It's all over. Just like that.

No more battles. No more threats. No more running and cowering in fear.

Y'know, I always thought I'd be HAPPY when this day came. Back to the boozin' and the flirtin' and the good life. I was the one who loved life the most and wanted to die the least. I wanted to be here, home, safe, not stuck on some Primus-forsaken prehistoric planet in the middle of a timewarp with a bunch of Preds using my person for target practice. More than Cheetor, who would have fun if it killed him (literally), more than Optimus who would do his duty in any area of the cosmos, more than Silverbolt and Legs who were in no hurry to go to a place that may have been home at some point but was of no relevance now, I wanted to BE here.

And now I'm not so sure.

The open danger's gone, but the kid was jumped in the street by some gang or another just the other day. I mean, Nightscream's a pain in the skidplates at times, but in the end he played a part in saving his world. And what does he get for that? Mugged by a bunch of morons with nothing better to do...plus the Cybertronian military practically demanding that he enlist. And I do mean demanding - that message he got was five centimetres away from being a threat. The kid's a twerp, but not a fool. He's had more than his fair share of fighting. Leave him alone, Cheetor says (CHEETOR! Of all 'bots on the slaggin' planet!), he's got his own life and it doesn't involve fighting any more. I won't repeat what the Council said.

And then there's Spots himself. Utterly lost. All of a sudden, he's the big- shot team leader, and it's a big step from being the kid of the bunch. And he did pretty well at it too. When it mattered. But it doesn't matter now. He doesn't need to be a hero now. Not sure 'bout how that feels - does he WANT the attention, or was the charisma like a drug that gives you a slag of a downer when it wears off? He's certainly shut up over the last coupla weeks. No stupid antics or disgustingly cheerful babble, and no pretentious, overbearing leader talk. Just...quiet. Not that I don't welcome the break, y'understand, I'm not CONCERNED or anything but... Aw slag, I'm not just concerned, I'm worried sick. Haven't heard a peep out of him in days - last words he said to anyone were "Bye," and that was to Her Legginess.

And she's gone.

Nah, she didn't drop dead straight after the Technorganic war, she just...just left. For the other side of Cybertron. She and the Bird-do...I mean, Featherhead, had some kinda bust up. Well, not a bust-up, they just weren't like they were, get what I'm sayin'? There's been no display of love or affection or even interest during the TO War, so I guess it was stupid for us to assume that it would all go away and we'd have our psycho-queen and out dorky knight back. Heh. Fat chance. Ol' Legs is nothin' if not moody. And, between us? I thought she'd put up with more than enough snubbing from someone that, in previous times, would have flown her to the stars. Look at me. Gettin' all sentimental. You'd think Bolt and I had a personality switch, wouldntcha? So they didn't patch it up. Even if they had, I don't think...I mean, was a bit too convenient, wasn't it? "The war's over, so now I love you again" kinda thing. I don't think she could have stood that. She talked to me, you know. Said that maybe she'd been spoiled, having a beau who loved her more than anything, that maybe her expectations were too high. But she just couldn't stand it. Can't say I blame her.

So, she upped and went. I don't care if they say she's "calmed down" or "brightened up," Blackarachnia's still Blackarachnia. She wasn't happy ('fact, she was Primus-damned miserable) and being next to the cause of her problems was not helping. Time to fly the coop. She said she'd be back. She said she wouldn't be away too long but...Well, you know the web-lady...

Silverbolt? Take a wild guess how Silverbolt's feeling. I don't think you'll have to stretch your imagination too far. She didn't even tell him she was goin'. Just left a note - "Gone on a trip. Catch you later." Yeah, I know, he probably deserved that, shootin' himself in the foot, so to speak. But...Bolt's still my pal. Okay, so there's a lot more brooding and a lot less teasing but he's still Silverbolt, just like Blackarachnia's still herself. And I'm not entirely sure if he's gonna be dark and brooding forevermore, I'm pretty confident the annoying knight in shining armour is still there. Somewhere. Under a coupla layers of dust. For now though, he's worse than Cheets. Hasn't moved out of his room. Least Spots is out and about, Flyboy's just sulking. Or yearning. I dunno, ask him if you're willing to chance having your head bitten off. Though I have the sneaking suspicion that he's worried that Blackarachnia WILL come back - only with a new interest in tow. Bit paranoid, our bird-boy, and the sudden development of hundreds of males around instead of ten or so does nothing for his confidence. He should really get counselling for that jealousy thing. Oh, and before you ask? Flirting with other women hasn't crossed his mind. I'm not sure he knows HOW to flirt anyway.

Botanica - anyone who asks about "our" status is making a sharp exit outta that window, alright? We're working on that question. Botanica has discovered the downside of being technorganic. Which is, not only are you prone to malfunctions, short circuits and computer viruses, you're now prone to organic viruses and bacteria. Joy. And now she's in bed...with a bug. No, not Waspinator. Ironic, innit, the scientist laid low by the common cold? Other than that, she's been the best adjusted to "peacetime," since she's pretty used to it. Contracted with one of the labs, she'll be back to work once she's on her feet - er, roots - again. The rest of us dunno what to do yet. We're just waiting for our minds to make themselves up. Military life, scientific work or something not as liable to land us in a state of deja vu? But Sprouts has it all planned. After they've retrieved her crew from whatever planet she left them on, I suppose she'll be off exploring again. Mind you, I hope she doesn't go gallavanting off that quickly. We're already down a teammate...no, we're down two...

I try not to think about Optimus. About him being dead anyway. You keep expecting to hear that oh-so-annoyingly-tolerant voice commanding you to watch monitors, to keep an eye on the base, or to do something so brave it's stupid. But...that wasn't him in the technorganic wars either. I'm not religious. I don't go and worship Primus on a daily basis, and the whole "find your centre" sounded cornier than his old speeches. And I still don't know how I feel about being technorganic. Jury's out on that one. (I DO, however, remember that I have to kick Cheetor's tail for calling be a liability that one time. As soon as I'm sure it's not gonna cause him a nervous breakdown.) But...I miss Optimus. Just don't say anything 'bout it, kay?

And maybe it's not about us at all, as individuals. Maybe it's all about the fact that war wrote out our lives. The fighting, the vigilance, not knowing if you're gonna see tomorrow...you hate it, but it makes your choices for you. Anything and everything is done to survive. Now we're back in reality. And we feel...helpless. There's no excuse to ignore issues like Silverbolt, or to prevent you thinking about who you are, like Cheetor. You wake up and wonder what to do every day. You have to THINK, not just survive. It's not so easy to defend yourself either.. War's simple - someone attacks you, you fight back with everything you've got. Nightscream did that to those idiots that went for him, HE'D be the one hauled up in the court. The rules have changed. We adapted for war, and now we've got to adapt back to normal.

Old pal of mine said "You go looking for excitement, but there'll be a day you'll want the mundane back at any price." Yeah, true. But you forget how boring "mundane" is. I guess we're never really happy.

Look, don't tell anyone 'bout our little chat. They'll think I actually consider these things, and I've got a rep to maintain.