What Makes Green Eggs And Ham, Green?


I don't currently have a summary for this story as I am kind of writing it as I go along. Sorry if you find this annoying but you can, you know, kiss my [insert approriate word here].


I do not nor ever have claimed the rights to any Disney-afflicted character. Nor have I tried in anyway to fix any sporting event or competition. And the stories about me trying to build 'Popeland'© on the Vatican had no foundation in truth. The same goes for that thing involving me, a cow, some peanuts (unsalted), a McDonalds's golden arc and a blowtorch. And the less said about the whole swimming pool incident in that hotel in Berlin the better. As for the reports about me possessing a surreal sense of humour are quite obviously false.  

At The Beginning Of Every Story There Lies The Legendary Chapter One. 

It was your typical school day for Alexander Harris. He had spent much of it either looking out of the window or looking at Buffy. He didn't know if she could tell that he was looking at her, if she did she never said anything about it. At that moment a loud ringing sound bought Xander back into reality and he realised he had been staring at her again. Luckily that was the last class of the day. He could forget about trigonometry for another day. He could never understand why they taught such subjects at school, it is not like he is ever going to need trigonometry in his future life. His future life. He didn't have a clue about what was going to be. Suddenly a wave of fear came over him, what was he going to do? What sort of life would be lead? He wouldn't have the grades for college and he didn't have a career lined up. When he looked into the horizon of the future he saw nothing, just a blank space. But he put these thoughts out of his mind as he entered the school library. Undoubtedly there would be a new big bad evil in town and he could focus on that and hopefully these doubts would stop plaguing him, at least for a while. Now I don't want you to get the impression that he hoped for some sort of evil that could threaten the world. He didn't. It was just that if one happened to show up he was more than glad that they got to stop it. Well most of the time anyway.

Xander walked into the library as usual and the usual gang of people were sitting or standing around. Willow and Oz were sitting reading a book that Xander could only guess was about demons. Buffy was training and Giles was, well, taking the brunt of that training. Cordelia was standing by the counter reading some sort of fashion magazine; he never could understand why women read those magazines. The only advantage they have from his point of view was the fact that they contained pictures of semi-clad beautiful women and he didn't think that particularly interested most women. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. There was no frantic searching through books looking for the latest evil demon from hell intent of bringing a plague upon the world, or another equally devilish plot to generally bring about misery. Well, you can't win everything. Just to make sure Xander asked, "No big bad evil demon thing this week?"

"No, we are evil demon free." Willow replied just briefing looking up from her book.

"Where have you been?" Asked Cordelia. "You were supposed to go shopping with me so we could get you less-dorky clothes."

That brought a smile from Buffy, who had stopped training since she landed a particularly powerful blow on Giles's glove which had made him yelp out in pain.

"Yes honey I know but there was something called school. And as much as I love shopping with you I really wanted to learn about trigonometry." Said Xander.

"If you didn't want to go you should have just said." Said Cordelia.

"I don't want to go." Said Xander.

"Well how do you like that." Said Cordelia in her usual way when Xander did something she didn't like. "I try to give you a little bit of class and what do I get?"

"A cookie?" Answered Buffy. This time it was Xander who smiled.

Cordelia carried oblivious to Buffy's comment. "No thank you Cordelia, no that was nice of you, no nothing. Well, that's it I am not helping you buy anymore clothes ever!"

"There is no need to be so dramatic." Said Xander trying to get back on Cordy's good side. "I'll come shopping with you tomorrow. You can buy me all the trendy crap you want. Hell I'll even treat you to a beauty makeover thing you like so much."

"I can get you anything?" Said Cordy.

"Yes." Said Xander.

"Even one of those shirts that you hate?" Asked Cordy

"Especially one of those shirts." Replied Xander.

Cordy gave Xander a smile to indicate that she had forgiven him. They then proceeded to have a little make-up kissing.

End of chapter one, please turn over the tape for chapter two.