Fuku is a Four Letter Word

Opening Scene:

Genma brought the stop sign down on Ranma's head hard enough to snap the pole in half. As Ranma crumpled to the ground Genma worried for a moment that he'd hit him too hard, but shrugged it off as unlikely, the boy had inherited the Saotome skull after all.

Meanwhile in Ranma's head the blow shook loose something that normally wouldn't have surfaced without years of hypnosis and meditation or the use of some fungi that even Timothy Leary wouldn't touch.


"So pick one of my daughter's and she'll be your bride," Soun offered.

"Not a chance in hell," Ranma said pleasantly, before the girls could start turning on each other.

"What?!" came the near universal screech.

"I found out about this little arrangement less than an hour ago. If this was truly an honorable arrangement I would have been notified years ago and introduced to the girls following the proper forms. Instead I was knocked unconscious and drug here against my will mere minutes after being told of it. No, this is improper and possibly part of some scam."

The fathers were actually stunned into silence, Soun by the accusation and Genma by the way Ranma was speaking.

Pity the girls weren't.

"Well who wants to marry you, you peeping tom!" Akane snarled.

Ranma ignored her and sipped his tea. "Thank you for your hospitality, but I really must go. I need to cure this curse and I doubt I can do that sitting here."

"You'll do no such thing!" Genma yelled. "Before you were born we pledged to unite the schools!"

"And it wasn't important enough to mention until today?"

"You didn't need to know until today," Genma shot back.

"I… I suppose you are stupid enough to pull something like that," Ranma admitted. "Assuming the world would just go along with one of your moronic ideas is just like you."

"It is a matter of family honor," Genma swore trying to look noble.

"Alright, I'll stick around to see if there is any truth to the claim," Ranma agreed grudgingly. "But if I find this is some scam you're trying to push me into the panda curse will be the least of your worries."

"I'm glad that's settled, now which one do you choose?" Soun asked eagerly.

The girls argued and pushed the engagement off on Akane insulting Ranma repeatedly while doing so. The father's instantly chimed in that they were the perfect couple.

"So you admit it's all a scam then?" Ranma asked.


"You offer me the choice and then show that you were lying I have no choice at all and once more attempt to rush things through," Ranma said coldly.

"B-but," Soun stuttered.

"The proper thing to do is allow us several months to get to know each other, not dump one of your daughters on me like an unwanted puppy."

"We didn't mean it like that," Genma protested.

"I can't legally marry for two years," Ranma said flatly. "So while requiring me to choose after having known the girls a couple of months before I can marry is reasonable, anything less and I'll know you're up to something."

"I suppose that's not unreasonable," Soun admitted.

"Just as long as you aren't trying to duck out of your responsibilities," Genma said unnerved by the changes in Ranma.

"As long as everything was straight and above board, I always have," Ranma admitted.


Ranma found himself walking through a shattered palace. The air was cold and thin and each step threw up a cloud of dust that seemed to hang forever in the air before settling back down.

"What are you doing here?" a woman in a silvery dress asked.

"Not sure," Ranma shrugged and turned away to find his attention captured by his reflection in a broken mirror lying in the dust. Wiping away the dust he was surprised to see a girl with red and black streaked hair looking back at him, the earth high in the sky behind her.


Ranma came out of the pond sputtering, just in time to block Genma's flying kick.

"Come on boy, can't let city living make you soft," Genma called out.

"True enough," Ranma agreed, much to Genma's surprise.

"My they're energetic," Kasumi said.

Nabiki looked blurrily out into the back yard as she sipped her coffee. "Yay."

Akane stomped down the stairs, jealous of the skills she'd seen displayed by the two. "I can't believe how rude they are. Don't they know people are trying to sleep?"

"You were out jogging, Kasumi was making breakfast, and I was in the bath," Nabiki said, knowing why her sister was complaining and enjoying needling her. "So who are they bothering?"

"Daddy-" Akane began.

"Yes, dear?" Soun interrupted, drawing attention to the fact that he was quietly reading the paper.

"Never mind," Akane grumbled, denied anyone she could use as an example of how rude the two guests were being.

"That was a good spar, Pops," Ranma offered, as she took off her top and wrung it out.

"Don't you have any feminine modesty?!" Akane demanded.

"No, my father never thought his son needed to learn any," Ranma retorted making Nabiki choke on her coffee from laughing.

"Oh my," Kasumi said after seeing her father had frozen up on seeing Ranma's chest. "Father, father," she said disapprovingly.

"But I may need to develop some," Ranma admitted, before dashing upstairs to clean up.

Typing by: Bankrupt Samurai!