81. I will not steal books from Armin

Death ensued.

82. Nor steal anything from him period

Even more death.

83. I will not let Hanji learn about the Internet.


84. I will not anyone of the 104th squad have a dog.

Levi trained his to bring him vodka, Eren gave his to Mikasa when he saw his own dog doing things to hers, Armin trained his dog like any normal person would, and the rest just gave the dogs back to the nice man.

85. Nor a cat

The Cats were quickly returned to the old lady after a dog tried to eat, then hump one of them.

86. Nor a fish

The fish was given to Eren, because, as Levi put it "You can't kill something that is as smart as you". The fish died within the week.

87. Or anything in general -even a rock

Connie just ended up hitting his head on said rock.

88. I will not host a free buffet to the survey corps

Sasha happened. Hanji was reinstated as therapist because she was the only one who WASN'T crying in their rooms.

89. I will not compare anybody to Spider-Man

"Hey Connie?" Armin asked. "Yeah?" Connie responded. "I just realized that we are like Steampunk Spider-Men" Armin said. "The fuck are you talking about Armin?!" Connie exclaimed.

90. I will not have Connie sneaked into the Corporals home

Tortured screams were heard for miles.

91. I will not have Eren read Mikasa's diary

He stopped after the 17th fantasy of her raping him.

92. I will not have Eren read any of Armin's ... adult books either

Even More Screams.

93. I will not fill Armin's or Jean's room with Custard.

CUSTARD EVERYWHERE! IT WAS EVERYWHERE! No one noticed the man with an accent and a coat appear, dip a fish stick into the custard then disappear in his blue box.

94. I will not inform Mikasa that Eren got taken from the Military Police

The Military Police never stood a chance. She was found cuddling a horrified Eren. Covered in blood.

95. I will not inform Ymir that Historia was suddenly missing

Histora had to be brought out when Ymir pulled out a gun.

96. I will not have Sasha use her bow when drunk

Surprisingly enough, she didn't miss. Or Kill anyone.

97. I will not let Erwin know of the existence of nuclear weapons

Annnd, the maniacal grin is back.

98. I will not have a prank war with Armin

Eren woke up with all of his limbs regenerating.

99. I will not have Armin research his family tree

He smiled, walked up to Erwin and promptly punched him in the face for giving him up for adoption.

100. I will not leave Levi in a ditch.

His yells of "HELP ME, I'VE FALLEN AND I CAN'T GET UP" echoed even more than the screams of Mikasa.

101. I will not let Jean insult a horse

"I can't insult my own kind!"

Annnnnd thats it! Done, finally! I've thought of a fun fic so that should be posted within the next three weeks or so.


102. I will not have Hanji teach Sex Ed to the girls.

"Okay, the first time can, and probably will suck. Horribly, unless you are with a partner who is kind and loving. But fuck that! It hurts like a bitch and you will probably bleed alot too!" as Hanji continued to ramble on. Ymir and Historia swore eternal celibacy that night. Fortunately, they were already F- *Author gets hit with a brick and passes out* "Now that He is out of the way, I can finally take over" Armin muttered, another brick ready in his hands.