A/N: This is a result of watching both Charmed and Supernatural on Netflix today. Plot bunny mania. So this is kinda a mash up of both series. If you're a fan of both, then you know which elements I'm talking about. I basically turned Dean and Cas into Piper and Leo. Whom I love dearly. This will be short, only about three chapters. Enjoy. Warnings: Extremely corny dialogue. I think it's cute. It's about time I did something close to fluff instead of drama, drama, and more drama.
The Switch : Chapter 1/3
"Son of a biscuit!" Dean swore loudly. Well sort of. "This is bull...", Dean's face turned red as he tried to force out the words. He looked like he was about to vomit...again. Sam reached for one of the buckets they'd placed in every room of the bunker. Regular vomit was disgusting enough, but half hunter- half angel pregnancy vomit was positively vile. It was neon yellow, slimy, and stuck to the floors like glue. It did have some interesting destructive properties as they found out on a hunt to kill a demon two weeks earlier.
The demon had Sam pinned to the wall choking him. Completely blackened eyes stared amusedly at him as he clutched and scratched desperately at the hand wrapped around his neck. White spots danced across his vision and he felt himself slipping away when Dean crashed in through the door and shot at the demon several times in succession. The final bullet to the head broke the proverbial camel's back and the demon was forced to pull from the body he had possessed; leaving the innocent bleeding on the floor.
Sam fell suddenly, the magic that had been holding him released. He coughed out blood and gripped at his angrily bruised neck. He watched helplessly as the demon lunged at Dean in a wist of black smoke. Cas was going to kill him. He told Dean to stay in the car. He shouldn't have even been on the hunt in his condition. Of course he wouldn't listen, the stubborn jerk. It swirled around Dean creating an oxygen void vortex causing him to gasp for air. Instead of dropping his gun like anticipated, Dean vomited from the pressure the vortex exerted on his abdomen. The next thing they knew, the mist died down and the demon was left standing in his natural form before he vanished, screaming as flames surrounded him. The only sign of him left was a black scorch mark on the floor.
Both brothers stared at each other in shock."Dude, what was that?", Sam asked after a moment.
Dean shrugged."Hell if I know." He wiped his mouth off with the sleeve of his forearm and walked over to help Sam up. "Let's get out of here before one of his little friends show up."
Hence the buckets. Not only did it keep the floors clean, but Sam had saved and bottled enough of it to experiment with and use on hunts for at least a couple of years.
"Bull...bullfrog.", Dean settled on.
Sam raised an eyebrow and dropped the bucket. "Bullfrog?", he questioned.
"It's the kid. He's messing with me again.", Dean said. Sam's eyes wandered down to Dean's slightly protruding stomach which was still able to be hidden behind Dean's checkered flannels, but not in the increasingly shrinking black tee shirt and opened jeans he was sporting around the house.
"What do you mean? It's a fetus Dean. Not viable outside of your body. It doesn't have the physical or mental capabilities to "mess" with you."
"Fudge you, college boy. I know what I'm talking about alright? The kid's messing with me. It has to be some magical angel thing. I can't say anything without him making me sound like an idiot. Maybe it's evil." Sam gave him a look.
" I'm just saying, we don't have the best of luck with kids in this family. There's probably some truth to what they say about Nephilim."
"You know that's a bunch of crap. Those are just rumors Dean. Cas already explained it to us. Things people said because they were afraid of what was more powerful than them."
"If you say so."
Sam smirked. "Maybe the baby just doesn't want it's mommy to have a potty mouth."
Dean sent Sam a glare that could freeze hell several times over. "You think this is funny Sammy? Is my life a fudge-caking joke to you?"
"No. It's not funny at all.", he said with as serious a face as he could manage. His voice however, betrayed him as it raised a few octaves in an attempt to hide the howling laughter threatening to come out of his mouth.
Dean stormed angrily out of the room.
"Dean, come on! I was kidding.", Sam called after him.
Dean walked into the kitchen and dropped a bag of takeout on the counter. Chinese. The smell of fried rice permeated through the air and left his mouth watering. He leapt up from his position in front of the laptop and slid into a chair. Sam grabbed one of the plastic spoons and dug into the extra large carton. Dean didn't say a word and sat across from him, scraping his chair across the floor louder than necessary letting Sam know he was still pissed. He glanced up and decided to try a little light conversation.
"So... heard from Cas yet?"
Dean's knuckles tensed around his old fashioned bottle of cream soda. Since he couldn't drink beer anymore, Dean had taken to drinking soda from bottles instead of cans. Sam thought something about the coolness and frost of the refrigerated glass comforted him.
"Nope.", Dean replied running a frustrated hand over his hair. Cas had been gone for the past three weeks or so working on cases. Dean hadn't been able to get ahold of him as he was ignoring all of their calls though they know he heard them. Helpful items such as files and weapons had the tendency to appear to aid them when they called his name. But no Cas.
Normally Dean wouldn't care. He grew up this way. Him and Sam both. He wasn't some clingy chick who needed to hang onto his guy all the time, but after finding out that yes angels can reproduce with humans, no it doesn't matter the sex of the person, and holy fuck he was pregnant with a half angel baby; he needed help and answers. And yeah, he kind of missed Cas too. A little. A lot. It had been over a month since he was slammed face first into the mattress, Cas filling him up to the brim, his grace roaming over Dean's body, whispering into his ear what Dean assumed were really dirty things in a human proof version of his native language, setting dean's nerves aflame in ecstasy. And with their little monster playing tricks on his body and his choice of self expression, he wasn't in the best of moods.
Sam decided to change subjects. "We need to get Adam back home so I can get more information on the Mason case.", he said through a mouthful of food. Susanna Mason had been murdered one night in the kitchen and two days later her son was killed at his apartment as well. No traces, no evidence of a break-in. According to the news, there was a serial killer on the loose. According to the pattern they'd found during research, it was probably supernatural. In that area, there'd been several cases of members of the same family systematically being hunted and killed for seemingly no reason.
"He still buried deep in Jo's nookie huh?"
Adam and Jo had hooked up a while back and Adam was a semi-permanent fixture at the roadhouse these days. He was completely neglecting his hunting duties, other than the mild ones Jo dragged him on, but they let him slide. He was still a kid and he was fairly new to the hunting lifestyle. They'd taken him under their wing after his mom was killed and it was almost like he'd been there the whole time.
Sam allowed a look of disgust to grace his features. He almost lost his apetite. "You're a perv, you know that? Don't ever mention Jo and nookie in the same sentence again." Jo was like their little sister and he just couldn't think of her like that, even though it was clear that her and Adam were bumping uglies on a regular basis. "I already talked to the husband, but I need Adam to cozy up to the daughter to get us in the house."
"Why can't you do it?", Dean asked like it was obvious the solution.
"Because Dean, she's like two." More like sixteen, but still closer to Adam's age.
Dean looked thoughtfully, chewing on a fortune cookie. "What about the older one? The one in college."
Sam nervously scratched at his neck. "Tried that already. It didn't work. She kinda hates me."
Dean sighed deeply and leaned back, shirt rising up over his stomach. "Sammy, sammy, sammy.", he tsked. "You've gotta work on your game man."
"I'm sure you could do better." Sam rolled his eyes.
"I could do better in a wheelchair.", Dean smugly replied.
"Yeah well. You're not exactly in the seduction business right now." He gestured to Dean's growing belly to demonstrate his point.
"Look, all we need is to get close enough to steal her keys right? I can do that. It's Friday night. She's probably at the bar with some of her friends, getting wasted and waiting to hook up with the most attractive guy there.", Dean said with a smirk.
"I'm assuming that would be you."
The condescending tone Sam used was lost on Dean."Of course it's gonna be me Sam, who else? It's bound to be dark and loud in there just like every other bar on the planet. No one will be able to tell. It's a no brainer."
Dean was right. He was their only chance to get into the house before whatever it was came to finish the job with Susanna's husband and youngest daughter.
All of a sudden Dean burped, pressing his fist to his chest. To both of their surprise, a blue glowing bubble came out instead of air. Sam couldn't resist leaning over and touching it with his finger. It popped and exploded with silver glitter all over Dean's chicken lo mein. Dean stood up, hands on the table. "That's it. Cas! Get your feathery ascot down here or you're a dead angel.", he growled.
Cas appeared behind him, arms wrapped around Dean's waist, palms settled on his stomach, head resting on his shoulder. "Hello Dean. How are you?"
Dean whirled around and batted Cas's hands away. "Where the hell...icopter have you been? We've been calling you for weeks."
"I know and I apologize. I was busy."
"You were busy?", Dean asked incredulously. "You hear that Sam? He's been busy." Dean snorted. .
Cas inspected Dean's face carefully, tilting his head to one side. "You're upset.", he stated blankly.
Dean looked taken aback. "Upset? Nah. I'm not upset, I'm pissed off." Dean quickly pulled a gun from his back pocket and pointed it at Cas. Sam jumped up and gently took the weapon from his brother, lowering Dean's arm.
"Whoa, hey now. No shooting angels in the kitchen.", he said with a nervous laugh. He stepped in between the two. Sam and Dean engaged in a three minute glare off until Dean relented and sat back down at the table. "Not like he can die anyway Sam.
"He's a little hormonal.", Sam apologized. Cas raised an eyebrow at the 'little' part. "We've been dealing with some pretty weird stuff over here while you've been gone.", he explained.
"Such as...?", Castiel implored.
"Such as glitter burp bubbles and demon slaying puke? Is that normal?"
"For hybrids, yes. The child is manifesting it's powers. For one so young, this is a good sign. Our little one will be very powerful indeed." Castiel smiled lovingly at Dean whose urge to flip his boyfriend off diminished slightly. He felt a little bit better, but he wasn't quite ready to forgive Cas for leaving him to deal with it all by himself. The boy could hold a grudge.
"I bought crab rangoon in case you decided to show up tonight.", Dean mumbled sliding the carton towards Cas. Cas's eyes lit up and he picked up the box, pouring the entire carton's content into his mouth in one go. The greasy, fried triangles were his favorite.
"Thank you.", Cas said. "That was satisfying. I'm afraid I must go, I will phone at a later hour." He started to fade away.
"You've got to be kidding me? You're not going anywhere.", Dean said grabbing at the back of his disappearing trench coat and pulling him back into the room.
"Dean.", Cas sighed; his human form rematerializing. "I have to leave. I have charges. You know that." His eyes were regretful while also begging Dean to understand.
"Well you have a family too jack in the box! You can't abandon your family like that." Dean yelled wincing at how girly he sounded.
"I have not abandoned you.", Cas said offended. As offended as Cas could be anyway. "I am always watching over you. I understand how you must feel, but my work is very important. We have a future guardian angel who is close to falling from grace. I have to counsel him before he makes a grave mistake. This is not an easy task."
"Yeah and hunting is a walk in the park.", Dean sarcastically remarked getting into Cas's face. "While you're busy running around the whole world doing "counseling", he said using air quotes. "Or whatever, I'm stuck fighting demons and monsters and carrying your hybrid spawn around. I can't drink, I can't go five minutes without praying to the porcelain god, and my gumdrop nipples hurt! This is your fault and I'm not dealing with this sunshine alone.", he said pointing an accusing finger at Cas's chest.
Gumdrop? Sunshine? Cas's brow wrinkled at Dean's odd choice of words. He looked at Sam for help and Sam mouthed "baby" to him from behind Dean's back. "It takes two Dean. As I recall, you played an active role in our coupling as well." Before Dean could argue, Castiel held up a hand to stop him and continued. "I see now that I do not fully understand how this pregnancy is affecting you. I will attempt to cut things with Aaron short and return home. Two more weeks at the most."
In the middle of his speech, Sam started to wave wildly and shake his head in warning. When Cas said two more weeks, he motioned a noose around his neck, stuck his tongue out and lolled his head to one side. Cas was an idiot.
Dean's eyes narrowed dangerously. "If you leave this house tonight then don't bother coming back. We're done. Baby or no baby."
"Dean...", Sam started. This conversation was sickeningly familiar. It was the same ultimatum their father had issued him before he left for Stanford. He knew first hand how making someone choose between their loved ones and their dreams could ruin families. Dean knew it too. He was just riled up. Some of the lingering issues they both had from their childhood were creeping into their adult lives. Sam wanted to save him from doing something stupid like always.
"No. Cas here has to choose. It's me and the kid or his precious charges.", he said folding his arms in front of him.
Castiel's demeanor visibly deflated. "That isn't fair. I can't choose between my calling and my family.", Cas argued.
"Life isn't fair. Tell the other angels to shove it for one night. Get someone else to cover you. You have other things to do right now."
The argued back and forth. Nobody wanted to be the first to back down. Neither of them noticed the lights emanating from their backs.
"Um guys?", Sam interrupted. They ignored him. "Sammy, give my back my gun.", Dean demanded.
"Guys seriously.", he tried again. The lights hovered over both of their heads and mingled together in a blinding light. "Look out!", he called. Sam ducked and shielded his eyes.
Sam peeked up to see Dean and Castiel lying on the floor opposite of each other. He immediately ran to Dean to make sure he and the baby were alright. Dean shook his head to clear it. There was a ringing in his ears that he couldn't get rid off. The ringing eventually faded into a dull buzz. "What just happened?"
"I don't know.", Sam said slowly. "There was a blast of light and all of a sudden you and Cas were on the floor. He looked up at Sam who was more vivid than he'd ever seen him before. It was overwhelming. He closed his eyes and when he opened them, he seemed to have adjusted somewhat. He took in the warm purple glow with gold around the edges that surrounded Sam. "Sammy, you're glowing. It's beautiful.", he marveled.
A blush spread over Sam's cheeks. Okay, Dean was out of it. He probably had a concussion. "Um thanks? You're not bad yourself."
"No, I mean literally. You're glowing. Purple actually."
Sam was confused and looked down at himself not seeing anything. "What?" Their attention was grabbed by Cas's moans. He sat up slowly, blinking his clear blue eyes open.
"You okay man?", Sam asked.
"Yes Samuel. I am 'okay'. I do feel slightly nauseous however."
When Castiel noticed Dean on the floor he scooted over to him automatically. "Dean...", he said reaching out for his boyfriend.
"Back off Cas. Just give me a second.", Dean replied, pulling away and patting the side of his head. Dean was assaulted by a jumble of noise rushing into his mind that sounded like the chorus of a thousand voices. "Do you guys hear that?"
"The noise. It's like a hundred voices all at once. Fuck, that's annoying. Did you leave the tv on again?" Dean clamped both hands over his ears in vain.
"We don't have a tv.", Sam reminded him.
They all stared at each other in silence until Cas leaned over and vomited all over the floor. A bright neon yellow.
Dean subconsciously reached down to rub his stomach when he noticed that his bump wasn't there.
"The baby.", he choked out; panic lacing his voice. He knew he said he hated carrying the kid, but he still wanted it more than anything. The little monster was his whole life. His and Cas's little family. "It's gone." Sam looked over in concern when suddenly it all clicked. Dean was swearing like a sailor again, Cas was ill and throwing up everywhere. He looked closely at Castiel who was definitely sporting the faint outline of a bump underneath his oversized coat. Sam started laughing. His niece or nephew was a genius.
"What the hell Sam? My kid is gone, probably magicked away by a witch or a demon or even dead and you're laughing? For all we know, yellow eyes has got him.", Dean growled angrily.
"He's not gone Dean. He just...moved house.", he said pointing towards Cas's stomach.
Reviews, favs, and follows are always appreciated, enocuraged and loved 3... I like hearing what you guys think. It helps me keep writing.