AN: Hey everyone! It's bee a terribly long time since I've last uploaded something, but I took a mental health day today and I spent a good twelve (correction 13 seeing as I just finished the newest episode) hours re-watching Chicago PD. I've been obsessed with this show (which really sucks seeing as I have finals and APs, but whatever) and I'm infatuated with Burzek. I wasn't really attracted to Adam at first, but lately I can't stop looking at him and I love his chemistry and concern for Kim so much. Last week's episode was awesome, and I must admit that I was pretty happy with the outcome of this week's episode Burzek-wise. Don't worry there's no spoilers for 1x13 in this one-shot.
Mainly, this is just a fluffy one-shot between Adam and Kim, although a lot of it is focused on Adam and his thoughts. I admit, it might be OOC but I've had this scenario running through my mind since last week and I just had to get it out before APs and before I exploded.
Hope you all enjoy!
Dedication: To Ivan, who is the only person I can talk about CPD with and who I hope never ever finds this story.
Disclaimer: I own nothing you recognize.
Swear to me, you'll stay the night
Stay close to me, and hold me tight.
For if my dreams put up a fight,
I may not ever find the light.
Adam sighed wearily, running a hand over through his hair before scratching at the scruff which adorned his jawline. He was exhausted and he could feel the weight of the day bearing down on top of him. To say that this was one of the worst days he had since joining the unit would be an understatement. The things that he had seen today, the things he had heard were etched into his memory, echoing and reverberating through him every time he shut his eyes.
The others had left the hospital several hours earlier, drifting away, one-by-one, until it was just Adam left to deal with the memories of the day. Images of splattered blood against the cool city concrete filled his head, and the cries of anguish from the injured and from the families of the injured echoed through him. The city was covered in a coat of ash and blood, and no matter where he looked, that was all that he saw. Even the assault of the antiseptic of the sterile hospital did nothing to wipe his mind clean of the horrors her had witnessed.
He let out a soft groan, feeling his muscles ache and his back crack as he hunched over in his seat, resting his elbow on his knees as he rubbed irritably at his eyes. He was so tired, so incredibly tired and all he wanted was to go home and fall into bed and maybe sleep for the next several days, but he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to leave this place of absolute misery and anguish because he couldn't bear to leave Burgess here by herself.
The mere thought of her sent him into a tizzy, and Adam clenched his hands into fists, straightening up in his seat, as he remembered the absolute fear that had coursed through him that day. For the life of him, he couldn't remember the last time he had been so afraid. It wasn't something he felt often, but he had felt it in full force today and he never wanted to feel it again.
He was a Chicago Police Officer and a member of the Intelligence Unit. He faced down drug dealers and gang leaders, murderers and rapists, terrible people who did terrible things, and he did it every day of his life without hesitation and without fear.
But today… today he felt that fear in full force. Today, he learned what it was like to feel absolutely, positively afraid. He felt it course through his veins, swift and relentless like adrenaline, but without the thrill and excitement that adrenaline brought with it. Instead, all he felt was the chilling of his blood in his veins and the fluttering in his heart that matched the anxiety fluttering in his stomach.
"Burgess was here when it happened, and her niece is in the I.C.U."
Lindsay's words had caused his entire body to go numb, and for a moment, he forgot about everything that was going on around him. He forgot about the bomb that had blasted through the very hospital that he was standing in and the fact that all around him there were people suffering from grievous injuries and that some of them wouldn't make it through the night. All he could think about was the fact that Burgess – Kim – had been there, that she could have been hurt but that she hadn't been.
At least, not physically.
He stood up suddenly, leaving behind his coffee cup which had long since grown cold. He couldn't sit there anymore; he couldn't sit there, thinking about her and everything that could have happened to her. He couldn't think about the fact that she was suffering and there was nothing he could do. She had almost lost her niece today, a nine year old girl who probably still believed in Santa Claus and fairies and happily ever after. Zoe was an innocent girl, a victim of a senseless and ruthless crime, which she should have had no part in. None of them should have been a part of this, and yet here they all were.
Dozens of people had been injured or killed in the blast.
Antonio's sister had been buried under the rubble and suffered a rather nasty head wound.
One of the paramedics from Firehouse 51 had ended up in the hospital with severe blood loss from a gash in her side.
A nine year old had been killed, and her older sister had been the one to convince her parents to let her go.
Zoe, Kim's niece, was lying somewhere in a hospital bed, unconscious still and recovering from her transplant.
And Adam had no doubt in his mind that Kim was hovering over that girl, weary and exhausted but refusing to move from her guard.
He began to pace, unsure of what to do, unsure what he was even still doing there at the hospital. Kim wasn't his wife, she wasn't even his girlfriend. Wendy, Wendy was his fiancé; she was the woman he was going to be marrying in a few short months. He should have been home with her, not pacing outside the room of a nine year old girl whose aunt he was –
Who he was crushing on? Who he was lusting after? Who he was in love with?
He had no idea what he felt about this girl – this woman. All he knew was that from the moment Lindsay had told the unit that Burgess had been there when the bomb went off, he hadn't been able to get her out of his mind. Even as he was chasing down Powell and his accomplices, she had been there in the back of his mind. Flashes of her brilliant green sweater and copper hair filled his thoughts, and he carried the feel of her arms around his neck with him throughout the day.
There had been a brief moment during their embrace, a moment that felt like ages, where he had forgotten about Wendy and the bomb and all the other shit that they were dealing with. There was a brief second in which he could almost believe that what they were – whatever they were – was real.
That moment, of course, passed, but his concern for her – and her niece for that matter – hadn't.
He was attracted to her, that he knew for sure, and it was an incredibly powerful attraction, one that he hadn't felt in years, not even with Wendy. Wendy was wonderful, kind and gorgeous and so incredibly innocent to the horrors of the city. She wasn't cut out for what his life would bring, she wouldn't be able to bear it, and yet he couldn't leave her either. They had been together for so long that he had forgotten what it was like to be without her. He was comfortable, and he had settled into their life, a safe boring life.
But that wasn't the life he wanted. He didn't want a safe, comfortable life where his nights consisted of watching Transformers and drinking beers. He didn't want to settle down, not after he had been exposed to the thrill of Intelligence Unit life. He didn't want to spend his nights wasting away at home, and that's exactly the safe, cookie-cutter future that awaited him with Wendy. And it's not like he could explain this to her. She would never and could never understand what his life was like, and he could never want her to. He could never want her to know just how terrible this world was.
Kim, on the other hand, knew exactly what his life was like. She lived the exact same life. She sacrificed the exact same thing that he did every day, and she, unfortunately, knew the horrors that existed in this devil-ridden city. It was sad but true. What amazed him though was that, even in the face of these horrors and even in the face of all the terrible things she saw and all the danger she was placed in, she still came out of it with a smile. He didn't know how she did it, but it was one thing he would never want to change about her, because seeing that smile on her face at the end of a brutal day, after a day of drug busts and beatings and every other terrible thing they faced, seeing that smile made everything alright again. The fact that she could spend an entire day running from one end of the city to the next, dealing with thieves and kidnappers and gang members, and come out at the end of the day with a smile on her face was amazing. That she could find good in a city corrupted with evil was amazing.
Even after today. Even after the horror she had to endure, and the anxiety and fear that she felt for her niece, even after watching that little girl die, knowing that her death was her niece's salvation, even after all of that, she had still managed to smile amidst her tears. He had seen it, strained and pained, but it was there, and he knew from that small, anguished smile that she would be alright – that they would be alright.
Even after this dark day that Chicago had endured, they would all be alright.
Adam finally stopped pacing. He was standing in the middle of the hallway, stuck in between two rooms. His shoulders slumped with his exhaustion and he could barely keep his eyes opened. He didn't want to leave – he hated to leave – but he knew that if he didn't go and find some place to rest, that he would collapse, and what a way to end this riotous day that would be.
He glanced at his watching, noting that it was well past midnight and he was surprised that Wendy hadn't tried calling him yet. She must have seen the news, and she must have known the kind of day he had just had. Maybe she thought he was staying late to finish up paperwork or maybe she thought he was dead in a ditch somewhere and she just didn't care. Quite frankly, Adam didn't care if she cared.
All he cared about right then in that moment was finding a bed and making sure that Kim would be alright by herself.
The problem was, Adam had no idea where Zoe's room was, and he didn't have the strength in him to search each and every room for the nine year old girl and her gorgeous aunt.
He hated to leave, he really did, but he had a shift in the morning – he had a shift every morning it seemed like – and Olinsky would kick his ass if he even thought about walking into the precinct with less than seven hours of sleep under his belt.
Shoving his hands into the pockets of his coat, Adam began his shuffled walk down the hospital hallway, stepping aside so that doctors and nurses could get past him. He was just nearing the end of the hall when a vivid green caught the corner of his eye and he froze in the middle of the hall, turning to his left. The shades hadn't been drawn and through the clear glass, Adam could see Kim's slumped form.
She was hunched over in a plastic chair next to Zoe's bed. The nine year old was still intubated and her room was filled with countless machines, all of which were beeping and making a ruckus of their own. Adam moved from the window to the doorway. He crossed his arms as he leaned against the frame, surveying Kim's weary form. She was fast asleep, her head resting against the rickety hospital bed, just near her niece's hip. She was holding onto Zoe's hand, and from his position in the doorway, he could see the red, swollen rims of her eyes and the tear tracks etched into her cheeks. She was clutching her cellphone in her other hand, and Adam wondered if she had ever been able to get a hold of her sister or mother.
It was a complete coincidence that he had found her, and the mere sight of her was enough to melt away his weariness. He didn't care if Olinsky kicked his ass tomorrow if it meant that he could spend the night watching over her, making sure she was alright. Perhaps that was weird or even stalker-ish of him, but now that he had her in his sights, he never wanted to let her out of them.
"Excuse me, sir?"
Adam turned, his arms dropping away from his chest. There was a nurse standing behind him, looking up at him expectantly. She was middle-aged and she looked just as weary as everyone else.
"Yeah?" Adam asked, ready to draw out his badge and pull rank if she dared tried to make him leave, because he wouldn't. There was no way he was leaving now that he had found her.
The nurse must have noticed the wariness in Adam's bright brown eyes because she gave him a faint smile.
"If you'd like, I can get a cot brought up here for your wife," she said quietly, glancing inside the room at Kim's sleeping form. "I know just how uncomfortable those seats can be."
"She's not my – " Adam broke off, glancing inside the room himself at Kim's form and thinking that there wasn't much he could do to help her, but he could at least ensure that she had somewhere soft and comfortable to sleep for the night. He turned back to the nurse and nodded. "Yeah, that would be great. Thank you."
The nurse smiled and went off, probably to order the cot to be brought up, and Adam turned his attention back to Kim. He wasn't sure how long he stood there, watching her sleep with a furrowed brow, but at some point, the nurse returned, this time with two material managers in tow, and they quickly and quietly set up a cot in the corner of the room. The first nurse handed him a few blankets and a pillow, whispering a soft 'good night' as she ushered the others out of the room, leaving Adam alone with Kim and Zoe.
He stepped as quietly as he could into the room, shutting the door behind him. The room was lit by the soft glow of a bedside lamp, and Adam made the cot up as quickly and neatly as he possibly could.
He straightened up when he was finished, easing some of the creases out of the blanket before turning back to Kim, who was still fast asleep. It wasn't until that moment that he realized that he had no idea how he was going to get her onto the cot. He didn't want to wake her up, she deserved as much rest as she could get after the day she had had, but he couldn't just leave her in that chair either.
He didn't really think twice as he walked across the room to Kim's seat. He kneeled down next to her, carefully slipping her cellphone from her one hand while extracting her other hand from the clutch she had on Zoe's. She murmured a little in her sleep but didn't wake up as Adam stood up. Leaning over, he slipped one arm under her knees and pulled her upright enough that he could slip his other one around her shoulder. He straightened up, drawing Kim into his arms.
Almost immediately, as though by instinct, Kim burrowed herself into his arms, her face nuzzled up against the soft material of his collared shirt. Adam took small, calculated steps towards the cot where he lowered her carefully onto the fresh sheets.
As he was pulling the blankets over her weary form, he noticed the fluttering of her eyelids, and she opened her eyes after several failed attempts. Her gaze was unfocused and she let out a slight humming noise as she savored the warmth of the cot. When her hazy stare finally landed on his face, she furrowed her brow slightly and made that humming noise again.
"Ruzek?" she said in a sleep-laden voice. "W-What are you doing?"
"Shh," he said softly, drawing the blankets up to her shoulders. "Just go back to sleep. You need your rest."
"But Zoe – " she began, struggling to sit up in her sleepy stupor, effectively letting her blankets pool around her waist.
"I'll watch over her," Adam interrupted, trying to push her back down into her pillow. "I promise. You need to rest, Burgess."
"But – " the officer looked desperately at the small form of her unconscious niece.
"Kim," Adam cut in again, drawing her attention away from Zoe and back to him. "I'll look after her. I promise that as long as I'm here, nothing is going to happen to her or to you. Please, go to sleep. " He felt her shoulders lose their tension as their eyes met, and with his words and soft, soothing noises, he was able to push her finally back into a resting position against her pillow. He drew her blankets up around her again, and this time she let him, grabbing onto the edge of the material and hooking it around her shoulder. She squirmed for a few minutes, trying to find a comfortable position on the cot and Adam watched her do so.
When she finally seemed to find a comfortable spot, she relaxed and looked up at Adam expectantly.
"You won't leave?" she asked softly, afraid that if she raised her voice any higher that it would crack and break the seemingly calm silence that had fallen over the hospital.
Unconsciously, Adam reached out and tucked a fallen curl behind Kim's ear. He let his fingertips run over her cheek, savoring the soft feeling of her skin beneath his rough hands, as he smiled down at her.
"I'm not going anywhere," he promised. "I'm staying right here."
He pulled away, but not before letting his emotions get the best of him. He leaned forward, quickly before his conscience and mind got the better of him, and placed a soft, lingering kiss against Kim's forehead. He could smell the sweet, rosy scent of her shampoo as he did so, and he paused for a second, his lips pressed just barely too her forehead and his nose brushing against the crown of her head before he reluctantly pulled himself away. He had too, before he did anything stupid – more stupid – like kiss her, for real this time.
Kim watched him pull away, tracking his movements as he took her seat next to Zoe's bed. She shifted onto her side so that she could see them both, and she fell asleep with her eyes locked on the duo, Adam's hand wrapped carefully around Zoe's, ensuring the girl – even in her sleep – that she wasn't alone, that she would never be alone again.
He must have fallen asleep sometime during the night. He sat beside Zoe for the entire night, switching between watching over her and watching over her slumbering aunt in the corner of the room. Finally, though, he couldn't keep his heavy eyes open any longer and he had succumbed to the darkness and peacefulness that was sleep.
When he did wake up, it was near six in the morning. The sun was beginning to peak through the blinds of the hospital room, little strips of pink and orange which streaked across the room, creating patterns against Zoe's blankets and across his face. It was the light shining across his face and a slight jostling on his right which pulled him sharply from his sleep. His eyes flew open and immediately his sights were accosted by Kim and her brilliant green sweater.
She seemed startled to see him awake, and she stepped back slightly, bumping into the edge of the bed.
"Sorry!" she said quickly. "I didn't mean to wake you. I was just checking on Zoe."
Adam nodded and waved off her apologies as he straightened up, his back creaking and cracking as he did so.
"No biggie," he assured her in a gravely, sleep-heavy voice. Instinctually, he ran a hand through his tousled brown hair, trying to smooth it back into its sculpted style. Kim watched his movements awkwardly, unsure what she should be doing. Adam glanced at her, trying to swallow away the gruffness of sleep from his voice, before speaking again.
"How's she doing?" he asked, nodding at Zoe who was still asleep in the hospital bed.
Kim gave one of her slight smiles as she glanced over at her unconscious niece. "No real changes," she said carefully and with a strained voice. "No worse, but not much better either. Doctor Arata said that there's the possibility that she could wake up today, but we'll have to wait and see."
"That's great, Kim," Adam said. Instinctively, he reached forward and grasped her hand. "She's going to be okay, Kim. She's strong, just like her aunt. I can tell."
Kim smiled softly.
"No," she said, looking over at Zoe. She reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind the girl's ear. "She's much stronger than me."
Adam didn't say anything, not wanting to disagree with the woman and tell her that she was crazy to think that there was a stronger person out there than her. Instead, he looked down at his watch.
"Shit," he muttered. He tapped on the face of his watch a few times, hoping that it would send the hands back thirty minutes or so. "I'm gonna be late to the precinct." He stood up immediately and began to gather his coat and cellphone which he had thrown off to the side. He glanced briefly at his phone, noting that there were several messages from Wendy and even one from Olinsky, but he ignored them, shoving his phone into the back pocket of his jeans.
Kim looked away from Zoe and back at Adam.
"Oh," she said softly. "Right, of course, you need to get to work."
She stood up, careful not to jostle Zoe's bed. She crossed an arm over her chest, letting her fingers curl around her other elbow and she stood there, rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Adam glanced at her as he pulled his jacket on.
"Are you going to be okay here by yourself?" he asked softly.
Kim looked up at him with her wide brown eyes. It took her a moment to register his words but once she had, she nodded and gave a slight smile.
"Yeah, I'll be fine," she said. She held up her phone and smiled again. "I finally got in touch with my sister. She and her husband are on their way here. They should be here before three."
"That's good," Adam said immediately. "That's really good."
They stood there for a moment, the silence between them broken only by the harsh beeps of Zoe's machines echoing against the white walls of the hospital room. Adam looked down at his feet and Kim bit at her lip anxiously.
"Well, I should probably get going," Adam said. "Today's gonna be hell, and I'd like to get some coffee before dealing with whatever shit-storm Chicago throws at us."
"Right, of course," Kim said. "Um, have a good day?" She scrunched her face up, knowing just how weird she had sounded saying that. Adam smiled and shuffled awkwardly towards the hospital room door.
Kim shut her eyes, hating herself for just how stupid she had sounded and wishing she had said something else, anything else, to show how much she appreciated everything he had done for her. He had just reached the door, and had one foot in the hall, when she found the courage to call out to him.
He stopped, mid-stride, and turned to look at her. He had one hand braced against the doorframe and a single eyebrow raised in question. Kim took a deep breath before moving towards him. She placed one hand on his shoulder and the other on the hand he had braced against the door. Rising up onto her tiptoes, she leaned in close to him. Kim could feel Adam's breath mixing and mingling with hers, and she clenched his shoulder as she leaned in, her lips pressed against his in a soft kiss. She could feel the scruff of his beard scratch against her gentle skin but she didn't care because this kiss was gentle and sweet and even though it was chaste, it was perfect.
She pulled away after several moments, her eyes flicking between his lips and his brown eyes.
He seemed a bit dazed and maybe a bit breathless as well, and he too had difficulty focusing on her eyes when her lips were so incredibly close.
"W-What was that for?" he asked softly.
"It was a thank you," she said just as softly. "For everything." Her eyes flicked down to his lips again, but she restrained herself and by some miracle, he restrained himself as well.
"Anytime, Burgess," Adam said with the most sincerity that he could muster. "I told you, I've got you covered."
"You better," she said, smilingly one of her dazzling smiles.
She pulled away, finally – unfortunately – and took several steps back. She turned back to her niece, taking the seat which had recently been vacated. Adam watched as she leaned forward to grab Zoe's hand, and the last image of her that he had before he left to tackle the horrors of the city was that of Kim leaning over her niece and talking to her with one of her brilliant smiles that never ceased to amaze him.
AN: Hope you all enjoyed and don't forget to review! It'll make this sucky week so much better!