Disclaimer: The rights for Buffy the Vampire Slayer belong to Joss Whedon. Original characters belong to the author.
AN: This is just an experiment. The idea came to me, and while part of me thinks it's an original idea, another part of me thinks it'll backfire. So I'm going to upload this first chapter, and if people like it then I'll continue.
Buffy caught sight of the pink princess costume on the other side of the shop, but barely a few seconds later Harmony stepped in the way. The popular girl squealed, jumping up and down as she convinced the shop keeper to take it off the mannequin.
The Slayer sighed. So much for that. Wouldn't have been able to afford it, anyway. She then saw another mannequin wearing a black t-shirt and a pair of jeans, with a pair of white trainers underneath and some fake glasses on the mannequin's face.
"Closet geek. Original," said Xander, noticing the costume as well.
"I think that's more of an out-in-the-open geek," Willow corrected him.
Buffy read what it said on the t-shirt. 'Kim Kerr; resident Jedi Master, Starfleet Commander, Hobbit, Avenger and Vampire Slayer'.
"You should get it, Buff," said Xander. "I mean, it has the words 'Vampire Slayer' on it; this costume was meant for you."
"And you said Halloween is a time to come as you aren't," said Willow.
"I guess." Buffy shrugged. "And it's in my budget, so why not? But where did the name 'Kim Kerr' come from?"
"Kim! Come and help with the candy!"
"Be there in a second, Mum!" Twenty-one year old Kim Kerr turned to where he seven year old brother, Max, was sat on the couch. He was dressed as a typical vampire; fake teeth, pale skin and black cloak. "So while the vampires in your stories dress like that, actual vampire dress like you and me."
"But what's the Vampire Slayer got to do with it?" asked Max.
Kim turned to her boyfriend, Zack Owens, and sent him a smirk. He smirked back. "Well, she fell in love with a vampire. But it didn't really work out," said Kim.
Max's head tilted quizzically. "How?"
"Let me lay it down for you." Kim's eyes widened in false innocence as she and Zack began to prance around, acting out the epic romance they always loved to mock. "Oh, Angel! I know that I'm a Slayer and you're a vampire, and it would be impossible for us to be together by that alone, not to mention the curse!"
"But that same Gypsie curse sometimes prevents me from seeing the truth," said Zack, deepening his voice. "Oh, Buffy! I love you so much that I almost forgot to brood!"
Kim turned away from him. "And even though you turned evil and I had to send you to Hell that one time, it doesn't mean we can't just be friends!"
Zack took her into his arms. "Or possibly more!"
Kim pulled away. "Gasp! No, we mustn't! Even though I'm too much of an immature and dumb teenage girl to see that you're bad for me!"
"Kiss me!" demanded Zack. He pulled Kim towards him once more.
"How about you both bite me?"
Kim and Zack leapt away from one another before turning to Kim's mother, Darlene. She was stood in the doorway, dressed as the She-Hulk, watching with a smirk on her face.
"We were, err…just giving Max a crash course," said Kim. "Since he's, you know, not allowed to watch it yet."
"And we can't give him the Spuffy crash course yet; that would be inappropriate," said Zack.
Darlene rolled her eyes. By her side Kim's father, Callum, appeared dressed as Batman. "You ready to go, Max?"
"Yeah!" The little boy leapt to his feet.
"Louis, Alice, time to go!" Darlene called up the stairs. Kim's younger twin siblings, aged twelve, hurried down the stairs. Louis was dressed as Spock while Alice was dressed as Princess Leia.
"The candy's in the kitchen," Callum told Kim. "And don't scare the kids too much." The parents and kids were gone within the next minute, leaving Kim and Zack alone.
"You wanna watch the Buffy Halloween episode?" asked Kim.
"Which one?" her boyfriend asked.
"The first one, obviously," said Kim. "It's the best."
"Yeah, although I do like the one in season four." Zack chuckled. "Best punch line ever."
"Actual size." Kim laughed along with him.
When they were sat on the couch and switching on the TV, Zack's eyes lingered on his girlfriend's new t-shirt. "I still can't get over that shirt. How much did you spend on it?"
"Doesn't matter how much I spent; it was worth it." Kim looked down at the custom-made shirt; she couldn't wait to show it off at the next convention. "I think I might sleep in it."
"Just try not to fall asleep too soon and leave me to brave the kiddies alone," said Zack.
They turned their attention back to where the DVD menu had appeared on the screen.
During the episode the pair took it in turns to answer the door, pausing the DVD whenever they did. Half way through, when the spell was just about to take effect, Kim found herself getting overly-tired, and quickly.
"Zack…I think there might have been something in my drink." She yawned loudly, and could barely keep her eyes open.
"Are you just trying to get out of getting up next time?" asked her boyfriend. "I might let it slide if you get me a shirt just like yours."
"But you'll have to put 'Watcher' on yours instead of 'Vampire…Slayer'." Her eyes closed.
And when she opened them again, Kim was standing in the middle of a very familiar street.
Sunnydale. And there were costumed kids running around everywhere, newly changed into what they'd come as.
"Ooh. This is one of those lucid dreams when I know I'm asleep and can control what happens," Kim said to herself. "Awesome." The kids she had apparently been chaperoning ran off, and Kim began to wander.
It all looked so real, but she was certain that it couldn't be. Looking down at herself, she found that she was wearing the same clothes she had fallen asleep in, but noticed that she was also…thinner. When she came across a house, she looked in the reflection of the window to see why.
She gasped. She was Buffy, dressed in her clothes.
What a weird dream.
Kim turned to see Willow and Xander hurrying towards her. They were both dressed in their costumes from the Halloween episode.
Then a pair of demons ran towards them, and they all froze.
"This could be a situation," said Xander.
"Buffy, what do we do?" asked Willow.
Kim decided to play along. After all, technically, she wasn't Buffy. "What? I'm not Buffy. I'm Kim."
Willow turned to her with wide eyes. "Huh?"
Xander fired several rounds of shots, scaring the demons away.
"Seriously, I'm not Buffy," said Kim. This is actually kinda fun.
"Oh, great. I was hoping you'd been spared." Willow turned back to Xander. "She's not Buffy."
"Who's Buffy?" he asked.
"A friend." Willow sighed. "How are we supposed to get through this without the Slayer?"
"What's a Slayer?" asked Xander.
"A Slayer slays vampires and demons," said Kim.
"Well, at least you know that, but I guess you would since it's on your t-shirt, and all," said Willow. "Basically, everyone has become their costumes; I'm a ghost, Xander's a soldier, and you're a geek."
"I didn't know you could dress as geeks for Halloween." Kim shrugged. "So I'm guessing this is some kind of spell, or something?"
"Yeah," said Willow. "I suppose you could help, being a geek and all."
A demon suddenly appeared behind them, but Xander leapt and hit it with his gun. "I suggest we get inside before we come across some more monsters."
"Yes, let's," said Willow
"Where do we go?" asked Xander.
"Where's the closest…?" Willow looked around, thinking. "Oh! We can go to a friend's!"
She hurried towards Buffy's house with Xander close behind, and Kim followed. This is the coolest dream ever! And to make it better, I'm not dressed as a princess; that would've been torture.
When they reached the house, Xander stepped in first to check. "All clear!"
Willow stepped in after. "Hello? Mrs. Summers?" When there was no reply, she sighed. "Good, she's gone."
"Where are we?" asked Kim, keeping up the act.
"Yeah, you don't remember, but you're really Buffy," replied Willow. "Now we just need to-"
There was a sudden banging at the door. Xander ran over to it.
"Don't open it!" Willow ordered him.
"It could be a civilian," he said.
"Or a demon."
Kim walked over and picked up a picture of Buffy. The frame felt real in her hand. A really lucid dream. I'll have to try and do this again sometime; maybe I can end up inside Star Wars or Thor. "Is this really me?" she asked.
"It is you," said Willow. "Buffy, can't you remember at all?"
"No." While it was a lie, at the same time it wasn't. While Kim knew who Buffy was and what had happened to her, she wasn't Buffy, therefore there were no memories to remember.
A hand smashed through the window of the door – a demon hand.
"Not a civilian!" yelled Willow.
"Affirmative!" Xander stuck his gun through the gap and began to shoot.
Willow gasped. "Hey, what did we say?!"
"Big noise, scare monster, remember?" said Xander.
There was a sudden scream outside. Xander cursed under his breath before yanking the door open and running out. A few minutes later, Willow opened the door and let him back in again; Cordelia was with him.
"What's going on?" the cheerleader asked.
"OK, your name is Cordelia, you're not a cat, you're in high school and we're your friends. Well, sort of," said Willow.
Cordelia didn't look amused. "That's nice, Willow. And you went mental when?"
"You know us?" Willow shot her a look of confusion.
"Yeah, lucky me. What's with the name game?"
"A lot's going on!"
"No kidding! I was just attacked by Jo-Jo, the dog face boy! Look at my costume!" She gestured to where her cat costume had been ripped on the arm. "Do you really think I'm gonna get my deposit back from Party Town? Not likely!"
"Here." Xander gave her his jacket.
Cordelia looked confused, but didn't protest. "Thanks."
"Willow here says that we've become who we're dressed as," said Kim. "She's a ghost, that guy's an army guy, and I'm a geek named Kim."
"Buffy dressed up as a geek?" Cordelia's eyebrow rose. "And here I thought she couldn't get any lamer."
"She was on a budget for her costume," said Willow. "You guys stay here while I get some help. If something tries to get in, just fight it off."
Xander nodded while Cordelia looked confused. "So what's going on again?"
"Buffy A.K.A. Kim just explained it," said Willow. "It's like amnesia. They don't know who they are. Just sit tight." She disappeared through the wall.
"Who died and made her the boss?" asked Cordelia.
Kim just smirked, resisting the urge to point out that Willow had been turned into a ghost. With Willow gone, the trio began to pile furniture up in front of the doors.
"You!" Xander pointed to Cordelia. "Check upstairs and make sure everything's locked up."
Obviously still a little thankful about giving her his jacket, Cordelia did as asked without a word. Xander then noticed a picture of himself, Willow and Buffy; he picked it up.
"Whoa. She must be right," he said. "We must have some kind of amnesia."
"It makes sense," said Kim. She walked over to a mirror to look at herself properly. "This Buffy girl's a way better figure than me; do you realize how hard it is for me to lose weight?" It was only then that she realized her hair was up in two little pony tails. "And what was she thinking with this hairstyle? I look like a twelve year old!"
That's when Angel walked into the room. "Oh, good. You guys are alright. It's total chaos out there."
"Who are you?" asked Xander in confusion.
Angel looked just as confused. "OK, someone wanna fill me in?"
"Do you live here?" asked Xander.
"No, and you do know that." Angel turned to Kim. "Buffy, I'm lost here."
Kim bit her lip, resisting the urge to tell the broody vampire exactly where to stick it. "I'm not Buffy. We've turned into our costumes, apparently. And no offence, but Buffy has no taste in men. You're not my type of guy."
Angel looked hurt, and Kim supposed that had been a little harsh. Angel wasn't a bad character; he was pretty cool on his own show, out of Buffy's reach. It was his ridiculous romance with the Slayer that was annoying.
Cordelia walked into the room. "They don't know who they are, and everyone's turned into a monster; it's a whole big thing. How are you?"
The lights suddenly shut off, and there was more banging at the door.
"You take the civilian into the kitchen," Xander told Angel. "Cat woman, you're with me."
Angel grabbed Kim's hand, but she yanked it away. "I can follow you by myself, you know. I don't need a man by my side to make me strong."
"So are all girl-geeks feminists?"
Kim shrugged. "Only the real ones."
Once they were in the kitchen, they noticed the open door. "Wait, I didn't leave that open." He walked over to shut it.
Suddenly a demon leapt out of the closet and tried to grab Kim. She turned and whacked it, before Angel grabbed it and pinned it to the floor. "Stake! Get me a stake!"
"But what if it's just a poor kid in a costume?" Kim pointed out.
Angel turned to her, showing his vampire face. Deciding that she really wanted to be away from him – and deciding to go with the flow of the episode – Kim faked a scream and ran out the door.
Once she was certain Angel wasn't following, she stopped running. "God. It's guys like him which makes girls like Buffy all the more stupid. They show up, stalk the girls, the girls think it's out of love, then the guy turns out to be a jerk and the girl gets burnt. I'm beginning to realize where the whole Twilight vibe started… And oh my God, I can't believe I just said that!" She slapped herself.
Kim continued walking as she surveyed her surroundings. This part of the neighbourhood had thankfully quietened down.
"OK, think," she said to herself. "Buffy ran to that alley where she met the pirate, who Xander beat to a pulp. Then Spike showed up. Good. If I stick to the script, play it safe, everything should work out just fine…or not."
She halted when she saw Spike stood in the middle of the road, facing her with a couple of demon minions behind him.
OK, I need to remember that he's evil at this point. God, why couldn't I have dreamt myself into season seven, or something?
He smirked at her. "What're you supposed to be, Slayer?"
"A geek," said Kim. "Are you not aware of what's happening around you? Everyone's turned into their costumes. So right now, I'm not Buffy." She pointed to her name on the shirt. "I'm Kim. You want to kill the Slayer, and technically, you won't be killing her."
"But that's her body, and with no body, no Slayer," said Spike. "I would prefer to fight you at full strength; I've always liked to dance with Slayers, and I've been particularly lookin' forwards to dancin' with you. But my Dru needs her strength back, and right now, you're a soddin' thorn in my side who won't let me heal her."
"If this Dru's a dangerous vampire, I can see why Buffy doesn't want her to heal," said Kim. She knew she had to sound convincing in her partial confusion; Spike was a lot harder to fool than the Scoobies.
Thankfully he seemed to buy her false naivety. He took several steps towards her. "With you gone, Dru and I will paint the town red and dance on your grave."
Distraction…he needs a distraction… Kim sighed, faking boredom. "I don't think you'll get your wish; this Buffy girl's obvious kicked your ass several times, and this weird spell is gonna wear off at some point- Oh my God, that kid was dressed as a dragon?! How big was his costume?!"
It worked; Spike turned curiously to look, and the moment he had, Kim legged it the other way. "Made you look!"
"You bloody bitch!"
Kim laughed as she ran. Somehow, Buffy's Slayer powers were still in effect; Kim could run faster, and she didn't tire. Unless that's just the dream.
She found herself at the alley where she bumped into the pirate, whom she kicked away rather spectacularly. No sooner had she done so, the others arrived; Xander ran and pummelled the pirate into the ground while Cordelia and Angel hurried to see if Kim/Buffy was OK.
"Sorry I scared you," Angel apologized.
"You could've told me you were a vampire!" Kim yelled, smacking his arm.
Cordelia looked between them, before her gaze rested on Angel. "So wait, you really are a vampire? My bad; Buffy can have you."
Xander re-joined them. "It's strange, but beating up that pirate gave me a weird sense of closure."
They turned to see Willow hurrying towards them. "Willow!" Cordelia cried out.
"We have to get inside!" She turned and pointed towards where Spike had appeared with his demon groupies.
"We need a triage," said Xander.
Angel nodded. "This way. Find an open warehouse."
"Ladies, we're on the move!" Xander led Cordelia and Willow away.
Kim went to follow, and was almost grabbed by Angel. She battered his arms away. "I'm not some damsel in distress; I can run on my own!"
They hurried after Xander. He led them into an empty warehouse, and after ordering, "Check if they're any other ways in!" he and Angel began to build a barricade.
Kim looked around, and seeing several crates stacked up, she climbed on top of them. I might as well make use of the dream and prove to Mr. Broody that I can take care of myself.
When she reached the top, the barricade broke and the demons poured in. Xander and Angel tried to fight back, but they were soon surrounded and captured.
Spike looked around. "Where's the Slayer? Or rather, the bint in the Slayer's body?"
Using her newfound Slayer strength, Kim pushed several of the crates down towards the group. Most were able to dodge the avalanche, but two of Spike's vampire mooks were crushed underneath the rubble.
Kim climbed down and stood defiant in front of Spike. "I don't need any powers to fight you. I've got plenty I can use here," She pointed to her head, "and here." She pointed to her heart.
"Yeah, well this ain't a bleedin' Disney film," Spike spat. "I'm gonna kill you and have myself a real good day. And since I quite fancy that t-shirt of yours, I'm gonna keep it as a souvenir."
"Does that make you a closet geek?" Kim couldn't resist asking.
"Enough interruptions!" Spike stalked forwards.
Suddenly Kim felt herself being ripped from the Slayer's body, and seconds later, she was lying on her couch with Zack looking over her.
"You fell asleep," he said.
Kim sat up. The TV was still on and still playing the episode; it had just reached the point where Buffy was back to herself, Spike having pulled the wig off her.
She grinned before turning back to Zack. "You'll never believe the awesome dream I just had!"
When Buffy found that she was in control of her own body, she didn't hesitate to attack Spike. She kicked him, punched him and threw him across the room, and after a quick glance over at her friends to make sure the eyes of the kids were averted, she broke off a piece of wood to use as a stake.
Buffy held it high above her head as she prepared to stake the vampire.
But when she looked into his eyes, she froze.
She had seen the memories of the girl who had been in her body; she was still trying to understand exactly what she had seen.
One thing she had seen, though, was Spike – fighting by her side, protecting her family, remaining loyal to her when everyone else had turned their backs, saving the world…
And just like that, she knew she couldn't stake him.
Spike saw her hesitation, and for a moment he looked just as shocked as she felt. But then the shock wore off, and he tore away from her. He picked himself up off the floor and bolted from the factory.
"Buffy, are you alright?"
Buffy turned back to her friends…but had to look away again. Her friends… She had seen so much happen to them…so much pain…
And Angel… She couldn't even look at Angel.
After a moment's pause, Buffy nodded in reply to the question. But inside, she knew she was most certainly not OK.