Jarvis was mad.
It really was quite excusable. After all, the Avengers had treated him as if he was nothing more than a - a robot, with no thoughts or preferences of his own!
So Jarvis sat in Stark tower with a very sour look upon his non-existent face.
He was still in this position when Pepper Potts walked in.
'Jarvis?' she called.
'Miss Potts,' came his response. She must have heard the annoyance in his voice, for she asked,
'What's the matter?'
'If you're looking for Mr. Stark, I'm afraid he isn't available at the moment,' he said sulkily. 'He has gone to an ice cream parlour with his questionable friends.' Yes, Jarvis was in an abominable mood.
'Who?' asked Pepper, alarmed.
Jarvis sighed. 'The Avengers,' he admitted, 'and Agent Coulson.'
'Oh,' said Pepper, relieved. Then she frowned. 'And they didn't invite me!'
'I may point out that it was very inconsiderate of Mr. Stark to leave you out,' agreed Jarvis.
'Well, Jarvis,' she said briskly, 'why don't we prepare for their return?'
Tony Stark returned to his tower in the highest spirits, along with his 'questionable friends'. He whistled to himself as they all boarded the elevator, which would take them to the top level.
All went well for the first few levels. Then suddenly, at level 12, the elevator stopped with a lurch. Chaos ensued.
'Jarvis!' yelled Tony. 'What's going on?' He banged impatiently against the sides of the elevator.
'Never did like these things,' said Banner, fidgeting. 'Feel too much like a cage.'
'How does this even work?' asked Steve. 'Does it run on electricity?'
'Where' s Jarvis?' asked Natasha, who was in a hurry, because she wanted to go on a date with Clint.
'This is my bwotha's doing,' declared Thor. 'Loki, come here and let us out!' He joined Stark in banging on the walls.
'It's cold,' noticed Clint.
Then, to crown it all, the lights went out.
There was a shocked silence for exactly 5.7 seconds. Then more chaos broke out.
'What is happening?' yelled Stark. 'Jarvis! Get us out of here!'
'Your petty little artificial intelligence is nothing against my bwotha,' said Thor dismally.
'Who are you calling a petty little artificial intelligence?' roared Tony. 'That's Jarvis we're speaking of!'
'I have claustrophobia,' commented Clint.
'Now might be a good time for you to get angry,' said Steve, who was rather obsessed with Bruce getting angry.
'No!' yelled Tony and Natasha at the same time. 'He'll tear down the whole tower!' Tony continued.
'It's getting hard to breathe,' said Bruce.
'Here comes the hammer,' said Thor.
'Noooo!' cried Tony. But it was too late. Mjolnir smashed through the elevator and arrived at Thor's fist.
'Oww!' said someone. I think it hit someone in its flight.
'Well, now there's a hole,' said Steve.
'But where?' asked Natasha. 'I can't see anything!'
This went on for quite some while. No one could see anything, and the elevator refused to move. Finally the Avengers sat down in a helpless heap.
'Jarvis,' moaned Tony.
Suddenly the elevator shot upwards. Someone (not Natasha) screamed.
The lights flickered on, to reveal Earth' s Mightiest Heroes in a jumble on the elevator floor, and a large hole in the elevator wall. Tony groaned.
The lift doors slid open. They were on the top level. There stood Pepper Potts, smiling as if nothing had happened.
'Why, hello Tony,' she said innocently. 'What's going on?'
Tony groaned again.
His cell phone rang.
'Sir, the telephone,' said Jarvis.
'Jarvis, where the- ' Stark paused, glancing uncomfortably at Steve, and decided to leave a certain word out. 'Where have you been?'
'The telephone,' repeated Jarvis. Tony picked it up.
'Hello,' he yelled. 'Oh, uh, Coulson!' He paused. 'No, I haven't seen Loki. I thought you took him back to the helicarrier. . .' Another pause. 'I'll find him,' said Stark, hanging up. 'Where's Loki? He's gonna pay for wrecking my elevator!'
Pepper and Jarvis looked singularly demure and innocent. Tony stalked off to find Loki.
Thor, Natasha and Steve flopped on the couch. Bruce switched the TV to his favourite rugby channel.
'Hey, Pepper, thanks for coming to make us pizza,' said Clint.