Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Zip. Nada.
A/N: So I don't really know how recent this is at all but I stumbled across nlblake's bio on here and apparently someone left a god awful flame on someone's fic about Harry and Bruce. So in retaliation, nlblake made a prompt to combat that flame and I've decided to take the prompt and write this story. Personally, I love Harry Potter/Avengers crossovers and I don't think there are enough out there. So here's my take on the prompt that was given.
Prompt: It has to be a HP/Avengers Crossover. It has to be slash. Hulk has a mate. HP is homosexual. Preferably the pairing should be Hulk/Harry but feel free to be creative. And post on ffnet, since this is where the review came from.
"Woah there buddy! I love science as much as you do, big green, but you look like you died and came back. And trust me I know all about that, with the portal and everything. You know, that's just me, Tony Stark, the sexy, selfless billionaire."
Bruce looked up with red shot eyes as Tony sauntered into the lab. The smell of coffee followed in with the billionaire's arrival and Bruce's mouth started to water. It was the third night up for the resident gamma radiation expert. A few bathroom and food breaks here and there but Bruce had yet to have a decent cup of coffee. He followed the steaming cup Tony held in his hands with his eyes and swallowed reflexively when Tony set it near him. He reached out slowly to grab the cup but Tony's arm shot out and slapped his hand away.
"Hey! No, no, that's MY coffee, it's not for you, jolly green. No, but seriously, you've been down here for three days. I think I've seen you a total of ten minutes outside of this lab. What's made you go Stark mad?" (Pun intended.)
"I-…" Bruce tried to explain but he just sighed and rubbed his scraggly face with his hands. Three days of no sleeping, showering, or shaving had taken its toll on his chin. He scratched at his beard in irritation and looked up at Tony with determination.
"Something happened. I mean, with the other guy."
Tony looked at him with a blank face.
"Something happened? Something happened with big green and mean?"
"I don't know what it was. I was just out the other day getting a coffee because Clint forgot to grab me one and when the waiter gave me my cup, the other guy did something."
"Bruce, you're not making any sense. What'd the green giant do?"
"He…stopped? Stopped what?"
"Pushing. He stopped pushing, Tony. Every day, he's there, pushing against me, trying to get out but that day… he just stopped."
"So… is jolly green not there anymore?"
"What? No. He's there. He's pushing now but it's not the same. It's like, before he was pushing with anger but now… he's pushing with want. I don't know."
Tony stared at Bruce with narrowed eyes. Bruce watched as Tony's eyes lit up with anticipation and excitement and felt trepidation grab his chest. Tony's ideas were not always his favorite.
"Tony, whatever you're thinking-"
"Nope! Not thinking, already thought! Go take a shower Bruce, we got places to be, jolly greens to appease!"
Tony grabbed Bruce and pushed him towards the lab entrance. Bruce felt hesitant with any ideas Tony might have come up with but he was all out of his own. He just rode the elevator up to his room and followed Tony's order of showering. He'd rather have slept first but when Tony had ideas, they had to be done quickly. Tony never had learned the virtue of patience.
He got dressed in his purple button down dress shirt and loose tan pants and made his way into the towers lobby. Tony was bouncing with excited energy as he caught sight of a clean shaven Bruce. He hopped over to the scientist and manhandled him out of the tower and into a limo.
"Happy, go to that coffee shop, you know, the one Bruce went to that one time."
"Of course, Mr. Stark, sir."
Bruce sat in confusion as Happy drove them to the coffee shop that the other guy first had his 'something' incident. It wasn't a particularly popular shop. One of those small business stores that occupied pretty much all of New York. It sold decent coffee and some decent pastries but nothing about it screamed Hulk Tamer. But Tony seemed to see significance to the shop and the 'something' incident so Bruce just followed his lead.
A bell chimed has they opened the door and a rush of coffee aroma breezed past them. The place was empty of current customers and the coffee baristas and waiters were lounging around the counter with nothing to do. They all jumped up when the bell sounded and Bruce and Tony were bombarded with fake smiles and cheer.
"Hi! How can I help you today?"
The young girl in charge of the cash register called out to them with forced excitement but then gaped as Tony swaggered his way to the counter.
"Hello. I'd like coffee, just black, thanks. OH! And Bruce wants a cup too but better put a dash of sugar or something in it, don't want him to drink bitter coffee, trust me."
Bruce just rolled his eyes at Tony and politely told the girl to put a dash of both sugar and creamer into his.
"Okay, Brucey. I had an idea. A brilliant, if I do say so myself, idea. You said pushing with want right? Well, of course you did. Well, being the genius that I am, I've deduced that the thing the jolly green giant wants is here. Cause it happened here. We just need to find the thing."
Bruce looked at Tony blankly.
"You think the other guy wants something… something from this coffee shop?"
Tony beamed at him in what he thought was approval. Bruce sighed in annoyance but looked around the shop to see if anything could have affected the other guy in any way. He was just about to walk over to the other side of the shop when the bell above the door chimed. He looked over that the would-be customer and paused. He found the thing. Well, the person. The other guy stopped pushing for a second as Bruce took a good look that the person that just walked in. It was the waiter. A man about the height of his shoulder, with jet black hair that looked like it could house a nest of rats, and the brightest green eyes he had ever seen. As soon as Bruce locked eyes with the stranger, the other guy started to pound against his control. He doubled over in panic and started to pant.
"Woah! Bruce? Bruce! What's happening? Is it Hulk?"
Tony started to rapidly throw questions at him and he just tried to breath. He looked up in confusion when he felt a light touch on his shoulders. His eyes met green again and the other guy stopped pushing again. He relaxed a little and stood up straight. The stranger was looking at him with a weird look in his eyes and Bruce tried not to squirm under the intense gaze.
Bruce blushed in embarrassment when his greeting came out in a shaky whisper. The stranger looked at him more intensely, and then started to smile.
"Never thought I would meet you here, in America I mean. Always thought you would be an England native. Bloody idiotic thought honestly."
The stranger's words came out in a distinct accent and he stared at him before he registered what it was exactly that the stranger said.
"Sorry, this must be confusing. Never thought my mate would be a muggle. You guys have a place that's a bit more private? Got lots of explaining to do. Oh, my names Harry, by the way."
"Uh, Bruce, and that's Tony. We can go to the tower to talk, I guess. Tony?"
"Hm, yeah, tower sounds nice. Private. You know what, yeah let's go to the tower and talk."
Tony seemed as flustered as Bruce felt and he grew slightly reassured with that. The stranger, Harry, smiled at them and started to walk out the door. Bruce and Tony followed him and showed him to the limo. Tony seemed to find himself since leaving the coffee shop and was giving Harry a calculating look. Harry just looked out the window in amusement and ignored Tony's stare. Bruce was lost in his thoughts on what was happening and just followed Tony and Harry into the tower when they arrived.
They settled into the main common room that the team used for movie night and just stared at each other. Finally, Harry clapped and both Bruce and Tony jumped in surprise.
"So let's get to explaining shall we? I'm Harry, just Harry, for now, and I believe I got some answers for you."
"Yeah, Harry, let's start with the mojo."
Tony gave Harry an impatient look and waved his hands around Harry's body.
"The Hulk mojo. You tamed jolly green, how? And what did you mean by muggle? What's a muggle? And mate? I'm confused and be awestruck because Tony Stark is rarely confused."
Harry gave Tony a strange look and turned his head to look at Bruce instead. He gave him a once over and nodded in appreciation. Bruce blushed under the scrutiny and bowed his head but continued to look at Harry from under his eyelashes.
"Hm, I don't know what you mean by Hulk mojo but a muggle is someone that's non-magical. And mates are mates. You know like soulmates I guess. But that sounds kinda cliché out loud, huh? I really don't want to explain the wizarding world to you right now because that would be an explanation that would last days. So let's leave it at magic is real and I'll prove it to you later."
Harry gave both Bruce and Tony a hopeful look and waited to see how they would react. Tony opened his mouth to, no doubt, start a rant but Bruce cut him off before he could get started.
"Okay, we can wait for that explanation but what do you mean soulmate?"
"Well, wizards and witches have the ability to find their destined match. We can live without them but when we meet our match, a sort of connection starts. We can feel it, I guess. It's a bit hard to explain, my magic basically told me, in a way, that you're my match. We don't have to be together, we can both live without each other but we'll never be as happy as we could be unless we were together, if that makes sense?"
"So, what? Fate made you and Bruce 'soulmates'? Happily ever after?"
"I mean, I guess so. Usually one mate is some kind of creature or has a bloodline of a creature. Like veelas, or werewolves. I don't think I'm a creature so I don't really know why my magic connected to you."
Tony looked at Bruce then Harry then Bruce again.
"Does jolly green count as a 'creature'? And werewolves seriously?"
"Yeah, werewolves, seriously. Like I said, I'll explain everything later but what do mean jolly green. Who's that?"
Bruce shifted on the couch uncomfortably.
"Um, the other guy, Hulk, he's jolly green. It was a gamma radiation accident and whenever my heart rate accelerates, he comes out."
"Yep, Brucey here turns into a giant behemoth of green muscle and awesomeness."
Bruce shot Tony a stern look and blew a puff of air out of his mouth in irritation.
Harry blinked in surprise and sat to register what it was he just heard. Bruce hunched his shoulder and back in anticipation of Harry's hate and fear.
"You should see my friend Hermione when she finds a book she likes. I think she turns into a giant behemoth of muscle and not so awesomeness."
Bruce looked at Harry with shock. Harry just looked at Bruce with a kind smile and an understanding look in his eyes. Bruce relaxed back against the couch and smiled stupidly. The other guy was, again, not pushing against him but was sitting in the back of his mind, purring with delight.
"So yeah, soulmates and all that jazz, my magic connected to you and I'm gonna go ahead and guess that the Hulk is probably the creature factor in the mateship. Um, I think we covered the basic issues that popped up. So how about it?"
"How about what?! I still don't know what exactly a muggle is, and magic? Seriously?! I need all the variables! Why do people always leave out the important variables!?"
Tony ranted with wild hand gestures but Bruce and Harry ignored him in favor of staring at each other. Harry rose up onto his feet and walked over to the couch Bruce was sitting on.
"So how about it? Dinner with me on Friday?"
Bruce looked up at Harry's form towering over him and smiled. He nodded his consent to the date and Harry beamed back at him.
"Okay then, I'll pick you up here than?"
Bruce nodded as Harry started to back out of the common area. He waved to Bruce and walked over to the elevator with a skip in his steps.
"What?! NO! You can't just leave without giving me answers! Hey! Come back here!"
Bruce just watched as Tony ran after Harry. His lips turned up into a little grin as the elevator closed on Tony's face. He had a feeling things were about to give mighty interesting.