Author's Note: This story had been pushing at the back on my mind to be written so I figured I'd finally put it down on paper. After all the lovely support of my last Durarara fic Don't Jump, I thought I'd give this an actual shot. If you haven't read it yet you should. I'm thinking about writing at least a second chapter to it with all the requests for one but I'm unsure if I'm going to or not. So until then I present you with this. The more reviews I receive the faster I will try and get this written. I hope you all enjoy.
Edit: I went back through and have edited this chapter and will continue to do so with the rest of this story. I added things here and there but for the most part it is the same. Hopefully I've caught most of the errors that it contained but if not feel free to let me know.
Children are meant to play outside in the warm summer heat without a care in the world. Their innocence protected behind imaginary walls from events their minds would have trouble comprehending. The same went for a young raven haired boy who's imagination had lead him to his own fantasy world. He was outgoing and highly enjoyed playing in his make believe castle with the neighbor kids. He had no idea how soon those walls would be torn down to expose him to the real world.
An uncle, the young boy hadn't yet met, moved in with the family. At first he was happy to meet someone new as most children did, but that quickly changed. The uncle was a horrid man, a thief who would take the young boy with him when he needed to get into small confided spaces or needed some sort of distraction. The boy knew what his uncle did was wrong but any time he spoke up about it or refused to go along with what the older man said he would be punished for being a bad boy. The punishments usually consisted of the older man beating his nephew, but within a week of being dragged into criminal affairs the boy's innocence was completely stripped from him. His uncle was a sick twisted man who became far more interested in his nephew than he should have.
As the years slowly passed, the boy would retreat into his mind during times spent with his uncle and forced himself to lock away those memories in a vault in the back of his mind. He eventually withdrew into himself, preferring to stick to himself and just watch the world progress around him. His parents grew worried about the change in behavior but any time they asked about it the boy wouldn't tell them anything. He feared telling them the truth after seeing the glances his uncle gave him each time his parents asked about the topic.
When his twin sisters were born, the boy did whatever his uncle asked so the man would stay way from them. The boy didn't want them to end up in the same situation as he was. He wouldn't even wish that kind of life upon his worst enemy. The sense of freedom the girls had as they grew older was something the boy envied after having felt like a caged animal ready to be used or beaten at any time. Even so, the boy cared highly about the two girls and wished to protect them from the cruelty of the world. What he wasn't expecting was how intelligent they were at such a young age. It was one of the few things the siblings all had in common.
He had come home from school one day to find a police car parked in his driveway. When he entered the house two police officers had his uncle handcuffed and pushed roughly down into the carpet of the floor. As soon as his mother laid eyes on him she rushed over and embraced him tightly against her with soft apologizes murmured through sobs that she could no longer contain. When he admitted to the officer what his uncle had done, they locked the man away behind bars. It turned out that his wonderful sisters had informed their mother of what had been going on with a video that they had taken of various events containing the boy and the uncle. The boy was extremely thankful for it all but nothing could change the past years of his life.
His parents had sent him to a therapist, even though it didn't seem to help the boy. Instead he had a habit of lashing out at her. He didn't want the stranger's help since the therapist only wanted his family's money. Knowing this, he took the opportunity to irritate her every time they had a session. As the years went by and he grew older the tricks he'd pull progressively worsened. He had discovered various was to gather information and use it to his advantage in a conversation. It began his fascination of watching others and how they reacted in different situations.
Everything had been fine until one of the secrets he had leaked caused her therapist to kill herself. He hadn't expected such a reaction and it made guilt wash over him. It was his fault someone was dead and he was sure he ruined many other lives out of amusement as well. It was all too much for the teenager to handle. He couldn't tell his family the truth and watching his family work on finding another stable therapist to speak with was far too much for him to handle. He packed a bag and left home in the middle of the night. He walked as far as he could while keeping to the shadows to avoid any policemen and be sent back home. At that time it was easier for him to run away than deal with everything, something that would stick with him through the years.
In an alleyway the raven haired teenager slid down the wall and sat on the cold concrete ground. For the first time since he could actually remember, he cried. They were silent tears but they poured out, as if all that had built up over years became a dam that finally crumbled to pieces. Everything seemed to flood his mind all at once; each and every memory he had fought so hard to forget. It all played out in front of him as if his past was some form of silent film. With the weight of recent events he was unsure how to proceed further. He couldn't stay here forever, it wasn't fair to his family what he put them through with all of his problems. The city held too many bad memories for the young boy to continue to handle without having another breakdown. For that night, however, he'd remain where he was; sleeping next to a dumpster.
When he awoke the boy was startled to see a group of larger boys standing over him. They moved back slightly, allowing him enough room to stand up. Shortly after he had gotten to his feet he felt his back collide roughly with the brick wall.
"We don't take kindly to others in our territory. I say we teach this punk a lesson." The largest of the group of boys spoke as he pressed a switchblade against the raven's cheek, leaving a small trail of blood dripping down her cheek. A long crazed laugh left the raven as he stood there and saw a few drops of blood splatter on his shirt.
"This guy has a screw loose," Another boy spoke as the laughter continued.
Shortly after those words were spoken, the raven took his own blade from his pocket and slashed the boy's hand that held the switchblade, causing it to fall to the ground. The raven held his blade pointed towards the group with a sinister smirk upon his lips.
"Never attack someone who has nothing to lose. Mostly one who knows their way around a blade."
The others were still staring in shock at how fast he moved. It didn't take long for them to run off, not bothering to look back. A sigh left the raven as he placed his blade away. He shouldered his bag and began the dreaded walk home. His parents would be worried when they discovered his bed empty. The sight he saw when he walked towards his house was not something he had been expecting. A police car was once again parked in his driveway and as soon as he opened the door he was swarmed by his family.
"Oh my God Izaya! Where have you been? We've been so worried! What happened to you?" His mother asked as she tilted his face so she could look at the cut along her son's cheek.
"I needed a walk," was all he said as a reply. He really didn't want to tell his mother the whole story. His mother would have freaked out even further and that wasn't something he wanted to deal with at that moment. It didn't matter though, because as soon as his mother's eyes turned to his bag he flinched at the intense gaze.
"Were you...going to run away?" His mother practically sobbed. He avoided her gaze and stared down at the floor, guilt suffocating him. He hadn't though much about anything before he had left and now once again regretted his actions.
"Why Nii-san?" One of his sister's asked.
He couldn't look at any of them, even the officer as he excused himself. It was all too much and it took all his energy to remain standing. He couldn't handle all of their worried and confused gazes. All the pain he had been through he now seemed to be directing towards others, with his own family being on that list now. The guilt of all things he had done and the disappointment he felt every time he looked at his mother was overwhelming. She'd never be able to help her son after what her own brother had done to him, no one would. He was broken and would be for the rest of his miserable life.
Not long after that incident, his parents thought moving into a new environment would help, so the Orihara family moved to Ikebukuro. Izaya had been relieved at the move. It would be a fresh start that he desperately needed. He could be whoever he wanted in a city that his classmates didn't pity him or whisper about his life in the hallways. This way he could run away from all that while still having his family with him.
It didn't take him long to make a friend with s strange kid, Shinra Kishitani. He was an alright guy, just said and did some weird things. Izaya knew that almost as soon as he met the other boy that he'd follow in his father's footsteps to become a doctor. It was rather obvious with all of the knowledge he had already acquired about medicine and the human anatomy. Shinra was practically his opposite, which to him was a rather nice change. He was interesting and never asked about Izaya's past, allowing the raven to tell him if and when he wanted to. That alone was the best thing he could have asked for. Shinra had become his first and only true friend but that was perfectly okay with him. Izaya didn't have to try and be someone else around him and that was all he could have ever asked for out of a friend.
Even with the move and making an actually friend, Izaya couldn't help but continue his hobby of people watching, mostly with all the drama it entitled in his new home. He got a kick out of most of it and would ramble on about it to the doctor in training. It was then that his only friend gave him the unintentional push to pursue his hobby as a career, to gather information and leak it for a bit of cash here and there. He had never thought about it, even if Shinra had just been joking at the time.
When they both entered high school his life had changed once again. He had grown quite a bit and had become quite a handsome young man. His raven locks longer now with crimson eyes radiating mischief and intelligence far beyond his years. Instead of the lanky frail thing he used to be, Izaya now had a fair amount of muscle built up from one of his other hobbies. He became quite the looker, but with that came all the attention he would gather from his classmates, female and male alike. He had found it rather amusing but didn't think much of it otherwise. He became a bit of a heart breaker and used those attractions for his own benefit and amusement.
One day Shinra told the raven that he wanted him to meet after school down at the football field. There was a friend of his that he wanted Izaya to meet. What he hadn't been expecting was the beautiful blonde that he had heard many rumors about but never actually saw. He almost thought that the guy was some kind of myth with the way everyone seemed to speak of him but he never saw a trace of the blonde or what he had supposedly done. Izaya would never have believed those rumors until he witnessed the display in front of him. There standing on the football field was, who he could only assume was, the blonde he heard so much about. All around the other boy was about half the football team laid out on the field in various levels of consciousness, while one of the goals were flipped over on top of a bench. Izaya was so intrigued that he couldn't help but clap. If he had that kind of strength his past would have been a different than it had been, maybe even far more pleasant.
"You sure know how to make a scene Shizuo," Shinra called over to the blonde, gaining his attention. There was just a huff of a reply as the blonde made his way over to where Shinra was standing and Izaya was sitting.
"You took too long," the blonde finally said, his voice nearly enough alone to send a chill of pleasure down Izaya's spine.
"Well I would have been here sooner if I didn't have to wait for this slow poke over here," Shinra laughed and pointed toward the raven, causing Shizuo to finally look over in his direction. "This is the person I was talking about. Meet Izaya Orihara, he's not exactly a good guy but-"
"I'm truly hurt, I thought we were friends," Izaya cut off his friend in a teasing manner and nudged Shinra with his elbow from where he sat.
"Ow! I don't know, you're a mean guy."
"That's never stopped you from pestering your way into my life before."
"You piss me off," Shizuo spoke as he glared at Izaya. That wasn't something that he had expected.
"Shizuo," Shinra began to defend before he was cut off again.
"That's too bad, I think we could have been fast friends," Izaya told him with a small smirk on his face. He hadn't done anything to warrant the reaction but saw no way to really change the blonde's mind, nor did he care enough to do so. He wasn't going to act a certain way just so some guy would want to be his friend; although, he was definitely disappointed.
He saw the muscle in the blonde's arm twitch before Shizuo launched himself at him, swinging a fist that Izaya was sure the blonde expected to make contact with flesh. Since Izaya had seen it coming he had moved out of the way with ease before slicing a cut against the blonde's chest. This would mark the beginning of their long game of cat and mouse. He would set out to harass the monster of Ikebukuro, never enough to get him killed or locked up for good, even if the words he spoke often said otherwise. He did just enough to get a reaction out of the other. Izaya found Shizuo Heiwajima fascinating and wanted to keep him around. There was a lot about the blonde that he didn't know and was so unpredictable that Izaya just couldn't keep himself away.
They often got into trouble at school, which Izaya actually tried to avoid. He didn't like the looks and talks he received from his parents when they school would call them. There was no way he could explain to them what happened between Shizuo and himself. Hell, he couldn't come up with an explanation himself. He was never sure what made the blonde hate him so much. It was one of the few things he figured he'd never know.
During one of their chases through the streets a truck had come speeding along and had hit Shizuo, who hadn't been paying attention. Izaya's heart nearly stopped. He hadn't actually planned for that to happen no matter how much it appeared otherwise, mostly when he made it across the street without any problems. He nearly rushed to the blonde's side but once he began to move, Izaya had thought better of it. He was surprised how quickly the blonde got to his feet. It was almost like he was invincible, a quality the raven wished he possessed.
When he had gone home that night he was met with his parents' worried faces. They remained silent until the whole family sat within the living room. "What's going on?" Izaya had asked, not sure if he actually wanted to know the answer.
"Honey," His mother began and the tone of voice made Izaya positive he was not going to like what was said next. "We received a phone call earlier from the Penitentiary."
Before his mother even continued, the raven could feel fear begin to constrict his chest as his heart beat furiously against his rib cage. "Izaya, your uncle escaped earlier this afternoon and they haven't caught him yet." His father had spoken the words that he had been dreading. It almost felt like he had been suffocating as panic overwhelmed him and his thoughts ran wild. Would the man come looking for him? His face grew pale at the though. He had started his life over without having to think about that man, believing he would spend the rest of his life behind bars for all of his crimes.
"I-I'm going to go to b-bed." Izaya told his parents as he stood up, not wanting to sit down in the living room any longer. He noticed the worried expressions of his parents before he went up the stairs and to his room.
As his thoughts continued to smother him, he curled into himself and pulled his blanket tightly to his chest. He stared out the window as headlights lit up his room before the shadows moving along his wall returned to darkness once more. That night no sleep came to him.
Days went by slowly for the raven, whom now looked over his shoulder every time he was alone. He tried to stay with someone he knew, out of fear, any time he was not within his own home. Dark rings had formed under his eyes from the restless nights and his skin had become ashen compared to his usual ivory skin. He looked as terrible as he felt but he had grown more aware of his surroundings as he kept a facade that he was fine. He had even refrained from bother Shizuo. That alerted Shinra that there had definitely been something wrong with his friend. Izaya wouldn't talk about it though. He never wanted his new life to come in contact with his past and explaining such to Shinra would allow the two parts of his life to collide. Besides, he didn't want his only friend to know about his past, and to his relief, Shinra never pushed it. He said he'd be there if Izaya ever wanted to talk about it and left the topic at that.
Izaya had begun to walk home when Shizuo finally approached him, sending the duo into another chase. The raven hadn't expected to be forcefully into an alleyway and thrust harshly against the hard brick well as he had been running. When he caught his breath and looked into the angry eyes of his uncle, he felt the world dissolve beneath his feet and all around him. He could barely hear Shizuo's shouts echoing through the city any more.
"It's been a long time," A hand brushed his face. It took all his control to keep his bile down in that moment. "I've been watching you run around with that blonde boy. You should no better than that." A hard slap connected with Izaya's cheek. "You know I don't like to share."
"Fuck you," Izaya spat, earning him a knee to the gut.
"Such a dirty mouth. Did you get that from blondie? Or maybe it was that nerd with glasses?" Izaya growled at this. No one was allowed to insult a friend of his and he was the only one allowed to speak about Shizuo in such a tone, mostly since he never had with such malice.
"It's none of your damn business! Go fuck yourself!"
"Done plenty of that. Thought I'd have some fun with you like old times. I think it'll be more fun now that you've grown into such a handsome young man." With that said he felt a hand grope him and he felt completely sick. He thought this was all over with, that he wouldn't have to deal with it anymore.
"Please...stop," He pleaded in a whimper as he felt his eyes tear up. A sickening laugh and a cold hand roaming up his shirt was his only response to his plea. He didn't like the creeping feeling that his uncle's hand left on his skin, as if every cell in his body was trying to flee from the larger man.
Izaya was completely frozen in fear, unable to move or defend himself as he stood trapped by the one thing he had feared most in the world. He'd have to relive his worst memories and nightmares all over again. A pained whimper left his lips as he felt that hand that had been groping him only seconds earlier, slip down the front of his pants and continue the same movements that made the raven cower into himself. When he heard the sound of a belt buckle being undone he knew there was no stopping what was to come.
What he hadn't been expecting was that an angry blonde would find him in that moment. "Get off him!" Shizuo shouted.
The distraction gave Izaya enough time and courage to pull out his switchblade and force it into the chest in front of him. He didn't even notice the surprised expression on his uncle's face as he knocked the man to the ground and repeatedly forced his blade down. The raven didn't stop until Shizuo pulled him and and towards his chest. Izaya was once again frozen, letting out tears he hadn't realized started to spill and mix with the blood that had splattered on his face. He just stood there as Shizuo held him and called the police. His uncle was dead and he was not charged with murder due to it being self defense, the police being well aware about his uncle's background and the situation.
This was the second person who was dead thanks to him, no matter if this one had deserved it. With his own hands and blade he had ended someone's life. Not only that, now someone other than family knew about his past and it just had to have been Shizuo.
His whole body started to shake as he stared down at his blood covered hands with an empty expression. He hadn't even noticed Shizuo moving away from him to speak with one of the police officers. Izaya only looked away from his hands when his uncle's body was placed in a body bag and wheeled away. He could barely comprehend when his parents finally showed up or the questions that were directed at him. Somehow, he managed to answer enough of them for the police to allow him to return home.
Izaya couldn't remember the last time he had taken such a long shower or scrubbed his skin as roughly as he had that night. All Izaya wanted was to forget that day had even happened but that wouldn't ever happen. It would be placed with all of his other memories he desperately tried to forget.
The next several weeks up until graduation, Shizuo had tried to speak with Izaya about the incident. The officers had, to the the raven's frantic protests, explained the situation with his uncle to the blonde. Izaya did not want to speak of it and would in turn change the subject, resulting in their usual tension. He could tell Shizuo started to hold back on their usual escapades but he didn't care. Their game grew to resemble more of an act, one that they were just going through the motions with. It was no longer real but even so they were almost always the highlight of Izaya's day. Something to remind him that he was in fact still alive and not the dull lifeless being he felt like he was some days.
Once Izaya moved to Shinjuku, he took some time to himself. He became an official Information Broker, selling information to anyone willing to pay a hefty price for it. He was good at what he did, the best in area, maybe even in all of Japan. Watching and studying others since he was young had actually paid off. He had his ways of gathering information and knowing nearly everything about everyone in Shinjuku and Ikebukuro made him a rather dangerous man. His skills with a blade and parkour were an added bonus. His ability to stand back up, let alone run away, after having rather large objects thrown at him by Shizuo Heiwajima aback in the day added to the list of reasons why people never crossed him.
When he returned to his beloved city he was greeted shortly by his only friend Shinra and the love of his life Celty, whom Izaya was rather fascinated with since the two had been introduced. Ikebukuro had seemed to be the center of bizarre things. There was never a dull moment, even if Izaya had instigated some of the drama. He loved the city, but it also stirred up unwanted memories. At least he was there with a friend. Stepping foot back there for the first time in several years by himself would have been a whole different story.
What he hadn't expected, having been planning just to visit Shinra, was the sight of Shizuo. It had only been a few years but he could still remember the expression that had crossed the face of his so called "enemy" when he had learned Izaya's darkest secret. Not knowing what to do after seeing the surprise on the blonde's face, Izaya did the only thing he could think of; he ran. Even with the sound of his name being called out to him, he never stopped. He couldn't deal with it at that moment and until the raven was positive he had lost Shizuo he kept running. He would have to call and apologize to Shinra later.
When he finally did stop, he felt his stomach twist tightly at where he found himself. Blood still stained the pavement as a cruel reminder of what he had done. All the guilt from his past rushed his mind at once. It all was too much, bringing the informant to his knees. No matter how hard he tried or how fast he ran he would never be able to escape his past. It would forever haunt him and now matter how hard he tried there was no escaping it. He would always feel the disgust and disappointment with himself when he looked into a mirror every day. Nothing would ever change that and it was the burden he would be forced to bare until the day he died.