I want to go for a walk. But I can't. I could. But I won't. I need a destination. I have no place where I need to be. I just bought groceries nearly two weeks ago and I still have plenty.
I stared out the window, which I noticed I did more often than either of my cats combined. A sheer sign of needing a life, when your indoor pets have a fuller schedule than you do.
I was probably at my window for about an hour. Not looking for anything at all. I'd occasionally see one of the other apartment residents coming and going. Mr. Frollo was yelling at how blasphemous his own neighbors were. I'm not sure why he still decides to live here if it makes him so uncomfortable. Nani looks like she bought her little sister a new… dog? It looks more like a demonic wombat. Next door to them, Jim was helping his mother carry groceries. He seemed like a nice kid. He may look like a punk, but with a mother that happy, how bad a person could he possibly be?
I notice my neighbor's red-haired friend is dropping by again. I hear her laughing through the wall sometimes, and my neighbor hushes her. It makes me sad because she's got a contagious laugh and it manages to get one out of me. Thankfully that's pretty much all the activity I hear from over there. I assume they're just friends. I've lived here for almost three years, and normal couples move in together after a certain point. Not that they're any of my business. I know a lot about my neighbors just from looking out the window every day.
The window suddenly seems dull after thinking about it. I check my blog. No followers. Even the trolls find me too uninteresting to bother. I don't know which is worse. Being teased or practically nonexistent. I still continue to write an online diary. Even tho no one reads it, it's nice to pretend someone does.
I pretty much go the entire day without eating. I'm rarely hungry. And when I am, it's an inconvenience because I don't like cooking. Like most other things, I could never find passion in the culinary arts tho I dabbled in it for a few semesters in college.
College was a waste of money. Graduated with all A's, got a degree in architecture. Naturally got no job out of it because my networking skills are terrible. Depressing really.
Another night, another day gone by without talking to people. I'm both relieved and disappointed in myself. It's so easy to talk to people, so why don't I just do it? Ah well. No sense losing sleep over it. I lay on my side, spooning my cat Olaf, while my other cat Marshmallow claimed his throne on my hip. "At least I have you two." They both suddenly bolted out of my bedroom into the living room. I sighed. They must've heard the dog barking next door and went to hide. I slept soundly.
The next morning, I dragged myself out of my warm cocoon. I was already awake at 6:00. I was still tired, but I couldn't fall back asleep either. One of my many curses. I lay there for a while now. I looked at the clock. It said 7:00. Only an hour? I was doomed to forever be a morning person. And now I have the entire day ahead of me. Joy.
I trudge into the bathroom and brush my teeth. In the mirror I see a mountain of dirty clothes I let pile up on the floor. I suppose that's one thing I can do today. Walk over to the laundry room. That should take me a good... Hour.
I sigh. Yay. An hour. I gathered up my clothing and threw them in their designated basket, which was a good foot away from where I tossed them. I picked up the basket, propping it on my hip, and walked into the room. Olaf ran past me. And there was Marshmallow, inspecting... A half naked woman.
I'm confused. It wasn't just any naked woman. It was my neighbor's friend. In my room. Topless. Not entirely, since she still had on her bra . An adorable bra, at that. No I'm not looking... Not looking...
Where was her shirt anyway? I looked across the floor. It was thrown near my front door. I picked it up carefully and noticed why it wasn't on her body.
"Oh god..." That's regurgitation. It wasn't much but it was enough for me to be thankful it landed on tile. It'd be easier to- "Olaf, get away from there!" I hissed. Angry, but still trying to keep quiet. "Don't put your face in it!" I swatted him away and cleaned it up quickly, throwing her shirt in with my clothes. I scanned the living room. No more anywhere else. At least not anywhere I could see.
I looked back over at the sloppy sleeper on my couch. I caught myself staring and hastily threw a light blanket over her upper body. There, fixed. Now how did she even get in here? I always lock my door.
Of course. These windows have no locks to them. At least she was of mind to close it so my cats couldn't escape.
With that, I decided she was too incapacitated to ruin my home. So I carried on with my initial plan and did my laundry, and hers.
I wasn't about to sit in the laundry room to keep myself entertained. (Laundry Soaps would have to wait) I went back to my apartment.
"Right where I left you." I said to the unconscious girl. That wasn't creepy at all. Now was a good time to clear out these dishes before she saw. She was clearly on the more embarrassing side of the spectrum, but I had to do something to stay preoccupied.
I scrub away at my dishes. I didn't like using the dishwashing machine because it never cleaned them enough for me. I put everything in order on the drying rack and managed to drop a large frying pan in the kitchen floor. I winced at the noise and looked at the couch. She didn't even stir from that...
Then I had a horrible thought.
What if she's dead? Someone died on my couch!
I scurried over to her and stared, hand over my lips. I can't tell. Her mouth is open. And she's in the least-comfortable sleeping position I've ever seen. "No, no, please no," I put my palm in front of her nose to see if I could feel her breathing.
The monstrous snort that came from her nose nearly scared the life out of me. Dead people don't make that noise.
I sighed. Thank god. First girl in my apartment isn't a dead one.
I continued to straighten up my apartment as she continued to sleep. I fetched the laundry, brought it back, warmed myself some hot tea in the microwave, and even had time to check my blog. And she still wasn't awake. Well… it was only about 8:30. Still early, by normal peoples' standards. I separated the clothes. The last thing I wanted to do, but it was something I could do quietly while the girl got her rest. I took her shirt and draped it over my arm.
Walking back into the living room, Olaf running past my legs, I see she's finally conscious with Marshmallow perched on top of her. He only lays on /my/ butt... Wow, he must have really liked her.
"Good morning," I said, trying to let her be aware of my presence without first noticing my staring at her.
She paused to look at me. Hopefully just regaining herself and not being frightened. What was she judging on me… why did she keep looking at me? What was she seeing? What was she thinking?
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I accidentally broke into your apartment because my friend lives next door to you and I was in the area, drunk, and I thought I was climbing into the right window, and I did wonder when my friend got two cats but I didn't question it, so now I'm hungover and in your living room so um... Hi howya doin'?" She smiled at me.
Well that was unexpected. My eyes accidentally dropped to her… chest as she sat up. That bra… Maybe one day I could have undergarments that looked nice. As if I had anyone to look nice for.
I cleared my throat, and my thoughts. "I washed your shirt." I handed it to her. "I was going to do my laundry and I saw it laying on the floor, and it was dirty so."
She was staring again. I tried my best keeping our eyes locked. Or rather couldn't pull them away, because I seemed to have been stuck in those gorgeous bright teal… Goodness, she was remarkably beautiful. If a beam of sun hadn't been a spotlight to all those freckles on her skin, I wouldn't have noticed right away. I tried not to fidget.
"Thank you," she finally said. And paused again. "Um, for the-"
I had to stop myself from staring at her. Her pauses were allowing me to gawk. To my understanding, girls hate being gawked at by other girls. "Are you hungry? I was about to make some breakfast." I lied. I didn't have intentions of making breakfast at first. But I had to do something.
We engaged in conversation while I fried bacon and whipped up my favorite waffles. For some reason, right off the bat, she inquired about my relationship status. Surely it was obvious that I was single…
I hadn't meant to let a smile slip when she asked if I had a girlfriend. Had I been a hermit for so long that asking about one's sexuality had become as common a question as say asking one's name? Or maybe it was wishful thinking that someone as pretty as her could be asking on her own behalf.
Turned out she likes chocolate chip waffles as well. And here I thought they would be too childish for any mature grown woman to eat. Thankfully not.
Any normal person would have kicked her out by now, but I seemed to want to keep her around. It should not have been a surprise to me. I haven't had company in forever (especially company who happened to be a cat-lover). It could last for at least one meal right? And it was nice providing for someone for a change… Feeding someone, no less. I thought I hated cooking. But there's satisfaction in it when there's someone there to eat with you.
One meal, however, wouldn't have been satisfying enough for me. We were having such a good time talking. I'm never this comfortable talking with anyone. It had to be a sign, feeling so at home with this one person. No other friendship I started felt this warm and relaxing. Perhaps I could give her more incentive to return?
She really liked my cats. And they both really liked her. Marshmallow likes people about as much as I do, and even he is sitting by her like she's one of the family. I continued working. "Well, if your friend is my neighbor you're... more than welcome to visit my boys. I'm sure they'd actually enjoy the company." I'd enjoy the company too of course, but if I said that then what would she think?
She accepted my invitation. "Aw thank you! You're so sweet, after all this… stuff I did to you."
I laughed. I had almost forgotten all of that. Not that she was a problem in the slightest. It was definitely a first impression worth noting.
She started again, "Just an observation. You must be new around here, because Kristoff never even mentioned his neighbors before. I mean, he's not good with people in the slightest, lemme tell ya. I just thought he would've mentioned having such a pretty neighbor."
Did she just call me pretty? She? Why would she… oh don't read so much into it. Compliments don't mean anything deeper than that. I know I'm not ugly, but I certainly didn't deem myself as anyone to comment on. My lack of self-esteem was probably why I always decide to stay inside. If I wasn't such a frightened deer, I would leave my home more often. Get a job closer to people. Make friends. I had to force back remembering how I got to this point in the first place. It's hard to remember who I was before I was so depressed all the time… But now wasn't the time. I was waiting too long to answer her, and she didn't deserve the burden of such details. "I don't really get out much."
"Next time I come over, I could show you around if you like!"
She initiated coming back to visit me? She didn't just pretend to forget that I invited her… I can't believe someone else actually wants to put equal investment. I believed her, smiling, even tho she couldn't see. "I'd like that."
I finished cooking while she gave Olaf and Marshmallow attention. It must have been like having a second mother to them. I set up the table, let my guest oogle the food, and she began to dig in before I even sat down. She was enjoying herself. But her table manners came as quite a surprise to me. Not that I minded.
Oh god some chocolate dripped onto her chest... She asked, "Is there anything on my face?"
Nope nothing on her face. Should I tell her there's some on her chest? No, then she'd know I was looking! "Ah, no," I answered. I could feel my face getting redder. Surely she could see that. I tried breathing properly so the blood could leave my face, and I reminded her that she wasn't wearing a shirt still. When she put it on, it helped with the distraction at least.
We continued talking. And she had caught me looking at her chest. I really didn't mean to! But she seemed oddly okay with it. She definitely seemed like she had confidence to spare. Enough to ask the question that I've secretly been dying to ask.
"So what is your name?"
She smiled big at me, like she's never heard my old-lady of a name before. "That's a lovely name. It suits you."
"Thank you." I hid my face behind my cup to hide my embarrassment. "And yours?"
"Oh, right!" She reached across the table to "formally" shake my hand. An unusual gesture at this point, but I gently took hers just the same. She gave me a brief squeeze. I liked it. "I'm Anna."