Title: Project Life, The Final Presentation
Characters: Swan Queen
Disclaimer: Once belongs to A&E/ I am neither of those people.
Warning: Unbeta'd so there may be spelling/grammar errors.
Summary: Swan Queen set in high school. A reluctant Regina Mills is paired with Emma Swan of all people to watch over a fake baby and write a paper about what their life together would be like after twenty-five years of marriage. AU No magic, no curse.
"For this assignment, Miss Swan and I-"
"Really, honey bunches, you'd think after twenty-five years of marriage you'd learn to call me by my first name."
Regina closes her eyes and counts to five in her head. It's been like this for the past three months. She turns to her fellow classmate and assigned 'Project Life' partner, Emma Swan. "If you think I won't hurt you just because we're in the middle of a presentation." She whispers discreetly pinching the underside of blondes forearm, "You are sorely mistaken."
Emma's smug grin disappears with a yelp and Regina turns back to the waiting audience of Storybrooke High Juniors. She takes a deep calming breath and straightens her flashcards on the wooden podium. "As I was saying. The assignment was to adequately provide and care for a simulated infant while maintaining a randomly generated career and a stable prosperous marria-"
"Sugar bear, I think they all know what the homework was. They did it too." Emma murmurs.
Regina scowls, "Cut it with the nick names already."
"I only do it to piss you off! But also, your speech is putting the class to sleep." Emma mentions bluntly.
"Did you want to give the speech?" Regina asks, the hint of a challenge in her eyes. She should know by now that Emma Swan is never one to back down from a challenge.
Emma drums her fingers in excitement and launches her own impromptu speech. "It was a brisk autumn day that I, Emma Swan -a dashing young Judo Instructor- met the woman who was to become my adoring wife; Regina Mills, Bus Driver." Regina curls her lip at this. "My car -no wait- my Harley Davidson motorcycle." At the back of the class August hoots in approval, Emma nods. "Anyway my Harley had broken down so I had to take the bus. I was lucky enough to be on Regina's bus route that day."
"I was not so lucky." Regina adds from beside Emma, her arms crossed over her stomach. Some of their classmates chuckle and Katheryn claps twice. +
Emma ignores this and continues with their fabricated story. "It was love at first sight." The blonde says wistfully. Regina shakes her head but can't hold back the small smile as Emma keeps up the act, wiping away a non-existent tear as if she's nostalgic about this pretend day that happened thirty imaginary years ago.
"It may have been love at first sight for her." Regina says. "But for me it was more, complete and utter loathing."
"Oh please, you were totally checking me out." Emma wiggles her eyebrows and flexes her arms. "My body was perfectly sculpted by years of diligent mastery of the Art of Judo." The blonde playfully karate chops the podium. Regina places her hands on her hips.
"Perfectly sculpted huh?" Regina quirks an eyebrow before assessing Emma's athletic frame with a mask of indifference, "I'm not sure what happened after that, we rolled the dice remember? You got a four and that means you're chubby now as a fifty year old Sheriff."
Emma tilts her head to the side, "That's because my wife is such an amazing cook!" She says sweetly winking at her partner.
"Stop flirting with me while I'm insulting you." Regina growls, obviously flustered due to prolonged exposure to Emma Swan.
"Oh, what are you gonna do? Punish me?" Emma shoots back. Their eyes lock, brown filled with fury and green with mirth.
"Ah dearies?" Mr Gold clears his throat from his desk. "Your presentation, please." Ruby and Tink can be heard snickering to each other in the second row. Killian takes this opportunity to flick a note at a slumbering David, it lands under Mary Margaret's desk.
Regina is the first to break eye contact. Her cheeks are hot, she knows she's blushing. "Yes I was a... Bus Driver," Regina cringes as she admits her randomized career, "But I saved my money and took night classes and eventually got a Bachelors Degree in Political Science."
"While I stayed at home and watched our infant son, Henry. Yes, we named him Henry, after her father. Hey Mr Gold, you don't dock points if the name is super boring do you? Cause I had a way better name picked out if it's not too late."
"For the umpteenth time, you are NOT naming our child River Swan." Regina hisses, she can't believe Emma is bringing this up now. The name debate had lasted an entire week.
"River Swan-Mills" Emma corrects.
Emma lifts her hands in confusion, "What? I thought you'd like it! Regina, River, they both start with R!"
"That's idiotic!" Regina is so done with this imbecilic idea of Emma's.
Emma huffs in defeat, "Tell that to Doctor Who..." she mumbles to herself.
Regina shoves her laptop into Emma's arms and motions for her to hook it up to the projector and Emma pouts at first but complies after a single icy glare from Regina.
While Emma struggles with untangling the wires, Regina addresses the class. "The simulated doll had a computer chip inside of it that would log how many hours it spent crying until we attended to it. There were sensors that felt when we changed his diapers, fed him and hugged him."
"Oh yeah!" Emma rejoices from behind the laptop screen. The blonde types quickly and the projector whirs to life.
Regina points towards the projected image on the board, "As you can see from this chart, our son Henry did not lack for anything."
Emma ducks behind the podium for a moment and comes back up with the baby doll dressed quite smartly in a navy blue uniform and gray scarf striped with red. "Not even tiny expensive preschool uniforms at fictional elitist institutions that Mama had to work two jobs to pay for!"
"Because our son's future is important to us." Regina says through gritted teeth. "That second randomized job by the way was, Voice Over Actress. She got that job in our third year of marriage, two years after that I was elected Mayor, the youngest in town history." Regina declares with more pride than necessary when one is talking about a fictional accomplishment. "A while later Emma quit her two jobs to be the Sheriff and the-"
"Wait! Wait, hold on we're getting ahead of ourselves." Emma interrupts.
"For Olympus' sake, what now?" Regina sighs, "I just want to be done with this!"
Emma shrugs, "Yeah but we haven't even talked about our first date yet."
Regina's eyes roll towards the ceiling, "She took me to Mini Golf, we ate artery destroying meat covered in bacon on a stick. Then this idiot got us banned for the rest of the year because the giant animatronic clown was 'mocking' her." Regina announces in haste. "So romantic."
Emma chuckles, "Umm, babe?"
"What?" Regina asks, seriously done. She doesn't even care about getting an A anymore.
"Not our first date... I meant the fake first date for the project." Emma responds gently.
Regina's eyes widen, "Oh..."