knew for a fact that Gloria wasn't seeing anyone and actually was very picky about whom she dated. Yes, she hugged the dickens out of anybody she was friends with and she wasn't beyond unzipping her jumpsuit a bit to tease someone but Gloria was far from having loose morals.

Gloria looked up at Ron in gratitude. "You truly don't know what they think it is I do?" When Ron seemed even more confused, Gloria smiled in relief at him. "Thank you for believing in me Ronnie.

"Wait you mean everyone thinks…?" Ron said finally putting two and two together.

Gloria let her head droop before nodding. "They think I'm whoring myself out for Global Justice to gather information."

"Who is whoring themselves for Global Justice, Agent Du nothing?" Shego asked as she sat down on one side of Gloria while Kim sat down on the other side. Shego pushed a tray of food towards Ron. "Ethel says she knows you would want to eat with us and made a tray up for you and Rufus." Rufus leapt from Ron's pocket and with a brief nod at Shego and Kim, ran over to the covered plate and flipped the lid off and started to dive into the food.

Gloria smiled at them but Kim noticed sadness in her eyes that didn't belong on the blond.

Shego turning to look at the busty blond allowed her expression to turn sour. "Let me guess. You recently got the promotion to working in the field and now everyone is either saying you slept your way into the opening or they are saying you are spreading your legs to gather information and finish your missions?"

Gloria gave a sad smile. "Well since the promotion came directly from Dr. Director so I don't think anyone is saying I slept my way into the promotion but…" She sighed. "Yes to the second part."

"Who is saying that?" Kim asked, her voice rising in anger as she stood up to scan the crowd in the cafeteria. The women and even the men at the other tables quickly dropped their heads to stare at their meals rather than to meet her gaze and risk facing her wrath.

Shego quickly rose to her feet and stepping over behind Gloria she placed her hands on Kim's shoulders and made her sit down again. "Easy Princess easy, people spread rumors. That is what they do. You obviously never heard the rumors that went around but you, me and Ron when we first became a team here. People talk, that's their nature."

"But they don't know what the hell it is they are talking about!" Kim growled but remained seated.

"That just makes them talk louder and more often." Shego observed. To Gloria, Shego added as she sat back down beside her. "You just have to ignore them."

"I try to but you have Ron and Kim with you. You don't how hard it is to be alone and to have people stare at you and whisper all the time."

Shego met Gloria's eyes and raised an eyebrow. "I don't?"

Gloria was the first to look away. "Okay, maybe you do know how I'm feeling."

"That bad?" Ron asked.

Gloria bit her lip. "I've been thinking about quitting Global Justice." She said softly.

Shego with fire and steel in your gaze growled at the woman. "Don't…You…Dare. You quit because some idiot is flapping his lips and you let them win. What matters is, are you enjoying your missions?"

Gloria gave a half shrug. "It's not so much that I'm enjoying the missions as the feeling I get that I am making a difference and doing some good. You know that raid you went on this morning to stop Dementor? I was the one that retrieved the information on what he was planning by letting one of his henchmen buy me a few drinks in a bar a few days ago."

"You were the one that found out Dementor was planning another one of his hair brained mind control plans?" Kim asked in surprise.

Gloria nodded her head and picked at the food on her plate. "The henchman was so thrilled that a woman would talk to him at the bar that he practically dragged the blueprints for the device out of his pants and insisted he show me everything."

There was a snickering at the table nearest to them and without even looking up, Shego lifted a hand and pointed it casually over her shoulder behind her and fired off a mini fireball. There was a scramble as male agents who had been sitting at the table decided that they had enough of their lunch and it was time to leave.

"Shego." Ron said mildly in way of a warning.

Shego looked over at Ron and once again raised an eyebrow. "Yes?"

"You missed the agent that was making the jokes and melted the tray of the one sitting next to him." Ron replied once again in a mild tone of voice.

Shego shrugged. "The other guy was the one who was laughing." She pointed out.

Ron gave a tilt of his head as if to say, point made and then with a quick stab of his fork he speared a piece of lasagna that Rufus was going for on his plate and placed it in his mouth. Chewing for a moment he sent a reproving look at Rufus. "Darn it Rufus stop trying to eat all the food. You gotta leave me something to eat too."

Rufus smirked at Ron and started shifting around the plate to get at the last piece of pizza.

"You want people to start calling you Du?" Ron asked.

Rufus froze and looking horrified he shook his head from side to side and made a 'after you' gesture at the pizza on the plate. Ron grinning picked up the pizza took a small bite and handed the rest to Rufus.

"I wish I had friends like you four are." Gloria replied wistfully.

Kim looked at her in shock. "We are your friends." She pointed out.

"Yeah I know, but I mean close intimate friends. You four share everything! You are always together and are so close. I miss that."

Shego could feel the longing radiating off the woman next to her but what could she say? She liked Gloria, she really did but she wasn't ready to share her Ronnie and Kimmie with anyone. Not the way she knew Gloria wanted. "You need to get some friends outside of Global Justice. With a few noteworthy exceptions most of the people here are sticks in the mud." Shego settled for saying.

Gloria gave a sigh. "I know."

An uncomfortable silence fell around the table as everyone finished their meals.

Shego looked over at Kim. "And now that we have had our meal I have a suggestion on what we can do next."

Kim expecting that she was going to suggest that they go off somewhere to makeout started to smile.

"I think it is time we go house shopping." Shego finished looking over at Ron.

Kim immediately became nervous. "We've talked about this Shego. I need to stay at home so I can help mother with the Dweebs." She began.

"Oh not with this again?" Shego groaned.

Gloria looked at the two in question. "I thought you; Ronnie and Shego were already living somewhere together?"

"I want to but Kim has this hang up about it." Shego shot a frown in Kim's direction. "You are a grown woman now Kim. You and Ron have graduated from high school and if we hadn't joined Global Justice both you and Ron would probably have moved away to college."

"It's not a hang up!" Kim replied defensively. "I just think I should hang around my house for another year or so to make sure the Dweebs don't burn it to the ground or something."

Shego frowned and folded her arms. Anyone else and they would have been accused of pouting but no one would dare say that to Shego and risk her quick temper. "Right. And how many years did your mother run herd on those hellions in human form when you and Ron were out saving the world?"

"It's not just me you know." Kim replied folding her arms as well. "I mean Ron can't just up and abandon his parents and move out. Can you Ron?"

Ron opened his mouth to answer but was beat to it by Shego. "Yeah Ronnie, when was the last time you saw those parents or that adopted sister of yours?"

Ron with a sad and wistful look on his face replied. "Three months ago. They came home for about two days so I could celebrate Hanna's birthday with her and then one morning I got up to find the usual note on the table saying they were off on another business trip and of course took Hanna with them."

Shego shot an annoyed look at Kim. "Yeah can't have Ronnie abandoning an empty house now can we? Hell he could move today and his parents wouldn't even notice he was gone for months. And that would be months after they come home before they would notice he wasn't there."

Kim started to say something but was overridden by Shego. "Face it Kim you are just ashamed to be in a relationship with me and are terrified of what your dad will think when he finally figures it out!"

"Shhhh. Lower your voice Shego." Kim in worry said. "We don't need a batch of rumors to get out and make it to my…" Kim immediately stopped and resisted the urge to slap her hands over her mouth.

"Get back to your father. That was what you were going to say, wasn't it?" Shego said slumping in her chair.

"It is not just you Shego." Ron said softly. "She still won't let me hug or snuggle with her or you where there is any chance her dad can see us."

"Doesn't that bother you Ronnie?" Shego asked. "I would be willing to proclaim our love from the rooftops to anyone who will listen and Kim wants to act like we mean nothing to her because she doesn't want her father to realize she is a grown woman and can do what she wants to."

Gloria tried to act like she wasn't there and listening in. She had been idolizing the relationship Ron, Kim and Shego had and now she is finding out that everything isn't perfect in their paradise either. She supposed the proper thing to do would be to get up quietly and leave the three to talk but she felt so awkward sitting between Kim and Shego she couldn't make herself get up and leave and draw even more attention to herself.

"Look Shego, I promise I will talk to my dad soon and explain everything and we will have that place together someday but just not…" Kim tried to say.

Shego took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I'm tired Kim." She stated. "I'm tired of maintaining this masquerade where I sleep in your room but that we are not intimate. I'm tired of trying to find some dingy corner of a madman's lab after a mission so we can get in a quick cuddle before G.J. picks us up and brings us home. I'm tired of trying to seduce you in a gym or a locker room and I'm tired of you telling me I can't put my arm around Ron when we are out in public!" Shego kept her voice low so only Kim, Ron, Rufus and Gloria could hear her but that only made her words that much more chilling to Kim. Was Shego about to say she was going to leave her and Ron?

With a final deep sigh, Shego continued. "But the thought of leaving and trying to live without you and Ron nearly kills me so I guess I'll just have to suck it up for a while longer." Shego finished.

Kim, fear nearly sealing her throat closed finally managed to say. "I promise you Shego. I will talk to my dad soon and then we'll let everyone know about our relationship. Not just mine and yours but Ron's too. After I tell my dad, everyone will know and to hell with what they think about it!"

"It can't be today anyway." Ron said. "Dr. Director wants us to hang around Global Justice for a meeting later."

Shego still looking unhappy nodded her head. "If we're lucky it'll be another mission. Maybe this madman will have a nice cozy broom closet."

"Um doubtful." Gloria said quietly reminding them all she was still there. "I'm supposed to be at the meeting along with Will Du as well. Surely she wouldn't be sending us all on the same mission? And I'm not a field agent anyway. I'm an intelligence gatherer."

"Would rather have you at my back than Du Little." Shego grumbled. "I wouldn't put it past the twerp to 'accidentally' shoot me in the back during a mission with that toy taser of his."

Agent Du just happened to pick that moment to leave his secluded hiding spot behind the plants. Ron noted with annoyance that the man wasn't carrying his dining tray with him to a retrieval point and guessed correctly that the man had left it at his table for the overworked dining room staff to clear up after him. Ron prayed that the man hadn't heard Shego in the hopes to avoid yet another hostile encounter between him and Shego, hopes that were dashed when Agent Du made straight for their table.

"You can rest assured Agent Shego that if I were to fire my taser at you it wouldn't be an accident." Du told the woman coldly.

"Oh good." Shego replied with a mocking sneer. "Having you deliberately taking aim and firing at my back would be one way I could be sure you would miss."

Agent Du's face turned red in anger. "I will have you know that I score as the top marksmen in all of Global Justice!"

"Third top." Gloria replied almost automatically and then wished she had kept her mouth shut as du turned his gaze towards her.

"What was that?" He asked.

"Um, I recently saw performance reviews of ours on Dr. Director's desk and happened to notice the stats." Gloria reluctantly admitted. "You are ranked third highest marksmen. The first being Dr. Director herself, who even though she has mostly a desk job still does the evaluations like the rest of us."

"And who is the second?" Du asked as he leaned over the end of the table in her direction. This brought him dangerously close to Shego who was sitting near that end and Ron shook his head at her as she noticed her hands on the table top twitching and starting to flare slightly with her powers.

"You I suppose?" Du added with a sneer.

Gloria looked up at him and frowned but replied. "No. I ranked just below Ron. Kim here was the second highest ranking marksman, er marksperson."

Du turned his surprised gaze to Kim. "But you don't even use weapons."

Kim gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes. "Doesn't mean I don't know how to use them or that I don't have to qualify on them."

Du not having a response to that merely snorted and took off.

"Why doesn't Global issue him a personality?" Shego asked in annoyance.

Gloria couldn't help a giggle. "They probably did."

"Well then they need to issue him a better one." Shego grumbled.

Gloria breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks guys. I really need this."

Ron looked confused. "Needed what? We didn't do anything."

"Just being able to call you my friends is enough." Gloria said with one of her dazzling smiles. "See you all later at the meeting with Dr. Director."

Ron, Shego and Kim entered Dr. Director's office two hours later to find a sweaty looking Du standing almost at attention by her desk while Ash Williams lounged in a chair nearby. Dr. Director was looking over some paperwork and didn't look up as they came in but motioned for them to take some seats. "We are just waiting for Agent Passion and Agent Rens to show up she stated."

"No doubt Agent Passion is late because of she is wasting time hugging people again." Du grumbled.

"How did your run go?" Ron asked.

Du sneered at him but didn't respond.

"Gloria isn't late cause she is glomping people again." Ash told Du. "Well at least I don't think that is the reason anyway. We sent her out to find and escort Agent Rens here. You know how these hallways all look the same and Rens is new here."

"We sent?" Du asked now sneering at Ash. "Last time I checked you are not an official Global Justice agent but merely a consultant on certain supernatural creatures. And I don't believe we have had any reports on Deadites in quite a while."

"Yeah not since that last time some moron read from a cursed book." Shego said. "Who was that brain dead idiot that did that again? Oh, right. It was you."

Silently Ron and Kim placed themselves between Shego and Du. Shego still hadn't forgotten and no where near forgiven Du for almost making her losing her soul to a Deadite and getting them all killed.

Du looked bitter but didn't reply. What could he say? He had read out loud from the Necronomicon and the resulting chaos had nearly gotten out of hand. He could try to proclaim once again that it was just a mistake and he had paid for it but before he could open his mouth Gloria Passion opened the door and ushered someone in.

Ron had for some reason expected a man with the last name Rens but a slim, short attractive woman came in. She was dressed in the typical Global Justice jumpsuit and had long brunette hair braided in a single ponytail. Figure wise she was about Kim's height and her bust was about the same. It was just standing next to the statuesque Scandinavian bombshell Gloria Passion that made her look almost doll like.

"Everyone. I would like you all to meet Agent Patricia Rens. Recently graduated from our Global Justice training facility. She has just finished her training and she along with you are to be assigned a special mission." Dr. Director stated.

Du frowned. "A special mission? Agent Passion is intelligence gathering, not a field operative." He said dismissively. "What mission could we have that she would be coming with us? Its bad enough I have to deal with..."

Shego's hands ignited with green flame and she shot him a glare just daring him to finish with the term amateurs.

"Its not a mission per sey." Ash broke in. "More like extra special training. Wouldn't you say Betty?"

"Dr. Director!" Du snapped at the man. "Who gave you permission to call her by her first name?"

"I did actually." Dr. Director replied. "Now before I was interrupted..." She said glaring at Du and then looking at Shego, who promptly turned off her plasma glow. "I was going to explain this mission to you. It has been decided that Global Justice is getting too noticeable lately. For this reason certain changes are being made. Most obvious one being that the Global Justice jumpsuit is not to be worn during field operations any more. Civilian clothing is be worn..."

"I don't even own any civilian clothing." Du complained.

"Now why doesn't that surprise me?" Ash said rhetorically. "I bet you even sleep in those jumpsuits, don't you?"

"The standard issue jumpsuit is very comfortable and durable." Du replied.

Ron wondered if the man had just admitted that he did sleep in his jumpsuit or not.

Dr. Director sighed.

"Sorry Betty. Please go on." Ash said.

"Not only are our clothing in the field identifying us but also the fact that some of our agents have too military a bearing. We don't blend in with the general public and it is starting to get notice. Which is where this special mission comes in. For two weeks two teams of agents will be taken to a tropical island and during that time they are to act like normal people on vacation."

Du standing at attention looked at Dr. Director in shock. "You want us to waste time on a island pretending to be on vacation?"

"Its not a waste of time." Ash answered once again for Dr. Director. "You all are so stiff and unbending it is pathetic. Any normal person on the street can point you out as being a cop or military. Well maybe not Gloria or Ron but you or Rens here stand out like sore thumbs."

"What about her?" Du said pointing at Shego.

"Well Shego stands out in a crowd no matter what." Ash said. "Not in a bad way! But you must admit your looks do make you stand out." He said to Shego.

"I'll assume you mean my stunning good looks." Shego said giving him a warning look.

Ron chuckled and when everyone looked to him he said. "Well in that case all the women in this room stand out in a crowd. Me, Du and Ash are the only ones that don't look like supermodels."

"I'll have you know when I was younger I did some modeling." Ash bragged.

"What as? A walking chin?" Shego asked.

Ash rolled his eyes. "Definitely had a better personality as a Deadite." He muttered.

Ron and Kim in unison maneuvered between him and Shego.

"Ahem." Dr. Director cleared her throat. "In any case, we are all going to a tropical island to stay for two weeks. The teams will be Ron, Kim and Shego in group A and group B will be..."

Gloria her eyes widen in horror. She didn't need to be told that if Ron, Kim and Shego were in one group that only left her, Rens and...Du in the last group. "No. Please not that." She begged Dr. Director. "He'll have us up at 3 a.m. Doing calisthenics! It'll be sheer Hell!"

"So what is wrong with that?" Du asked. "Exercise is important. I do them on my vacations."

"You take vacations?" Shego asked in surprise.

"Of course not. But if I did I would still exercise."

"No exercise!" Dr. Director stated emphatically. "That is the whole point. You are to act like NORMAL people. Fish, take walks on the beach but nothing that would point out to anyone observing that you are paramilitary police force!"

Gloria still looked miserable. "Maybe me and Patricia could join Ron's team? I'm sure Agent Du would be happier on his own."

Dr. Director slowly shook her head. "No Agent Passion. I want you and Rens on Du's team. I am depending on you to teach him to act a little more..."

"Human?" Shego suggested.

"Casual was the word I was going for."

"Um, Maam?" Pat Rens spoke up for the first time. "I don't own any civilian clothing either. Not even a bathing suit."

Gloria suddenly hugged the smaller woman. "No problem! I will take you shopping. We'll find you the perfect clothing for holiday!"

Patricia Rens found her face nestled between the taller woman's jumpsuit covered breasts and could only mumble.

"Gloria." Ron called out. "It would be a bad start if you were to smother the poor thing before we even get to the island."

"Huh? Oops! Sorry." Gloria said as she released the young dazed woman. "I come from a very large family and we are very friendly. I sometimes forget and hug people."

A very red faced Pat swallowed a few times before attempting to speak. "No problem. A little warning next time so I can enjoy...ER I mean prepare myself would be nice though." To cover up her faux pas she hastily asked. "How large a family?"

"I have six brothers and six sisters." Gloria replied. "I'm the youngest."

Ron, Shego, Kim and Ash blinked. They had heard Gloria mention having a large family before but they had no idea it was that huge.

"She is the thirteenth child. Explains a lot." Du muttered to himself.

The glare Gloria sent him let him know that he had been heard however. "What about food Dr. Director?"

"Survival rations of course." Du said.

"NO." Dr. Director answered. "I said act like normal people. You will bring your own food and prepare it yourself."

Gloria shot a worried look at Pat. "Can you cook?"

Pat shook her head. "I'm a terrible cook. You?"

"I eat out most meals." Gloria admitted.

"Um, Betty?" Ash asked. "That is actually a good point. I'm not good at cooking either. Are you?"

"You are going with us?" Ron and Du asked at nearly the same time.

"Of course. You are all young people and the island is remote. We wouldn't just dump you there without someone of authority being there as well."

"Which team will you be staying with?" Du asked.

"Neither. We will drop Team A off on the southern shore of the island. Team B will be taken around the island to the northern shore and dropped off. Ash and myself will then be dropped off on the western shore. For nine days both teams will be by themselves and on the tenth day both teams will head inland and meet up and then journey together to the western shore where you will meet up with Ash and myself and we will be all picked up there and taken home."

"Take five days to go inland, group together and journey to the western shore?" Shego asked. "Just how big is this island?"

"Big enough that no matter how loud you yell, you won't be heard by the other team and it should take you the full five day trek to reach us." Ash told her.

A slow smile started to creep across Shego's face. "So just so I get this completely straight. Ron, Kim and myself are going to be completely isolated on shore of an island for nine days?"

Kim swallowed nervously at the almost predatory look on Shego's face. She looked to see Ron looking almost as nervous. It was no secret that Shego's libido was a healthy one and she had been denied intimacy between Ron, Kim and her for a while. What Dr. Director was basically doing was serving Ron and Kim up to her on a silver platter.

Meanwhile, Gloria couldn't look more miserable. Nine days trapped with Du with no other companion to talk to except Agent Rens? Sure the shorter woman seemed nice enough but was she nice enough to make up being stuck with the egoistical and downright surly Du?

Once again she tried to talk her way out of it. "What about food? If none of us on Team B can cook we'll starve in nine days!"

"You exaggerate." Du snorted. "A person can survive for up to a month with no food as long as they have clean water to drink."

Gloria looked like she was about to cry.

"I'll cook something up for all of us that can just be reheated." Ron offered. "That way you can at least enjoy a good meal."

"Excellent idea!" Ash enthusiastically said.

"He didn't say he was going to cook for you." Shego replied.

"Of course I will." Ron said with a smile.

"I still think this is just a cheap method to get a free vacation at tax payers expense." Du stated. "But if I have to go, I'll need to get some clothing."

Dr. Director nodded her head. "Good point. I think we are all done here. All of you go out and buy some clothing for the trip and in Ron's case food for us all." She pushed across the desk some plastic credit cards. "Global Justice will pick up the tab for anything you need but remember spend within reason and make sure you return the cards to me tomorrow."

Du grabbed up his card and left.

"Is this just a cheap method to give us that vacation I asked you about a while back?" Shego asked after the door shut.

"Better believe it." Ash said with a grin.

Dr. Director frowned at him. "Not completely. Du does need to relax and be a little more..."

"Human?" Shego asked once again with a smirk.

Dr. Director sighed but then shrugged. "Yes." She finally agreed. "Dr. Racle suggested this course of action. He feels Du's mishandling of things during the Necronomicon incident was indicative of deeper social problems he is starting to develop. I was being honest earlier Gloria, I want you to help Du to become more..."She shot Shego a glare as the green skinned woman started to open her mouth. "Casual and relaxed."

"But he hates my guts!" Gloria nearly wailed.

"It can't be that bad." Pat stated.

Everyone looked at her. "You don't know Du." Ash told her.

Pat frowned. "Wait. Why am I going on this trip then?"

Dr. Director frowned and pulled over a paper on her desk and studied it for a moment. "Psychological tests you have done indicate that during training while you were exemplary but you tended to be alone and not socialize with others."

"Well, yes I tended to take training very seriously and maybe I didn't party like the others but... You are not saying that you think I'm like Agent Du are you? I have friends... Well, maybe not but I'm not anti-social! I don't need to be trained in how to be... Human like agent Shego said."

"Of course not." Ash said soothingly. "Just look at this as a reward for all your hard training before the even harder missions start. A nice relaxing vacation on a sandy beach."

"So what is the name of this island anyway and just how remote is it?" Shego asked.

"The island's name is Isla de la Murte and it will take us four days cruise in a boat to get there." Ash told her.

Shego blinked at him. "You do know that translates to Island of Death, right?"

Dr. Director raised a hand in a halt motion. "Yes, that is what the island's name means but there is nothing dangerous or supernatural about it. The island is a private island that was purchased by a rich family. At the time of purchase it was not named as it hadn't been charted up to that point. The owner used it as a summer retreat and when he died, of natural causes and not on the island by the way, it went to his son. The son didn't like the island and when they asked him for the name of it so it could be registered and put on maps he called it Isla de la Muerte because he was preparing his father's funeral at the time. Trust me, I researched the Island extensively when Ash brought it to my attention. There are no recorded instances of anyone actually dying on the island and when the son didn't want to use the place himself he leased it to corporations and government agencies for retreats. That is how Global Justice managed to get it for the time we will be there."

Shego still looked suspicious. "Ash is the one to find it?" She asked.

Ash frowned and folded his arms in annoyance. "One lousy cabin in the woods and they think you are cursed from now on."

"One cabin in the woods and that one near the sea you took Dr. Director to." Ron helpfully reminded him.

"It was a sea monster! It could have attacked anywhere along the coast!"

Shego could have pointed out that an island has a lot of costal area for sea monsters as well but the thought of having Ron and Kim at her mercy for nine days was too good to pass up so she shrugged.

Club Banana: Later than evening.

Ron stared in horror and mortification at the image before him. While Rufus and him were the best of buddies, Ron was glad his little buddy wasn't there to see this sight. It could have scarred the poor naked mole rat for the rest of his life. Ron wasn't sure if he wasn't going to be scarred for life as it was.

"Are you coming out of there Stoppable?" Ron heard from outside the small torture chamber he found himself in.

"Never!" Ron called back.

"Oh for Pete's sake!" Shego's exasperated voice called back. "It's just a bathing suit!"

"Bathing suit?" Ron sputtering stared at himself in the mirrors of the dressing room. The bathing suit was basically a small patch of brightly colored blue that just barely covered his crotch only to reduce down to a thin wedge of material that ran up between the crack of his butt to connect to a 'belt' of material circling his waist that was not much larger than a piece of yarn. "When I was a kid I had a slingshot that covered more than this thing does!"

"Yeah? Well when you were a kid the stick and stones you had were probably smaller." Shego replied, the smirk in her voice plainly heard. "Now get your butt out here so Kim and I can check out how the suit looks on you. I mean it's nothing we haven't already seen before."

"Shego!" Kim's voice could be heard. Ron could just imagine Kim's horrified look as she quickly scanned the dressing room to see if anyone had heard. "Not in public, Please!"

"Oh for crying out loud, we are in here alone! Even your Monique knows not to peek."

From a couple of dressing rooms down Ron heard a female voice say. "I'm not coming out and you can't make me!" Proving Shego was wrong. They were not alone in the dressing room area.

"Oh come on Pat! It's just a bathing suit. You said you didn't have one." Gloria Passion's voice answered the woman.

"Even wearing this one I still don't 'have' one. I have dental floss back in my apartment that is thicker and covers more than this!"

"You are exaggerating! I'm wearing the exact same suit but just in a different color." Gloria replied.

Shego and Kim in the dressing room anteroom shared a look. The dressing room area was slightly curved to offer some privacy between the men's side and the ladies side so they couldn't immediately see Gloria, which is why Shego thought they were alone. It was getting close to closing time for Club Banana so there was hardly anyone in the store at all. Shego raised an eyebrow at Kim and then said. "Oh I just have to see this for myself." She went around the curve to where Gloria's voice had come from. Kim frowned but then shrugged.

"I told you Ron that this store was the best place to find a nice bathing suit. Even Gloria and Patricia are here getting one."

"All the more reason I am not coming out!" Ron called back.

"Ronald Stoppable." Kim said in her no nonsense voice. "Shego and I picked out that suit and we are going to see you in it. Come out here now!"

"Aww man." Ron moaned. "Are you sure there is no one else out there that can see?"

"You know Shego. Do you think she would allow anyone else to see?"

Ron nodded at himself in the mirror of the dressing room. That was true. Shego was very possessive of him and Kim. She wouldn't just let anyone see him in something like this and really was the suit that bad? Kim and Shego had seen him naked a few times and this wasn't naked. It was pretty darn close to it, but not completely naked.

As Kim waited for Ron to unlock the dressing room and come out she spotted Shego walking back. The green skinned woman's eyes were large and slightly glazed. Kim frowned at her again and when Shego didn't respond she said. "Well?"

Shego blinked. "Well... Gloria does have a bathing suit on. Sort of. And Rens is not that far off either."

"Far off?" Kim asked.

"Dental floss might be a bit thicker than the strands of that suit."

Kim blinked. "Really?"

Shego nodded her head. "And let me tell you, that Global Justice jumpsuit we usually see Gloria in? It doesn't do justice to her."

Kim's frown threatened to turn stormy. "Oh really?" She said, her voice getting a bit frosty.

"Oh don't give me that attitude Kimmie. You know you and..."Shego nodded her head at Ron's dressing room door. "And he are the only two people I'm interested in. It's just..."

"What?!"

"Gloria is one damn impressive looking woman when she is nearly naked."

Kim folded her arms across her chest. "Oh really? Well this I will just have to see for myself." She stomped past Shego towards the hallway curve.

"Just remember Kim. Just like the sun. Don't stare directly at Gloria in that suit. It can burn out your retinas." Shego said with a smirk.

Kim disappeared around the curve and a few seconds later Gloria's voice called out. "Kim! You shop here as well?!"

A sort of cross between a muffled squeak and whimper was heard and Shego looked at Rufus who was standing on a chair in the dressing room waiting area. Rufus gave a tiny shrug showing he didn't know what the noise was either.

Kim came wandering back around the curve in a daze and actually bumped into the wall a few times. Now it was Shego's turn to get a bit tweaked. "Oh come on. I mean yeah I know I said it was an impressive sight but this?"

"She hugged me." Kim muttered careful to keep her voice low so Gloria couldn't hear them, as she sat down in a chair next to the one Rufus was standing on.

"In that suit? With..." Shego said equally softly and held her two hands in front of her at chest level about two feet away from her body.

Kim nodded weakly. "It was like two giant warm snowballs rushing at me. I thought I was going to be buried alive." Kim's dazed look cleared to be replaced with one of annoyance. "And where does she get off having abs like that? I mean that is so totally unfair! She has a rack like a goddess and abs and legs to match too?"

Shego gave a half shrug. "Yeah, they do grow impressive people in Scandinavia or where ever Gloria is from. And you want another mind boggling thought? She said she has six sisters and six brothers. Imagine that. Somewhere out there, there are twelve other people who probably look just as impressive as Gloria does."

"Totally not fair." Kim repeated.

Shego who was no slouch when it came to exotic beauty had to nod her head. Gloria Passion was one impressive looking woman but right now the only impressive sight she wanted to see was one cowering behind a closed and locked dressing room door. "Come out of there Ron." She shouted.

"I'm not coming out! I changed my mind. I'm getting dressed and that is…" Ron yelled back as he reached for his clothing hanging on the dressing room door… Only to watch it disappear over the top of said door as a pale green hand reached over the edge of the door and snagged his clothing. "Shego! Give me back my clothing!"

"Come out here and get it." Shego yelled back with a smirk.

A feminine squeal of outrage was heard from down in the women's dressing area and a moment later Gloria's voice called out. "Kim? Shego? Will you please tell Pat that this bathing suit looks good on her? She won't believe me."

"Let me go Gloria! I don't want anyone to see me dressed like this! I'm practically naked!"

"Practically is not completely."

Ron who was about to open his own dressing room door to recover his clothing quickly changed his mind and leaned against the door instead. He understood Agent Rens reluctance completely.

"What in the Sam's Hill name is going on back here?" He heard Monique's voice added to the mix. "I'm glad you lot are the last of the customers tonight. What with all the fuss you are making back here."

A non-typical evil smirk came across Ron's face and he called out loudly. "Monique? Have you met Gloria Passion? Gloria? Meet Monique. She is Kim, Shego and my good friend."

"Any friend of Ron, Shego and Kim's is one of mine." Ron heard Gloria say, followed by a loud surprised Monique shaped squeak.

"That was truly evil Ron. I'm proud of you." Ron heard Shego's voice from the other side of the door.

"What happened?" Ron asked even though he already had a pretty good idea.

"Gloria glomped Monique, just like you knew she would. And Gloria is still wearing that bathing suit."

Ron could hear muffled sounds and what sounded suspiciously like Kim nearly cursing. "What is going on now?"

"Kim is trying to pull Monique out of the valley of Gloria's breasts… And I think Monique is resisting the rescue."

"Monique! What do you think you are doing?" Kim growled.

"Helping a customer with a fitting." A muffled voice was heard.

"You really should see this." Shego whispered through the door to Ron.

Ron started to unlock his door until he realized he was still wearing his own bathing suit nightmare. "Not happening Shego. Nice try though."

"I can burn through this door if I have to." Shego warned.

"Hey! No destroying Club Banana property. Not when I have the keys to the dressing rooms anyway." Monique called out.

"Don't help Monique." Ron yelled back.

"Oh but I have to properly thank you for introducing me to Gloria don't I?" Monique called back honey sweet.

As Ron heard the jingle of keys in the lock he braced himself against the door and held on tightly to the doorknob. There was no way he was going to suffer the humiliation of being displayed like this in front of strangers… Well if not strangers at least he wasn't going to be paraded around in front of Monique, Gloria and Agent Rens.

There was a tug on the door that Ron managed to resist easily. There was a sigh from the other side. "No good gals. He won't let us open the door." Ron heard Monique say. Relaxing just a bit, Ron was caught completely off guard as the door suddenly jerked wide open under the combine pull of Kim, Shego and Monique and Ron who had been still holding on to the doorknob found himself pulled out into the dressing room hallway blinking under the bright lights.

Ron barely had time to gather his bearings when Agent Patricia Rens darted past him into the now vacant dressing room. "Your turn to deal with these crazy people." She said to him in passing as she slammed the dressing room door behind her and locked it. Ron just had enough time to notice that Patricia Rens, while not as developed as Gloria and then again who was, or even as developed as Shego or Kim was still quite cute in that barely there bathing suit. The suit was bright neon pink. The top looked like two postage stamps being held over her breasts by silly string. The bottoms weren't much better with just a touch more material than could be found on an eye patch. As Agent Rens ran past him Ron noted that her suit also reduced down a barely there string between the cheeks of her butt. What was with these designers and their infatuation with exposed butt cheeks?

"What an ass." Monique breathed out.

Ron turned to her angrily. "Hey. Just cause she doesn't want to deal with this embarrassment?"

"I wasn't talking about her Ron." Monique said with a slow smile as Ron realized she was staring at his butt.

"Monique!" Ron shouted and turned to face her fully. Monique's eyes grew wide as she stared at Ron's barely covered crotch.

"That bathing suit is magnificent Ron." Gloria's voice called out from beyond Monique. "It really shows off your physique well." Ron glanced over in embarrassment at Gloria and his brain threatened to shut down as he saw the exact same bathing suit on Gloria that Rens was wearing but Gloria's was in an electric purple color. Fearing that he was either going to have a massive nose bleed or overstrain his bathing suit, Ron without a further word turned on one heel and reaching out and exerting just a touch of Mystical Monkey Power, picked the lock on the door of his dressing room and ducked back inside.

"Can this day get any more humiliating and embarrassing?" He muttered to himself as he leaned his forehead against the mirrored door.

"I was just wondering that myself." Patricia's voice called out from behind him.

Ron spun around and found himself facing Patricia. He had forgotten in the heat of the moment that she had ducked into his dressing room. The petite woman had one arm up trying to cover her barely covered breasts while her other hand was between her legs covering the miniscule bathing suit bottom.

"Oops!" Ron muttered and spinning around he tried to give her privacy only to remember that he was in a dressing room, which meant every wall had a mirror on it and no matter where he looked he could see the woman. The fact that he could also see that her eyes were now glued to his bare butt didn't help matters either.

Hearing the jingle of keys in the lock again, Ron made a grab for the doorknob but was too late as Monique unlocked the door again and quickly stepping inside she relocked the door.

"Monique! What are you doing?"

"Trying to save you from any further embarrassment Ron."

"How is this saving me from further embarrassment?!" Ron nearly squealed as Monique took several quick steps towards him.

"Well with me in here with the keys." Monique said holding up a set of keys. "Shego, Kim and that Passion woman can't force me to open the door to let them in. See? Your embarrassment is halved."

Ron reached out to take the keys when Monique with a brilliant smile she suddenly dropped them down her blouse. "Now, as part of my job as a Club Banana employee is to make sure that all clothing we sell fits the client perfectly. Does that bathing suit seem a little tight to you Ron? I noticed that it looked a bit constricting after you leered at that Passion woman, maybe I should check that?"

Ron freaking out backed away from Monique, only to bump into Rens in the tiny enclosed dressing room. "I was not leering at Gloria!" He said.

"I don't see how this is helping with either of our embarrassments." Patricia stated.

Monique snorted. "Yeah you are so embarrassed. I can't help but notice that you have your hand on Ron's ass."

Ron glanced over his shoulder and sure enough as he had backed up into Rens, she had put her hand out to stop him and it was now firmly resting on his left butt cheek. Patricia Rens threw up both hands as if she was being threatened at gunpoint and squealed. "I didn't mean to touch his butt! I have no interest in his butt! I mean it's a very nice butt but I'm not interested in men!"

Monique raised an eyebrow.

"I don't mean I'm interested in women! I mean I'm not interested in sex! Not with Stoppable I mean! I mean not at this moment!" Patricia wailed.

"Are you interested in sex with a woman at this moment?" Monique egged on, taking a certain sadistic glee in the poor woman's meltdown and runaway tongue.

"Not at this moment!" Patricia continued to wail as she began to hyperventilate.

"So…Maybe sometime later?" Monique asked with a smirk.

Patricia blinked. "With who? You or Ron?" She asked confused and then a moment later horrified as she realized what she had said. "I'm not interested in sex! With anyone! Ever again!"

Ron returned his attention to Monique with a frown. "Monique! Stop torturing the poor thing or I'll…" Ron paused as he realized he wasn't quite sure how to end that threat.

"Will you spank me Ron?" Monique asked, giving him doe like eyes.

Ron was too used to Shego and to a lesser extent Kim's teasing in private to fall into the same trap that Patricia had so he merely raised one of his own eyebrows and replied. "You would enjoy that too much for it to be a punishment."

Monique grinned at him and replied. "We could always try…" She got that far before the door to the dressing room was ripped open to reveal a glowing Mystical Monkey blue-eyed Shego and Kim standing there in the doorway.

"Ronald Dean Stoppable!" Kim shrieked at him. "What do you think you are doing in a store dressing room with two women?"

"Oh come on Kim! You are not laying this at my feet are you? If you and Shego hadn't forced me to try on this suit none of this would have had happened! And how can you blame me for Monique being in here? She has the keys to the door!"

"Way to defend a friend Ron." Monique scolded him before ducking behind him as she saw Shego eyeing her. "Protect me Ron!"

Shego and Kim pressed into the small dressing room forcing Ron to back up once again. Squishing Rens and Monique behind him.

"What are you doing?!" Patricia's outraged voice could be heard from behind him.

"Just checking the fit of your suit. It's my job." Monique's voice could be heard.

"Monique leave that poor girl alone." Ron sighed.

Everyone heard the musical sound of Gloria Passion's laughter from the doorway. "Shego, Kim will you at least let poor Pat out of there before she suffocates or faints?"

Ron flattened against one wall and Monique flattened against the opposite wall to allow Patricia an exit. Patricia however didn't move as she eyed the narrow gap between the two bodies. If she shimmied out sideways she could make it of course but that would mean choosing which one to face as she did so. The thought of sliding out facing Monique and her breasts maybe accidentally rubbing against hers after how that evil woman had toyed with her wasn't a pleasant idea… But the idea of facing Stoppable and what might brush against her was worse but then again if she faced Monique then something of Ron's might brush her backside and that would be even worse.

Ron after a moment realized where Patricia's mind was going and he simply stepped over to stand beside Monique allowing Patricia to slide along the wall facing both of them.

As Patricia inched her way along the mirrored wall, pressing as close to it as she could get, she saw Monique glance deliberately at Ron and then back at her and mouthed the words… "Maybe later?"

Patricia turned so bright red with embarrassment she looked like she a severely sunburned tomato. Stomping the few feet to where Kim and Shego still stood blocking the entrance to the room she shot both women such a glare that they both backed clear out of the room allowing her to leave.

"I…Am… Getting… Dressed…Now." Rens said through gritted teeth to Gloria as she reached the dressing room hallway.

Gloria with still a faint smile on her face nodded. "Of course, we've all seen the bathing suit and agree it looks stunning on you. Please get it."

"Whatever! Just let this torment be through with tonight."

Gloria who had grown up with six brothers and six sisters, slept in the same bed and even bathed together couldn't understand what there was to be so embarrassed about but nodded her head anyway.

Kim and Shego watched the young woman storm away back to her own dressing room to get dressed.

Hearing a noise, Shego, Kim and Gloria looked back to see Monique at Ron's dressing room door. "We'll be out in a short while." Monique said and then pulled the nearly destroyed door closed.

Shego stared at the door for a moment and then glanced at Kim. "She maybe one of your best friends Kim but I'm going to have to kill her tonight."

Kim shook her head. "I can't understand what has gotten into Monique lately. I mean she always had a mischievous streak but this is getting ridiculous."

A loud yelp was heard from the dressing room and then…" Monique! Stop pinching my butt!"

Kim with a determined nod looked to Shego. "Okay, we kill her."

Both Kim and Shego grabbed the door at the same time and ripped it fully this time off its hinges and stormed into the small dressing room.

Gloria laughed. God how she wished she had such amusing friends like Kim, Ron and Shego had.

Ten minutes later a fully dressed Gloria, Rens and Ron were standing in the dressing room hallway. Shego and Kim were standing, almost as if on guard outside the ruined dressing room doorway.

"I think we should all go out to dinner." Gloria stated.

Shego and Kim nodded their heads. "Yeah, it's the least we can do to make up to Ron and Patricia the embarrassment we put them through."

Monique stuck her head out of the dressing room. "Where are we going?"

Shego and Kim turned to look at her without saying a word and Monique ducked back into the dressing room hurriedly. "You can't keep me in this room all night and go to dinner too. You have to let me out sometime." Monique called out from the safety of the room.

"Why you can come out here right now." Shego replied with false sweetness.

"Um, no." Monique stated. "I'll just keep checking the room for how much the repairs are going to cost."

"Which of course you are going to pay for. Right?" Kim asked.

"Of course Kim." Monique replied. "Even though you and Shego destroyed the door." Monique added under her breath.

"What was that?" Shego asked.

"I said… Can't I please come with you all to dinner? I'll behave I promise."

"Do I get a vote?" Patricia asked in a frosty tone.

"Oh come on. You did promise later." Monique called out from the room.

"I never promised you anything later!"

"Oh so it was to Ron?"

"I never promised anything to Ron, er I mean Agent Stoppable!"

"So you are just toying with our affections?"

Patricia opened her mouth to yell back before shutting it with a decisive click. A moment later she said calmly. "I am not letting you get to me again."

"Awww but you might enjoy being 'gotten'."

Once again Patricia started to reply but closed her mouth without saying anything. Finally she muttered. "That blasted woman is worse than our psych examiners at Global Justice."

Gloria laughed again. "Come on, let's get something to eat."

They all started to move off.

"Kim?" Monique's sad voice called out. Kim glancing back saw Monique standing in the doorway of the ruined dressing room giving her puppy dog stare. Kim sighed. "Behave yourself, please Monique?"

Monique flashed a brilliant smile. "D.I.A?"

Patricia glanced over at Ron. "D.I.A?"

"Don't I always?" Ron supplied. "Monique likes to use abbreviations."

Author's notes:

Yeah, I'm back with a new story. I'm also working on the next chapter of Partners in Crime so don't worry.

Why so late yet again with updates?

Sigh. Its been rough lately for me.

First my laptop died. Suddenly, with no warning. Which I guess is the definition of suddenly isn't it? I had the stories on a external hard drive so they were safe but no computer to write with. I took my laptop to a repair shop and the diagnoses was... fried motherboard.

So I went back to the 'rent to own' place to start a lease on a new computer and they told me they would repair my laptop and gave me a loaner to use. A painfully slow laptop with little to no power. It took almost a full week to just get through all the updates to windows alone. Thinking they would have my laptop fixed in no time I kept putting off writing rather than use the excruciatingly slow loaner laptop. seven weeks later I was contacted and told that they would not be fixing my laptop as it would cost more than it was worth to replace the motherboard but they would give me a cost break on a new lease on another computer.

Having had it with windows computers I decided to try a Mac desktop unit, which is what I'm currently using.

Then injuries at work again. Getting conked on the head with a block of solid dishwashing detergent about the size and consistency of a concrete block kept me from writing as I had trouble seeing and headaches.

Learning how to use my new Mac computer (I've only used windows computers before and it is different).

But I'm back.

(with my luck watching for lightning to strike me at any moment)

Once again I will try to get the updates done faster. Sorry for the wait guys. (and gals).

Weirdbard.