From the moment they first saw their baby sister in her mother's arms, their father draping a protective arm around both, Bruce Wayne's sons knew that they hadn't seen anything as beautiful as little Alexandria Wayne. Dick had more or less given up on maintaining any sense of composure, and he was cooing and making baby faces alongside Barbara at the baby. Both were secretly glad they'd left their son Carter with Grandpa Alfred at the Manor; the toddler would be having a jealous fit if he saw his parents now.
Jason and Damian were next as Dick and Barbara moved away to let the others see little Alex. They were holding it in better than their older brother, something they were initially smug about. Jason snickered when Diana nudged Damian to hold the baby, causing the young teen to shake his head in frantic panic, but he froze up himself on realizing that his new sister had somehow sneakily wound her tiny hand around his finger. His heart wanted to melt into a puddle of affection for the new kid; his head screamed at him to man up. He was the goddamn Red Hood! The toughest and scariest of the Batclan! He ate bad guys for dinner; Gotham's criminals pissed their pants the moment they heard him walking around the corner! How was it that a baby girl, adorable as she was, could gurgle at him and leave him a simpering simpleton? He glanced at his kid brother beside him and saw Damian having the same internal conversation as the boy stared at Alexandria.
Damian gulped audibly, and he was visibly and hilariously shaking from head to toe as he slowly reached out to pick up little Alexandria from his adoptive mother. Dick nudged him. "Dude, would you stop shaking like that? You're like a human vibrator."
Damian elbowed his older brother hard, a brief flicker of satisfaction across his face as Dick grunted in surprise. The boy's attention was returned to his younger sister soon after however, and he raised an incredulous eyebrow when he realized that the shaking stopped once his hands came into contact with his sister.
Damn, but she was brave, he had to give her credit for that. He had expected her to be crying, like every other baby that was not him, as she was brought into this world, surrounded by strangers. Not every baby could be like he was after all, even if she was the daughter of the Dark Knight and the Amazon Princess. However, she'd only cried once, wanting to be fed, before looking at her new family members, curiosity in her eyes. She gurgled happily as Damian warily ran a finger through the patch of soft downy hair on her head, inadvertently tickling her. He killed off the sappy smile that suddenly appeared and fought to remain on his face, arranging it back into his normal scowl. He too had a reputation to maintain.
His eyes narrowed as he realized that Alexandria still had one hand wrapped around Jason's finger. A sudden spark of jealousy flared to life inside him. Damian scowled at his older brother; Jason glared back in challenge. Oh it was on, Todd.
Damian slowly and deliberately took the baby girl from his adoptive mother into his arms, maintaining eye contact with Jason throughout. The movement caused Jason to take a step towards him, lest Jason lose the grip his sister's hand had on his little finger. Damian smirked at his older brother. Jason stared daggers at him. Bruce and Diana shook their heads in resignation.
On a sudden unspoken signal, the two warring brothers began tickling and cooing to their baby sister in baby talk, causing Alexandria to giggle happily, if in confusion at the sudden change.
Behind the two idiot brothers, the more sensible siblings stood behind smirking. Tim and Cassandra casually leaned against the wall, the latter shaking her head at Jason & Damian's antics, the former awaiting his turn with his new sister while he held his wife's hand. It didn't take long. The baby broke into tears, confused by the minute by her older brothers' unspoken squabbling as they fought for her attention. Tim swooped in before either Bruce or Dick could, and cradled the baby in his arms, whispering to her in soothing tones and rocking her softly. She stopped almost immediately, to the chagrin of Jason and Damian, and gurgled contentedly at Tim before yawning. Tim grinned slyly at his brothers, who promptly scowled back at him, and waggled his eyebrows suggestively at his wife. Stephanie only rolled her eyes.
Clark, the only non-family member who Bruce trusted enough at that moment to be in the same room as Alexandria, had observed the whole scene with a raised eyebrow. He snorted in amusement as he came to stand beside his best friend. "You know your daughter's going to have all her big brothers wrapped around her little finger, right?" he asked Bruce. "Shouldn't be too hard, she's already done it with her dad."
Bruce grimaced, but didn't argue the point as he looked fondly at his new-born daughter. Clark was right, after all. "Well, at least she'll always have someone looking out for her."
Clark grinned. "True. I wonder how they'll react when she's old enough to date."
Five heads swivelled so fast to face him he could almost hear the synchronised crack of their necks. There was a sudden urge in him to run away screaming. His foot was nervously tapping out a rapid staccato on the floor and he was pretty sure he was in danger of having a pants malfunction at any moment. He focused his gaze at Diana, at the baby, at the presents left by the earlier visitors, at anywhere but Bruce and his children. Don't look at the Batclan, don't look at the Batclan, whatever you do Clark, if you want to make it out of this room alive, DO NOT look at the Batclan!
He looked at the Batclan.
Now Clark, as Superman, was a seasoned superhero. He was a founder of the Justice League, and had served as its leader from time to time. He'd gone up against the worst of villains, even toe to toe against Darkseid. Therefore, it went without saying that Clark did not scare easily. But five simultaneous full-strength Bat-glares from Bruce and his sons (and a very slow, very dangerous Bat-stare from Cass) would have given even the ruler of Apokolips pause. Anybody else would have been reduced to cinders in a puddle of escaped urine.
And then they would have left the unfortunate soul to the mercy of Alfred.
Diana tried unsuccessfully to smother the giggle that threatened to escape her as she looked at her husband and adopted sons and daughter, all ready to commit bloody murder on whichever idiot fool male who dared to lay a hand on their new princess.