(Degrassi goes hollywood DID happen, but then it goes from there and Manny obviously didn't stay with Jay very long)

Manny's point of view.. .

I always had a reputation in highschool. A bad one at that, sorta wild, maybe boy crazy. That was in highschool though. I guess I was sorta wild and free, my parents were so conservative and that just wasn't me. I liked to stick out and make a scene (a born to be actress) .

And that I did, boy was I good at driving guys coo-coo bananas. I loved to party too. I was always making Emma go with me to some parties, or even throwing our own (and one went horribly wrong, but we won't get into that.. that was too emotional to get into with J.T and all). Anyways. So do you get it? I was a wild little thing. I gave boys what they wanted, weather it was attention, sex, or even making out with other girls at parties to entertain them, and you know..that's when it should of hit me.

Making out with girls was fun, more fun than maybe it should of been. I mean, it wasn't like Emma or Liberty went to parties and happily kissed girls. Then again, they weren't 'attention whores' like I was back then but that's when I figured it out. I wasn't craving attention all along, go figure! I was just in denial and confused about myself and trying to find myself and this was it!...I, Manny Santos, was a lesbian.. or bi, or whatever.

I finally admitted it to myself the night Jay, my boyfriend at the time, threw a party for Sean visiting home from the army just after first year college ended.

Emma was ofcourse, soooo excited for his return. And we got drunk, all of us, even Emma. A bunch of people came to the party and it was a blast! I've been with Jay for a bit and he was downright in love with me, I had the bad boy from the ball n chain. I loved him too, I did, just couldn't really fall in love you know? I wanted something more, something feminine, something more soft, with long hair..and curves..

Getting off topic!

So me and Emma are giggling away as usual, she's telling me how she's bringing Sean home that night (She had finally lost her virginity a year ago, I knew all her little dirty secrets since I was her best friend, so I knew she was quite the tease behind closed doors minus the fact she wouldn't ever let anybody else know that). Jay and Sean had come over, and their bromance was almost as close as mine and Emma's friendship (But we were closer trust me). We teased them that they should just date, and Jay, the perv he could be, kept teasing us that we should actually just date cause me and Emma were practically attached by the hip and always together, and had even lived together. I playfully kissed Emma, just to get Jay all hot and bothered, but as I did it, I noticed I was even more turned on by it then he was. She had the softest lips ever, and she tasted of vanilla. Jay always tasted like booze or cigerettes with mint. I kissed her harder, and she kissed me back. The guys were loving it, even Sean, who never gets to see Emma act like that. But I was loving it more, that moment I knew I was gay for Emma- erm, gay for girls I mean. . Emma was just the first girl I finally noticed my love for girls with.

Anyway.. we moved along after that. The boys bugged us at other parties to kiss again but we never did, Emma always seemed to shy and would always slap Sean to shut up. Oh except for Christmas last year, we kissed again then, under a mistletoe. It was more soft, and slow.. I had missed her since moving to Hollywood. The guys kept insisting it was 'tradition' and I had to agree. It was.

Oh, just so you know, I also dumped Jay. But, we're totally cool! I even came out to him this year... I came out to everyone actually when I moved to Hollywood. I know, coward move, come out of the closet when you move towns but I was scared you know? Least I did it, right? Everyone knew now.

Jay was pretty bummed. But I even had sex with him to cheer him up, and it kinda did, but I guess with his other ex, Alex, also turning out to be a lesbian, things just weren't going his way. We were still pretty close, and he still visited me up here, but the romance was dead.

In fact, I'm sure you'd be interested to know who I just begun dating now. I'll give you a hint? Blonde, petite, as sassy as me. I slapped her once or twice in highschool and she also, coincidently, moved to Hollywood to be an actress. We had more in common then we thought.

Shocking, right? Paige Michealchuck. We met back up in Hollywood, when both fighting another for a role to some movie. I had ended up being the cause of another one of her broken legs...but she seemed rather cool about it, a whole new Paige, and helped me get the star role for that movie we were both trying to get. I had come out to her too as friends first, when laughing at old memories when I blurted out that I had come out of the closet recently. I don't know, maybe it's cause I knew she was one too, or because I was lonely in Hollywood, but I'm glad I told her. She told me ways how to deal with it like if anyone ever judged me. . or if I ever got down about myself. But, everyone seemed pretty cool with it though. I was even stunned. Ofcourse though, Emma was the first person I told out of everyone. I could tell she was a bit shaken up by it, but accepted it and loved me no matter what, and we were cool after that. She even teased me at bars and tried to push me towards girls who checked me out but I was still a little too new, too shy. I still go and dance with guys at clubs, until I started to date Paige that is. And I wasn't into butch lesbians or anything, ugh! Sean use to joke around about that and I wanted to punch him sometimes. His boy-ish attitude, wife beater and jeans didn't turn me on, so why would a girls? I liked beauty queens, like myself, which most people called 'lipstick' lesbians..whatever that means. .

I realized I really liked blondes too.

Anywhooo! Paige and me went out a lot off set when we stopped filming. I actually got her a job as an assistant, it was like Paige was working off all the Diva ness in her and making up for her snob attitude back in highschool.. she was a really almost a whole new girl. Anyways we went for dinner a lot and soon those dinners turned into dates once I learned her and Alex broke up even before Paige came to Hollywood (something about diva issues back then too and Alex had become fed up with her but Paige did the dumping.) So, me and Paige were getting closer and don't get me wrong, we still got into our hissy fits with another but it's like it was just our sexual tension or something. Making up was fun. I love it when she goes down on me. Is that too much? I'm sure Alex taught her everything she knows anyways and I know Paige still misses her so we were just having fun... but its been months now and things are getting pretty serious. She's over all the time, and practically living with me in my condo, and she seems to of gotten over Alex..and tomorrow, we're going home together to tell our friends and family we're official.

Why am I so friggen nervous? Everyone knows.. but on the plane ride back to Toronto, my stomach is twisting and turning.

I hear my phone go off and smile seeing Emma had texted me. 'Can't wait 2 c u'. . .ugh, I couldn't wait to see Em either. It was like a hole in my heart being away from that girl! We've been through thick and thin, through all the heart breaks together. She's still with Sean, and as much as I love him as a best friend, he's been treating her like crap again. I wanted to just slap him sometimes. Emma was too good, and too beautiful in and out for him. Supposedly they were taking a 'break' or something, they tried to move in together but things weren't working so Emma was back at her parents. Who knows! Who cares, as long as I get my Emma alone time.

"Excited, hon?" Paige asked beside me. She smirked over to me with those thin pink lips, blue eyes twinkling and wearing a dress of her favorite color. Pink. I actually hated that color, I mean it looked GOOD on me but I wouldn't want it in my Condo so when Paige tried to once buy pink curtains for my (or our) room, I had almost freaked the hell out. It wasn't easy living with another, but we worked on it.

I couldn't help but cringe and give her my Manny pout, "I think I'm gonna be sick." I confessed and dove up, running to the back of the plane for the bathroom to go puke.

Usually I was a good flyer, really!

...yea.. something was making me a nervous wreck.