This specific chapter has been redone several times, in three different years! 2012, 2013 and 2014! You'd think that this story had been waiting for three long years, but really, I only came up with the idea in like end 2012, and now it's finally ready to see the world. I am bit proud, to be honest.
Assumed past-Shenny and eventual Shenny.
She lifted her hand to the door, knocking nine times.
Penny looked around the familiar hallway, recalling each and every memory she had there, all of the good and bad ones, they were all special to her. Absolutely nothing had changed; even the elevator was still broken, just like two years ago.
"Two long years," she whispered to herself.
Two years had flown by so quickly and everything seemed like it was just like yesterday. Like it was still the time when she lived in the opposite apartment, before she left Pasadena for good. It wasn't easy, to leave everything behind and move out to Nebraska, but she did. She left her job at the Factory, her friends—her whole life. She didn't want to, but she had to, and so she did. She needed a fresh start, a whole new outlook on life that wasn't caused by buying a new skirt or a cute top. She needed to grow up, and that was exactly what she went through in Nebraska. Then, a year later, her agent called her saying that some director was interested in starring her in a new show. She had originally thought that the show was just a hoax and was actually porn, but when the director personally called her, she didn't need a second thought and flew back to California.
The show was a 'dramedy' called Halfway There. The story was about a woman, who was terribly cruel her whole life, that dies in an accident and is sent to hell. Once there, she begs for her life back, and due to a misunderstanding, she returns to Earth. Since it could not be undone, the person in charge tells her that there is a catch to her returning. She would be an entirely different person, with a different name and would have few memories of her past life. Then, unbeknownst to her character, she has to make up for all the bad things she did to people, as well as help other "lost" souls like herself. She thought that it was kind of a ripped off version of the movie, Chances Are, and the show, My Name Is Earl, combined, but once she saw the storyline, she realized that it was nothing like it, and loved the story.
The entire cast and crew thought that the show wasn't going to get picked up, but much to their surprise, the show was a hit. The first two episodes created a buzz online and were constantly praised by critics and viewers. They said that the story was fresh, that the production was great and that the actors were brilliant. Barely five episodes later, she became famous online, and on television. Like a household name, except less famous. Halfway There had even received nominations at the Emmys; Outstanding Drama series, Outstanding Writing for a Drama Series, and, Outstanding Lead Actress. When the crew had told her about her nomination, she had fainted from excitement, and up to this day, she still couldn't believe that she was recognized as an actress. It was more than a dream to get recognized by the Emmy committee, and she was excited to go- but, she couldn't.
Which brought her back to the reason she was back at 2311 Los Robles.
She was flying to France in five hours to shoot her first movie—an action-thriller called Hindsight that was set in a timeline that fused the present and the past. It was about an international super spy hunting down a traitor for spilling the CIA's secrets to the KGB. Unbeknownst to the spy, it was his daughter who was betraying the CIA. She was playing the international super spy's daughter, who had been betraying her father from the start, and was a double agent with a hidden agenda. Penny was extra nervous on shooting her first movie, but she was excited as well. The movie had a big budget and an all-star cast, who were all A-listers. She was probably the least famous in the cast, but her being in the movie alone was good enough for her. There were also three more movies lined up for her, and she couldn't help but think that her dreams were finally coming true.
She was deemed, "the Penny who changed Hollywood," and was considered as one of the stars to look out for. She starred in a critically acclaimed show, was nominated in the Emmys and was starring in a highly anticipated movie. She was a lot of years away from a star on the Walk of Fame, but she was living the dream. She wouldn't ever had thought that her life would be this great. She was no longer Penny, the waitress that had no money to pay for the bills, or the Penny that had a car that was a few more seconds to dying or the Penny who only had baking soda in her fridge. No, she was now Penny, the Emmy nominated actress.
… and a mother to one and a half year old twins.
Penny looked down after feeling someone tugging on her skirt.
"Mommy, wat do hewe?" Maddison asked, a tiny hand reaching up to rub her eye. Penny crouched down, patting the top of her blonde head. "This is where Uncle Leonard lives." The toddler nodded, turning to her twin, Andrew, who had plopped down on the floor, a deep frown on his face. "Mommy, Andy want eat."
"Don't worry, this won't take long. We just have to get you settled before mommy leaves." Penny smiled at her son before standing up as the door opened.
"I swear if Kripke hides my files one last time, I will obliterate him." Sheldon hissed as Leonard kept on glancing at the clock.
"Are you even listening to me?" There was a knock on the door, and Leonard knew who it was. "Fine, if you won't listen to me then don't, but please bear in mind that this will be reflected in the next roommate performance review. I'll get the door while you ponder on whether or not you should get a hearing aid," the theoretical physicist huffed, making his way to the door. Sometimes, he just wanted to reprogram his tiny roommate if he could get hold of the various illegal equipment needed for a successful whole body operation. He'd even be so kind as to add a chip that removed lactose intolerance, and his roommate's sad desire to please everyone around him. But that would only be after he removed all of his undesirable traits.
With a raised eyebrow, he opened the door and found his eyes widening.
"Penny?" He blinked at the hallucination in front of him, then fainted.
"Leonard, oh my god!" Penny yelped as Sheldon hit the floor. Leonard scrambled from his desk, crouching down beside Sheldon, before grabbing his hands and dragging the unconscious physicist over to the couch. "Is he alright?" The blonde asked, poking the edge of her shoes on Sheldon's chest.
"Yeah, he's breathing," Leonard answered in relief as he removed his fingers from Sheldon's pulse. "What did you do to stimulate such a reaction from him?"
The blonde crossed her arms, tilting her head to the side as her twins slowly crept towards Sheldon. "Honestly? Nothing. I didn't even say anything, and he just fainted." She watched as Andy poked Sheldon with a stubby finger while Maddie looked around the apartment. "Wait, did you even tell him that I was coming over to drop the twins off?" Leonard stared at her, and Penny bared her teeth in irritation. "Did you even tell him that you were going to look after the twins?" Leonard gave Penny an apologetic grin, and winced when Penny angrily hissed, declaring that he fix Sheldon while she brought the twins' things up.
About a month ago, Penny had called him to have lunch together. She had told him about the new movie she was doing, and that she was going to be gone for just two months since the rest of the movie would be shot in California. She also asked him if he could babysit the twins while she was off shooting her movie, because—due to various odd reasons—he was the only one she could trust with them. Leonard was glad to hear about her doing her first-ever movie; he, Raj and Howard had been supporting Penny's acting career since the first time they saw her in the preview of her show. They never missed an episode, and constantly supported her online. They were even members of her fan club. Though he had gotten depressed when she had crushed his heart, he didn't hesitate to come when Penny asked him to meet her a few months after she had left California. He was ecstatic when he first saw her, and was so glad to see her again—then, he saw her pregnant belly and all hell broke loose. It took two hours of explanations from Penny, and a catharsis of anger at the arcade near the restaurant they ate at, for him to finally understand and move on from Penny.
Starting that day, he spoke to her on a daily basis, even after her pregnancy when she moved back to California—though it was getting harder and harder for Penny to do that with her busy schedule—and had grown familiar to Penny's twins. They even called him Uncle Wenad when they learned to talk and it wasn't long until Raj—who stalked him after work—met with Penny again, and became acquainted with the twins. Raj was a big fan of Penny's show—which had just started at the time—and had never gave up hope that he'd meet with his close friend again. Raj was actually the one who had started the fan club when he heard that Penny was going to star in 'Halfway There.' Even Howard and Bernadette eventually got to catch up with Penny, and met the twins, and they all normally went out for lunch whenever Penny was free. There was only one person who constantly refused to go with them. One person who never failed in expressing his contempt for Penny, and absolute refusal in hearing about anything regarding Penny.
Ever since the day that Penny left—and she had broken her promise of driving him to the mall—Sheldon had grown cold towards Penny. He complained whenever they mentioned her name, and ranted whenever they watched her show. It was safe to say that Sheldon flat out hated her, and it was still a mystery as to why he did. He didn't even know why Sheldon would hate her, since she technically did nothing wrong. But Sheldon did, and each time they tried and begged for him to join them for lunch with Penny, he angrily protested and gave them all a strike. They never invited him again, and it never bothered his roommate that he was the only one no longer interacting with Penny. Raj had thought that it was such a shame, especially since the shared such a special bond and had brought it to himself to inform Sheldon on Penny's social life. During silence that occurred while they ate, Raj would tell them about what Penny was said to do in those gossip shows he loved, and Sheldon always ignored him. Sheldon literally chose not to have anything to do with Penny, and it got his curiosity. Because if anyone should be mad at Penny, it would be him. Not Sheldon. But that was in the past.
They never did got a chance to tell Sheldon that Penny had kids.
So, when Penny asked Leonard if it would be okay for the twins to stay at their apartment for the time being, he didn't hesitate to say yes.
"—those are their carseats, I placed their things in your room and I sent you an e-mail of their schedule and preferred food." Penny told him as she roamed around the room, checking if she had brought everything up. "Do you think that you can put some safety bumpers? Your apartment is literally a death trap, and I can write you a blank cheque for whatever the twins need."
Leonard shook his head, placing a plate of cookies on the coffee table for the twins to eat. "No, you don't have to worry about anything. I don't think that those bumpers will cost a lot, and I'm sure Howard can whip up something even more safe than wall guards. Plus, Raj won't waste a second without spoiling these two."
Penny frowned at the sight of her twins munching on the cookies. "I can barely get them to eat anything green or funny looking, and now you're feeding them cookies?" She gave Andy a stern look, and the toddler simply shrugged and continued eating. "And please don't let Raj spoil them too much. I know he loves the two, but I won't be able to meet their expectations when Raj practically offers to buy them a pony! Or to feed them every single sweet tasting food in the planet!" Leonard chuckled, grabbing a cookie and taking a bite of it while eyeing the still unconscious Sheldon slumped against the couch. "The Penny I know from two years ago would have finished that plate of cookies all alone. Now, you're mad at the sight of it! My, things have changed."
"Keep that up and I'll shove that plate down your throat," the blonde warned, taking another glance around the apartment. "Penny, are you really sure that leaving the twins here is a good idea? It's just that, do you really think that Sheldon and I will be able to take care of them? I'll be okay with doing it, since I've practically been babysitting Sheldon for years now, but can you really trust Sheldon for this? He might ship the twins off to Antarctica or something." Penny sighed, rubbing her temples as she finally understood what Leonard was implying. "Oh, I think I trust Sheldon way too much. You know that I need to do this, and that I owe it to the twins. Wait, why are you even questioning my decision when you're the one who suggested that I do this?"
Leonard shrugged, "just wanted to double check. Hey, are you sure you have all of the twins' things in my room? You'll need to get to the airport in a few."
"Oh right, let me just go and check," Penny nodded, glancing at her watch then heading to Leonard's room. Right as Penny disappeared, Sheldon's eyes flew open—scaring both Leonard and the twins.
Sheldon slowly sat up, Leonard looming over him with a look of concern as he rubbed the back of his head. "Buddy, are you okay?" He nodded, narrowing his eyes at what he thought he saw. He saw Penny, alive, and two brats who looked a lot like her. He hadn't heard from Penny since she left, and had decided to sever any connection with her. If he was still her friend, she would have at least replied to his monthly update e-mail. He sometimes heard about her from Raj, that she had become a star, but he didn't care. The non-written friendship agreement declares that, if a friend shall leave the state, he or she must at least inform the other friend, and say goodbye. She broke that, and he found no reason to know about her life. He had lost all respect for their former neighbor the moment that she broke his trust. She didn't deserve his friendship, or his time or day, or a .1 kb amount of space in his mind.
"I thought I saw Penny," he told his roommate, placing a hand on his forehead. It must have been the orange chicken that made him hallucinate. He needed to cut back on the fake tangerine chicken that Raj kept on insisting was real. "She had two miniature versions of herself and I think my spontaneous decision of changing our eating schedule has fired back." Leonard sighed in relief before standing up—why was he slouched against the couch?—and extended a hand out to Sheldon. "Um, about that... Penny is here. With her twins. But she's leaving for Paris. And we're going to babysit for her while she's gone. Want some dessert? We can go out if you want some." Sheldon frowned as he deciphered what Leonard's stammering translated to. Then, as if to prove a point, two tiny humans wobbled over to him, staring at him with large, sky blue eyes.
"Oh! Why he on floh?"
"Leonard," he slowly said, sending Leonard's extended hand a glare. "What is the meaning of this?" Sheldon gritted his teeth as he stood, glaring down at his roommate. "They're, um, Andy and Maddie, they're Penny's kids, and she's, uh, going to France... So, I volunteered on babysitting for her?"
"You what?" That was it. Sheldon didn't care if the children would cry or get traumatized for the rest of their lives; he was mad and Leonard deserved reprimanding. He, himself, hated shouting and fighting, but sometimes he just couldn't help it when your roommate is this infuriating. "You took in two strangers, without my permission, and expect me to just accept this?!" The experimental physicist nervously wrung his hands, "they're not strangers, they're Penny's ki—"
"Penny?! Who is she who shall not be named? The person we decided is banned from this apartment for breaking every friendship rule there is? The traitor who just went up and left? Tell me, how you plan on getting me to agree to this, Leonard. Because I am very interested in your explanation!" Sheldon was fuming, and Leonard knew it. They had an unspoken rule of never allowing Penny to return to the apartment, ever. Penny was worse than Benedict Arnold, Judas, Darth Vader and Rupert Murdoch, the guy who cancelled Firefly, on his list of traitors. It took a lot for him to accommodate Penny into his life, and it didn't take a second for her to just disregard all of them out of hers. "Well, uh, it's cause I, uh..."
"Leonard, let me handle this." Sheldon snapped his head towards the hall to their rooms, where Penny stood. "You, how dare you return here like you never broke our trust!"
The blonde had a tight frown on her face, and her arms crossed across her chest—that was what Penny normally looked like whenever she was unimpressed with him. Sheldon didn't care if she had once been his friend, the fact remained that she broke his trust, and that was unforgivable. Just a day before she vanished, she had promised him that she would take him shopping for one of the tenured professor's birthday. Then, she left without a single word, and he was the only one who didn't have a gift for the retiring professor. He had given her fifteen strikes for it, then Leonard told him that she left. For good. It took him awhile to find out if he had done anything to offend her by suggesting the shopping trip, but he found himself not at fault. It was Penny who had a problem, not him. He did not miss her when she left, but he did find her absence noticeable. Mostly due to mainly relying on Leonard for transportation. Unlike when Penny had been present to drive him everywhere, Leonard usually threatened to make him ride the bus.
The first month of Penny's absence was unbearable for him, with Leonard constantly crying and singing to Alannis Morisette's 'You Oughta Know' and asking him what he did wrong—which was a lot. Even Howard and Raj got weepy, but he did not falter his cold stand on the matter of the backstabbing, traitor named Penny. Though he somewhat missed having someone to show his superiority to, he had been returned to being the best HALO player in their group. Had Penny still been there, he would be the second best, and that was not good. However, as the months dragged on; Leonard suddenly stopped talking to him and even disappeared for a week during the fifth month of Penny's absence. When he returned, he ignored him for quite a while, then suddenly reverted back to normal without any reason whatsoever.
Plus, right after Penny's departure, Raj told him that it was customary for former friends to e-mail each other with all of the anger and appreciation one ever had for the other. Since it was social protocol, he secretly did what Raj told him to do. He sent her e-mails weekly for an entire month—aside from the monthly one he sent everyone—but she never replied. Not a single one was answered, and that led him to remove anything Penny reminiscent in his life. He even almost dispatched Leonard, but he needed him for doing his tedious tasks.
"I know you're mad," Penny started, walking over to where they stood. "But I had my reasons, and you have to respect that."
"Respect what?" Sheldon scoffed angrily, and for some unknown reason, he felt a twinge of pain on his wrist. "Penny, you promised to accompany me to the mall to get a gift for Professor Lancaster. I was the only one without a gift—even Wolowitz had a gift, and they've never even met. Do you know how embarrassed I was?"
"Sheldon, let it go," Leonard pleaded beside him, the brats hiding behind his roommate's legs. "That's over and done with, and was two years ago. Professor Lancaster didn't even care!" The physicist turned to his roommate, his face twitching in anger. "He cared. I saw how his smile diminished when he learned that I did not have a gift, and you know it." Sheldon turned back to Penny, he wasn't done with her. He certainly was not done with her. "Did you know that I was the laughing stock of the physics department, for the third time? It has even come to my realization that you were the cause of all of the disgrace I have ever endured! Are you happy to hear about my demise, bane of my existence?"
The blonde released something close to a growl, and Sheldon did not back down, preparing himself for any acts of violence that Penny would do. He had played this game many times before, and even if Penny called his mother, he would not let her win. He had already knuckled under for her so many times before that he had had enough. "You know what? Fine! I'm sorry, okay! Sorry that you didn't get your stupid gift. Sorry that I ruined your life, yet again! Sorry that I always ruin your stupid reputation! Sorry that I'm always the cause of your misery!" Penny was seething and Leonard had an overtly concerned expression, but Sheldon merely snickered. It was the truth and Penny had to face the fact that she was the biggest nuisance in his life. "There, I apologized. Are you happy now?"
"Hardly," Sheldon snorted and he swore that Penny was about to strangle him. Instead she huffed, bent down to kiss the brats on their foreheads and sent him a vicious glare that he'd seen many times before. "Whatever, I'm leaving. Unlike you spiteful ba-" Leonard rapidly shook his head, pointing to the brats, "-beast, I have somewhere to be, and something more important to do!" She faced Leonard, giving him a small, strangled smile. "Thanks again for doing this." He smiled back then Penny turned back to Sheldon, growled then stormed out of the apartment, slamming the door.
"I'm glad that she's gone!" Sheldon exclaimed, sending the door an angry look as if Penny was still there. Her mere presence had ruined his day, and he had been excited all day for Star Wars; Clone Wars night. Curse her and her hobby of ruining his life. "People like her should stay away from our fortress of solitude for good. She had brought nothing but an endless amount of problems into this apartment, and it is high time that we put an end to her terrorizing ways! To think that she even brought those brats with her! The nerve!" He shook his head in disbelief before marching to his desk and prying his laptop open. "Thank goodness she took those brats with her! I won't be able to withhold my anger if she had left them here as if we were some sort of daycare center. The nerve of that woman."
Sheldon triumphantly grinned as he heard Leonard settle on the couch. He must feel defeated; he wouldn't allow Penny to once again soil their lives. How dare she even bring her offsprings with who-knows-who here! How dare she even think that she could just leave them here in the apartment where he had spent so many hours ensuring that it was pristine! Children brought in germs, especially stranger's children that could have picked up strange diseases from god knows where. Leonard probably thought of it as another attempt for him to win Penny back. Foolish, he thought. He shouldn't have been surprised that Leonard would do anything to get Penny to love him again; he did that all the time. It never worked, and Leonard never learned. Now that she had offsprings, that idea was even more unlikely. As well as his idea of having "beautiful and smart" progenies with her. He let out a laugh, Leonard was too foolish. They would always be imaginary.
"Maddie tink so."
Sheldon's features hardened, and he swore that he could hear unintelligent voices chatting.
"Why Sedon mad?"
"Not wike Uncah Wenad."
"Uncah Wenad fun."
Sheldon peered over his shoulder, and found the brats sitting in the middle of the couch. They were nibbling on cookies, and he had a strong urge to viciously scold them and obliterate Leonard. Those were his cookies, that they bought for watching Star Wars: Clone Wars—not for germ infested, unfamiliar, un-welcomed, feebleminded crawlers! "LEONARD!" He bolted from his chair, and spun around to face the kitchen where Leonard stood. "What are they still doing here?!" The bespectacled man blinked, placing the bottles of milk down on the counter. Bottles! They couldn't even drink from a glass yet! Preposterous! "I told you, we're babysitting for Penny. She'll be gone for two months, and doesn't trust anyone to watch over the twins."
"Why doesn't she just leave them with her parents in Nebraska? Or with her friends that aren't us? Didn't you say that she was famous, now? Can't she hire someone?" Leonard sighed, lifting the bottles and making his way to where the brats were. He handed one to each of them. "Something about her dad feeding them too much corn. Her friends are all busy, and have no experience with children. The last babysitter she hired stole some of her things and sold them on eBay, you can check. It's actually pretty surprising to see that Penny's used nail polish costs about a hundred bucks." Sheldon felt anger boiling up inside him, he really had to stay away from Leonard's schemes. They never ended well. "We don't have any experience with children, as well!" Sheldon shrieked at his roommate. "If this is another one of your ploys to get Penny to get back with you, I want no part of it!"
Leonard scrunched his face in distaste, "it is not! I'm doing this because I'm her friend, and you are, too!"
"I believe we stopped being friends the moment she neglected her duties and left us for good." He was seething as he glanced at the brats on his couch. Their resemblance to Penny was astonishing, and even had the same mannerisms as her. They both had golden blonde hair, big, blue eyes—Penny had green eyes, but theirs might lighten into the same shade as they grew up—and both sported that clueless look Penny always had on. The boy was cluelessly staring at him as he ate the cookie, while the girl ignored him. Very Penny, he mused to himself as he observed the brats again. How were they supposed to deal with children that they've never even met? He had never had any experience with children, and had always despised their every being. Babies were noisy, pooping, slobbering messes, and these two were probably no different. There were two! One child was hard enough, what would they do with another one?
"I know what you're thinking, Sheldon," Leonard spoke, glancing at the brats. "You're thinking that we can't take them in, and that we should return them. Sheldon, they're kids, not dogs! We can't just put them in a box and leave them somewhere!" Sheldon pursed his lips, that could easily be arranged; the brats were small enough to be placed in a box. Maybe even a large box for them to move in, since he was such a kind person. Leonard, noticing that his roommate was seriously considering the idea, leapt to his feet. "We are not putting them in a box!"
Sheldon held his hands up in defense, "that wasn't what I was thinking about."
"Then what were you thinking about?"
"That we could leave them in an orphanage, and that Penny wouldn't notice." The physicist sardonically smiled as Leonard groaned in frustration. "We're not leaving them in an orphanage! We are not throwing them away, do you understand? We will take care of them, whether you like it or not!" Sheldon scowled down at his improbable roommate who was far too persistent on insisting that the brats stay here in their apartment. He had a feeling that this really was just a ploy to get Penny back, and that this would have disastrous results. Leonard's plans always ended badly, and it was always he who was there to witness each and every one of them. Sheldon felt an odd sense of amusement whenever one of Leonard's desperate attempts at wooing Penny crashed and burned. It was great to know that he had been right from the very start—that Leonard and Penny would never work.
It would be remarkable if he once again proved that this new attempt of Leonard's would end the same way the others did—sad, miserable and much to Leonard's pathetic dismay. He might even be able to prove his theory that Leonard's plans always ended badly, whatever the goal was.
With a huff, Sheldon turned and stormed to his desk; he would watch from the sidelines as this plan went up in smoke. He'd make sure that he would be the one to say the much deserved I told you so. Maybe when this train has run it's track, Leonard will finally learn his lesson and understand that his relationship with Penny is futile and that Penny is nothing but trouble. Leonard should be happy to have him as his roommate; he was such a good friend. "Fine, but you're taking care of them, and it is your time that will be wasted. I expect that you won't mess up my routine, Leonard. Or else they will be placed in a box and be sent off to Madagascar." He heard Leonard sigh in relief as he grabbed a clipboard and a pen from a drawer, then swiveled his chair to face Leonard. His roommate was sitting at the end of the couch, beside the two brats. "But first, I have several questions I must ask before completely allowing you to push through with this asinine plan of yours."
The male brat—Andy—craned his neck to look at Leonard. "Uncah Wenad, wat as... asni... asnin?" Sheldon chuckled in disapproval; they were just like their mother!
"Uh, it means funny, and don't use that word, it's bad." Leonard explained, causing the brat to nod and loudly whisper to the female brat—Maddie—that 'asnin' was bad. "And don't look so condescending, Sheldon! They're a year and half, they're not supposed to know what asinine means!" The bespectacled man turned back to the brats, who each had a hand covering their mouths from hearing the bad word, and shook his head. "Don't use that word. So, Sheldon, what were the questions you were going to ask me?"
He raised an eyebrow, clicking his pen as he scribbled the brats' names on the paper. "Yes, now, first question; what is their exact birthdate?" Sheldon paused, pursing his lips in thought, "or birth dates, if Penny had given birth to the second brat at midnight."
Leonard frowned, "don't call them brats, they have names, and you know it. They were born on November 9, 2010. I don't know the exact time, though." Sheldon nodded, writing the date down on the second item (birthdate) of his form. "That would mean that they're about twenty-one months old, not a year and a half, like you previously claimed. From what I can see and hear, they can walk and—surprisingly—talk in fragmented, mispronounced sentences. Not very impressive as I have been said to be able to talk properly by the age of seventeen months. But this isn't novel as I am, a prodigy, and these are Penny and some unknown—probably a doltish neanderthal—man's progenies." He ignored the look of incredulity that Leonard was sending him, and continued. "Have they been thoroughly potty trained?"
His roommate brought his phone out, scrolling through something as the brats leaned over his arm to see what he was doing. "According to the e-mail Penny sent me, they are, but still require diapers for any accidents that might happen. I'll send you the e-mail, it will have the complete list of everything important about them. Like food preferences and their schedules—Penny seems to be very strict about this." Sheldon snickered and added the information to the list. "Very well, I'll inspect it for additional details. Now, how long will they be staying here? Please be precise."
"At least two months, and maybe longer if there are any problems on set."
"Alright. Are you sure it's not too late to get Penny to take them back?" Sheldon raised an eyebrow, lowering the clipboard as Leonard groaned. "Yes, she's probably boarding the plane as we speak, or something."
"Understood. Will you take complete and full responsibility over them?"
"I'll try; I already requested a short vacation and permission to work here at home. But I already used up my vacation days, so they might not give me anything more than a week. Will it be okay if you take care of them once my vacation is up? You do have a lot of remaining vacation days ready for consumption." Leonard was hopeful, and Sheldon snorted in derision. "That's a negatory, as I have no plans of taking a vacation. However, you may submit a request for that specific conundrum, and I shall look over it when I can." Sheldon ripped a sheet from the clipboard and placed it in the coffee table. "You will get a response within forty-eight hours regarding your request. Now, back to the important part; are you a hundred percent sure that it's not too late to force Penny to get them back?"
"For the last time, yes, it's too late, and no, you are not going to ship them to France!"
They stared at each for a while until Sheldon sighed in defeat, scribbling 'unsuccessful' on the box he created asking if it was too late to return the brats. "Drat, I was hoping that my continuous prodding would somehow change your mind." He drew two lines at the bottom of the page, then directed his gaze at the two brats sitting beside Leonard. They were both still nibbling on a cookie, and retained the familiar clueless expression that belonged to their traitorous former neighbor, Penny. He suddenly felt another twinge of pain on his wrist, and glanced at the last part of his form. "One last question, are both of you able to sign your names?"
Brat one and two both stopped chewing on the cookie, and blinked; unable to comprehend what he had asked.
"Disappointing, but again, what's to expect?" Sheldon shook his head and tucked the clipboard under his arm as he stood. "I guess I'll just have to create an efficient, anomalous crayon made signature that is suitable for a couple of feebleminded brats. Let it never be said that Sheldon Lee Cooper ignored the the silent pleas of infants asking that they be represented in creating a temporary mark of identification that they will most certainly not use once they are of appropriate age to create one themselves."
"Hey, what are you mumbling about?" Leonard asked as Sheldon made his way to the hall. "And where are you going?"
Sheldon stopped, took a few steps back and lifted the clipboard as if it was the answer. "I'm going to my room to locate the first unrevised version of the roommate agreement to use as reference for a more age appropriate one that would be suitable for those two brats."
Leonard winced, "don't tell me you're...?"
"Yes, I'm drawing up a temporary roommate agreement for those brats. Please don't make me repeat myself again, Leonard. Now excuse me, as it will take a lot of referencing and googling to translate the agreement into something even a toddler would understand."
"Da ooh-met ag-eeh-met?" Andy repeated questioningly to his twin sister, "wat dat?"
Maddie shrugged, moving to the edge of the couch to grab a cookie from the coffee table. "Dunno."
Leonard stared at the hall even after his roommate disappeared; finally processing what Sheldon had been blabbering about the entire time. Penny was going to murder him if she ever found out that Sheldon forced her kids to sign a temporary roommate agreement.
"Penny is so going to kill him," he muttered to himself in fear.