Title: Life Is Not Fair But We Don´t Care
Beta-read: Suite Samba, Badgerlady
Word Count: 1005
Snarry-A-Thorn 2014 Prompt: 87. Established relationship. Harry always wanted a family of his own. But he has to accept that not even magic can make a man pregnant, and neither he nor Severus want the help of a surrogate mother. When all attempts of adopting a child fail too, Harry gets depressed. Can Severus help Harry to realise that a life without children of his own is worth living?
Disclamer: Don't own the characters. No profit is being made from this story.
Life Is Not Fair But We Don´t Care
He was sitting in his favourite chair by the fireplace. Again. Severus could see him.
He was rubbing the bridge of his nose, sighing. Again. Severus could hear him.
Harry was... he looked sad, nearly desperate, as if he felt sorry for himself... As if he might regret his choice, his choice of relationship, his heart´s desire, the life they'd carefully built all these years side by side. Just because of... Severus sighed too. Just because of the child.
There was no chance they, Harry and Severus, could have one themselves, both of them being men, no matter that they were powerful wizards, and the thought of an unknown surrogate mother was... unacceptable for Harry, and for Severus as well. So only adoption remained. An adoption that... Severus shook his head at a bad memory.
They had tried to get into the adoption program last month and since that time they had been... investigated - like criminals! Their lives were turned upside down, their privacy was an open book for all the Ministry officials... until Harry said: "Enough!"
Severus had never seen him so furious in his life. He was outraged, not for himself, and not because of his ruined reputation or bruised ego. He was outraged because of their behaviour toward Severus...
Severus never expected respect from anyone. He was an ex-Death Eater, after all, a man once suspected of murders and others serious war crimes... but they were worse than he had expected. Far worse. Still, he gritted his teeth, clenched his fists and tried to survive their smarmy and harsh questions. He let himself be driven to the edge of his self-control because he knew it was worth it. For Harry. For them both...
And then Harry said: "Enough!" in a voice as cold as ice, and threw all the officials from their home. Completely and forever.
And now it was over, their every hope was destroyed, and Harry was sitting in his chair, staring into the flames, deep in dismal thoughts. Nearly broken, like a puppet with its string cut. Unsuitable as a parent.
And now what? Severus thought. Is this the end? Is there nothing left for us because we cannot have a child?
No! Of course not!
He raised his head and cleared his throat. As soon as his husband's green eyes turned to him and Harry blinked to clear his mind, Severus spoke in a low voice: "Come with me," and stretched his right hand out to the younger man.
Severus Apparated them to Spinner´s End, right in front of the familiar, run-down house. Harry was confused. He frowned and turned to Severus for an explanation but the older wizard just put two fingers on his mouth and gently said: "Just watch and listen, Harry. Do it for me, now..."
So Harry nodded and let himself be hugged.
"Do you see what I see?" Severus whispered into his ear. "This old house was like a prison for me during all my childhood, but now, when I look at it, I can see only old memories, misunderstandings and two desperate, too different souls of my parents... and below it there are small pieces of love that my father forbade himself to show and my mother was too afraid to express. Not much, Harry, but there it is."
He hugged Harry firmly and Apparated them again.
Now they were on the hill near Godric´s Hollow. Harry gasped in shock but stayed silent as he had been asked.
"Every time I thought of this place," Severus continued, "I saw in my mind only cursed green light and death, Harry. But do you know what? It´s different now. I can see life, too, and happiness behind these walls of your first home, and love, so much love that no cruel curse could have stopped it. You grew up inside these walls and it was your father and your mother who saved your life... but they saved mine, too, even though they didn´t know..."
Harry bit his lower lip and blinked a few times. Severus placed a light kiss into his black hair and Apparated them once more.
They were standing on a path at the foot of a mountain but they weren't staring upwards. The important scene was lying below – a large dark forest, a lake with a black surface and numerous towers of a huge, old stronghold.
"That place there had been my true home for so many years but... I wasn´t happy there, Harry. I was as content as it was possible for me to be, but not happy. Despite all the staff and students in the castle, I was all alone. So when I look at the building this time I can´t see my home, now. No. The only home I have..." he turned to face Harry, speak to him eye to eye, "... my only home is with you. And I'll love you just the same no matter if we have a child in our home or not. Because the only life I want to spend is with you, by your side every day and every night, with your smile and at this very moment even with your silly tears." He paused and then added: "I showed you my past now, Harry, but with you, I can see my future..."
Harry sniffed, burying his face in Severus´ shoulder. "I´m so sorry!" he whispered into the dark robes.
"Don´t be. I am not." Another kiss into the mop of hair before Severus lifted Harry´s head and examined his green eyes. "You surely didn´t think everything in our lives would be easy, did you?"
Harry tried to smile, shaking his head slightly, tears glittering in his eyes.
Severus gave him a light smile. "Through thick and thin. We managed it before and we can manage it now, too."
And with these final words Severus kissed Harry gently on his mouth and Apparated them home.
Because... their life didn´t have to be fair but for now they didn´t care...