Rule #1. Semes don't eat cake.

Spain stared out the window.

It was a beautiful day. Sunlight filtered through the foliage outside and continued far into the room, creating bright patterns of chiaroscuro along the walls. Spain idly traced the moving patterns of light and shadow with a forefinger, musing over the "book" that Germany had handed to him after the meeting the other day. Well, it wasn't really a book, per say, more like a set of guidelines...

Although he couldn't quite fathom the reasoning behind the first rule. Surely there was nothing wrong with eating cake?

Still, Germany had told him that if he wanted to improve his relationship with Romano, he needed to follow at least some of the guidelines.

And he had to start somewhere. So if he couldn't follow this most basic tenant of asserting his masculinity, how could he expect his Lovi to take him seriously?

B-b-but cake...

"Dios," Spain muttered, thrusting a hand through his unruly hair.

Romano barged into the room, interrupting his thoughts.

"Hey Spain, Italy and I made some tiramisu, do you want to eat it now or-"

Romano abruptly stopped mid-sentence and stared at Spain.

"Are you crying, bastard? What's wrong with you, it's just cake."

"Lo siento, Lovi," Spain murmured, turning away. "I don't think I can eat it now. Or ever again."


Spain turned back, almost hesitant. Lovino hadn't said anything. Did that mean he had overcome the first part of getting Romano to recognize his role as the dominant male partner?

Spain turned his hopeful eyes to the Southern Italian, looking for that spark of realization that let him know that Romano understood what he was trying to say.

Instead, Romano racked him.

"You – you bastard! You decide to stop eating desserts after I make it?"

"Fratello, no!"

Romano stalked away, Feliciano trailing frantically after him and leaving Spain to roll around helplessly on the living room floor in pain.

Poor Antonio! He's off to a rough start.

For those of you who haven't read the "Seme's handbook/Uke survival guide," google just that. It's on EddieVanPanda's deviant art.

Rule 14, and 17 are on their way! Leave a comment if you have a rule you want to see! Or if you have any ideas for how you want a certain rule to be... shall we say... executed... *eyes glint mischievously*