Author here. I don't own Victorious (Obviously. Seriously, would Dan Schneider ever post here? No.)

This is a story about Tori and Jade, both how they get into a relationship, as well as how they react to some things after they form that relationship.

Rated M because there will be femslash, so be warned.

And if the title of the story confuses you, don't worry. It'll be explained in a future chapter. A hint: it's a euphemism.


"Hello class, my name is Mr. Sikowitz, and welcome to – oh." He turned around. "Well, I recognize all of you. Welcome to Acting II!"

Tori Vega looked around. After a year of going to this school, she recognized everyone, too. Next to her on her right sat her best friend, André Harris. To her left sat her friends Cat Valentine and Robbie Shapiro, awkwardly holding hands but smiling at each other nonetheless. He had his puppet (though he'd never admit that it was a puppet), Rex, on his lap, leaning against his torso lazily.

Behind her sat her friend, Beck Oliver, who was sitting next to her frenemy, Jade West. During their junior year, Beck and Jade had had an on-again-off-again relationship, but over the summer Beck had broken them up for good, for reasons only he and Jade knew.

"Oh, would you look at that! Out of coconuts again! There's more in my car, I'll be back in 10 minutes. Don't go anywhere, wouldn't want you to miss out on your first day, now would we?" Sikowitz said to the class, making a dash for the door.

"Can you believe him?" Tori asked the gang, a bit annoyed at Sikowitz leaving the class less than 30 seconds after the bell rang.

"No, I can't." Cat said dreamily, obviously not understanding the tone of Tori's voice.

"Well it figures," André added, "The man needs his coconut milk."

"I think I'd be more worried if he didn't have his coconut milk." Beck interjected.

"Well I'm still annoyed that he had to leave." Tori huffed.

"Maybe someone stole his coconuts." Rex said.

"One time, my brother was in line at the bank, and he saw $1000 on the counter and stole that." Cat said.

Beck looked at her and said, "Cat, don't ever tell that story again."

"Rex, did you steal Sikowitz's coconuts?" Robbie asked.

Rex paused for a moment, and then finally said, "Yes… but if you look at Jade, you'll see that those aren't the only two coconuts I –"

"Robbie, shut that stupid puppet up!" Jade snapped, adding to the conversation for the first time.

As Robbie made to put Rex in his bag, Rex began to yell. "I am not a puppet, I am a person and I have rights. Put me down! Put me down!"

"Ugh, I hate that stupid thing." Jade said, crossing her arms.

"I heard that!" Rex shouted, muffled by the contents of Robbie's bookbag.

"I'm back, kids!" Sikowitz said from the doorway. "And I already have your first assignment!"

"So he's late to class and he has an assignment for us," Tori muttered under her breath. "Absolutely fan-tastic." The last syllable lingered for just a second longer, accentuating Tori's annoyance at Sikowitz.

"The assignment…" Sikowitz paused and pounded his feet on the ground for dramatic effect, "Is to write a scene and perform it for me in the Blackbox Theater next Tuesday. You will be doing this in partners, whom I will randomly assign…" He paused again, "Now!"

"So let's see… There are ten of you, so this should be simple. Hmm… Ryan and Samantha. Allison and Leah. Beck and André. Robbie and Cat. And… Tori and Jade."

Tori gasped.