Babes don't understand the real meaning of suffering to be beautiful

I remember the first time I went to get a haircut after mother died

My hair was all tangled from being by myself, so the stylist tried to brush it

And the brush got stuck in it

And the stylist kept thinking the hairs would break off that wouldn't comb through, except they never broke off

And I got pulled right out of the chair

on the floor

dragged around the room

All at the end of a hairbrush which I was experiencing for the first time on my head instead of my bottom in days

Not that the spanking thing ever got me down

Up was the only direction from there

And a good thing I hadn't hit puberty yet, or there really would have been hell to pay

Being thrown over some sexy babe's knee is great because you can rub against her sexy bits and stare at her ass at the same time

Babes get really pissy when you mess up their unmentionables

Not that I ever needed to mention them

They just naturally disappeared in my path

Demonic joy juice is corrosive like that

Getting back to the hairs thing

Eventually, I got wise and started going to the hospital for my haircuts

They use plastic surgery lasers to sever the hairs individually -- which is why I wear my hair so long